


It Ends At Dawn

by KannaKyomu



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon Compliant (Mostly), Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Childhood, Codependency, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Explicit Language, Friendship, Gen, Hidan has a filthy mouth, I lied, Itachi Is Dispondent, Kisame Has A Sick Sense Of Humor, Nanami Also Has A Filthy Mouth, Nanami's Capacity For Love is Boundless, Not Canon Compliant, Parent-Child Relationship, Perfection in Imperfection, Psychological Trauma, Semi Self-Insert/OC, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Toxic Relationships, Tragedy, Unhealthy Relationships, feral child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-30 05:51:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 46
Words: 128,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8520907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KannaKyomu/pseuds/KannaKyomu
Summary: She couldn't remember if she was a little girl, a grown woman, or some kind of wild beast. All she wanted was what anyone wants- a purpose, a reason to be. The day she meets the man who embodies the ocean, is the day she chooses the path she will take in this life. Because it wasn't about her anymore. Maybe it never was. Semi-SI/OC





	1. Who I Was (Who Am I?)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is something I couldn't get out of my head and I've been working on it off and on for a while. It was actually supposed to just be a quick 10k one-shot and then, well- you know how it is. Things got away from me. In anycase, it's a stand alone story (unrelated to my other fics) I hope you enjoy, please read and review.  
> P.S. I don't speak fluent Japanese, I apologize if there are any mistakes, I did my best.
> 
>  
> 
> Japanese words the main character doesn't understand(or immediately understand) Are in Italics.  
> Words the main character does understand Are in regular font.  
> (Subconscious thoughts) Are in parentheses.
> 
> This chapter was not Beta-ed, I don't own Naruto.

Chapter One: Who I Was (Who Am I?)

"You don't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there." –Lewis Cole

* * *

This wasn't what she'd been expecting at all.

Not that she'd ever really stopped to think about it before, but you know; the thought had vaguely crossed her mind once or twice that there may or may not be something after death.

She'd always been more interested in living in the moment, a kind of go-with-the-flow type person. She spent most of her days outside, camping, hiking, going on adventures. There was a whole big beautiful world out there and she had always promised herself that she would see it all. She did too, she went all sorts of places exploring cultures and terrains and generally just not worrying about existential things like life and death.

So, no. There really hadn't been a whole lot of 'I wonder what will happen after I die' because honestly she just wasn't that type of girl.

Maybe she should have though. Maybe she would have been more prepared for this. Then again probably not.

The ocean had swelled full of life and a sense of peace, lapping at the white sand beach like they were age old lovers. She loved the sound of it rushing forward to greet her toes; the way it roared and hushed at the same time. She loved the smell of it; all brine and salt, the kind of smell that got in your hair and stuck to you for days reminding you of the vastness of life beneath the waves.

It had been dawn she recalled, and she'd slept on that beach full of contentment and imaginings that all was right with the world. Her brother had come with her on this particular trip and it was good to spend some time with him after her six month stint in Germany. The Black Forest had really been something to see.

It had never crossed her mind that this would be her last day on earth. Why would it?

The sun broke the horizon, painting big fluffy clouds in stark pink and red hues. It made her brother's blond hair tinge an orange color. She imagined her own hair had probably sported the same look; there was never any question in anyone's mind that the two were related when seen together. (He was her best friend, her only friend.)

She remembered it had been a beautiful morning, a tranquil morning. She had felt such contentment. (She would look back later, and think maybe it had been a good day to die.)

She couldn't remember the details of how it had happened, and that was probably for the best. She did however remember the ocean's embrace. It had been icy cold, it made her skin pucker and shivers slide down her spine. And then the light dimmed, the cold receded and somehow she'd lost sight of which way had been 'up.' Her small frame lost in the soft tumble of water that spun her head over heels.

She couldn't remember if there had been panic, or any sense of urgency. Knowing herself she'd probably just accepted it like she had everything else. There was a kind of freedom in death she supposed, and that's all she had ever wanted in her life- freedom. (This is what she told herself, when she wandered aimlessly and alone for miles across countries) Besides, there were worse ways to go and she always had loved the sea, she'd seen every one the world had to offer her. At least all the major ones, she'd never seen the Dead Sea; there simply hadn't been enough time.

She took the whole thing pretty easily, actually. Maybe it was the shock, or the lack of emotional details she could remember. Or maybe it's just because that's who she was. (Maybe she just didn't like to think about it.)

Carefree to a fault, a bit naive, wholly accepting. That's who she'd always been.

It didn't really matter now anyways, did it? She'd lived that life exactly how she wanted to and now she's here.

Her brother always had complained that she was too easy going- that she didn't concern herself enough with the reality of things. He'd been one of the many people to tell her that traipsing across the world alone was a bad idea, not that she had listened- and she didn't regret it either. People called her whimsical with her vague, wispy personality. She didn't pay them much mind. She did love her brother though, he'd always been around to offer a helping hand or guide her in the right direction. She sure did miss his smiles, his carefree laugh so like her own. Maybe she even missed his nagging a little.

There wasn't anyone to nag her anymore.

She couldn't remember what her name had been in that life; but she tried not to dwell on the loss because dwelling just wasn't like her. (Expect, maybe she dwelled on her brother some. Her sweet, kind beautiful brother- oh, how she missed him.) Her name was Nanami now, and the irony of having a name that meant 'seven oceans' wasn't lost on her. She liked it though; it was as good a name as any, and it was hers.

It was the only thing she had- and wasn't that an interesting idea; to have your name be the only thing that's truly yours. (Because she was alone now, so very alone.)

Some things in this new life though, were not as easy to accept. Which in its own way was strange if she had ever stopped to think about it, but she supposed sometimes things in life were harder to understand than death. Death was pretty straight forward.

This world was very different from her last one, and Nanami was very young when she first realized that reality was not something she could ignore here. It had come on the back of a beast called indigence, and the realization that nowhere was safe had been jarring, a sudden painful kind of realization. Many days and nights spent trailing after the fluttering end of a dirty kimono. No place to sleep, hunger eating away at her. Dangerous people everywhere- and here she was, with stubby little legs caked in mud and grabby, chubby hands so unlike the smooth elegant ones she was used to.

All she'd ever wanted was freedom, to make her own choices, to go where she pleased, say and do as she liked.

And that was something she wasn't born with the opportunity to have in this world. At least- not inherently.

' _The time will come._ ' Her mantra during these first years, because she knew how to survive, she knew how to crawl through the woods with nothing on her back, how to trap a beast for food and forage the wilds for sustenance. Nanami could do it. She knew she could. She'd spent a lifetime (albeit a short one) around perfecting the concept.

She was born in a place called Water country, on an island called Wave. (An unimaginative name if ever she'd heard one.)

At first, this didn't really mean much to her outside of the immediate concerns; the search for shelter, the desperate scramble for food. Her poor attempts at learning the language that no one would speak to her with. Her mother was her only caretaker, her foremost reason for sticking around (the other being her age, she was so very young.) But her mother never spoke, and Nanami wondered if the horrible burn scars around the woman's mouth had something to do with it. She had no teeth, and when she ate solid things she had to mash them with rocks first. It was a startling thing to watch, but Nanami became accustomed to it after a year or two.

Her mother hummed a lot though, soft birdlike sounds that she made with her lips closed, Nanami liked to follow along with her soft flowing tunes, it was something they did to fill the space between them when they had no words to offer each other. Her little hand held tight in her mother's bone thin one (she wasn't much better off) who would guide her through back alleys, through the ditches and slums of this island. (mother was safety, mother was home when they didn't have one)

It was often the only sound from another person she'd hear for days. It was during one of these occasions that her mother seemed to want to comfort her during a moonless night that she had a new startling discovery about her life as Nanami.

She could… feel... something. She wasn't sure how to describe such a thing in words from her last language or her new one, as it was a strange sensation. It was in the air, the trees, it swirled around her- from within her. It lived inside her mother too, calm and flowing. Each sense has its own tinge of… uniqueness to it. Her mother for example who she had more contact with than any other human felt like comfort, and cool spring air.

Yea, it didn't make a lot of sense to her either- but there it was.

Her mother, this woman, whom she had never learned the name of, was the only human being who was a constant fixture in her life- but it was a sad, distant sort of permanence. Sometimes, the woman whose eyes were so much like hers would look down at her small filthy figure with this expression of absolute devastation and apology. Like she was sorry she'd brought Nanami into the world at all. Nanami would give the woman who couldn't be past her teens a gentle pat with tiny hands, and a soft reassuring smile as if to say, ' _It's okay. I would never blame you.'_

Her mother couldn't even give her a name. That had been courtesy of the kind old lady at a fish stand who felt like kindness and sunlight who had taken pity on the filthy child of a mute beggar.

"What's your name?" The little girl looked up at her with wide, doe brown eyes, as if surprised she had bothered to ask. The poor thing shook her head gently side to side, filthy mud crusted hair swaying with the movement.

"Mou, _Sōdesu ka_..." The old woman gave her a kind smile, and reached down with gnarled old hands to gently place a fish into her chubby little ones. It was cold, with pretty silver scales and a tail like a mermaid's fin. It couldn't have been any larger than her forearm and yet… she was so grateful. She didn't know this fish's name in this world, but she knew its name in her last. She had swam with it in the deep oceans, watched its beautiful glide through the water as it stuck close to it's protector. She liked this fish.

" _Omō_ Nanami-chan is a good name, no? _Tanoshimimasu_ the _kobanzame._ " And with a slightly tentative, gentle pat the woman sent her on her way.

They were the first things she'd ever been given here in exchange for nothing. She cherished the name as much as she had the fish that she and her mother shared that night. When the next day had dawned, the old woman had returned to her stall to find a little hay doll, lashed together with bits of threadbare twine- the only gift Nanami could give to her in return for her kindness.


	2. Self-Sufficient (Loneliness)

Chapter Two: Self-Sufficient (Loneliness)

"You don't need water to feel like you're drowning, do you?"

* * *

Nanami didn't know how old she was really; it's not like they celebrated birthdays (a lost concept that was only a distant, foreign one now) and the first few years of this life had a dim sort of recall that she supposed meant her undeveloped brain hadn't been up to the task of clear thought processes. She could walk, and speak simple things in the language here when she chose too. Some words she learned in passing, others she knew from her travels in the life before. (Japanese wasn't something she'd studied, although she'd heard it enough when she indulged in one of her few indoor hobbies.)

She thought maybe she was four. (She guessed.)

It was not long after she received her name that _the day had come._

Nanami stood over her mother's still form in the darkened alley, and there was no swirl that came from her center. No ebb and flow of comfort and cool spring air. Just cold, stiff flesh. She said no words, for she had none to give, but she rolled the woman towards her when she would not wake. Her mother's body had become skeletal over the winter, what food they had she had selflessly given to her daughter. Nanami wasn't much better off, but then again she was alive. And her mother- clearly, was not.

Still… it was spring now, and they had been so close to coming out of it together…

She felt a pang of regret for… something. (everything) Maybe that she couldn't change the life her mother lead, or provide more for their little two person family unit, but she was young; barely outside of being a toddler. Her choices had always been few and she knew that this day would come. The day she would be left alone.

So she left, but not before placing a yellow wildflower in the woman's hands that she'd procured from a nearby drainage ditch. She bowed before the body, and silently thanked her in her last life's language for all the care she had provided, all the love she had tried to show her only daughter.

And then Nanami returned to the wilds where she belonged.

* * *

Nanami had more than her name she realized with some comfort a week into her sadly claimed freedom. (a victory as much as it was a failure)

She realized this as little hands gathered together wild warabi along a river's edge. She carefully and painstakingly cleared all of the leaves from the edible fern, and washed the stems in the shallows of the rushing water. A small fire crackled through a particularly wet bit of foliage behind her.

Yes, Nanami realized, she had a name, and she had _knowledge._

* * *

There was no one in this place, she knew with some amount of relief as well as trepidation. (She brushed away the creeping loneliness as she had many times before, in more than one life without hesitation.)

She didn't know how far she'd left Wave behind, but after begging her way onto a small riverboat oared by a fisherman in exchange for a handful of wineberries, and traveling on foot as far away from any road as she could get for an entire week- she figured that she was probably a decent distance. She was a small thing, (just a child) but she'd burned with a single minded determination to _leave_ and be _away_ from that god forsaken place. Which had led her to walking as long as there was light to see by for seven days.

She was tired, her calves burned, and she was sweaty and dirty. Her feet bore the callouses of a hard life with no shoes, but even those appendages were at her limit. She stopped at dusk by yet another river- this place had a lot of rivers she thought distantly. (It sparked a dim memory somewhere, before that too faded.)

It was here, waist deep in the cold river that she came face to face with another thing in this life she didn't know how to accept.

The man came from the treetops. Jumping down from the high boughs to land at the water's edge like it was nothing- like it wouldn't have broken both the legs of any _normal_ human being.

He felt like sun warmed but ridged stone arching proudly into the shade of an autumn tree.

Nanami skittered away, afraid. She wadded backwards, towards where she'd left her clothing to dry. The man didn't move, but his eyes followed her, reflecting a concern she wasn't used to seeing outside of kind old ladies and her late young mother.

" _Daijōbu desu ka_?" he called to her, and she thought she knew the words, but his dialect was heavy and the words spoken in a rush. She'd heard the words before, (maybe?) but never directed at her. The man looked confused, and Nanami thought it looked kind of fetching on his handsome face. He had deep raven black hair and milky white eyes. Those eyes looked around at the surrounding trees, as if he could see something she couldn't. She thought maybe… she should recognize them. It seemed… familiar?

He wore odd clothing, with hems wrapped in bandages and fishnet peeking out from the neckline. She thought he must be well off to afford anything other than simple kimonos or rags.

" _Anata wa ushinawa rete imasu ka?"_ He called again crouching down in the gravel at her eye level, and the lit to his voice told her it must be a question, but she didn't know how to reply. He spoke to quickly, with an accent unlike the one in Wave. So she shook her head, newly cleaned sandy brown hair swaying around her chubby face, and reached for her still damp threadbare kimono that she'd left to sun on a relatively clean rock. She pulled it on quickly before exiting the water, not that it did much more than make her clothes wet again, the water was clear enough to see through.

" _Watashi wa… yoku h-hanasu ikemasen…"_ She repeated the memorized words to the man, stumbling over them with childish lips and tongue. Words from a past life and past travels. _I don't speak well…_ at least, she was pretty sure that's what it meant.

If anything the man looked even more confused. His brow furrowed beneath strange white bandages wrapped across his forehead, and took another look around the clearing, and when he seemingly didn't find what he was looking for he turned back to her.

" _Daijōbu ni narudarou"_ He said slowly this time, and she picked it apart through his thick accent enough to recognize the simple reassurance. _It's going to be okay._

" _Watashi o shinjite_ ," He said, holding up his hands so she could see his empty palms.

And then he _walked across the surface of the water._

She couldn't help the gasp that escaped her in startled surprise. "What the hell!" She cried out, English heavy on her tongue as she sprang backwards- tripping in her haste, and scrambling with little hands and feet away from the… the-

Freaking- wizard! Or something!

He visibly hesitated for a moment, bobbing up lightly as the rushing water crested up and down. Nanami stared at him with wide eyes and mouth hanging open.

" _Watashi wa Konoha no shinobi desu…"_ He told her haltingly hands still up in the air in a disarming gesture as he stepped onto the solid earth of her side of the river, a scant few feet away. Then he turned his arm so she could see the metal plate sewn into his shirt sleeve.

_Konoha._

He had said _Konoha._

He had said he was a _ninja from Konoha._

What.

"I'm… dreaming?" She breathed staring at the swirled leaf engraving. Because, this had to be a dream. Or maybe after everything, after all she'd managed to live through this time she'd finally cracked. (or maybe she'd always been insane)

That had to be it.

But… then again…

Water country… land of waves… now she knew why it had sounded so familiar. The weird sense of things she had sometimes…

The man had just walked on water for fucks sake.

He had blind white eyes which he used to see just fine. _Hyuuga_. She realized her own wide eyes staring into his milky concerned ones.

"Konoha?" She spoke after a few moments. He seemed to be waiting for her to make the next move. She figured that was probably for the best, she felt pretty skittish right now. She hadn't heard another person speak in quite some time let alone had anyone declare themselves a native to a fictional universe.

Well… she had always wanted to travel.

"Yes." He reiterated softly. He took another step towards her, and she forced herself not to tense.

"Konoha is f-far away _?"_ She continued to stumble childishly over the words. Even after hearing them coherently over the last few years, (although rarely spoken to her, she lamented not trying harder to learn now that she needed it.) she still didn't speak or understand it very well.

But she was curious to know, enough to attempt at the little Japanese she could speak to find out. That mythical place she'd only seen on hotel TV's and read about in glossy books while tucked deep into the far corners of nowhere.

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and for a moment she was stunned to see some actually smile. _At her._

How… novel.

" _Sūjitsu"_ He said with that same smile, and she had no idea what it meant, but she liked the sound of his soft voice anyways.

He hesitated again, eyes sweeping out into the trees. " _Tabun..."_ he amended himself, wide milky eyes landing back on her. She knew this word was something like 'maybe'

" _Yori nagaidesu"_ He seemed to say more to himself than to her.

" _Watashi to kite?"_ He added in a rush after looking up over them at a hawk that circled a few times in an odd pattern before gliding away beyond the tree line. It seemed to mean something to him, because his demeanor tensed slightly, he looked more haggard, stressed, like he had somewhere to be.

Nanami startled again at his words after taking a long moment to repeat them to herself out loud and much slower under her breath.

He wanted her to come with him? To Konoha? Why?

She felt the suspicion bred into her from this world rear its ugly head.

"Why?" She questioned him with narrowed eyes, bringing herself to stand again and taking a few quick steps backwards; undoing the progress he'd made towards her. His hands quickly came back up from where they'd come to rest at his sides. Palms out and facing her.

Nanami knew this meant nothing in the long run, if he really was a ninja, or shinobi as he called himself- he could kill her without any effort.

She was only a child after all.

" _Doko ka_ safe." He said slowly, carefully as if catching the mistake to his rushed words earlier. There was the sound a crowing bird in the distance, and he looked up and away from her, murmuring something that she assumed was probably a cuss word.

She definitely needed to learn some of those.

He said something else to her, but she was too busy backing up and shaking her head in the negative. She didn't know this man, she wasn't going anywhere with him.

The only thing she knew about shinobi and the village hidden in the leaves was in a book from another lifetime, and Nanami didn't trust that anywhere but on her own would truly be safe.

The Konoha shinobi made a frustrated, strangled noise, he made a slow aborted gesture like he might reach for her, but stopped himself.

He sighed then, and swung a bag from one shoulder to place it on the ground. He crouched before it, and began to dig around through it. Nanami, despite what she knew was in her best interests felt her curiosity perk.

What was he doing?

She watched him warily from a distance as he began to draw out items and place them aside. A blanket, several little bars wrapped in dull foil, and what she recognized was a kunai. She tensed at the last item, watching warily as he placed it on the ground. He stood with his bag, and backed away from the pile on the ground.

He gave her a sad, pitying smile.

" _Chūi shite kudasai,"_ He turned, and added with a last casual wave, " _Jā matane"_

And he was gone just as quickly as he'd come.


	3. Raven Eyes, Oceans

Chapter Three: Raven Eyes, Oceans

"The two most important days in your life, are the day you are born; _and the day you find out why._ "-Mark Twain

* * *

The kunai Nanami found quickly, she was very grateful for. She made another unrefined swipe across the greenwood branch to shed it of it's outer layer. It was a good branch, not too stiff with age, but not too soft like a sapling. Greenwood had a lot of useable properties.

She had thought maybe she could use the ration bars as fish bait once she'd peeled the outer foil off of one. It turned out though that it was a bit too dry and crumbly. Even with the malleable brush vine she'd dug up to secure it with. So she stuffed them into her kimono held in place by an obi that was becoming too small. The blanket she had tied around her shoulders like a mock cape so that she could have her hands free. It was probably the nicest blanket she'd seen in this life, thick and soft with no frayed edges.

That Konoha-nin had been so kind to her, but she didn't regret her refusal to go with him.

She was better off on her own. (Even if the gaping maw of loneliness consumed more of her day by day)

Nanami squeaked when she made a pass with the kunai too close to her little fingertips. She dropped the stick and stuck the clumsy digits in her mouth. They tasted like bitter grass and copper.

Not for the first time, she lamented the memory of a graceful body. This one was young, swathed in baby fat with stubby arms and legs. (It felt right, but was it?) It made simple things that required some small amount of dexterity immensely difficult.

Other things though she had to admit were much easier now. Her center of gravity was lower, her muscle memory seemed to absorb things like a sponge. It made relearning her way around climbing trees and unconsciously avoiding obstacles at a run much easier. There were even some advantages she had here that she never had in her past life.

Chakra.

She could only do the most simple of things with it consciously- she distantly remembered a few of the control exercises described in the show and in the books, and she tried them out during the light of the moon with a modicum of success. She could stick leaves to her body with ease, and after some practice she could cling to trees through the output in her hands and feet- she found she could also exert extra force through her limbs, adding strength she wouldn't normally have. All of this came easily for Nanami, as if she'd always known how to do it, if only she were to try. (Other things though, didn't seem to come at all.)

But chakra's true use came with her extreme awareness of it. Sometimes it felt like she was treading through a bog with how thick it could be in the air. It wasn't just the air though, it was everything. Everything glowed with chakra, animals left trails of it behind them as they weaved through the more settled chakra of trees, even the rivers and the earth beneath her feet had a subtle, soft kind of life to it.

The more she practiced using chakra, the easier it was to do things with. (The easier it was to see)

Ambient chakra of lesser creatures, especially, she found relatively easy to direct or make suggestions to. All she had to do was reach out a tendril of her own chakra and nudge along theirs. She thought maybe her intentions were carried through the strange blue energy, because no matter how she pushed at a deer or a rabbit if she wanted them to go left, they went left. If she wanted them to feel passive, they would relax, and if she wanted them to feel aggressive she only need to direct them towards their target with the thought in mind.

She sat for a few long moments, the morning light warming the back of her neck, before curling her short light brown hair behind her ears, and moving on with her day. (she had cut her hair herself)

She stood, reaching for her make-shift spear, and looped her branch vine through a hole on one end and securing the other to her wrist.

It wouldn't do her much good if it floated off down the river, she'd have to start all over again.

So she crouched her tiny form at the edge of the river and waited for the telltale flash of silver scales, weapon arm bent and childish muscles coiled. She reached out with a tendril of chakra from her center, and brushed it along the chakra of the aquatic animals she sought.

She pulled one away from the mass that was too far for her to reach, making light suggestions to it until it came within the range of her weapon. Then she struck.

* * *

Life went on like this for a long while for the wild child. Eight turns of the moon, maybe more. She lost count. (And wasn't it nice that she could still count?) She made her home amongst the roots and branches of the trees that lived alongside her. She never left river country, because the abundance of water and the thick foliage and animal life was plentiful.

At least, for now.

Nanami continued to work with her chakra, attempting at things she saw in the show with little to no success. (she still didn't really understand, how does one make fire from nothing? How do you make the earth rise beneath your feet? She failed utterly in these attempts.) She found it was sort of like an extra limb she'd just discovered. Or as if her eyes were capable of seeing ultraviolet now after only seeing the regular spectrum of color for a lifetime.

She used it to ferrow out rabbits from their homes, (finding them was easy now) and follow the best deer trails to find edible berries. It was pretty useful actually. The more she followed the wispy blue trails of chakra, the better she got at detecting it- the farther away she would become aware of it's existence; until her awareness began to encompass a vast amount of the forest she called home.

Mostly though, she used it to avoid people.

Because human chakra was much larger than a rabbit or a birds, (it also behaved very differently) and skirting around humanity became second nature once she realized she could feel them coming.

She didn't meet any more shinobi for a long time. (she didn't meet anyone at all)

In the glow of the moon light, she would hum soft things with her lips closed that her mother had shown her. (To stave away the gaping maw of loneliness that waited patiently to eat her alive, always just at her back, always waiting, waiting)

She lost a lot of words in this time, a leap backwards from the small amount of progress she'd made as a child in Wave.

She couldn't really say she was sorry though. She had English, (not that she ever spoke aloud, but she thought in English interestingly enough) and she communicated with her surroundings through chakra use. She liked the deer best, they were the most receptive to her touch.

In any case, there were no plans to leave this place any time soon. There was still more to discover, rivers she had yet to cross, berries and nuts she hadn't tried yet. (She told herself this was why, and buried the sharp edge of the lie within herself- because in this world there was the fear.)

* * *

The first time she felt it, she was busy plucking long feathers from some kind of white bird. She didn't know its name, but she liked to call them water walkers from the way they would trudge through the shallows of river banks looking for crawfish and perch.

They looked sort of like cranes only smaller.

Regardless, she wanted the long wing feathers for something to braid into her hair. The sleek black crow feathers she adorned now were getting worn, and she hadn't been able to catch anymore of the elusive and much more intelligent birds.

Plus she liked the way they tasted with wild mushrooms.

She had a good five perfectly shaped white feathers in her grip when the sense hit her hard enough to make her drop the fowl carcass.

She squeezed the quills in her fist, eyes wide in surprise.

It was the ocean. Rolling deep and calm in its unfathomable depths. It's edges lapped at hers, grazing, touching, smoothing across her skin in a way that was so achingly familiar. She felt a pang of grief for a moment, the hurt of longing and desire, and before she realized what she was doing, her little childs body had sprung up and she was running with light confident feet through the underbrush.

It was far, the vastness of the chakra was hard to miss even from the distance she had been at. She leapt over a shallow creek, toes gliding across moss laden rocks and soon she found herself in an area she usually avoided.

It was a road. (humans, not safe)

She flung herself across it, trampling down the lancing fear at the sight of humanities touch in the forest. Still, she ran. Hands and feet primed with chakra grasping and flinging like a wild beast.

Because it was the ocean, someone bore it within them and she _needed_ it. (She was so lost, always searching for that _something)_ It drove her forward, legs burning her hair whipping behind her trailing leather cords and crow feathers.

She always felt like she could fly when she ran like this. Nanami, the wild monster born from deep waters who made her home amongst the roots and creatures that were all claws and teeth. Nanami, the little girl who could never remember if she was a little girl or a woman grown.

She was getting closer.

She flew parallel with the trodden road, far enough to be out of sight but close enough to follow its blazing path.

She pushed off a high root, the ball of her small foot arching away with the use of her own chakra that was so much like the chakra she trailed after daily. She flung her arms in front of her, small hands landing flat and firm against the trunk of a barren tree, she used the momentum to fling herself to the left and she skidded to a halt back on the road she loathed to be near.

And there they were.

Just ahead, walking along as if they owned the dirt beneath their feet and the leafy boughs above their heads. (maybe they did, who was she to argue? She only borrowed from this place.)

She panted heavily from her run. She bent forward, hands resting on the ground between her knees as she gulped in much needed air.

The ocean swelled before her hinting at the dangers beneath. There were sharp teeth inside she knew, ready to rend asunder if she made one wrong move. (she didn't care anymore.)

"Wuh-wait, pleh...please" She panted stumbling over unfamiliar words that felt ugly on her lips. Her voice was a bit too high in her childish lit, and the words heavy with Wave country inflection.

The two before her stopped, and turned around to face her. Black cloaks with bloody red clouds swirling at their feet.

Her attention was captivated by the larger man. He was the ocean before her, blending seamlessly with the almost identical ocean that belonged to the sword strapped on his back.

His silver eyes alighted on her form, she couldn't see the lower half of his face because of the high collar of his cloak and her low vantage point, but she got the sense that he was grinning indulgently as he waited.

_Kisame_ a distant memory informed her.

He tipped his head slightly to his much shorter companion. " _Anata no yūjin?"_ He asked the other man.

His voice was just as deep as the sea inside him.

"No." the shorter man replied, in an accent that matched the Hyuuga she had met so long ago. A leaf-nin then.

_Itachi_ she knew. His eyes narrowed as if he could hear her thoughts, and she hesitated, body language twitching away from him fearfully.

Could his eyes read her thoughts? She didn't think so. They didn't spin with red, they were only the deep black of… unsettling, but normal eyes.

"I-" Nanami stuttered, afraid of the man who felt of a raven's gaze. Sharp and intelligent.

Her eyes swept away from him, and settled to the ocean beside him. Her confidence returned a little, because this… he was…

He was the deep waters she loved.

Her lips parted looking for the right words- words she didn't know in their language. Her little fingers clutched around the long white feathers.

She bowed her head forward to him, "I don't- I don't speak well" She apologized. She stared at the ground beneath her for a moment before she slowly, purposefully rose to catch his silver eyes with hers.

His brows had risen. " _Nandeshou?"_ He sounded impatient, the waters of his chakra cresting at the edges in annoyance.

Nanami reached forward and gently placed her hard earned first full of prizes on the ground between them. She took a step back from them, hands and feet like a quadruped. (All fours was her advantage, more chakra points to push away with, the faster she could leave with) Her heart pounded, it was all she could do to focus over the roaring of blood in her ears.

She didn't know the words she wanted, and it made her want to cry with frustration. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, but she keep her gaze solidly on the feathers she'd laid at his feet.

It was the only gift she had to give.

"For… to give…" She stumbled, and she did look up at him then, hoping that maybe he would understand even though she sounded stupid. She bit her cheek in frustration.

His eyes traveled from the feathers to her, she thought maybe he looked humored. Itachi at his side watched her with sharp knowing eyes that bloomed with mirth despite his slack, empty features. Raven Eyes she dubbed him in her mind. (She wasn't supposed to know his name, after all.)

"Gift, to water-" She paused, was that right? She wasn't sure if the word 'gift' was one she knew.

"For shark beneath water." She corrected, nodding to herself in satisfaction. She watched him for his reaction, attempted to blink away the moisture in her eyes. She hoped the words were close enough.

The fabric of his cloak shifted and he crouched slowly, she tensed slightly before forcing herself to relax, she caught her bottom lip between her teeth instead.

He was the ocean. If he wanted to take her life again, she felt it was his right. (She was broken, she realized. So very broken.)

His sleeve lifted, a large hand coming out to lightly pluck a feather from the ground between calloused fingers.

"Why?" He asked her, his silver eyes boring with some emotion she didn't understand.

She reached deep for the right answer, for the right words she just didn't fucking know _god damn it-_

" _Nazenah-"_ She stopped. That definitely wasn't right. She bit her lip again to stop the sound of frustration from escaping.

" _Naze…"_ She tried again, eyes sliding away in shame.

" _Nazenara." Because_. Raven Eye's supplied. She looked up at him mustering all the gratefulness into her eyes that she could possibly hope to convey. His head tipped to her in acknowledgement, as if to say, 'your welcome.'

She looked back over to Kisame, who was waiting patiently at her eye level- sortof, even crouched she still had to look up to meet his eyes. She was so small, and he was… not.

"Because of love." She said, resisting the urge to shrug helplessly.

Kisame reared back as if she'd struck him, and for a moment she shrank back, had she said the wrong thing?

He chuckled, a deep sound full of delight and good humor. Nanami smiled (relieved) up at him as he rose, feather still held between index and thumb.

"Thank you." He laughed, turning away with his companion and the two began to walk away.

He took his prize with him.

It was then she knew, that for her, this was the man who hung the moon in the sky. The man who made the sun rise in the mornings and sleep in the evenings. The man who crested the oceans tide and lulled the world to sleep with a roar that was also a hush.

Hoshigaki Kisame.


	4. Burning Earth, False Pieces

Chapter Four: Burning Earth, False Pieces

"A simple hello could lead to a million things."

* * *

She pulled the dirt aside with a cupped hand and the aid of a small amount of chakra, this hovel was coming along well, and she liked the way the roots of the tree lifted into the air, obscuring the opening from view, and the vine like branches hung low. It wasn't a willow tree, because this area wasn't really swampy enough for willows, but it seemed kind of similar. It smelled nice too, and that was always a plus.

When the hole she'd dug between the roots was large enough to fit two of her she called it sufficient and started piling the removed dirt onto the mat she'd weaved from dry grass. She didn't want ants coming to make their home in the piles, it was best to disperse the dirt away from her sleeping hovels.

She was on her last removal trip when a new chakra pinged onto her mental map. She looked up, perplexed by this new being.

It was too large to be a normal human, but certainly not as large as her ocean. It felt like… soft wet earth in a light rain, but there was something else to it, a tinge of… burning. A hint of fire.

So she rolled up her mat, and blended her chakra with the forest around her and made her way towards it.

Past three rivers, and nearer to the road she despised she found it… or him rather. She crouched low on the high branch, observing the makeshift camp below.

She knew his name was Deidara, but more importantly she knew he was a friend (acquaintance?) of her Oceans.

He wore the same cloak that Raven Eye's and Ocean had. The Akatsuki cloak, she recalled. Still, she was hesitant to approach him. She had no reason to really, and a quick sweep of the area around them told her that his partner was not far behind. The feeling of the puppetmaster made her beyond uncomfortable, all cold shifting parts that didn't quite fit together like they were supposed to.

Despite this… she kind of liked the way Burning Earth looked, he was nice to look at with his long flowing blond hair and easy posture. (He looked… a little like the brother she'd once had) His eye's were closed, and he sat himself against a tree with a small fire smouldering lowly in front of him.

Nanami made her decision, and she turned silently and made her way to the river in the east that she knew would house the thing she wanted. It took her the better part of an hour, but in the end she had soft clean clay piled onto her mat, she rolled the corners together and tied it with a vine from her new hovell tree.

She collected a small amount of dried rabbit, and a few beechnuts and made her way back to Burning Earth. She perched quietly on the same branch as before, he seemed to be asleep now, but the clearing had gained the puppet master as well.

He truly scared her, his wooden body was large with that tail made of many parts, hunched over like she did when she needed to make a leap on all fours. It reminded her of some of the more dangerous predators before they made a strike.

She skittered away from his position, and shimmied down the far side of a trunk, closer to Burning Earth. The only sound was of the leaves rustling, and the smouldering pop of their camp fire. She stepped lightly on her toes, bringing her center of gravity as low as she could, her gifts clutched tightly to her chest.

She placed them on the ground not far from the blond man's sleeping form. She turned to leave, mission accomplished- but froze at the sound of a voice.

"Who are you, un?" She turned slowly to meet bright, crystal blue eyes. He was crouched into a battle ready position, his eyes flickered from her, to the gift she'd left, to his companion and back to her. She got the impression he was cataloging.

"I'm sorry" She said quickly, quietly. "I not meaning-" She paused. "to noisy" she didn't know how to say disturb.

Burning Earth tilted his head, blond hair swaying. His eyes narrowed on her. Behind him, puppet pieces clacked and made a nasty shifting noise that grated on her ears. She needed to get out of here quickly.

She made a slow gesture at the bundle and then to Deidara. "For friend of Shark." She told him. She gestured at his cloak. "Red Cloud friend."

Burning Earth shifted, his battle stance eased. "Kisame?" He asked sounding incredulous. She nodded fervently. (She didn't want to die right now)

"Nanami loves Oceans." She told him sincerely. He choked, one hand coming up to grip the front of his shirt as he started laughing loudly, vivaciously into the air above him.

She took a quick step back, hoping to take advantage of his distraction, but the puppet came forward then, a clearly threatening movement that made her freeze.

" _Sorehanan desu ka?"_ His fake body asked her. Her eye swept away from him, uncomprehending of what he'd asked.

"I'm sorry" she said again, and repeated her age old phrase. "I don't speak well." Burning Earth's roaring laughter eased back into soft chuckles. "Loves Kisame, _Dono yōna jōdan,_ un _."_ he said wiping moisture from the corner of a blue eye.

The puppet pointed at the bundle she'd left behind, and repeated the phrase he'd just spoken. It was clearly a question, and she bit her bottom lip and tried to answer.

"Wet earth, for Red Cloud friends" Hah! That was pretty good actually, maybe she was getting a little bit better with all these words. Then she added "and food." making a childish gesture with stubby (and dirty) little fingers at her mouth for emphasis.

"Wet earth, un?" Deidara questioned, and reached into a bag at his side to pull out a handful of the same mushy gray substance she'd left for him.

"Clay?" He asked, providing her the correct word. She repeated it quietly, attempting to commit it to memory.

"Clay." she affirmed for him with another nod.

The puppet shifted forward again and she skittered backwards another few steps, crouching low to place chakra laden palms flat on the ground. If she needed to escape quickly, four points of contact with the ground would provide more momentum to fling herself into the high branches with. If Nanami had fur it would be standing on end.

"No harm is clay" she hissed at them. "For friend of Oceans- Raven Eyes too" She added the last part, because Kisame always came with Itachi she knew. (It was a nonsensical statement, but this wouldn't occur to her until later)

They didn't look convinced.

The second the puppets tail rose into the air she was already off, pushing herself high into the branches above them. She smothered her chakra into nothing. Something whistled past her but she was already grasping with hands and feet, flying through the trees of the forest that was her home.

She left Burning Earth and False Peices far behind. Not that they really attempted to follow, which she was grateful for.

Nanami scoffed. What a bunch of jerks.


	5. Beating Hearts, Loud Blood

Chapter Five: Beating Hearts, Loud Blood

"Sometimes," Said Pooh, "The smallest of things take up the most room in your heart."

* * *

It occurred to her some days later that the Akatsuki hideout was in river country, a distant memory she pulled from her past life. It was getting easier to do that the more often she needed them. (She didn't think about how she'd already lost so many other pieces of that life. She would take what she could get.)

Sometimes in the weeks and months of silence she forgot she wasn't really just a five year old little girl living in the wilds. (The silence ate at her, mixing up who she is- who she used to be. It smothered her humanity and replaced it with something more feral, Nanami didn't live in the wilds, she is the wilds.)

She hoped this realization meant she would get to see Oceans soon. Maybe even Raven Eyes, she liked Raven Eyes alright, he was much nicer on her senses than False Pieces and Burning Earth (even if Burning Earth was nice to look at)

Her suspicions were mostly confirmed when she came across a new pair of the Red Clouds, because once is chance, twice is coincidence, and three times is a pattern. Nanami knew this.

She did have something she felt would be a good gift for one of these men, but the other she firmly refused to go anywhere near. The sunlight glinting off his three pronged scythe only reaffirming her fears of him.

He would kill her. There would be no need for rhyme or reason. He would do it because he wanted to see what her intestines looked like, or what her blood would smell like, or some other such nonsense. (A part of her saw this, and the beast in her acknowledged the beast in him) So she followed behind, her presence as soft as a breeze, her chakra mimicking that of a birds as she flitted in the treetops behind them.

The loud one stank like blood, it made her nose scrunch in distaste, but he said a lot of words; a constant flowing stream of things with a lit that made him sound whinny. (she tried to remember the words she could confirm with their proper meaning- he was good for that at least.) His companion's only sound was to heave put upon sighs, and make clipped comments she was sure were demands for silence.

He was the one she would give her gift to this time. Especially now that she knew they shared these woods with her. (Because something about her really was a child, and she craved to stave away the loneliness.)

Her opportunity came when Loud Blood wandered off far enough to provide her a few minutes. She hoped somewhere within her that he was taking a damn bath.

The man made from threads and stitches waited, his eyes were closed and his arms folded across his front. He stood silently, patiently leaning against a tree. (Kakuzu had been one of her favorite characters she remembered)

She imagined you'd have to have a certain amount of patience to deal with Loud Blood.

"Excuse me." She called politely from a high branch. She didn't want to drop to the ground in case he decided she'd look better as a corpse. Just incase.

His shoulders tensed, signaling to her that her mimicry of small creatures had been successful. His eyes cracked open revealing red sclera and acid green irises. Her breath caught for a moment, because wow- it was actually quite beautiful. (in the way a venomous snake was beautiful)

His folded arms dropped to his sides, his eyes looking up at her crouched form braced against the tree branch on all fours.

"Red Cloud friend of Oceans and Raven Eyes" she called to him. His impassive face didn't change as he continued to watch her. She gripped the little bag between her fingers tighter for a moment; adjusting it between the branch and her palm, before tossing it out gently. His hand snatched it out of the air faster than she could see.

She smiled to him; she liked him. Not as much as Oceans, but he felt… nice. Like beating hearts and rushing waterfalls.

"Gift." She said simply. His fingers rolled around the bag, making the coins inside clink together. His eyes narrowed on her for a moment, before he nodded his acceptance. Her smile widened.

"Like you." She told him. "More another time." Because the coins were relatively easy to come by. The ravens and the magpies collected them for their nests.

For now though, her eyes sweeping towards Loud Blood's quickly approaching form, she'd have to take her leave.

She stuffed her nose into the crook of her arm and narrowed her eyes in distaste. "Stinks." She told Beating Hearts.

"Yes." He agreed following her line of sight. And with that she shifted away, she needed to check on the deer herds anyways.

* * *

She saw Beating Hearts again a month later, (it had been a quiet, solitary month) near one of the rivers she preferred to collect perch from. Loud Blood didn't wander off this time, but she was pleased with this gift she'd managed to spirit away from a group of bandits (they were stupid men, with little chakra to sense at all) It was a heavy bag, and it included rolled notes of paper she knew would have value to him as well.

Nanami was eager to present it to him.

So she'd chance it.

Plus… she had spent the time to make that other thing, even if she was still positive Loud Blood would kill her given the chance, he was still Oceans friend. That had to mean something right?

Loud Blood sat with folded legs on a rock overlooking the slowly flowing water, his scythe leaning against one of his shoulders. He hunched around it like it was a beloved item. She thought for him it probably was. He was murmuring words she didn't know in a strange cadence. Like a quiet prayer.

She considered how to approach for a moment, the trees didn't come close enough to the river for her to remain in one and gain Beating Heart's attention. She'd have to come from the ground… which made her nervous.

Still… the heavy leather bag tucked into her ragged kimono reminded her of why she was here. She slid barefeet across flat river stones, nervous eyes flicked back and forth between the one she liked and the one that stank.

She approached as close to Beating Hearts as she could get, putting him between her and Loud Blood; she crouched low like the beast she was. He'd claimed a spot overlooking the river not far from his partner, looking for all the world like he was asleep standing up.

"Excuse me." She called to him. His relaxed form tensed similarly to the way it had when she'd first approached him. He didn't bother opening his eyes this time and simply held out his hand to her, palm up and ready to receive.

She smiled, she definitely liked him. (He was accepting. non-violent.)

She scrambled towards his position another two steps before a screeching cry broke between them.

" _Jissai no mono to fakku?!"_ Loud Blood's voice was so grating, but the sound of his attention made fear shiver down her spine. She shifted closer to Beating Hearts keeping a wary eye on the bare chested man who was pointing an accusing finger at her, he was standing now, taking aggressive steps towards her.

She needed to do this quickly, (she was in this position too often with the Akatsuki) Her gaze slid back to Beating Hearts who had his eyes open now, watching her expectantly.

"Another time now." She told him, and he grunted at her, fingers twitching. (eagerly?) She pulled the bundle from her clothing, relinquishing her crouched stance enough to reach up and place the bag into his waiting hand.

He held it low to her accommodatingly. This bag was much, much heavier than the last and a pleased look flashed across his eyes.

"Good girl." He rumbled.

The praise had her lips parting in a rush of unexpected pleasure. A heated breath escaped her, and she realized she would do anything to hear him say that again.

It felt good to have a purpose, to be wanted. Even if it was as simple as collecting these useless things.

She stared up at him for a moment, before Hidan's voice had her dropping back down onto her palms and pushing off backwards, just in time to avoid his scythe plunging into the stone she'd been standing on.

"Hidan." Beating Hearts bit out at his partner. " _Anata wa kanojo o korosu shinai koto ga arimasu."_ She didn't know what he was saying but it sounded like a reprimand to her, she continued to back up quickly towards the treeline, chakra assisting her movements.

She hissed at him angrily between clenched teeth, but she had one more thing to give before she left.

Nanami pulled the twine from around her neck, watching as Loud Blood screeched angrily at Beating Hearts with his back turned to her.

"Hidan!" She called, naming him as Beating Hearts had. The man swung around to face her in an aggressive movement to fast for her to follow, his partners acid green eyes sliding back to watch her, a warning in his gaze.

She bit the inside of her cheek and chucked the necklace as hard as she could at him. It bounced off his chest harmlessly and piled onto the ground at his feet.

No one said anything for a long moment as both the men took in the sight of a circle made from carved darkwood with an inlaid triangle she'd knitted from red vines. Nanami thought the colors might appeal to him.

"Jashin-sama" He breathed, and the Akatsuki looked up to find the little girl was long gone.

* * *

They sat around the table, and for a long, blissful minute no one said anything.

On it's surface they had compiled a wicker mat piled with clean white clay, dried rabbit strips, some kind of possibly edible nuts, two bags of coins amounting to a decently large amount of cash, a single white feather, and a handmade necklace in the shape of Hidan's ridiculous god talisman.

"It's possible she's been watching us for a while, she seems talented at hiding her chakra signature." Itachi offered first.

Kisame shook his head. "She's so young, what's the point of all of this." He made a sweeping gesture at the items.

Deidara chuckled "When she approached us, un, I got the impression she was just going to leave the clay and go. She said it was a gift- because I was a friend of yours. Said it was because she loved you. Un." He told Kisame laughingly.

"She called us 'Red Cloud Friends'" Sasori added in a tone that conveyed how stupid they all thought that sounded.

"She has approached me twice." Kakuzu grudgingly said, which earned him a sharp look from his partner. "The first time she told me it was because I was acquainted with 'Oceans' and 'Raven Eyes'. She seemed prepared, she already had the money on her both times." No one missed the pleased note in his tone at the last part.

"Her language skills are poor, but I suppose I must be 'Raven Eyes' and that makes you 'Oceans'." Itachi mused to Kisame. The shark man scoffed.

"Again, what's the point."

"She seems to respond excessively well to praise." Kakuzu informed them. "Perhaps she is just a young child looking for acknowledgement."

"You just like that she brings you cash. Besides that doesn't explain shit about how she knew what each of us would like! I mean- seriously? She brought me the fucking holy symbol of Jashin-sama how the fucking hell-?" Kakuzu cut off his whining with an elbow into the man's ribs.

He wheezed. No one batted an eye.

"He makes a good point though." Sasori said. Quiet descended on them again.

"She's like, fucking five." Hidan said after a minute.

"I suspect she lives in the woods around this area. She tends to crouch, using chakra in both her hands and feet to move around. What few words she does know seem to have a water country lit to it." Itachi cataloged what few facts he did know out loud.

"We don't even fucking know her name, seriously." Hidan complained. A beat of silence and then-

"It's Nanami." Deidara said gaining everyone's attention. "She spoke about herself in the third person once, un."

"In any case." Zetsu's soft voice spoke for the first time. "Leader-sama wants you all to try and glean more information from the child before we decide if we should kill her, find out why she seems to know Deidara's weapon of choice if she's never seen him use it. Kakuzu's money hobby. Why she knows the sign of Hidan's idol."

"It's not a fucking idol you prick that's fucking blasphemy-" Kakuzu elbowed him again, harder this time.

"We won't be able to get much if she can't speak." Kisame pointed out.

"Rectify that." Zetsu told him. All eyes turned to Itachi expectantly, his face was impassive but he let out a small put upon sigh that the other took as acceptance.


	6. I know (I Wish I Didn't)

Chapter Six: I Know (I Wish I Didn't)

"Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't." -Bill Nye

* * *

Nanami was tired, her eyes drooped as she curled farther into the doe at her side. The creatures warmth and the rise and fall of its soft breathing was comforting. She loved the herd, after several times of nuding back their lost fowl with gentle encouragement from her chakra they had begun to accept her presence. It certainly didn't hurt that when she was around the predators seemed to avoid them.

She was drifting softly, her limbs aching pleasantly from a long day- and then from nowhere there was the vast ocean sweeping forth to smother the signal of wildlife around her. She jolted up, startling the doe she'd been dozing with. An elated breath escaped her- she'd been waiting so long. She liked some of the others okay but they weren't Kisame, only he held the ocean inside him. (he held her death, her life.)

She didn't know how he did that. (How do you hide the ocean?)

But there he was.

Her heart soared into her throat, tight with anticipation and excitement. She quickly made her way to a hovel beneath one of the many trees she used as a cache. The hovel wasn't far, but Kisame was a ways away.

She gathered what she wanted with her small, chubby hands. She was sure Raven Eyes would be there too, and she'd gathered words from a town she'd ventured to a week before as his gift. (she had needed new clothing, the words she'd taken were an accident, but she knew he'd be interested.)

Nanami had spent more time than she would have liked around the edges of that town, venturing close to some of the children just so she could learn more words for her Red Clouds. She thought she knew a decent amount now. Maybe.

It was dark, and the leaves of the trees above her provided only filtered moonlight to see by. She didn't usually travel this late at night, but Nanami was unsure if she would have another opportunity to catch him. He wasn't traveling quickly, but waiting till dawn wasn't an option, she was sure she would lose him.

So she blended her own swirl of life into the life of the forest around her like she always did, a seamless embrace- just to be safe.

Nanami became invisible, flitting across the ground and through trees with confident steps that barely touched the soft earth in her flight.

She clutched her gift tight to her chest. She'd collected it with painstaking effort, just incase her ocean came back.

She was glad she had. (She was glad he did)

It was some time later, and a decent amount of travel that she felt she was close enough to slow her approach. This place was not so far that she was unfamiliar with it, these woods were her home after all, but she preferred stealth to speed in this instance. The moon had risen high, and she shifted her bundle to one arm so she could rub tiredly at a squinted eye. She bit back a yawn.

Her calloused barefeet didn't make a sound as she stepped across the soft mulchy earth. Despite her best efforts to leave her gift and go unseen (she didn't want to disturb them, it was late after all) a kunai whizzed by her cheek, thunking hard into the tree at her side. It was only her sense of self preservation that told her to move that inch to the left.

Nanami froze, eyes seeking in the din. Her senses told her that Kisame was here, (Itachi too) but that was one thing. Seeing was another. There was no camp fire here, but despite this and the low light, she saw a figure shift, her ears strained; picking up the rustling of cloth.

A flash of red, and the shape of a cloud. She eased somewhat, slightly reassured.

"Please excuse me" she whispered into the shadows, knowing they would hear. She slid slowly forward on the tips of her toes into the circular space that could count as a modest clearing between trees.

"For sharks in red dawns" She told them quietly her strange wording mish-mashing together in a terrible attempt at politeness. She laid the bundle on the ground and turned slowly, hands held open at her sides so they didn't think she was trying anything funny. If they were opposed to her being here, she would have to give her gift of words to Raven Eyes later. She felt a pang of disappointment, but it was for the best.

It was late, and she was tired. She knew there was a comfortable hole beneath an evergreen not too far from here. She'd dug it a long time ago but Nanami didn't think it was so long that another beast might have taken up residence.

A warm handed landed gently on her shoulder.

She flinched violently. (No one had touched her in a very, very long time.)

Her eyes snapped up to meet dark ones. Raven Eyes.

"I- I am, sorry" she told him hesitantly, quietly into the space between them. His hand dropped back to his side. Her gaze skittered away, looking for the silver ones she knew were here somewhere.

" _Dono yō ni watashitachi o mitsukeru nodesu ka?"_ Raven Eyes asked in that accent she couldn't ever quite figure out. Besides, that was entirely too many words.

Wordlessly, she shook her head. She added a soft shrug for good measure.

His eyes narrowed on her, and he gently reached out once more (his fingers were surprisingly delicate and feminine) he touched her shoulder again, and even knowing it was coming it still felt very jarring on her skin.

She flinched again.

He pretended not to notice, and gently turned her back toward the clearing. He pushed her forward lightly.

She gave him a confused look, and hesitantly asked, "You want I here? Stay?" She couldn't see his face from her vantage point, but she got the impression he was frowning.

"Do you want me to stay" he clearly corrected. She repeated the words under her breath twice, and he seemed appeased by her efforts to learn.

He pushed her down into a sitting position next to her abandoned gift, and she went willingly. She bit the inside of her cheek in another effort not to yawn.

But in the next moment, her tired thoughts lay forgotten when her Oceans stepped before her, folding his large bulk onto the ground on the other side of her gift to him.

Raven Eyes made himself comfortable as well.

"You," Kisame said in the water country lit she was more accustomed to, "find us." He gestured at himself and Itachi.

She nodded, "Yes."

His silver eyes flashed in the glowing moonlight. "How?"

"How do you find us?" Itachi repeated the exact words he had spoken before, and she made the quick effort to try and repeat it correctly.

Although, the question confused her. (His ocean was massive, how could she not find it?)

She tilted her head to one side, crow feathers and wooden beads woven into braids fell heavily across her shoulder. She considered the question, and then what answer she might give.

"I feel." She told them. "I…" She hesitated, before reaching out a slow moving hand to touch a wisp of Itachi's ambient chakra. (He sat closer) It swirled over her fingers, weaving between them like steam.

"See?" She offered, attempting to show them. She wasn't sure how to say touch. The look on their faces said they didn't understand what she was trying to say.

She made a frustrated noise.

"I…" She tried again, making a motion of touching the back of her hand, and then her cheek, and then the dirt in front of her.

" _Tatchi_." Kisame offered, sounding unsure. She agreed with the tone of his voice; she was also unsure, but then he reached for her, the distance between them suddenly nothing at all and his large hand was enveloping over her small, child's hand.

She didn't flinch this time, she knew the ocean's feel better than most.

"Touch." He said again. She nodded this time, he withdrew and she reiterated her earlier point.

"I touch chakra. To follow. Easy to feel." she added the word that she knew from her past life, but had never said out loud. "Oceans is… deep- large? stretch far." She added, because Kisame's chakra was ridiculously easy to find.

Two pairs of blank eyes watched her without expression.

"You touch chakra." Raven Eyes repeated her words, with an inflection like it was a crazy thing to say. Had she said it wrong? She was pretty tired...

Nanami's brow furrowed, and she reached out again to twine her fingers through the Uchiha's ambient chakra once more.

"Yes, see?" She tried to show them, giving it a gentle tug this time, the kind of thing she might do to herd a rabbit towards a trap or guide one of the doe's back to the main herd.

He went ridged and she snached her hand back quickly, worried she had offended him. "I'm sorry!" she blurted, scooting away from him by a couple of inches.

His dark eyes made contact with Kisame's silver ones, and a strange look passed between the two of them.

"Your gifts," Raven Eyes changed the subject. She nodded encouragingly, her gaze resting on the bundle for a moment before meeting Itachi's intense ones.

"Many gifts, Oceans and Raven Eyes have many friends." She told him. His brow furrowed, and she worried she wasn't making any sense again, but he plowed on.

"You know what we _tanoshimimasu"_ Nanami stared at him blankly for a moment.

"What we like?" He tried a different word, one she comprehended. Across from them she could feel Ocean's gaze, and she chewed her words carefully, fearful of upsetting him.

"Yes" she settled simply, and smiled for Raven Eyes. Something sparked in the dark depths of his gaze, for a moment she worried he would activate his sharingan but after a solid moment when they remained normal she relaxed.

"How?" He questioned. Her smile drooped a little. That was a strange thing to ask, how did she know what they liked? She didn't know how to answer that or why they would even care. Did they not like the gifts?

"Nanami knows." She said simply with a shrug, hoping it would be enough. Kisame made a frustrated noise then, and she knew it wasn't.

"Why me?" Oceans interrupted suddenly.

Aa, she wasn't sure how to answer that either. She chewed her lip looking him over. He seemed confused, but as if he genuinely would like to know why she'd chosen him. (She couldn't very well tell him he'd been her joy, her freedom, her death.)

" _Kobanzame,_ " She began, offering the name of the fish an old lady had given her once long ago. "Sharks need _Kobanzame_ , and Nanami loves the water."

"What?" Itachi asked sounding unsure. He looked to Kisame for the answer, which he seemed to have as a humored sort of understanding passed through his eyes.

"Suckerfish, they have a _Kyōsei kankei_ with sharks." and Nanami nodded although she didn't know the words- but she knew that suckerfish and sharks lived in the oceans together in symbiosis. Assisting one another.

She would like to have that sort of thing with Oceans.

Itachi huffed. (She thought maybe that was the equivalent of a laugh for him)

"Do you know my name?" Raven Eyes changed the subject again just as quickly as Kisame had with his question.

"Raven Eyes." She supplied, because wasn't that obvious too? He shifted at her side, pulling the front of his collar down so she could see more of his face in the glowing moonlight.

"My real name" He supplied. She froze, eyes sweeping over to Kisame for a moment. She searched his impassive face, finding nothing.

"This would make Oceans happy?" she asked him, and he looked uncomfortable under her regard, but nodded slowly nontheless.

"Then yes. Nanami knows." She answered quietly in a resigned kind of way.

She looked up at Raven Eyes from under her lashes feeling hesitant and a little fearful.

"Name me." He said, voice dropping an octave. She sighed.

"Uchiha Itachi." she pointed to Ocean. "Hoshigaki Kisame."

Itachi's hand shot out grasping her upper arm in a punishing grip. She squeaked loudly tears gathering in her eyes at the sudden turn. Fear slithered down her back, choking her in its cloying embrace. (She was going to die here, this was a mistake)

"I'm sorry!" She cried chakra unconsciously gathering in her palms as she fruitlessly attempted to remove the offending appendance. (She firmly decided she did not enjoy Itachi's touch.)

"The others? Red Cloud Friends?" He asked, his tone threatening as he used the silly name she called them in her desire to avoid outright saying Akatsuki. That seemed like a lost cause now.

Ah, curse her and her desire to see Kisame pleased with her.

"I'm sorry," She said again, tears tracking wetly down her cheeks. "Nanami knows."

"Names." Itachi demanded squeezing tighter and she looked imploringly over at Kisame, who watched Itachi with a frown but nothing to say.

She sobbed. "Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara, Sasori," a wet gasp "Tobi, Konan, Zetsu, Nagato" She paused thinking clearly enough to add, "Orochimaru?" It came out like a question, because she had no idea if he was still in Akatsuki or not. Then again she had added Tobi's name and he wasn't an official member until Sasori was dead. (Her mind was going to crack even more if this continued. She had only wanted to see Oceans pleased.)

"I'm sorry." She cried again, softer this time. "Nanami knows."

She wished she didn't.

Itachi let her go and she immediately shifted away from him and rubbed soothing chakra into what she was sure was going to be a nasty bruise later.

"How?" He asked, and his eyes were red then, and spinning. She looked down and away quickly, avoiding. Had she been looking she would of seen his eyes narrow.

"Nanami born knowing."

Silence.

"Who is Nagato?" Kisame asked then and she squeezed her eyes shut, more tears leaking down her face. She felt so hurt, her chest ached. She couldn't look at him.

"Leader-sama." She answered, she was too far in to leave now.

"Who is Tobi?" Itachi's voice came from her side. She hunched forward.

"Uchiha Madara is a lie."

More silence.

"Who." He pressed, so she did look up meeting his spinned red tomoe with a flinch.

"Uchiha Itachi not meaning to know." She tried to deflect, but when his chakra spiked and she felt the violence in it she caved.

"Uchiha Obito."

"My _itoko?"_ Itachi murmured to himself, sharingan swirling into nothing. He shared a look with Kisame, who nodded silently at some unspoken question.

"I go now, please." She made to stand but found Kisame gripping her wrist in a motion she didn't even see. His silver eyes bore into hers, the ocean within him making itself known again. It smothered Itachi's smaller signature cresting over her skin in a familiar embrace. She had died once in that embrace. She thought maybe she could still smell the salt and brine in her hair sometimes.

"I'm sorry" He told her softly, and it sounded like it took a lot out of him to say that. "Please stay." She relaxed at his soft voice, his chakra hushing in her ears. So when he pulled her forward into his lap she went.

She was so tired. His cloak was warm. (she was only a child)

His large hand ran gently over her hair and she curled her own into a red print cloud.

"You did well." He praised, and she wished she thought so too.

She watched as Itachi pulled the bundle between them apart,(absently, the hair stroking was very lulling.) revealing the forehead protector she'd gone to absolutely ridiculous efforts to retrieve. She hated that fucking island, but she thought Kisame would be pleased by it and when she'd heard the words she bore for Itachi she went to the lengths needed to retrieve it.

The fabric was long, longer than anyone else's that she knew. A deep slash played across the mist symbol emblazoned proudly in the middle.

The petting stilled for a moment.

"Who's is this?" Itachi asked, and she answered him hesitantly.

"Momochi Zabuza." A sad sigh. She had always disliked that he had died. "Had meant to die, sad though, Demon of the Mist not bad man."

Silence met her declaration, but the petting resumed.

"Raven Eyes gift is words." She paused, and then "More words." She hissed- because he was a jerk.

There was an expectant silence, and the only reason she decided to fill it was because Kisame was petting her, and it was nice and he was warm and it made her feel good.

Even though Itachi was a jerk.

She reached for a moment, remembering what she needed to say and the right way to say it.

"Raven Eyes has a brother, he's a good boy." She flicked her eyes up from her comfortable position tucked into Kisame's lap to meet Itachi's stoney ones. If anything he looked even blanker than normal.

"Has sharingan now." Because she knew this was true, even if she hadn't witnessed it. She curled her face into Kisame's cloak. She entertained the thought for a moment of telling him about Orochimaru's plot to take him, but dismissed it. He got all he was going to get out of her tonight.

She was tired. She told them so, and the quiet reigned long enough to find her sleep inside the ocean's embrace.


	7. Beneath the Earth

Chapter Seven: Beneath the Earth

"Where you movin'?" I said, "On to better things."

* * *

"What do you think?" Kisame asked quietly after the little girl's breathing had evened out. She was curled into his lap, her entire body fitting between his folded legs. He moved a feather adorned braid away from her mouth absently, curling it behind a little ear.

"She's a powerful sensor." Itachi said aloud, adding this new information to his mental repertoire of what they knew about the child.

"And she knows too much to be a spy." He added, and Kisame knew that look on his face, and that tone of voice. He was thinking too hard.

Probably distracted by the tidbit of news about his brother.

He had to admit, as his eyes wandered to the forehead protector on the ground, he was a bit distracted himself.

So Momochi was dead… that was… disappointing.

Itachi absently pulled the tie from his hair, and redid it, pulling the flyaways back in place and away from his eyes.

"We will have to take her back to base." He said then, a frown tugging at the corner of his lips.

"She might not live through it." He added, a slight warning in his tone as he watched his partner absently pet at the child's hair.

Kisame grunted, but said nothing.

* * *

She awoke before dawn, a soft shifting of unconscious to consciousness. There was fabric piled around her, and she was warm swimming in its voluminous depths. She sat up, the cloak sliding away from her little shoulders.

She felt Raven Eyes shift to crouch in front of her. She rubbed a bleary eye and blinked away sleep to meet his gaze.

"Raven Eyes?" She murmured, it was quiet. The morning birds were still asleep.

"Come with me." He said simply, a soft request. She looked around for a moment, noting that Raven Eyes still wore his cloak but Oceans was missing. She couldn't feel his chakra at all.

"Oceans wants this?" She asked hesitantly. The slender man before her gave a nod of confirmation. She bit her lip, considering. If she refused, they'd probably just kill her and call it a day. But if she accepted she would get to see Oceans again. (Somewhere in her, she was aware that they knew this would be her motivation. His absence the carrot on a stick.)

"Alright." She agreed, and crawled out from beneath her makeshift bedding.

Itachi retrieved the cloak with plucking fingers, he turned and began to walk towards the east. She followed after a moment, her shorter legs taking three steps for one of his.

He didn't move very quickly, a slow loping grace that she found accommodating. They traveled until the sun had crested the horizon, and the dew on the grass reflecting the red and orange light of dawn.

Raven Eyes came to a halt in an area just past where her senses usually stretched, there was an oddly large amount of chakra pooled on the ground here, it shimmered; steaming up lightly and cresting back down like water vapor.

It was pretty to watch.

"Before we go," Itachi said gaining her attention. He looked and sounded pretty serious, despite his attempt at simple words. "Words said in the dark are…" he paused. " _himitsu"_ he tried and she shook her head in the negative. He pulled down the front of his cloak so she could see his face and brought his other hand to his lips. He made a 'hush' gesture with one finger.

She nodded in understanding. She wouldn't repeat anything said last night.

"Good." He said simply.

Raven Eyes spiked his chakra, and she watched as his eyes spun red for a second- and he blinked and it was gone.

"Nanami, come." She blinked, the pool of chakra on the ground had dispersed to reveal a stone staircase that descended into the ground. An illusion of some kind? (genjutsu)

She trotted quickly to follow, the stone was cold on her feet, and she resisted the strong urge to drop onto her hands for four points of contact.

She felt unsafe. Raven Eyes hadn't exactly been the nicest to her last night. (She was still angry with him)

The light of day faded behind them as they descended, and despite being miffed with Raven Eyes she found herself shifting closer to his bulk, her fingers brushing along the loose fabric of his cloak for comfort. She didn't allow herself to cling but this much would be enough.

He looked down at her behind his high collar with a perplexed expression, and she gave him a shaky smile.

They stepped off of the last step onto a flat stone floor, and Raven Eyes pushed the door before them open, reaching down with gentle finger tips to push her inside. She stiffed at the contact, still finding his skin on hers unpleasant, but she went without a fuss.

The room inside was large, brightly lit with what she recognized as electric lamps, although it was her first time seeing them as Nanami. There was a puff of warm air as she stepped inside.

She noticed the soft looking furniture scattered around. A long couch, a low table, a large square rug that looked like it might be sporting blood stains.

There was a small kitchenette nearer to the table on her left that curved behind a dividing wall and out of sight.

Against the far wall were more doors, but she didn't have long to ponder this as the chakra signatures and bodies in the room held her attention. Itachi pushed her farther into the room as he shut the door behind him with a click.

"Hello" She greeted the men softly, feeling unnerved.

There was the unpleasant sound of clicking puppet pieces in the far corner, hunched forward and wrapped in red could print fabric. Bright blue eyes full of mirth framed by blond hair lounged on the couch, arms dangling over its back to face her.

Loud Blood who was not to be ignored was huffing and muttering things she was sure would be obscene if she could understand (she needed to get him to teach her those words.) from a very undignified sprawl on the floor, half laying across the table with his scythe on his back.

Her eyes alighted on Beating Hearts, who stood with arms folded at the opposite corner of the couch that Burning Earth had claimed, leaning slightly into its back.

She stepped towards him, ready to leave Raven Eyes behind but paused when his hand landed on her shoulder (again) she tensed shooting him a disgruntled look over her shoulder.

His face remained impassive.

Burning Earth burst out laughing "I don't think she likes you Itachi, un."

"Hn." was all he had to say, but his eyes held hers, and within them was a warning.

"Let's just kill the _baita."_ Loud Blood added his two cents, his hand coming up to rest lovingly on the handle of his scythe.

"Shut up Hidan." Beating Hearts sighed.

" _Kusokurae_ Kakuzu, _Nanda yo omae-wa? Honto."_ came his overly aggressive and rapid fire reply. Nanami shifted away from him immediately, staring as his tirade was completely ignored. She got the feeling this was normal here.

Itachi pushed her forward again, nudging her towards an Akatsuki-free corner of the room. She went with one last look to Beating Hearts.

Out of everyone here she'd prefer him but it looked like she wasn't getting much of a choice right now. Besides, he was the closest to Loud Blood, and that guy was a fucking creep.

"Where is Oceans?" She asked Raven Eyes, her voice wavered childishly, exposing how uncomfortable she felt. He paused in his response, and Burning Earth found that was a good moment to interject.

"If you're a good girl you can see him later, un." He looked like he was enjoying this way too much. She liked it when Beating Hearts had said it (it had meant something then) but Burning Earth just made it sound disgusting.

"Pig." she hissed under her breath. (inside she broke a little, carrot on a stick confirmed)

Burning Earth just laughed.


	8. I Dreamed I Was Alive

Chapter Eight: I Dreamed I Was Alive

"We're all in the same game, just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils."

* * *

She shifted on the couch. It was dark in the large room, and she was alone. (something she felt grateful for, for once- considering her options for company.) The couch smelled okay, she dimly registered as stuffed her face into the crevice where the back met the cushions. It smelled kind of like... a weird mixture of the Red Clouds.

Her nose scrunched then, because it also kind of smelled like blood. (Surely that was Hidan's fault) Nanami might be a wild beast but she appreciated smelling clean, even if she understood the necessity of a little blood sometimes.

"Echk." She informed the cushion of her displeasure.

She couldn't sleep here. This sucked. She rolled over again to face the gaping openness of the room.

Nope, that was worse. She pulled the blanket Raven Eyes had given her over her head in an attempt to ignore how large the room was.

She missed the herd. Soft breathing bodies surrounding her that were sensitive to even the subtlest of sounds. Deer were like hyper aware sleeping buddies who were always on watch and didn't mind a little cuddling.

This place was cold. And open, way to open. If she had to be alone she'd be sleeping beneath the roots of a tree, surrounded on all sides by soft earth. She grumbled quietly to herself and slid off the couch like a snake off a branch. She crawled on all fours in the dark, silently with muted chakra until she was laying on her belly underneath the low table.

This was a little better.

She curled her legs in tighter to her body, and rolled onto her back while attempting to not think about the openings on all sides.

She sighed. Maybe a comfortable place was going to be impossible here.

She blinked up at the flat wooden surface above her head in discomfort. She rolled over again, taking the blanket with her. Another blink into the dark.

Oh, of course. Why didn't she think of that sooner?

Nanami slunk her way silently into the kitchen and pulled open the first cabinet door she thought she could fit inside.

It was blissfully empty, not too tight a fit, and best of all it was enclosed on all sides.

She crawled inside, avoiding the U pipe from the sink drain and let out a contented sigh as the door shut behind her silently.

Much better.

* * *

Someone was screaming.

Probably Loud Blood. That guy had no sense of common decency while other people were trying to sleep.

She curled tighter into her blanket and shoved her face farther into the crook of her arm.

A loud bang, followed by a clatter and more yelling.

More voices.

What's with these people?

A muted thump and then blissful silence once again. She sighed in relief. Much better.

She was hovering on the cusp of returning that that dream she been having...

Her hands were morphing into paws, a gentle shifting from human to animal that she found pleasant and gratifying. Like maybe now her outsides matched her insides. She flexed claws into the dirt, digging little furrows with their length. Her body shook, fur erupting from her spine and down her arms and legs, a wet crunching snap and her limbs changed shape.

She stepped forward, dried leaves crunching beneath her new form, chakra blazing, filling her with strength and speed. She was running, fast padded feet swiftly through the underbrush. There was no urgency, just the pure joy in the run itself. She leapt over a river, powerful muscles coiling and springing, the air whipping past her as she cried her joy into the night.

Nanami who wasn't quite Nanami anymore- was free.

Others were nipping at her tail playfully, joining the chase. Her brother maybe, a flash of blond fur and a grinning maw full of sharp predators teeth and a tongue that lolled to the side.

It was a wolfish grin on the face of her kin (Her brother was home, he had returned to her!) and excitement soared into her throat as-

Squeaking hinges and then someone was touching her shoulder.

Nanami jerked back hard enough to slam her head on the back of the cabinet and _yowled._

The hand withdrew.

"Nanami."

Baby teeth bared, snapping together with a harsh clack that fit together in a jagged snarl half ready to sink her canines into flesh.

She slowly registered the crouching form of Raven Eyes as he watched her patiently regain her senses. Dark eyes full of something she didn't understand.

She blinked, and pulled chakra laden fingers out the the wood she'd been sinking them into.

Right. She was in an underground place full of Red Clouds, sleeping beneath a kitchen sink. She allowed herself a moment to mourn that her dream was just that, a dream.

An exhale. "Raven Eyes, Nanami is sorry." Not that he would of let her bite him, but it was the thought that counted. (she might of liked to though)

He nodded, as if this was a perfectly acceptable occurrence and stepped back so she could come out.

She did slowly, feet first on all fours; feeling edgy, a little disoriented and tired.

Her teeth fit together with another snap as she rose off her hands and followed Raven Eyes into the main room.

Loud Blood lay on the floor in a heap, seemingly unconscious. Huh, that explains that.

Beating Hearts was righting the table from its upturned position. His acid green eyes slid to her bleary eyed from, registering her presence with a blank face.

"I see you found her." He commented in an offhand kind of way to Raven Eyes, who nodded.

"What!" A cry from behind one of the doors lining the back wall, and then Burning Earth was there too, streaming too many words for her to follow along with.

It was too early for this.

She slunk over to Beating Hearts, edging past Raven Eyes who let her go. He had made himself comfortable at the table with a pile of papers and a writing utensil. (a pen maybe? She had never seen a pen in this life.)

She sat next to him like the dignified beast child she was, enjoying the ambient heat and the sensation of rushing waterfalls from his chakra. His acid green eyes slid to her for a moment over the top of his high collar in some kind of silent acknowledgement before returning to his papers.

She laid her head down on the table and watched him for a minute. Beating Hearts was not a small man, and sitting next to him made her more aware of it.

She let her mind wander away, absently watching as he appeared to be tallying accounts on paper.

She had always been good at math, once upon a time. Nanami found watching him divide the average and carry the one pretty comforting. It was normal, (Not in this lifetime, but in another distant one.) It appealed to the part of her that was grown.

She thought she would like to help, if she knew the words to offer.

Raven Eyes returned, he joined them at the table across from her and she lifted her head as he slid what appeared to be a thin paper book towards her.

She tilted her head to the side, gaze traveling from the book to Raven Eyes. Beads clacked together and she brushed the feather away from her face.

"I will _oshieru,_ you will listen." he said simply. She frowned, and nodded slowly.

He wanted to teach her more words, maybe? That would be nice… she wasn't sure though.

He nodded, more to himself than to her it seemed. "Good." He flipped the cover open to show square boxes full of pictures. He started at the top, clearly pronouncing each word for an animal, an action, a place. There were many pictures. Nanami followed along diligently, repeating the words and attempting to commit them to memory.

It wasn't easy, and sometimes he would stop and point to a box on a previous page and she would have to tell him what the word was.

She found her eyes wandering longingly to Beating Hearts math tables.

Math was a universal language, one she already knew. Too bad that wasn't on the menu today.


	9. Speak (Be Silent)

Chapter Nine: Speak (Be Silent)

"Children are like wet cement, whatever falls on them makes an impression."

* * *

She didn't know how long she'd been here. A long time. Months maybe.

She hadn't seen the sun or the moon in forever. She missed the herds. Were they getting along okay without her? She hoped the fawn were avoiding the more rapid rivers.

She thought maybe it would be the raining season soon, mushrooms would be blooming around this time. She really liked mushrooms. Maybe she could convince Raven Eyes to bring some back to cook.

A heavy sigh. And there was still no sign of Oceans.

"Whats with you." Nanami perked up, Loud Blood had sat himself next to her at the table. Which was kind of odd, he didn't normally come near her unless it was an attempt to lop off her head, or a limb, or maybe some fingers. He wasn't picky, he'd take what he could get.

He learned after the first few tries that she had some wickedly sharp baby teeth, but somehow she thought he kind of… enjoyed it when she retaliated with tooth and chakra enhanced claw. She certainly wasn't shy about showing him exactly what she thought of his 'near misses.'

He really was a creep.

"Loud Blood." She greeted, and a manic grin split his face because he enjoyed her name for him more than the others enjoyed theirs.

Whats with him today..? He was being… downright civil. Well, as much as a sadomasochist with a penchant for cursing and gore could be.

Actually, speaking of cursing… now seemed a good a time as any.

Nanami sat up off the table and took a quick look around the room. Burning Earth was on the couch, and Raven Eyes had his bedroom door open.

"Loud Blood," She whispered conspiratorially. His eyebrow rose, she heard Burning Earth shift on the couch. She leaned in closer to him, and he tilted his head, purple eyes darkening with curiosity.

"Will you learn me your bad words."

His grin became absolutely feral. (She kind of liked it, when it wasn't brought on by thoughts of her blood on the floor.)

"Teach." He corrected automatically, "And I thought you'd never ask."

Burning Earth lept over the back of the couch, "I want to help, un." His bright blue eyes danced.

She heard a resigned sigh come from Raven Eyes room.

* * *

She crept closer, chakra muted and movements silenced. (She had a natural aptitude for the cat foot, and chakra suppression, Raven Eyes had told her once, only in less words.)

The Red Cloud who had caught her attention today, was one of the ones that… less preferred her attentions. But she was curious, and she wanted to see how he made the chakra… string- things.

They were pretty to watch the few times she'd seen him do it.

Once when he'd been fixing damage to his tail, shifting screws and fitting the pieces back together from inside the scorpion's body, and the other time she'd seen him do it, it had been so mundane it had perked her interest over other possible uses.

He'd used it to turn off the bathroom sink, which Loud Blood had left on after leaving the base with Beating Hearts.

So here she was, sliding around the corner of his open bedroom door, silent as the grave. There was only one bed in this room, as opposed to two like the others had. She supposed when the only part of you that was flesh was your heart you probably didn't need to sleep. (Maybe? Perhaps he just didn't need the bed to sleep)

False Peices, (whom she never said her name for outloud, despite Loud Blood's pestering- because she liked her head on her neck thank you very much.) had removed his cloak, it hung on the far wall the largest piece of cloth any of them wore.

His main scorpion body lay in pieces around him, (this was her first time seeing the red-headed puppet in real life) the large mask-like back leaning against the wall opposite Burning Earth's bed. Spare arms and legs hung on hooks in a sort of creepy display.

Chakra strings; hundreds of them spun out from his chest and fingers as he moved and adjusted his scorpion around.

She wasn't sure what he was doing, fine tuning maybe? Adding additional weapons? But it was very pretty to watch. The strings danced around like hundreds of solid lines of rain twisting and avoiding the others as they worked.

She crept forward another step into the room and found herself dropping flat to the floor as a senbon whistled past her head to thunk into the wall behind her (She got pretty good at dodging when Loud Blood was constantly throwing a massive three pronged scythe at her; sometimes she thought it might be his sick way of contributing to the weird education she was getting here, and other times she thought he just wanted to decapitate her.)

"Oh, it's you." She looked up to find lazy, and heavily lined brown eyes watching her.

"Not meaning to disturb." She told him quietly, eyes skiping past his to watch the chakra strings continue their work without missing a beat. She tilted her head, her braid falling past her shoulder and she sat back on her haunches. (It was sadly without a feather now.)

"Nanami will be quiet." She promised. If he found her lack of reaction to his main puppet body interesting, or curious he didn't show it. (she wondered briefly if he could even have expressions, he was a puppet after all.)

His sharp brown eyes watched her for a moment before he turned back to… whatever it was he'd been paying attention to. (There was a lot going on all at once)

Nanami kept her word, and simply watched him work for a while silently, resisting to urge to step forward and touch one of the strings. That probably wouldn't end well.

"You're going to die here, you know." He said suddenly, in an offhand kind of way like he didn't really care if she did or didn't.

"Probably." She admitted. His kohl lined eyes slanted back towards her. "Why don't you try to leave then?" he said again in that same tone like he couldn't care less.

She chewed her bottom lip, considering her answer.

Nanami was here, because despite the imminent promise of her death, (and lack of option to leave) she actually… kind of, liked the Red Clouds.

Sometimes, they barely tolerated her- looking at her with eyes that promised blood. (The first time Beating Hearts had snapped at her she barely managed not to piss herself in fear, When Beating Hearts got angry he got _angry_.)

But other times... there was laughter, and grins and sharp teeth full of rueful enjoyment. And Nanami… well. Nanami hesitated to return to the wilds now. Because it was quiet out there. No one touched her, or spoke with her or yelled at her.

No, outside it was the great vast emptiness of… nothing. No one. And… and she was waiting. Waiting for the day they let her see Oceans. Waiting for... something.

She needed... she wasn't sure what. (she was just as broken as they were.)

She shrugged. "Nanami likes Red Clouds."

He scoffed and turned back to his work, his curiosity apparently sated with her childish response. It was quiet for a while, only the sound of turning screws and wood clicking together.

"I was alone." She offered after a while, and his intense eyes turned with part of his body to look at her again. His strings didn't pause, he was very good at multitasking.

"I felt Oceans first. Before the other Red Clouds… and he is… deep and vast. He is the sea full of life and... Nanami was without life. I wanted... " She hesitated, eyes skittering away to watch a thick bunch of senbon being loaded into some kind of chakra powered launcher that fit beneath a curved plank of wood.

"Nanami wanted a reason. To be alive." She settled finally. Yea, that sounded pretty good- even if she spoke like an 'uneducated heathen' as Loud Blood liked to put it.

Sasori's eyes held hers, as if gauging the sincerity of her statement. His head tilted slightly, fingers adjusting five strings that were working with an odd tool she didn't recognize.

"It's as good a reason as any, even if you do end up dead." He offered.

She smiled.


	10. I'll Kill You. (If That's What You Want)

Chapter Ten: I'll Kill You (If That's What You Want)

"We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours."

* * *

Nanami pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. It had been steadily getting colder in the great stone room. She supposed that meant it was getting colder outside.

She roughly estimated she'd been here for a little under a year. At least three seasons. The first change had brought in the sharp pungent scent of pollen flowers when the Red Clouds would come home, (and Burning Earth's constant sneezing) and then there had been a stint where Loud Blood did nothing but complain of the heat, and after that they had been tracking in colorful leaves for a while.

She shrugged the blanket higher up on her shoulders and laid her head down on the table. Beating Hearts sat next to her, and she was lulled by his scratching pen and her sense of his heavy waterfall and thrumming chakra.

Raven Eyes had been gone for a while. Even False Pieces and Burning Earth had come and gone at least twice in his single absence.

She was… worried.

She kept this to herself. (The hotel confrontation was sometime after the Naruto bridge wasn't it?)

She rolled her head so that her other cheek was pressed into the wood of the table, and she watched Loud Blood say his morning prayers. He kept it muted, she thought it was probably because every time he got noisy about it Beating Hearts would lop his head off and close it in the bathroom.

And then there had been that one time that he'd tried to cajole her into joining him, " _I'll teach you how"_ He'd said, aiming for her enjoyment in learning. She had almost accepted, feeling curious.

She wasn't sure who it had been but she suspected more than one Red Cloud had helped to severe all those pieces.

There was a pause in the pen scratching and she rolled back over to find acid green eyes flicking between her and Loud Blood. She couldn't see his face as it was covered with his mask today, but she got the impression he was frowning.

He made a strange grunting noise as he considered her.

"Would you like to learn?" He gestured at the accounts.

"Hah! Yea fucking right. She doesn't want to learn your stupid fucking numbers Kakuzu." Hidan spat interrupting her response.

They ignored him.

"Nanami likes numbers." She told him. His brow rose.

"You don't know any fucking numbers, cunt." Hidan interrupted again, only to once more be completely ignored.

"Nanami knows her numbers." She told Beating Hearts, secretly (but not really, because she was an open book) looking forward to the opportunity to be involved with something he enjoyed doing.

He slid a blank piece towards her, and wrote a set of simple numbers down the side with quick confident strokes of his pen.

"Show me." He put the pen down, and she picked it up. It was still warm.

"You would like Nanami to add them?" she clarified, already adding the total up in her head. They were very simple numbers, it wasn't even a challenge.

He grunted.

She wrote the total down beneath the last number.

"What the fuck." Loud Blood said suddenly hovering over her shoulder. She looked up at him with a teasing smile.

"Would Loud Blood like to learn his numbers too?"

He twitched.

She made a leaping dodge backwards just as his scythe impaled the cushion she'd been sitting on, coming within milimeters of Kakuzu's arm.

"Hidan." Beating Hearts warned.

"Get back here you little slut i'm going to split you like a little baby fucking cow!"

Nanami cackled and dodged another high sweep of the three pronged blade. She knew if he really meant to kill her she'd be dead, she kind of got the feeling he enjoyed her teasing sometimes.

She didn't blame him, comparatively, everyone else here was a stiff.

"Hidan." Beating Heart's voice was starting to hit that deep, thrumming pitch right before something excessively violent happened.

Nanami clicked her teeth together as his next swipe split the skin of her arm in a long vertical downward stroke. She hissed at him, resisting the impulse to grab the wound with her free hand.

Oh, Okay. He wanted to play like that today then.

She dropped down onto her hands, blood pooling onto the floor, chakra thrumming into her palms and the balls of her feet.

She leapt- the floor cracking beneath the force of her chakra laden limbs, just as Kakuzu pulled the scythe from his hands.

She hit his chest with enough force to send them both crashing into the floor. His head made contact with a sick crunching sound.

The breath left his lungs, his bright violet eyes shone with an eagerness she was accustomed to seeing when she managed to pull one over on him. Her palm met the underside of his chin in a fierce smacking motion, she pressed up, baring his throat to her. Blood poured from her arm in rivulets across his chin and mouth. (But he never tasted her blood. He never went so far as to begin the ritual, that wasn't the point of his fights with her- she assumed.) His hands came up around her, one set of fingers digging into her wound splitting it open further, tearing jagged edges into the muscle, the other squeezing her throat enough to cut off her air.

It didn't slow her down, (she was used to his violence by now, she gave him what he wanted just like she tried to do for all the other Red Clouds.) her teeth were sinking into his jugular, and blood was pouring into her mouth and Loud Blood was laughing madly which quickly turned into a wet hacking joyful cries. (He liked this too much, but she was willing to play.) His grip on her loosened.

She tore in like a beast that hadn't eaten in days, laughing with him around chunks of wet hot flesh.

She was aware that the entrance door had clicked open, just as Beating Hearts was grasping at the back of her clothing.

"Enough." He told her, (and he always sounded slightly pleased when she managed to kill Hidan.)

She unlocked her jaw and let go as he pulled her off of the white haired man and into the air like a petulant puppy. She let a large chunk of neck fall from her mouth, dribbling blood and saliva after it.

Loud Blood wasn't laughing anymore, his eyes were glassy. He'd be fine in another thirty minutes, and then he'd do that weird thing when he would come find her and graze his fingertips over the new injury he'd given her, with that unnerving smile on his face that was oddly soft like he was proud of her.

(She'd been here too long, maybe.)

There was blood everywhere though, she was soaked in it. It was all over the floor and the rug.

It dripped down her chin to pitter patter into the pool beneath her.

Beating Hearts tossed her towards the bathroom door. She landed awkwardly on her shoulder, her injured arm not wanting to hold her weight and she rolled into the wall hard enough to see stars for a moment.

"Clean up." He grunted at her and she shakily stood; ready to follow instructions, when a voice made her hesitate.

"What the fuck have you been teaching her Itachi?" Her eyes widened and she swung around to see Oceans standing at the open door with Raven Eyes. (Where was his chakra? Why couldn't she feel it? How did he do that?)

A grin split his face showing rows of jagged, brutal looking teeth. (she loved it) His silver eyes drifted from Hidan's corpse over to her, and he looked humored, entertained. Was he pleased? A shiver of delight coursed down her spine even as the throbbing in her arm bordered on excruciatingly painful.

There was a resigned sigh from his partner, but he didn't dignify Ocean's accusation with a response.

Beating Hearts stepped between them, breaking her attention away and he pointed at the bathroom door.

"Go." She did. Beating Hearts didn't like repeating himself.


	11. Torture (Nurture)

Chapter Eleven: Torture (Nurture)

"I love individuals, every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes if you're really looking." – George Carlin

* * *

She came back out, face and hair freshly washed, her old ragged kimono she'd scrubbed in the sink and it was still damp from its cleaning. (She'd need new a new one soon, but she hesitated to ask. She never asked for anything, she preferred it that way.)

Her arm was still sluggishly bleeding, the cut was long- from shoulder to elbow and there were jagged chunks of skin missing in the middle where Loud Blood had plunged his fingers into it.

It flowed down her palm to drip off her finger tips. She held it away from her damp kimono.

Nanami felt nervous and jittery; it had been so long… would Oceans be staying? Her time in the shower had only made her nervousness worse, to much time to think with nothing to distract her but the pain in her arm.

Was she being rewarded for something maybe? Why had he come now after all this time? Where had he been? In rain maybe with Nagato and Konan?

She had so many things she wanted to ask him, so many things she wanted to say- but despite this, as the bathroom door clicked shut behind her and her eyes met the silver ones she'd longed to see, her throat constricted. Her chest felt tight, she felt… awkward, and insecure.

He blinked at her, looking uncomfortable under her scrutiny. The corner of his mouth twitched, showing the sharp tip of one of his teeth.

Her tongue felt thick in her mouth, so she chewed harshly at her bottom lip to make up for it. Her eyes fluttered away. She trapped a whine in her throat, not wanting to be obnoxious.

"Nanami." Beating Hearts called, sounding disgruntled and impatient. (He always sounded that way, his normal vocal range started at disgruntled and went up to enraged and murderous.) She lowered her head and made the worn path to his side in the aftermath of a rough fight with Loud Blood.

She sat, her bangs covering her eyes as she tried to hide her sudden bout of shyness from the occupants in the room.

Beating Hearts pulled her little arm up and placed it on the table before them, black threads pouring gracefully from the seam at his upper arm to pierce through the edges of her wound and sew her back together. They were warm from his body heat, and it felt comforting in its normalcy. (She had grown into a weird standard of normal, but she accepted it without much thought or fuss.)

She bit her lip harder at the sting, with no adrenalin to distract her from the pain this time.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" Loud Blood called her attention, she looked up to find him lounging at the other side of the table like nothing had happened.

Except all the blood he was slathered in. There was that.

Still, he had that pleased, sated look in his eyes and it gave her some sick sense of pride to know she could make him happy.

"Fuck off." She bit out, her curse word sounding immature and a little stupid coming from the lips of a six year old.

"Who let her hang out with Hidan? I thought we were supposed to be teaching her Japanese not gutter talk." Her eyes slid over to look at Oceans, who was leaning over the side of the sofa to watch them.

Another sting in her arm had her tensing and pulling her eyes over to watch as Beating Hearts attempted to do something with the worst of the center of her wound. He made an absent minded tisk noise that sounded agitated.

Loud Blood watched his partner put her back together with a look of pride on his face. (the sick bastard.)

"It couldn't be avoided I'm afraid. She has a thirst for knowledge be it useful or not." Raven Eyes sighed.

"Hey, cursing is very fucking useful."

Nanami nodded in agreement and then winced at a particularly rough tug.

"It's for.." She paused, eyes sweeping to meet purple. What was the word?

"Emphasis," He offered hearing her question without her needing to ask, and she nodded again. Loud Blood knew lots of words.

Mirth danced in silver eyes, and dark raven pools watched her with that sharp knowing edge to them. Like he could look at her and know everything she was. He probably could.

Beating Hearts pulled his threads away, and dropped her previously abandoned blanket over her head. It was warm, and she had to admit she was freezing cold right now. She used the corner to wipe the little dribbles of blood off her palm.

"Thank you" She told him sincerely.

She tried to stand but he gave her a sharp look with acid green and deep red. She sat back down with a questioning look, tilting her head as she reached up her newly sewn arm to curl a small braid behind an ear. The stitches tugged, but he always did a good job and she knew it would feel a lot better in a couple of days. Then it was be just another scar next to all the other scars that maped her relationship (friendship?) with Loud Blood across her skin.

Beating Hearts separated the stack of accounts she had been watching him work on earlier, and he slid the top layer of papers towards her.

"If you finish these without mistakes you may assist me from now on." and there was an intenseness in his eyes that signified to her that he wanted her to pass this test.

She wanted to pass it, to please him.

She beamed with a bright smile and glowing eyes. She could do this, she knew she could.

"You may do as you please when they are done, correctly." The last part sounded like a warning.

"Eck. Thats fucking sick Kakuzu making her work on the fucking accounts. Don't we torture the little leech enough?" Loud Blood said with a twist to his lips that displayed how disgusting he thought math was.

Nanami ignored him, and plucked the pen from the table. "Would you like me to round up or round down?"

"Up, any excess over a yen you will seperate onto a different _Motochō_." She tilted her head at the unknown word. (but also pleased that he accepted her knowledge of mathematics and treated her like she was capable.)

"Hm?" She made a small noise asking for clarification on the word.

"A list of accounts by type." She nodded, and set the tip of the pen down on the first list of expenses, nervousness and shyness forgotten.

"You taught her math?" Raven Eyes questioned (Incredulously? Curiously?) as he abandoned his post at the door to kneel at her side and watch her tally.

Beating Hearts grunted. "No." He didn't offer more of an explanation, and Raven Eyes rose a questioning brow at her.

"Nanami knows." She offered simply with a shrug. Itachi looked up and over to share something quiet and unsaid with Kisame.

"Fucking brat." Loud Blood broke the awkward moment. He was good for that. "Don't go fucking turning into a little god damn Kakuzu one is fucking plenty." He gave her a stern look, an expression she wasn't used to seeing on him.

It didn't really suit him. (She like it better when he grinned at her with dancing eyes and crazy laughter.)

"Like we need another Hidan." Beating Hearts grumbled lowly.

"Hey, fuck you- she would be fucking blessed to be like me, I'm the holy fucking disciple of Jashin-sama and you're just a dirty heathen." He shot back without pause, all signs of his previous seriousness gone. His hand came up to hover near his favored weapon and he glared at Kakuzu menacingly.

Nanami tittered quietly to herself relieved at the return of his normal behavior, and she slid aside the topmost ledger. She never realized how much money went into all the crap False Pieces had, hint- it was a lot.

She said so, earning herself a startled and upset look from the white haired man.

"Fucking hell she's already starting to sound like you." Kakuzu grunted and held out his hand for the aforementioned expenditures and she handed it over to him, switching to the next one in her pile.

Raven Eyes shifted at her side and she lifted her pen for a moment to look at him.

He had a small frown on his face, but mostly he looked just as apathetic as he always did.

"Perhaps you are in need of different role models." he deadpanned.

Her eyes widened at him, her lips splitting apart in surprise. It was true she spent more time with the Zombie Combo than any of the others- but that was mostly because they were here the most often. He didn't want her to spend time away from them did he? She… didn't want that.

Though… she had no idea how he would even manage it when they were short handed for other people to foster her off onto anyways.

Oceans burst out laughing then, a loud gut full of barking enjoyment- and Nanami realized that it must have been a joke.

The Akatsuki _were_ her only role models. (That in itself was kind of a joke actually.)

"Good one." Oceans said, eyes full of good humor. Itachi's eyes curved subtly with the hint of a smile and he laid a reassuring hand on top of her head for a moment before moving away and into the kitchen.

"Pft," Loud Blood made a noise halfway between a laugh and a disbelieving sound. "You actually though he was serious little bitch? Good to know you like us so fucking much." His grin was wide and pleased.

She caught her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment and smiled back at him. Kakuzu's large hand landed on the back on her head and he pushed her forward to look down at the papers in front of her.

"Finish."

She giggled and picked up where she had left off.


	12. Stay With Me (Until the Time Comes)

Chapter Twelve: Stay With Me (Until the Time Comes)

"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."

* * *

Nanami pushed the cabinet door open with the tips of her fingers quietly, and tumbled from her sleeping space (which now included a pillow courtesy of Burning Earth) into the dark and empty kitchen. She crouched low, sticking to the walls and corners like a mouse.

Her eyes swept the back wall of the great stone room. Loud Blood and Beating Heart's door was wide open. They always left it open. (Maybe not _for_ her, she got the feeling neither one of them really enjoyed being trapped in a room alone with the other.)

Burning Earth and False Peices door was closed, but they weren't home right now anyways.

She bit the inside of her cheek, the fresh stitches in her arm tugging unpleasantly. Raven Eye's room was a toss up. Sometimes he left it open for her, and other times he would close it if he wanted privacy.

She never intruded if any of the Red Clouds wanted to be alone. They dealt with a lot of bull shit and it wasn't her place to step into that.

Sometimes though, she thought they liked having her company after a particularly rough experience.

There had been one time, (which she would never repeat to anyone upon unspoken threat of death) when Burning Earth had been sent on a mission- she didn't know the details, but she did know he'd been forced to kill a good childhood friend.

He'd be distraught, in a quiet 'I accept that I'm a killer' kind of a way. She snuck into his room, the door had been left unlatched while False Pieces had been in the livingroom and she had crawled on top of his bedspread to sit with him. He just sat there for the longest time, elbows on his knees with his chin cradled in his palms with a far away look in his blue eyes.

He didn't send her away, and she didn't pry- but he let her lean against his arm as they sat there. Then he'd just sort of- started talking in a low, unhappy voice. Explained to her what the boys had been like when they were young, how his friends mother had always made room at their table for him.

He talked a lot about nothing, and everything. She listened. Burning Earth had a good heart underneath all his bluster and pride. (He didn't want to be here, she knew. She ached for him, for the life he could have had.)

She had sat with him until False Pieces came back in and Burning Earth had kicked her out like she'd been a bother. She smiled for him, because she knew better.

But right now, if her vague sense of Raven Eyes was anything at all, and the door he'd left cracked for her was a sign, then maybe he'd like her company. (She had this feeling…)

She slunk across the floor with soft fingertips and toes. She rose slowly at the door and pushed at it with soft child's hands.

"Raven Eyes" She called in a whisper. Oceans was here too, for the first time. She didn't want to startle anyone. He didn't... know her. (A deep ache at the realization.)

"Nanami." was his gentle response. She stepped inside, refusing to turn her head to look at the bed that was normally empty. She knew if she did she might break, and she wasn't here tonight for him. (It wasn't about what she wanted anymore. Maybe it never had been.)

It was dark, and she heard Ocean's shifting as she made her way to Raven Eyes. She sat at the edge of his bed, she wouldn't venture further into his personal space without permission, even if he was the most receptive of the Red Clouds to such things. (She suspected it was because he was once an older sibling, still is one.)

He let out that soft breath that she often debated between being more a sigh or a laugh.

"Did you see your brother?" and he didn't stiffen, because he was… used to (but probably not really) her whispers in the dark of things she shouldn't know.

Oceans shifted more, there was the slide of cloth and she thought he might be sitting up. She didn't look.

"I did." He confirmed. She reached into the dark with a little hand, blinking at nothing because there was nothing to see. It was dark here beneath the earth when the lights were out.

His fingers touched the top of her hand, and he guided it down to rest beneath his larger one between them.

"Someday." She whispered to him, and she paused because she wanted to say the right thing.

"He will be everything you fear and hope he will become," another pause, his fingers twitched atop hers.

"...but until then, you'll have to be strong for a little while longer, because the things he will have to face after you are gone will be much worse." She hoped the words were comforting, in their sad helpless truth.

A ragged exhale.

"Nanami wishes…" She hesitated. "Nanami wishes she could take the pain away for you. I'm sorry you always have to be the one to be strong."

His hand curled over the top of hers, and he tugged her forward gently. She felt the fingers of his other hand tap the space between her eyes.

"You are a sweet girl Nanami." and he sounded so empty and hopeless, he had long ago accepted the world as his burden. Her heart broke for him.

"May I…" She hesitated again.

More shifting cloth.

"You may stay." So she tumbled forward, and his slender form lifted the covers so she could crawl beneath them.

She fell asleep to the sound of his ragged (almost wet) breathing, wishing she could take his burden, wishing she could make him better.

She was just a little girl, stumbling around in the dark hoping for a purpose. She thought maybe she'd found one here. Small, pointless little things that meant the world to her.

Other times she felt like the helpless child she truly was.

She couldn't stop the future from happening. (But she could stop herself from thinking about it)

Itachi deserved to rest. He'd done enough, given enough. She wasn't so selfish that she'd take that away from him.

* * *

"She's a lot paler than she used to be." Kisame murmured once her breathing evened out. Itachi made a noncomental humming sound as he gently pried her vice like grip from the front of his shirt.

"Nanami has been with us for just shy of a year." He reminded the other man. Kisame grunted.

"The others seem to like her."

"She grows on you." was his soft response. Kisame snorted. "And you warned me about attachment."

Itachi sighed, but didn't offer a rebuttal.

It was a telling lack of a statement.

"Has Leader-sama asked about her yet?" Kisame changed the subject.

"Not in some time. Her presence here is tolerated because she lacks the option to leave, and Zetsu sees her as some kind of house pet. Leader-sama thinks one of us will grow bored eventually and kill her."

"House pet?" Kisame snickered.

Nanami murmured in her sleep, rolling over to dangle an arm over the side of the bed- her newly stitched arm- which Itachi quickly retrieved and pulled back onto the bulk of the mattress.

"She get into a lot of fights?" The shark man's voice was full of good humor.

"Only with Hidan."

"Really- Hidan, why him?" Itachi flashed him a flat look, because he knew the other man could see just fine despite the dark.

"Aside from his overly abrasive personality? She knows it pleases him." Kisame snorted again.

It was quiet for a little while as Kisame watched the little girl's chest rise and fall with her breathing. Itachi closed his eyes.

"She chews her at her lips a lot." Kisame noted aloud. Itachi cracked an eye back open to look at him.

"A nervous habit." He informed the shark man absently.

"What's the plan here." He asked finally, voice lowered to a whisper.

Itachi made an aborted gesture, like he might have done something as undignified as shrugging. He adjusted Nanami's sleeping form again instead.

"Nanami has knowledge that we have worked to keep secret, but it is only a matter of time before someone realizes she isn't a normal little girl. I suspect Kakuzu already knows; although he seems to keep it to himself. She is intelligent for her age, astoundingly so, the rate at which she learns and comprehends is impressive."

"So, what then." Kisame pressed silver eyes flashing in the dark.

"We continue to wait, let Zetsu and Leader think what they want for now. We can use her knowledge as she gets older and the Akatsuki begins to mobilize. We still have a few years time." Itachi considered aloud.

"So we're still think this whole thing," a sweeping gesture, "is a ruse then?"

"Yes." Itachi confirmed. Kisame grunted in annoyance.

He hated being lied to.


	13. Feather Braid, Honest Lies

Chapter Thirteen: Feather Braid, Honest Lies

"The worth of a human being lies in the ability to extend oneself. To go outside oneself. To exist in, and for other people."

* * *

"Nanami-chan" Burning Earth called her attention away from False Pieces, who was once again sitting in his main form surrounded by a pile of puppet parts, working away at them. (She liked watching him work, and he didn't mind if she was quiet and stayed out of the way.)

They had come back from this last mission a little roughed up, and Nanami knew that meant maintenance work.

Nanami shifted on top of Burning Earth's bedspread bringing her full attention back to the blond man who was grinning at her like the cat that got the canary.

"I got you something while we were out." He said, startling her. Her eyes widened, anticipation and surprise settling heavily in her belly. A small breath escaped her as she considered him.

"You did?" She breathed and watched as he dug through his travel pouch.

False Pieces scoffed. "Sentimental creatures." He said it like it was a curse, Nanami ignored him.

Burning Earth pulled a pretty orange feather with red edges from his bag with a flourish. His grin widened as he took in her expression.

"For your braids, it's a good match for your hair color, un." He explained with sweep at his long bangs.

She was at a loss as to what to say. Her mouth opened, and then closed. She bit her lip, a strange tightness clawing it's way up her throat. It itched and made her heart pound like she'd been running for too long.

Oh no... she was going to cry.

She choked the sensation back, a burning in the corner of her eyes that she was forced to blink excessively at. She didn't want to cry in front of Burning Earth and False Pieces. She didn't want them to think less of her.

"Thank you." The words came out a little wet, and Burning Earth laughed; clearly pleased with her reaction.

"Come sit with me and I'll put it in your hair." He said distractedly as he dug back through the bag for what she assumed was his hair brush. (Burning Earth was the most vain of all the Red Clouds, defeating Loud Blood by a small margin)

"Okay," She agreed, making a poor attempt at hiding her eagerness. It wasn't often any of her Red Clouds offered physical contact, she wasn't going to turn it down when she craved it so much. (She tried to keep it under wraps, but she had the feeling they knew anyways.)

She crawled forward to sit in front of him, turning to the side to continue watching False Pieces do his maintenance so Burning Earth could reach the space behind her ear where she normally put her braids.

His hands reached out, adjusting her shoulders and pulling her small body to sit between his outstretched legs. The contact was shocking but not unpleasant.

He clenched the handle of the small brush between his teeth as he undid her current braid, fingers sweeping gently through her clean sandy brown hair. She shivered at the pleasant contact. (there wasn't much touching going on that didn't also involve some kind of maiming or blood letting. Usually courtesy of Loud Blood. He touched her most often, but never like this.)

She let her eyes droop. Lulled by the rare petting. Burning Earth hummed something she didn't recognize, but she found this comforting as well.

"Here." She cracked a doe brown eye open at False Pieces, who was holding out a smooth puppet hand to her. He wasn't looking at her, but that wasn't unusual. She reached a little hand out towards his, and he dropped a small wooden object into it.

"Don't mention it." He snapped before she could ask, and the words sounded like a threat so she closed her mouth with a click.

It was a plain wooden bead in a nice red color. She grinned at the sight of it in her palm, and trapped a pleased giggle in her throat. (Was it her birthday or something?)

Sentimental indeed.

She handed it to Burning Earth behind her, who took it without a word and worked it in next to the feather.

"Oi, little bitch." Loud Blood made himself known in the doorway. A look of disgust flashed behind his purple eyes as he took in the sight of the three of them in the room.

"Tch, sick. When you bitches are done with all this girly shit Kakuzu wants to see you brat." and he was gone just as fast as he'd come with hissing complaints of how he wasn't a messenger service.

Nanami's smile didn't fade, she was too happy to let Loud Blood ruin this for her.

When Burning Earth finished with a twist of the small rubber tie, she turned to look at him, he was examining her new braid with a smirk on his face, satisfied with his handiwork. His eyes met hers and the edges of his lips softened slightly.

His hand reached up and swiped a thumb beneath her eye which she hadn't realized was wet; his palm was warm on her cheek.

"Now get the fuck out, un." and he kicked her none too gently off the bed. She landed on her feet to the side of a pile of puppet parts, her feather and beaded braid trailing behind her.

She laughed, eyes sparkling in childish glee and danced on light feet out the door.

* * *

It was some months later when she saw him for the first time. Or rather, she sensed him first.

Nanami looked up from the ledger she'd been working on, her relaxed body going unnaturally still.

The pen fell from her fingertips and rolled a little in front of her- her eyes wide; startled by the suddenness of it, fearful of what it meant.

"Kid?" Beating Hearts questioned gruffly from her side.

She had never met the person this incoming chakra belonged too, but she sure as hell could make an educated guess. It slithered, slick and wet like a lie. It had edges sharp like a knife, all smothered beneath a layer of healing chakra, but it was there. She could feel it. It was disgusting.

Nanami made a strangled sound. She wouldn't let this new appearence get to her. She reached a shaky hand out and plucked the pen back up with white fingertips.

"It's nothing." She whispered.

Beating Hearts watched her movements with acid green eyes that said he knew better, but he grunted and let it go; because no one here pryed.

It was one of the many unvoiced rules of the Akatsuki.

It was at that point that the main door slammed open, smacking into the wall with a resounding crack. Burning Earth stormed in, looking beyond furious his hair practically floating in the air around him from the force of his killing intent. Blue eyes blazing with the promise of brutal murder, his mouth set in a hard line.

He went to his room and slammed that door too.

Nanami blinked, brushing off the sensation of his killing intent with some effort. She popped the knuckles of her free hand to distract her from the heavy way it blanketed around her, even though she knew Beating Hearts didn't like it when she did that.

"What the fuck is all the noise about." Loud Blood grumbled stomping from his open bedroom to throw himself down on the couch.

It was then that Sasori shuffled into the room, and right behind him was a silver haired youth with large, round glasses.

Nanami flinched violently, a cold sweat breaking out on her skin. She tried to breath normally and focus on her math. The numbers swam in front of her. Her mind began to repeat a mantra of 'oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck fuck fuck.'

Because she didn't want anything to do with Yakushi Kabuto.

Beating Hearts eyes narrowed on her, flicked up from Sasori's informant back down to the little girl.

And then the man spoke, all sickly sweet tones like he actually cared. Nanami could see how he'd managed to tick a lot of people into thinking whatever the hell he wanted them too. He oozed honesty and kindness, but his chakra didn't.

"Oh, and who is this?" She didn't look up from her ledger, placing the pen tip back down where she'd left off. She didn't need to look up to know who he was talking about.

"None of your business." Came False Pieces clipped reply. Kabuto let it go, but she could still feel his eyes on her as her Red Cloud led the snake into the kitchen. He dug through one of the high cabinets she couldn't reach and wasn't allowed to go into with a chakra string. Searching for whatever it was she assumed he'd brought this sick fuck into their home for.

"She's not for fucking sale you creep so you can stop starting at the bitch like she's a piece of meat." Came Loud Bloods scathing interruption. She was never more grateful for his grating voice than she was right now.

"I don't know what you mean?" Kabuto's very honest sounding reply was. 'I'm just an innocent bystander' his tone of voice said.

"Yea fucking right." Loud Blood quipped just over her shoulder. Her eyes left the paper she'd done nothing new on to slide up to look at him.

He held his scythe in a loose grip, the cord attached to the handle winding up his arm. He was relaxed, at ease, like a wild thing right before it rips your bowels from your belly.

She hoped he would show Kabuto just how sharp the weapon was. It would save a lot of people a lot of grief.

Nanami had never looked at someone before and thought 'I think this person would look better as a corpse.' but hey, there was a first for everything.

Beating Hearts stood from his cushion next to her, uncoiling muscles like a jungle cat as he reached his full height. It was a very impressive height, she had always thought so.

He started walking toward his open bedroom door, brushing past Loud Blood who still hovered near her. (In a casual, 'I meant to be here the whole time' kind of way.)

"Nanami, come." Beating Hearts called her. She placed the pen down with white fingertips, carefully and purposefully and then stood with all the grace she could muster.

She smothered her fear under a visage of apathy. (She probably failed, but she tried.)

She followed after Beating Hearts with a gratefulness that tightened her throat as she moved away from Yakushi's disgusting chakra signature.

"You know," the bespectacled man said to her back. "Orochimaru is always looking for new test subjects if you run out of uses for her." and she got the feeling he was testing them, walking along a fine line in a room full of predators. Clearly he was digging for information, his interest in her presence here was perked, but she trusted the Red Clouds to take care of it.

"Don't waste my time." False Pieces voice was scathing and irritated.

"She's not for fucking sale." Hidan's voice promised death, or in the very least a lot of blood.

Beating Hearts closed the bedroom door behind her.


	14. Useless Affinity (Ambient Coaxing)

Chapter Fourteen: Useless Affinity (Ambient Coaxing)

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the self-help section was, and she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose." –George Carlin

* * *

Raven Eyes was always a patient man, Nanami knew. He could sit quietly for hours with nothing but a book in his hands and still look vaguely entertained. Hell, she'd seen him stare at a wall for an entire afternoon looking like he was asleep with his eyes open.

She always had to resist the urge to try to sneak up on him when he got like that, just to see if he was. (She didn't think she had ever managed to sneak up on him, but if he was ever surprised by her sneakiness he never showed it.)

So it did come as a small surprise to find that Oceans was almost the total opposite. He fidgeted on the couch while she sat at her regular seat at the low table.

Beating Hearts had told her just because he was going to be away for a few weeks didn't mean she'd be allowed to slack off on her share of the accounts. Not that she would have anyways.

She thought it must be early morning, because Raven Eyes was just now coming out of the shower and his morning ritual included showering at the crack of dawn, or 'ass early' as Loud Blood liked to call it.

Oceans had already finished bandaging his massive sword (which she really liked but had never had the chance to go near; it had pleasant chakra- almost identical to his; the main difference being a more… animal feel to it. Definitely not human at least.)

"You know," the massive man said suddenly in the middle of her moving an excess of yen to Beating Hearts side ledger. He wouldn't be pleased when he found out about the discrepancy in the budget she'd come across this morning. (She suspected Loud Blood had bought fancy soap again.) She made a mental note to tell him as soon as he came home, that- or confirm with Loud Blood if he had. Loud Blood had never balked from a fight with his partner before, sometimes he even did stupid shit like this on purpose just to get a rise out of the man.

"The snake sannin made an offer for you." Oceans continued flippantly, and that definitely had her attention. She gripped her pen hard looking up at the man she secretly adored. (But it wasn't really a secret because Nanami couldn't hide anything to save her life.)

Her eyes met silver and he grinned at her, a dangerous sort of shape with far too many teeth. She resisted the urge to grin back at him. (His expressions were sort of infectious.)

"His messenger never made it back to him. Sasori is not a man known for his patience." Raven Eyes interrupted smoothly as he held his damp hair away from his neck and pulled it into his customary pony tail. It dripped lightly onto the towel he had draped across his shoulders.

Nanami bit her lip hopefully. "Kabuto?"

Itachi's eyes narrowed (Because she'd done that thing again) on her, his eyes held hers for a moment, searching.

"No." He finally said. She slumped in disappointment and resisted the urge to pout.

"Okay." She said, because she wasn't really sure what she should to say to that. Although, 'that's too bad.' came to mind.

Oceans twitched, a frown twisting his lips like he was dissatisfied because that wasn't what he'd been expecting, or maybe because he hadn't gotten a rise out of her. Nanami's brows furrowed in confusion and she frowned. She didn't want to disappoint him.

He grunted and flopped over onto his back to look up at the flat stone ceiling that was speckled with old blood. It was quiet for a time with only the scratching of Nanami's pen as she went back to work, and the turning of the pages in Raven Eyes book. (Raven Eyes liked his books)

"What can you do anyways?" Oceans asked breaking the silence, she looked back up with a tilt of her head, beads and feathers swaying.

"Hm?" She asked without words. He rolled over again arms hanging over the armrest of the couch as he considered her, he looked like a giant lazy blue cat like that.

"We know you can channel chakra, and you're a decent sensor and you can mute your own signature. Or mimic animal signatures. What else?" He ticked off his fingers as he listed what he knew about her.

And it was an odd thing for her, because no one had ever really asked what she was capable of. No one had ever asked her anything about herself.

Nanami slid her gaze over to Raven Eyes questioningly. Could she do anything else? He didn't look up from his book, but he did offer her a noncomental 'Hn.'

"Uhm, I don't know." She told him finally. His eyebrow rose. "Nanami tried once, before-" she made a gesture around the room 'before I came here' went unsaid. "to make fire, or water, or make the earth move. I didn't get very far. Everything else just sort of… happens."

"Just… happens." He parroted. She nodded.

Raven Eyes closed his book with a muted whump.

"Alright, let's get started then." He began in that tone of voice that said he expected her to listen carefully and learn what he had to offer.

Oceans grin split his face again in a manic sort of glee that had her biting her bottom lip to contain the excitement that was beginning to buzz beneath her skin.

They… were going to teach her shinobi stuff?

_Awesome._

* * *

Nanami had an affinity for water; which she was, one hundred percent not surprised about. Her tiny little self sat on the floor with crossed legs in front of the much, much larger form of Kisame, who sat with the same folded legs. (He shared her affinity, and thus the mantle had fallen from Raven eyes who was a fire user, to him.)

Between them was a cup of water. Nanami felt like it was mocking her in all it's pretty, floral patterned ceramic brightness.

Nanami had tried her best to follow all of Oceans instructions, but despite this the man was frustrated, (so was she) and neither one of them understood why she couldn't make her chakra shift to nature chakra. She understood the concept just fine as he explained it, but somewhere in her own chakra there was… a sort of disconnect. It just wouldn't change.

This is what Loud Blood and Beating Hearts came home to almost three weeks after they initially left.

"What the fuck?" was Loud Blood's intelligent inquiry. Beating Hearts took one look at her, and then the cup, and then Kisame and grunted.

"Water affinity huh." To which both she and Oceans nodded absently.

She glared at the water in the cup when it rippled slightly with their passing footsteps. (Distantly, she was reminded of a movie about dinosaurs)

"Gehah! Fuck yea! Are we finally gunna teach her something fucking interesting?!"

Nanami shifted as Loud Blood was suddenly flopped over on the floor next to her, the very sharp points of his scythe in her lap- pointed at her belly button.

She twitched, and used careful fingertips at the top (because she learned the hard way not to touch it from underneath the blades) and gently guided it over into Hidan's space.

He just grinned at her with that spark in his violet eyes that said he'd done it on purpose and enjoyed watching her squirm. She bared her sharp little baby teeth at him and he grinned wider.

"Do you even know any elemental jutsu?" Came Oceans doubtful voice.

"Hey fuck you, I can do that one thing." He didn't elaborate, and Nanami chewed her bottom lip in an effort not to smile at his expense.

"How long have you been working on this?" Beating Hearts interrupted. Nanami looked up at him, her mouth morphing into a frustrated frown.

"A while." Oceans answered in a deadpan kind of way. "Maybe she just isn't well suited to elemental natured chakra." He added, a frown tugging at his own lips. (Her chest squeezed at the sight of his disappointment)

"Don't worry your tits off bitch all that fire and water shit is stupid anyways." Loud Blood told her, violet eyes shining. Underneath all the insults she thought it was almost sort of sweet. If he wasn't so fucking creepy about it.

"Put your hand in the cup." Beating Hearts told her from somewhere in the kitchen. She did, even though she didn't understand why. Because Nanami was a good girl and did what she was told. (most of the time)

The water was cold, and it swished between her fingers when she wiggled them. Oceans watched her, as if waiting for something. She didn't know what though.

"Tch." Loud Blood complained rolling his eyes heavenward while flopping fully onto the floor. She ignored him like she always did when he was trying to distract her from something. (He had an attention seeking nature a mile wide)

Beating Hearts came back in and sat at his customary place at the low table near them with a cup of hot tea and what she thought might have been a newspaper. (how… domestic of him.)

"Everything has chakra." he reminded her, and she nodded because she knew this very well. She could feel it, see it. Acid green eyes watched her expectantly, waiting for her to come to the conclusion he was attempting to guide her towards. (His faith in her always made her feel warm)

"You can't expect the brat to do anything with ambient chakra, that's like- some sage shit or something, seriously." Loud Blood interrupted.

Oceans gaze sharpened on her, and then slid over to look at Kakuzu (who was no longer paying attention to them) with narrowed eyes.

Nanami frowned.

Because she touched ambient chakra all the time. She didn't understand how it worked really, it was just there. She had never tried to take it into her coils- not that she really had a good grasp on the whole 'coils and pathways' thing, but she could nudge it around. Encourage it to do what she wanted.

Like she had always done with the deer, or the rabbits.

She'd never tried it with an element though. (She just hadn't thought to honestly)

So Nanami slowly and carefully (the word 'sage' made her nervous, didn't that have something to do with turning people to stone?) seeped chakra into her fingertips. She curled her hand into the water once more, giving the energy she could barely see within it a gentle touch, a soft nudge. She didn't try to take the chakra, she had her own to use. She just… projected what she wanted through her chakra as she touched the water's chakra.

Nanami lifted her hand out of the cup and opened her eyes (when had she closed them?) below her hand was a snake like flowing line of water. It wriggled in the air for a moment between her skin and the top of the cup.

"Are you fucking shitting me." Hidan's hushed words broke her concentration and the water dropped, splashing across the floor and over the top of the floral print cup.

"Well, it's not the same as changing your chakra into a nature-type but I suppose it'll do." Oceans told her, sounding like he wasn't sure what to think of this development.

Hidan gawked at her, and then at Kisame.

"You suppose it'll do." the white haired man parroted incredulously.

"Where did you learn that Nanami?" Raven Eyes spoke for the first time from his spot on the couch, gazing at her with sharp intelligent eyes.

Nanami shrugged. "No one taught Nanami, I just see the chakra and nudge it around. It only needs a little coaxing."

There was silence for a moment.

"The thing is." Oceans began with a strange look in his silver eyes. "That- that's not possible. You can't just 'nudge ambient chakra.'"

She frowned, had she done something wrong? Was she not supposed to use her chakra like this? "Sorry, Nanami didn't know."

Loud Blood made a strangled noise which quickly turned in guffaws.

"She didn't _know_ , gehah! That-" He broke off to laugh some more.

"I suspect it is a kekkei genkai." Beating Hearts informed them. Raven Eyes gave him a sharp look. "I have watched her interact with it before." He supplied further.

"But shouldn't be she like- I don't know a fucking rock right now?" Loud Blood questioned. No one answered him. Because no one in the room really understood how ambient chakra or nature chakra worked. All they knew was it just wasn't done.

"I don't mix them." Nanami offered, hoping it might dispel the strange air in the room. It didn't.

"This isn't something we will be able to guide you through." Raven Eye said after a moment, tone serious. "It is doubtless, however, that Leader-sama would be very interested to have this information."

And then it was quiet again as the room filled with a rare and tenuous sense of mutual agreement that Nanami didn't really comprehend.

Loud Blood was frowning, his purple eyes seemed a shade darker, Oceans wasn't looking at her but seemed to be having some unspoken conversation with Raven Eyes. (They did that a lot.)

A hand settled on top of her head and she looked up to see tanned skin and acid green in a sea of red.

"You did well." He praised her efforts simply, like he knew she was capable the whole time. Her chest warmed.

No one ever mentioned what happened again, and Nanami never practiced where others could see her.


	15. Conversations with a Beast

Chapter Fifteen: Conversations with a Beast

"Even from the beginning that was the problem. People liked pretty things. People liked pretty things that wanted to kill and eat them." -Holly Black

"But perhaps the monsters needed to look out for each other every now and then." -Sarah Maas

* * *

Nanami crept forward with hushed chakra and silent feet. She did this because it was how she always moved about, regardless of Raven Eyes who was watching her with a guarded expression.

Oceans was in the kitchen, and she was… well, she was _curious._

And they had left the door open.

Samehada leaned against the side of his bed, across from Itachi who sat on his own. He held a book in his lap, fingers gently turning pages in the quiet.

"Nanami." He warned softly. She nodded without looking at him, eyes glued to this new beast before her. It's chakra rose into the air, curling like steam and falling again like heavy water vapor- and it spoke to her.

It whispered of a never ending gnawing hunger, a pain deep within it's sentience that could never be fulfilled, and a sadness, a loneliness that reached out to touch the beings around it begging to be fed, to feel sated.

It was a cry no one could hear but her.

She stopped an arm's length away, and she listened.

It was like a song almost. Like a soft huum made with lips closed by a woman who could not speak and bore the burn scars to prove it. A deep sadness, eyes that didn't exist that looked at her in utter devastation- reaching out to convey things it knew no one could hear.

She heard it's ache, and from where she sat she reached out with a gentle tendril of chakra, and with a soft stroke like a mother's hand on her child's head she told Samehada of love, of fulfillment and purpose.

The sword _shivered_.

It shredded through the bandages that encased it and it's own chakra spiked, a high pitched whine with no real sound.

"Nanami." Raven Eyes said again, sharper this time- louder.

Samehada's chakra grasped at hers, pulling it in. Consuming what she offered to fill its baser drive; an all consuming need to be full, to feel… complete.

She could empathize with such a feeling. She knew hunger as well. She knew what it felt like to have your own body eat away at itself until there was no hunger any longer, only pain. Only the deep bone tired feel, the weakness that cradled you as you lay on the edge of death.

Nanami knew it would never attain the sensation it desired, so she tried to show it through her chakra. She thought of heavy meals with loved ones, that different kind of tired when one had eaten too much and eyelids drooped in satisfaction and contentment.

She was dimly aware through her conversation with the sentient sword that Itachi had risen from his bed and left the room with quick strides of long legs.

He returned with Oceans, and the two paused in the doorway.

His sword lay across her lap, and she made long strokes across its body, flowing with the sharp scales. Petting it like it was a good dog.

The things mouth was open, a droopy pleased sort of expression with a lolled tongue.

It was practically purring.

"Nanami, what are you doing?" Kisame asked her haltingly, and she looked up because it was Oceans and this was his sword and she felt (only a little bit) badly that she had approached his sword without permission.

"Nanami is talking to Samehada." She said quietly, with a soft indulgent sort of smile at the sword that was more than twice her size and attempting to wiggle fully into her lap.

"He said he was in need." She continued, offering the simple explanation.

Kisame's lips parted to show sharp teeth. "Of course she can," He breathed disbelievingly. "Of course she can talk to the fucking sword. Why the fuck not." He went on, silver eyes glued to said weapon.

"Can you get it off her." Raven Eyes asked his partner as he slid into the room giving a wide berth to Nanami and her cuddle buddy.

"He's a he, not an it." Nanami corrected Raven Eyes sagely. Raven Eyes didn't have anything to say to that.

Kisame approached with careful steps, and crouched down at her side. Samehada responded to his ambient chakra with a pleased sort of eagerness that told her he knew he would be fed as long as Oceans was around to wield him.

She smiled up at Oceans, "He will go with you if you ask." and silver eyes met hers with a furrowed brow.

He reached out and grasped the wagging, curling hilt and gently lifted it from her, careful of its scales that moved in and out like it was breathing.

It went with minimal complaint. Nanami lifted her hands away accommodatingly.

"He's a needy beast." She told Oceans. The shark man looked down at the sword in his hand and then over at the little doe eyed child.

"Yea, he kinda is, isn't he." he replied with quirked lips.

Raven Eyes let out a huff that wasn't quite a laugh but close enough.

* * *

Nanami shivered at the next tug of threads through her back. She picked at the tattered remains of her too small kimono mournfully. It was trash now, the thing was in scraps.

"Hold still." Beating Hearts quipped at her. She made a small noise in the back of her throat, because her back had three lovely new slanted gashes from shoulder blade to hip, and it _hurt._

Loud blood sure was pissy today.

She shivered again which resulted in a particularly rough pinch of threads. She hissed between clenched teeth.

"I did warn you." Her Red Cloud said from behind her. She said nothing to that- because he had. Still, she tried very hard to do as he asked but she was practically naked now and her back was on fire, she was covered in blood and she felt disgusting and tired.

"Here Nanami-chan" She looked up from her position of laying on her belly across the couch with her head pillowed on her arm over the armrest. (She tried not to think about how she was bleeding all over the cushions, no one else cared so why should she? Even though it was kind of gross.)

Burning Earth stood there in his fishnet, his akatsuki cloak probably on the floor of his room, holding out a dark blue bed sheet to her.

He shrugged at her questioning look. "It's better than nothing, un. We don't have anything that will fit you." and with that he dropped it over her head and wandered off.

Nanami went to reach to pull it off but thought better of it, if she moved her arms Beating Hearts would probably lose his patience with her.

He'd told her to be still three times now. So she lay there instead, distracting herself by running her tongue over the peaks of her lower teeth.

"Fucking cunt." Hidan made himself known, pouting on the floor while waiting his turn.

"A good shinobi knows better than to drop his weapon." Kakuzu deadpanned while lifting her hip to reach the part of one of the gashes that curled around her side. She hissed again at the pulling sensation.

"I didn't think little bitch was going to fucking pick it up! It's like- twice her size, seriously!" Nanami giggled at the complaint.

Really, she only grabbed the thing because she'd been rolling over the top of the handle at the time and well- it was there, and his arm was reaching out to pull her hair again and she _hated_ it when he did it.

She hadn't been planning on chopping his arm off, honest. (She didn't regret it though. The look on his face had been hilarious.)

"Perhaps we should provide her a more size appropriate weapon for removing your limbs then." Raven Eyes said wholly unconcerned from the table. His statement was punctuated by Oceans roaring laughter.

"Itachi- did you just make a joke?" He managed through chortles. Nanami wished she could look over at him and see his expression, but the flat of Kakuzu's hand between her shoulder blades holding her in place told her he was over her fidgeting.

"Shut the fuck up." Loud Blood grumbled.

"I would suggest clothing first." False Pieces added his two cents. A very valuable two cents in her opinion. The silky black threads paused in their work for a moment before they continued with an agreeable grunt from Kakuzu.

She was crawling into her cabinet to sleep a day later when she found them, neatly folded next to her blanket. She blinked at the black and red cloth, unsure for a moment.

These weren't here before…

Nanami plucked at the knot that held the dark blue cloth tied firmly around her. Maybe someone wanted their bedsheets back.

The next morning Oceans showed her how to cinch the fabric of her first ever pair of pants just below her knees and wrap them with bandages to keep the excess of cloth from getting in the way of her movements, he even showed her how to wrap the arches of her feet since she adamantly refused shoes. (They got in the way of her animal stance, and she needed the freedom of movement to keep up with Loud Blood. Plus, it was easier to feel the chakra in the ground without them.)

Hidan took one look at her dark red shirt that was the color of thick blood and made an approving noise low in his throat.

"Learn to dodge better bitch, that color makes you look less like shit." He complimented. She grinned at him, pleased.


	16. Breathe the Wild Air

“Live in the sunshine. Swim the sea. Breath the wild air.” -Emerson

* * *

 

“This one looks good, see how the edges are curling? They do that right after they bloom, the sap will be more potent.” She told False Peices, who nodded despite the fact that she was sure he already knew this.

Still, she was pleased that he was involving her in his poison making at all. It had been… an unexpected offer but not an unwelcome one. Nanami knew enough about some of these plants to know which ones would kill you before you finished your dinner.

Maybe he was just testing her? She didn’t care if that was the case, she was just happy to help.

“Nanami-chan” Burning Earth interrupted poking his blond head around the door. She looked up from selecting one of the buds that had better coloring, to the cheerful man in the doorway.

“Yes?” She asked when nothing seemed forthcoming. He grinned.

“Come out into the living room.” She stood, tip toeing around empty glass vials and an arrangement of plants and puppet parts scattered around the floor. (False Pieces was surprisingly messy)

Said redhead didn’t look surprised at the appearance of his partner, but didn’t get up to follow as she left the room, looking as disinterested as he always did.

In the great stone room she found Raven Eyes and Beating Hearts sitting at the worn table, Oceans lounging boredly on the couch and Loud Blood grinning from ear to ear near the front door.

Burning Earth came from around the corner of the kitchen with a glass of something that he was sipping at.

“So,” Loud Blood began in an overly eager tone, and she was immediately suspicious.

“You have been with us for a little over two years now Nanami-chan.” Burning Earth interrupted him. Hidan gave him a scathing look. “That makes you like, fucking seven or some shit right?”

Nanami shrugged “I might be.” And no one batted an eye because it wasn’t surprising that she didn’t know.

In the last two years she’d grown a little; looking more like a child than a toddler. (She was still very short though, something she was always reminded of standing next to her Red Clouds.)

Her hair had grown farther down her back (she needed to ask Burning Earth to cut it again actually, she preferred it at her shoulders) but it still bore the feathers some of the Red Clouds liked to bring her, with little wooden beads and even a small bell Oceans had gifted her. (Though she suspected it was more that he wanted to hear her coming and less that he found it aesthetically pleasing.)

It made a pleasant, soft ringing sound when she tilted her head or turned too quickly. She found that when she needed to- like in her fights with Hidan- that it could be muted with a barely noticeable amount of chakra.

“Your age aside, you have been here for some time now,” Raven Eyes smoothly got them back on track and Nanami tilted her head, previously mentioned bell giving a soft ting sound.

Beating Hearts grunted, never one to skirt around the point of a topic. “We want to take you outside.”

She blinked and stilled for a moment. Had she heard that right?

Outside?

Where the sun was? And the moon? Where there was grass and a _breeze and fresh airohgods-_

“Really?” She breathed eyes wide.

Everyone was grinning at her, (except Raven Eyes and Beating Hearts for obvious reasons.)

“We’re leaving in an hour.” Beating Hearts informed her.

“Gehah! This is going to be a fucking blast little bitch-” Beating Hearts gave him a sharp look that promised his head might leave his neck if he didn’t shut up.

“Don’t wander off.” Oceans warned, and she nodded vigorously because her voice had failed her, and she was really trying very hard not to cry right now because they were saying she was going to go outside- outside- _outside-_

* * *

 The very first thing she did (after squinting at the hash sunlight- had it always been this… bright?) was throw herself down into the grass and roll around in it. It felt good, really good. It was cool and it pricked at her skin in a sensation she had almost forgotten, how could she have possibly forgotten how wonderful this was?

Loud Blood laughed deep from his chest at her expense, his cloak that he hardly ever wore inside was hanging loosely from his shoulders. Somehow him wearing it with nothing underneath managed to showcase his lack of shirt better than him trolloping around the great stone room with nothing but pants on.

Beating Hearts also wore his Akatsuki cloak, and it made him seem even larger than he did in just the black pants and tank top that was his usual attire.

The violent laughing man leapt towards her, aiming a punishing kick for her ribs with what she was sure would be enough force to punt her clear into the trees.

She rolled beneath his leg and sprung up behind him as he turned in a motion to fast for her to see- but she was already bring up her forearm to smash into his, and pushing his weapon arm away from his center. She danced inside his guard laughing and launched off the ground with a balancing leg to tackle him to the earth with a shoulder.

He went. (Even though she knew he was better than that.)

And then he was rolling around in the dirt with her laughing just as hard as she was while they attempted to maim each other bloody with tooth and nail. His scythe lay forgotten somewhere to the side.

“Children.” Beating Hearts called to them in _that_ tone of voice. Loud Blood pushed her off his chest straight up into the air, and she landed at his side a moment later with chakra enforced arms and legs like a cat.

She took a moment to tighten the bandage around the arch of one foot and then stood, brushing herself off like she’d done nothing more than trip.

Her grin was a little feral, matching the one Loud Blood wore as he trailed after Beating Hearts; making loud complaints and threats in his usual vulgar fashion about Beating Hearts choice of words.

* * *

 Nanami didn’t ask where they were going, because she didn’t really care; but as the day wore on and they passed the rivers and the streams that were familiar to her in a faded sort of way, she started to become more aware of the limitations of her small body.

When she stumbled for the third time, Beating Hearts stopped. There was still plenty of light in the day and she could tell neither one of the Akatsuki wanted to stop.

She chewed her bottom lip in frustration.

“Oi, quit biting, that shits annoying.” Loud Blood reprimanded her after sharing a look with his companion. She released her tortured lower lip at his words, and balled her little hands into fists.

“Nanami can keep going.” She told them fiercely. Loud Blood grinned at her.

“Sure you can.” He said confidently, and she looked up from her sore feet as he walked towards her. He bent down and in one smooth motion, he swooped her up, and perched her on his shoulder like some kind of humanoid bird. Because of her small stature it wasn’t too awkward, but still, she felt a little humiliated.

“While we’re out I can show you how Jashin-sama’s ritual works little bitch.” The blond man told her with no small amount of glee in his voice.

“Hidan.” Kakuzu warned. Loud Blood rolled his eyes and winked at her. “Don’t be such a stuffy old fart Kakuzu, she’s gunna see it while we’re out anyways.”

Beating Hearts grunted but didn’t disagree.

His acid green eyes caught her brown ones and in their depths was the promise of blood and pain if she started praying in the mornings or suddenly became magically slathered in corpse paint.

Nanami grinned at him, showing a few too many teeth.

He didn’t look reassured but he went back to not paying attention to them.


	17. Friend (Family)

"Whenever there is a meeting, a parting is sure to follow. However, that parting need not last forever. Whether a parting be forever or merely for a short time... that is up to you." - Happy Mask Salesman

* * *

 

As they traveled, the trio got more than one odd look. Nanami ignored them, paying more attention to the breeze in her hair, and the sun on her skin. Even the colors of the world around her felt new and exhilarating. 

Loud Blood was completely oblivious.

Beating Hearts didn’t give a shit.

It worked out for everyone.

It didn’t become a problem until they crossed paths with the last person she’d ever thought she’d meet in this life. They were somewhere east of River, she knew. But she hadn’t really kept track of where exactly. The area they were in now was heavily forested, the kind of area she would have easily called home two years ago.

She guessed they were somewhere near Fire Country, given the presented clues. The trees, the humidity, the leaf-nin, you know. The obvious stuff.

Loud Blood and Beating Hearts had left her at the edge of a large town, they said they wouldn’t be gone long and there wasn’t really a cause for concern at the time. 

She was excellent at hiding her chakra, and she hadn’t really wanted to be around that many humans anyways. She could smell the filth from the trees where she waited, she could only imagine actually walking around in there would be like trudging through a sewer. Gross.

She flitted from branch to branch for a while, circling around some before looping back to her waiting spot. She was enjoying her time outside. It was a pleasant warm kind of day, with big chunky clouds and a nice cool breeze. Nanami touched the birds with gentle strokes of chakra, speaking to them in ways she hadn’t for two years. She wished there were some deer around but it was too close to humanity for them to come anywhere near here.

And then she’d come back to her tree to find an unlikely pair had posted up at its roots.

It was her own fault really, too distracted with the outside and all the chakra signatures and ambient swirls and she had missed the blazing ball of supernova-like chakra (seriously, how did she manage to miss that?)

She chewed her lip, her own chakra signature fluttering like a birds as she debated the merits of introducing herself. 

It couldn’t hurt anything right? She would be lying if she said she wasn’t curious. 

“Huum.” She made a small noise as she settled on a decision. 

And then she dropped from the boughs onto the ground, landing on all fours with the soft grace she’d learned from fighting with Hidan and her time spent living in the wild.

The blond boy and silver haired man startled; staring at her with wide, bright blue and black eyes respectively. 

“Uh-” Naruto said intelligently. Jiraiya opened his mouth like a fish and then closed it, making an aborted gesture towards his weapon pouch but stopping once he realized it was only a little girl. (she assumed.)

Nanami sat back on her haunches, tilting her head with the ring of a bell and fluttering feathers as she considered the boy in front of her. He looked young. Maybe fourteen. He wore his orange and black jumper, but still had that overly eager shine to his eyes that she associated with his twelve year old self. (She thought- she wasn’t sure anymore. She hadn’t really thought about anything from the books other than the Akatsuki in a long time.)

“Hello.” She greeted softly. “I like you hair.” She added, eyeing the soft yellow spikes. She liked the color. It reminded her of summer.

“Uh, thanks!” Well, he recovered quickly, if the giant grin was anything to go by. He brought his knees up to rest his arms there in a casual gesture. She thought it seemed pretty genuine.

“You’re pretty cute too! Do you live around here?” The boy took a wild look around at the surrounding trees as if a magic house might appear.

“Yes, where did you come from little bird?” The sannin asked her, shifting as if he might stand. Nanami absently noted that his shoes were those weird wooden things. That couldn’t be comfortable could it? 

“Nanami was in the trees.” She told him sagely with a toothy grin. His eyes briefly flickered up before landing back on her. His frown said, ‘well, yes. I already knew that.’

Nanami bit her lip, eyes sliding back to Naruto who looked like he was barely managing to contain a large amount of words. 

“I’m Nanami.” She told him, and his smile was like the sun. 

“I’m Uzumaki Naruto! I’m going to be the next Hokage- believe it!” He shouted loud enough to startle her. She flinched back a little, not used to anyone shouting except for Loud Blood-  she was only used to the sound of his voice.

“What a Hokage?” She asked for fun, because well- why not. Naruto gaped at her. Jiraiya relaxed a little more but looked very confused in the next moment.

“Hokage is the leader of my village! He’s the strongest shinobi and everyone looks up to him and acknowledges him er- or her!” He flipped from excited, to serious, and then added the last part hastily as if afraid he might offend her.

Nanami liked this boy who was a decent amount older than her- he was a never ending ball of emotions.

“Oh.” She told him eyes wide. “You must be a very strong shinobi then.” and it came out a little more confident than she meant to too, because she knew. She knew the boy sitting before her would one day be a demigod.

She paused on her next question, she was curious, and she did want to ask… she couldn’t ever ask Raven Eyes. She fidgeted with her fingertips for a moment, debating. She couldn’t outright ask, but maybe she could nudge the conversation in the right direction?

“You must have a lot of friends,” she started, and he brightened even more if that was possible. 

“I have a ton of friends back home! There’s Konohamaru and all of the rookie nine and Sakura and Kakashi-sensei and-” he stopped himself, grinding to a sudden halt in the middle of speaking so quickly had she of been a few years younger she wouldn’t of been able to follow it. His hands fluttered in the air between them while he spoke, making wild gestures in his excitement. His personality was just as bright as his orange clothing she noted.

His blue eyes darked when he stopped. His posture slumped slightly, and Nanami regretted asking then, because she hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings; she was sure his wayward teammate was a sore subject, even if that’s what she’d been pining for.

She let go of her curiosity about Sasuke at the sight of the boy before her, she wasn’t so curious that she’d hurt someone's feelings over it. This wasn’t an interrogation after all.

She tilted her head, her bell giving a soft ring in response. 

“Nanami is good friends with Raven Eyes.” She offered in return a chance to change the subject. (well, good friends might be a stretch, but they didn’t need to know that.) Naruto’s head tilted like a dog’s mirroring the way hers had a moment before. Jiraiya’s narrowed his eyes on her, and she wasn’t sure why because it had seemed a pretty vague thing to say to her.

“Who is Raven Eyes?” Naruto asked with a genuine sounding note of perplexity. 

Nanami tittered, eyes sliding to look into the canopy in an attempt to hide the humor in her eyes. She had to admit, it was kind of funny talking about Itachi with this boy.

“Raven Eyes is a man.” She whispered to him conspiratorially, like it was a big secret. Naruto grinned in response, seemingly eager to play her game.

“What kind of man?” His whispered back eyes shining, and she thought he was very nice to look at.

“He’s a good man. He had a family once. He still loves them very much. Nanami likes to think sometimes she is family too.” (and she hadn’t realized it was true until she’d said it aloud, but she promised herself this would forever be her secret.) Naruto adopted a far away look for a moment. Jiraiya froze, hand fluttering once again towards a weapons pouch, he looked like he was debating with himself over something. Nanami eyed him warily. What kind of conclusions was he drawing from her?

“Yea, family would be nice.” He said is a whimsical kind of way. Nanami smiled softly at him, because she got it. She had to make her own in this world, she had to earn it, worked for it. (she still was.) She didn’t miss the flash of hurt and regret in the sannin’s eyes as he looked at the boy.

“Nanami was alone before.” She told him, and the empathy on his face was very touching. “But now Nanami has many brothers.” 

He grinned at her then, emotions swinging like a pendulum, bright and joyful feeling happy for her even though he had no family of his own. He had teammates though, and his teachers, she supposed that was a very similar sort of thing to what she had.

“Who is Raven Eyes.” The Sage repeated Naruto’s earlier question, but when he said it there was a note of steel to it. She thought he must be a very intelligent man to pick something out of so little information.

Nanami tittered again, because she was a little bit crazy, and she liked this game. Ah, but it appeared her time here was short. 

She stood then, coming up off her hands to stand straight like the human she supposedly was. She felt safe knowing they were almost here. 

“Nanami is sorry,” She had time to say down at the cross legged Naruto, completely ignoring the white haired man. “I hope you and your friends well, maybe Nanami could come and visit once you are a Ho-ka-ge.” She said the word slowly, tasting it for the first time on her lips. She felt a little giddy saying it. 

Naruto’s beamed at her like a one hundred watt bulb, looking every bit like the supernova that his chakra felt like.

“Oi! Seriously little bitch, we leave you for like- a fucking hour-”

“Hidan.” Kakuzu told him to shut up without actually saying it as the two men appeared above them on a high branch, their beautiful cloaks fluttering in the breeze.

Naruto was standing in a flash, both him and Jiraiya pushing her smaller body behind them. 

Nanami giggled at their strange gesture of kindness.

“Akatsuki.” The sage hissed vehemently, his killing intent began to leak, making her skin crawl in an uncomfortable sensation. Naruto’s blue eyes flashed back to look at her.

“It’s okay little sis, we’ll protect you- believe it!” 

And then Nanami outright laughed. Because this situation was hilarious. 

Hidan joined her, because he was always up for a bit of crazy cackling. Naruto and Jiraiya gave her startled, unsure looks.

“C’mon little bitch, quit screwing around.” Hidan called down to her.

“Nanami.” Kakuzu added, his patience thin. “It’s time to go home.” (and every inch of her loved the way he said that. Every last inch.)

She crouched just as Naruto was turning towards her, (Jiraiya wasn’t dumb enough to put his back to S-class missing-nin) and pushed off with hands and feet full of chakra, curving around the side of the leaf-nin and leaping to a lower branch like a jungle cat, and then another higher one before settling at Hidan’s side. His scythe clinked as he shifted it on his shoulder to look down at her. She smiled up at him, and he gave her his usual blood thirsty maniac grin in response.

“It was nice meeting you Naruto, be safe.” She called down as Hidan reached for her with a free arm to curl around her middle, lifting her like a sack of rice.

“The nine-tails? Seriously?” He asked her, she saw Beating Hearts green eyes flash down at her too. 

She gave an awkward shrug from where she hung at his hip. “Naruto is nice.” 

Said boy made a choking noise, looking like he was ready to climb up the tree by his fingernails and bring her back down. Jiraiya held him in place with a hand on the boys shoulder and a serious expression.

“Whatever you say brat.”

And they were gone just as quickly as they’d come, leaving two very confused Konoha shinobi in their wake.


	18. Home Again

“Nostalgia is a way of remembering people and places and wishing things hadn’t changed.”

* * *

 

It turned out that Nanami did get to see Loud Blood’s ritual. She even got a running commentary on how it felt and how he thought it worked. (He apparently, didn’t actually know.) He grinned the whole time, pleased by her attention which made him seem to want to talk even more.

Kakuzu on the other hand, looked pissed. Even his chakra felt pissed.

Nanami stayed well out of the way.

It was during this, she realized, that maybe he really was trying to get her on the Jashin bandwagon. Maybe it hadn’t been a joke or a game to him at all? And that thought made her feel silly because of  _ course;  _ Loud Blood would never joke about Jashin.

So it was as they traveled back towards Rivers that Nanami discovered that the Zombie Combo had stolen a valuable item from the village that smelled of sewage, from a group of very, very stupid men.

You’d have to be pretty stupid to chase after the Akatsuki with rusty knives, switchblades and a handful of C-rank jutsu.

It was a massacre. 

There were a lot of them, maybe fifteen men in total. Nanami perched high in the trees as Hidan let out a whoop of joy from his circle of blood. 

Kakuzu swept out a line of deadly threads, severing limbs and heads as it went. There was a clicking-cracking sound as his wind natured mask detached from his back to blast holes through the men attempting to circle around him.

There was blood everywhere. Nanami thought they looked beautiful and deadly, firmly entrenched in their elements.

A large man separated from the others who were falling like flies when he spotted her high in her tree. His smirk told her he thought she would be easy pickings in comparison (which she was.)

The moment he touched the bark of the trunk below her, his eyes gleaming in a disgusting way, she reached out with her chakra and brushed it along the trees. Projecting her desire to it through her chakra and although the tree wasn’t a exactly sentient thing, it responded to her with the groan of age old wood, and another more malleable branch bent and swept into the man’s back with a punishing force as he climbed.

She heard his spine crack with a wet echoing sound.

He fell back to the ground below, eyes glassy and stunned.

He didn’t get back up.

Hidan came over after another minute and toed at the man’s corpse. He looked up at her with a feral grin, slathered liberally in blood. It dripped off the tips of his hair- which was loose from its swept back position and lay in wet spikes in front of his eyes. He had multiple stab wounds littering his torso, all self inflicted.

“Fucking nice little bitch.” He praised her. 

She brightened, and grinned back at him with sharp little teeth.

* * *

 

Loud Blood threw her down on the couch in the great stone room hard enough to make her bounce off of it and land on the floor. 

She hissed at him, and he grinned at her with a brush at his now crunchy hair that was falling into his eyes before trudging his way to the bathroom to shower. 

She was glad, he smelled awful.

Beating Hearts on the other hand had managed to get out of the short lived battle in a much less ruffled and bloody state.

Beating Hearts always smelled nice. Maybe it was a product of the semi-immortal thing? He smelled like clean water and that old paper smell you get from books that are well loved.

Loud Blood would smell nice too if he wasn’t constantly slaughtering people and bathing in their innards. Ew.

Nanami rolled onto her back and propped her legs up above her onto the couch. She laid like that for a while, staring at the grey stone ceiling. It was a familiar sight. Comfortable. Even still, she hoped she’d get to go outside again soon. She loved her home, but it wasn’t beautiful like the outside was.

No, Nanami wasn’t here because it was aesthetically pleasing, she was here because she loved her Red Clouds.

“Have a good time?” Burning Earth said down to her as he shoved her feet off the couch and flopped himself over on it.

Nanami pushed herself away from the couch with her toes and stretched her arms above her head. Her back gave a satisfying pop and she heard Beating Hearts make a disgusted grunt from the table.

“Nanami did, thank you.” She told the blond man who was curling an arm to rest his eyes in the crook of his elbow.

“She made friends with the nine-tails.” Kakuzu informed them, she thought it was probably as punishment for popping her bones within hearing distance of him.

Raven Eyes lowered his book to hover above the table and gave her a calculating look. Burning Earth peaked at her with one, bright sky blue eye from under his arm.

Oceans head poked out of their open doorway.

“How did you manage that?” He asked her as he ambled over, dragging his sword across the floor with him; half bandaged with the rest of the unfinished roll trailing loosely after it.

He sat near her to the left of a particularly bad blood stain on the rug, and pulled the massive thing in his lap to finish.

She shrugged, propping herself up on her elbows so she could investigate how dirty her bare feet were from her time outside.

They were pretty dirty actually, she wiggled her toes a few times enjoying the feeling of gritty earth sliding between them. It reminded her of coming home from the beach.

“He sat under my tree.” She supplied. From the inside of the bathroom she heard Hidan cackling.

“He was alone?” Raven Eyes asked her. She shook her head.

“No, he’s still traveling with the toad sage.” Itachi made a humming sound. “Interesting.” and then he went back to his book, curiosity sated. 

No one asked how she knew about Jiraiya. Or even of him.

“Your hair is getting long, un.” Burning Earth commented even though his arm was covering his eyes. Nanami reached up with a little hand to pull a lock in front of her face. Yea, it was getting kind of long.

“Would you cut it for me?” She asked, letting the lock of hair flutter back down to rest against her shoulder; since he had brought it up after all. 

Burning Earth sat up with a put upon sigh like that wasn’t what he’d been aiming for to begin with. “Sure, Nanami-chan.” 

She knew him well enough to know he enjoyed grooming, (He was good at it too, his hair was always gorgeous) and she enjoyed it just as much when he did it, so it’s not like she was complaining. 

It had taken forever for him to warm up to her, but once he had she’d found herself sitting near him while he was armed with little rubber braid ties and a hair brush most mornings. (At least, when he was home. Burning Earth and False Pieces were gone more than anyone else.)

“Who’s turn is it to cook.” Oceans asked Burning Earth as the man slid off the couch and reached down to Nanami’s hair to tug at it; seemingly to test its length. He had an eye for those things. Nanami leaned into him and closed her eyes.

He gave a one shoulder shrug, and then paused, suddenly serious. Nanami cracked one eye back open as his movements stilled, and then her brow furrowed in concern at the sudden change in the blond man’s demeanor.

“I’m not sure, but I vote we order take out if it’s Hidan’s turn, un.” Nanami bit her lip in an effort not to laugh at how serious he sounded. She hid her face behind her hand so she could snicker quietly. 

The last time Hidan had made dinner, it hadn’t gone well. Actually, anytime he ‘cooked’ anything it didn’t go well. It usually came out of the kitchen looking just as raw and bloody as it did coming out of the package. This last time though he’d set the stove on fire. Beating Hearts had been furious, and Nanami had wholeheartedly agreed. She’d been the one to tally the expenses for the replacement and it had cost them the total sum of Burning Earth and False Pieces previous mission. 

It felt like a huge waste. They could have just stayed home with her- instead they ended up paying for a stove.

Nanami had chewed him out, upset by the waste of time and money that kept her Red Clouds away which of course had ended in a fight between them, and screaming accusations that she was spending too much time with Kakuzu and that she sounded too much like him. 

Beating Hearts had watched the entire display with an immensely pleased look on his face.

“Seconded.” Raven Eyes murmured from behind his book cover, bringing her back from her musings to the present conversation.

Nanami squinted at his book from her vantage point trying to read the title. It had too many kanji she didn’t know though, so she let it go as a lost cause.

“I think Raven Eyes cooked last.” Nanami offered, and she saw his eyes slide towards her over the top of his book. He ended up cooking the most, because he was the only one who was decent at it. She got the feeling he didn’t really like to though. She suspected it had something to do with memories of his family, but he never mentioned it, and she didn’t ask.

Nanami was also a decent cook, but she couldn’t reach the counter properly without a step stool and using the oven was a mystery to her. She was more used to cooking over an open flame- and they’d had plenty of that in the kitchen courtesy of Hidan. 

“Guess that makes it my turn. Now I regret asking.” Oceans muttered to himself, giving a harsh tug at the last of the wrappings Samehada wore.


	19. Child of the Akatsuki

"There is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone. A pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes.” -The unbearable light of being

* * *

 

Burning Earth got up and wandered into his room just as the bathroom door opened to pour out steam.

Hidan came out in a towel, scrubbing a hand through his white hair in an attempt to get it to lay flat like he normally liked it. He gave her a lopsided grin.

“Little bitch had her first kill while we were out.” He said in a flippant way that she knew wasn’t flippant at all as he wandered into his room.

Nanami felt uncomfortable by the amount of attention she was suddenly getting. Burning Earth came back around with a pair of scissors a comb and a considering look when he caught her eyes. False Pieces came out after his partner, pulling at the collar of his cloak as his intense almond shaped eyes landed on her as well. He leaned against the door frame with crossed arms, waiting.

Itachi actually put the whole book down. Closed it and everything.

Oceans chuckled, that deep reverberating sound that she adored. 

The only one who didn’t seem to care was Beating Hearts, and that was probably because he had been there. She could hear him making tea somewhere in the kitchen; ignoring them.

“Uhm.” She said intelligently as Loud Blood came back into the room with his customary outfit of nothing but pants and threw himself bodily onto the floor like a slob.

“It’s not that big of a deal… Nanami-” She received a sharp look from Oceans who hated her childish habit of speaking in the third person, “I kill Loud Blood all the time.” She corrected as Deidara sat on the couch behind her. He pulled her into a sitting position by the back of her shirt and adjusted her shoulders to his liking before pulling her mass of sandy brown hair into his lap. 

There was silence for a moment. It felt… expectant. 

Nanami chewed her lip unsure of what to say. She didn’t usually talk about herself, it made her… uncomfortable.

“Well?” Sasori prompted from the doorframe, the most impatient of all of them.

She opened her mouth, and then promptly closed it when she realized that no words were coming out. Burning Earth starting running the comb through the ends of her hair, pulling out little bits of leaves as he went.

Loud Blood snorted at her from his sprawled position on the floor. 

“A group of ass holes tracked us down not long after we retrieved the item. Some stupid fucking thing that dimyo wanted.” he told the occupants of the room.

“I stayed in the trees. There were a lot of them.” Nanami offered, eyes sliding over to Loud Blood who’s purple eyes were watching her, he was enjoying her discomfort too much.

“But one man pulled away from the others, I think he noticed me and thought I’d be an easy target.” Here Hidan snorted rudely. She wasn’t sure if she should be flattered or not at the sound.

“He tried to climb up my tree.” She continued, “So Nanami asked- I asked the tree to kill him.” She explained.

She received a lot of blank stares. The comb in her hair stilled.

“What.” Oceans spoke for everyone.

“She just fucking sat there and watched this fat ass climb up towards her. I thought for sure she was fucking stupid and she was just waiting to die like a dumb shit.” Hidan told them laughingly, like her death would be the funniest thing ever.

“Then one of the branches behind the fucker just swings around and smashed into his ugly ass. It was fucking brutal I heard his spine snap from where I was.” He continued excitedly. Nanami was a little relieved that he’d picked up the story. He obviously enjoyed telling it anyways. The comb in her hair resumed, scraping pleasantly against her scalp a few times before Burning Earth set it aside to start undoing the little braids behind her ear.

Kakuzu came back in with a cup of tea. He sat at the table casual as you please without looking at any of them.

He took a sip of the steaming liquid, and the occupants of the room turned to him, as if seeking confirmation for Hidan’s version of events.

He put his cup down on the table with the muted sound of ceramic on wood.

When he nodded a heavy sort of air descended on the room.

It was quiet for a minute.

Sasori sighed, uncrossing his arms from his chest and came away from the wall.

“We can’t keep this from Leader-sama forever. They’re going to find out.”

Burning Earth’s fingers stilled in their work of undoing the braids behind her ear. “Then we tell them, un.” He said from behind her, as if it was the obvious choice. 

Nanami wasn’t sure what to think about the occupants of the room discussing her future like this, but she trusted them. They were her Red Clouds, and whatever decision was reached she trusted it would be for the best.

“Not yet.” Raven Eyes shot it down with that tone that said ‘I know something you don’t know’, he folded his hands gracefully together on top of the cover of his hardback.

Burning Earth scowled, he didn’t particularly like Raven Eyes.

“Why is it such a big deal, seriously. Kid can hold her own that’s a fucking good thing.” Hidan grumbled as Deidara pulled the bell and a feather from her hair. 

“She may be perceived as a danger to the organization.” Kakuzu explained to his mentally slow teammate.

Silence descended on the occupants of the great stone room again.

“We’re all she’s ever known, un.” Deidara spoke up softly- and Nanami sighed, because while that was mostly true, it wasn’t  _ entirely  _ true.

Regardless of any distant life she may have had though, she would do anything for her Red Clouds. 

They were her whole life- this life- the only life that mattered anymore. They encompassed every good memory she had, every worthwhile thing she’d ever done, she’d done for  _ these _ men in _ this  _ room.

They were hers, as much as she was theirs.

Nanami looked up from her thoughts to find herself once again under the scrutiny of the majority of the occupants in the room.

“I would do anything for my Red Clouds.” she told them with every inch of conviction she had within her. 

“Be that as it may.” Raven Eyes said, ever the devils advocate. 

Burning Earth shifted behind her, and she heard the first snip of scissors and the soft flutter of severed hair fell to the ground beside her.

“We might be able to sway Leader-sama.” Oceans said smoothing a hand over the bandages wrapped around Samehada.

“We can’t defend her forever.” False Pieces pointed out.

“The bitch can defend herself.” Loud Blood bit out argumentatively from his sprawled position on the floor. 

“Nanami can tell Leader-sama.” She agreed.

“When the time comes.” Beating Hearts agreed as well, his acid green eyes held her from where he sat, and within their depths was an emotion she recognized, but not one she’d ever thought she’d see on him.

She filed the moment away deep within herself, so that some day when she needed it, she could pull it out and roll the precious, intangible thing in her hands and remember. 

Remember that she was wanted. That she belonged somewhere.

And Nanami realized in that moment, surrounded by her brothers in the underground base that was her home that even if Pein and Zetsu decided her existence wasn’t worth the trouble- that she had lived a life she was proud of. Full of people she loved and memories that were  _ worth something. _

Oceans stood up, bringing the handle of his massive sword with him. “I’m going to go cook dinner.”

And with that the matter seemed settled.

* * *

 

The first thing Jiraiya did upon returning to their hotel was to dig for his note book, and meticulously spend the next fifteen minutes unsealing it and undoing the traps inside the cover. 

Naruto was complaining loudly all the while.

“We have to go after her ero-sennin, we can’t just leave her with those creeps what if-”

“Naruto.” He cut the boy off as he began to flip through the pages to find the one from two years ago that he was looking for. “She went with them willingingly, and we can’t just go chasing after Akatsuki members.” 

Naruto wasn’t willing to give up so easily however. “She obviously brainwashed or something! She’s just a little girl! She’s not even a shinobi!” He stomped his foot on the floor boards, determination bright in his eyes. 

Jiraiya missed this as he read over the page he’d copied from his most valuable informant. 

_ Wild child collected from the forest of rivers, brought into the fold. Still alive. Possesses strange knowledge leader finds interest in. _

Jiraiya grit his teeth in frustration and turn a couple of pages to a date not far from the first report. 

_ Snake sannin has made several attempts at coercing members into providing him with the wild child, members have thus far refused his offers. _

“There’s nothing we can do kid.” Jiraiya told him absently as he flipped to a new page from last year, skipping over reports in between that held no mention of the little girl they’d made contact with.

_ Child of Akatsuki still lives, posses a strange kekkei genkai that allows her to touch and guide nature chakra. Defining qualities unknown at this time. No aptitude or ability shown at ninjutsu, or genjutsu. Possesses formidable flexibility and speed learned from various members. Uses a self-taught taijutsu that members refer to as ‘animal stance’. _

His breath hitched but he read on. He hadn’t taken these sections of the reports seriously when he’d first received them. Too concerned with the tid bits about the actual members, their locations, what their movements were. He felt foolish for it now.

He turned to another page. “You can’t really believe that old man,” Naruto continued angrily.

_ Child of Akatsuki rates at high intelligence under ability to understand and absorb information. Strong sensor-type. The child has endeared herself to the members of the organization. She is loyal in return to them with unwavering certainty. Has a non-manipulative personality. She is malleable, honest, kind. _

Another page, a few months ago.

_ Child of Akatsuki has possible knowledge of future events.  _

_ Some Akatsuki members are aware, and work in tandem to keep this information from leader. _

Jiraiya snapped the book shut and contemplated whether it would be a good idea to burn this one like he had all the others. He let out a breath, unsure of what to think now that he’d met the girl in the flesh. He’d known there was something off about her. ‘Raven Eyes’ she’d said, must have been a reference to Itachi...

“I’m not giving up on her.” Naruto interrupted his thoughts. He looked over at the boy to find him sitting on the edge of his hotel bed, a fire burning in his blue eyes.

“Naruto… we can’t just assume she’s helpless, she could be very dangerous. All Akatsuki are.” 

Naruto stood his mouth twisting into a hard line. 

“No. She’s a good kid. We’re going to get her out of there.” And Jiraiya sighed, because he knew once the son of the fourth had set his mind to something, there would be no changing it. If he truly believed she was a good person, nothing would sway him.

“Alright kid, if we see her again we’ll try.” and this seemed to satisfy the boy.

Jiraiya pulled out a fresh sheet of paper from the writing desk next to his own bed and contemplated how he would write this report to Tsunade. 

He put the pen tip down as Naruto ambled over to watch him write over his shoulder. It was moot since Naruto didn’t know anything about code.

_ Child of the Akatsuki... _ began one of the strangest reports he’d ever written.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last tid part was a prompt requested by one.who.reads.too.much and lizyeh2000, (From FF.net) Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers!


	20. Bodies (Ghosts)

“Silence is not the absence of something, but the presence of everything.”

“Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. Their silence is your answer.” –Javik

* * *

 

It was quiet when she crawled out of her cabinet one morning. The air had a stillness to it; and when Nanami breathed it in she knew.

There was no chakra here. Her Red Clouds were all away. 

She was alone. (She didn’t like being alone.)

The stone beneath her feet was cold, and it made her feel unsettled as she made her way to Loud Blood and Beating Hearts open door. 

The room was just as they'd left it. A necklace made of darkwood and red vine hung on the wall above Hidan’s bed from a crooked kunai, the bed had covers strewn half on the mattress and half on the floor. 

Nanami took a minute to tuck them back into place and smooth her little hands across it's surface. He didn’t really like it when she picked up after him-  _ “You're not our mother little bitch.” _

But she needed something to distract her from the empty feeling of her home. (The empty feeling inside her. Without them, she lacks purpose, she lacks a reason.)

She exhaled as she settled the pillow in its proper place, and the sound of her own breathing was jarring. Nanami placed a knee up onto of the newly made bed, and then the other, and she stretched an arm up to the necklace she’d made for him so long ago. She chewed her bottom lip, fingers hesitating just before its surface. She traced the familiar lines with her eyes.

When she touched it, it was cold. She wasn’t sure if she’d been expecting something from the contact. A light maybe, or a feeling.

She just felt… well, nothing really.

Nanami wondered what it might feel like to have a purpose as solid and permanent as a god like Jashin. She thought maybe she might understand Hidan in his fanatical devotion a little better when she thought about how temporary her place was here.

(This couldn’t last forever. It wouldn’t.)

She retracted her hand, (a little disappointed) bringing it back to her chest and she left Loud Bloods space alone to make her way to Beating Hearts. 

It was immaculate as always. She smoothed her hands over his covers too, just for something to take up the time. She straightened the stack of books she knew contained old numbers and new bounties on the table that sat at the foot of his bed.

Nanami collected the pile of papers he left there for her, and made her way back into the great stone room. She paused in the doorway and turned back for a moment, eyes sweeping over the shared bedroom. Trying to memorize it. (Memorize the people who lived here.)

She turned away, suddenly finding it difficult to breath and placed the papers on the low table of the main room. Her barefeet slid across the stone, if it weren’t for the sound of her breathing in the quiet she might have confused herself with a ghost.

(She might as well be.)

She left them there, and took a turn in each room to pick things up off the floors, and tuck in sheets. She left False Pieces mess alone, the last time she’d attempted at straightening it she’d earned herself a bloody welt across her shoulder that had stung for days. 

She’d remember that for the rest of her life too. (She promised. She would remember when there was no one else to do it. For all of them.)

As she moved she began to hum. First things from this world, but as time wore on she chose songs from her last.

She made breakfast with only her voice as company, she focused on cleaning the rice, and washing the few dishes someone had left in the sink. The sound of water running from the faucet was comforting.

Then she sat at the table to work on the accounts. Her scratching pen and absent humming distracting her from the biting cold. She’d have to get her blanket out from her sleeping cubby, if the chill in the air and the way it seeped into her skin from the stone was anything to go by.

When she finished with her morning task she sat back, leaning on her arms to look up at the ceiling.

She hadn’t realized she was crying until the cold of the room brushed against her wet cheeks.

She laughed a little, a sad distorted wet sound- but stopped almost immediately when it startled her too badly. 

“Crap.” She said to no one instead.

It wasn’t often that she was left alone like this, this was only her third time.

She hated it. (Too much time to think, to know.)

On the first night, she crept in the absolute dark and crawled into Beating Hearts bed.

She only got to sleep in their room when they were away, too shy to ask when they were here. Nanami was closest to Beating Hearts and Loud Blood, but they didn’t share the softer kind of dynamic that she had with Raven Eyes or Burning Earth. 

She thought they probably wouldn’t be very receptive to that kind of thing.

But as she lay curled in his blankets, in a dark that was so complete she couldn’t see her own movements, encased in the scent of clean water and old paper she thought maybe she might ask someday. (If there was time.)

On the second night she slept in Oceans bed, and shivered despite the warmth of his comforter.

His blankets smelled like brine and sea salt. She loved it- but at the same time it reminded her. It reminded her of the end of things.

On her third day, she sneezed constantly, and she carried around some tissue from the bathroom to wipe at her runny nose while wrapped in her own blanket.

It didn’t help. She still felt cold. (empty)

On her fourth day, she made dinner twice because the first time she sneezed on it and it seemed like as good an excuse as any to keep busy.

Her fifth day she ran out of accounts, so instead she organized Raven Eyes book shelf by size and color- because she didn’t know enough kanji to alphabetize it like she would have preferred. This led her to pulling out one of the books he had been using to teach her to write with before they’d moved on to other things and she made a token effort at studying.

It didn’t last long, it was too difficult to understand without guidance, and her heart wasn’t in it. 

On her sixth night, she cried again. 

She cried because she was cold, and miserable, and empty and she missed them  _ so much _ . 

(And they weren’t even really gone yet.)

She cried because her bones ached and her head felt stuffy and she wished they were here to complain about her sneezing. She wished Loud Blood was here to yell at her, or Raven Eyes to give her those sharp looks when she said too much about things she shouldn’t know.

She wished Oceans was here to brush his chakra past hers and remind her of the greatest love she had felt in more than one life. (She loved them all so much.)

She wished Beating Hearts and Burning Earth were here to make those small gestures to remind her she belonged somewhere. That she was wanted.

She wished for False Pieces, and his silent acceptance. His allowances that said more than any words he might have chosen.

Nanami cried, because she mourned a future she didn’t know how to change. Didn’t think she could change.

Nanami cried- wet, hacking, loud sobs that were messy and undignified and she filled the silence with her broken heart, and she allowed something within herself to die a little. Because she wasn’t sure if when the time came she could make it through if she had to let this feeling die all at once.

(What would she do without them? What purpose would her existence serve then?)

Nanami cried her shame to no one, except maybe the cold, and the empty- but they would never tell. The silence would always keep her secrets.

On her seventh day she wandered aimlessly from room to room. The quiet pressing down on her, and all the songs she could have offered it she already had. They had been swallowed up and she was left with nothing.

Before she went to bed, she found herself sitting before the main door. Waiting. Straining for chakra signatures that weren’t coming. She sat there for a long time before she even realized what she was doing.

She felt like a dog waiting for her master’s return. She didn’t care, because at least right now- they would return. (Someday, there would be no one to come home. No one for her to wait for.)

She sneezed again.

Nanami crawled into Loud Bloods bed that night, and was surprised to find it smelled mostly of clean linen and the shampoo he favored. She buried her face into his pillow and curled herself tight against the wall, and as she fell asleep, she hoped for herself just this one thing-

That if they had to die, that maybe she could be allowed to as well.

* * *

 

The Zombie Combo descended the stairs, Hidan taking the lead with a loping eagerness. Kakuzu followed behind him at a more sedate pace. 

They entered the main door only to have an empty room and silence to greet them, they exchanged a look with furrowed brows. 

Nanami always knew when they were coming. This had never happened before.

“Maybe the bitch is still asleep?” Hidan questioned more to himself than his partner. It was odd though… she should have been up for hours by now. 

Kakuzu noted the stack of completed ledgers on the low table, and the dark and empty doorway to the bathroom as they entered the kitchen. 

“She’s not here.” Hidan informed him from his crouched position before the open cabinet doors. 

“Check the Uchiha’s bed.” He grunted to the man, and they separated while he went to check Deidara’s. They met back in the great stone room moments later, and purple and acid green traveled to their own open bedroom door.

“You don’t think…” Hidan trailed off.

“There isn’t anywhere else.” He told the white haired man gruffly. “Go get her I’m going to make tea.” and with that they separated once again. 

It was quiet for a moment, and then-

“ _ Kakuzu!” _ The startled cry had him putting down the tea cup he’d just fetched on the counter with a clack. 

He turned, the sound footsteps hitting stone brought Hidan, and held limply across his arms like a virgin sacrifice was the tiny form of Nanami. Hidan held her out to him with eyes that shined with that hint of madness.

Her face was flushed, her hair plastered to her face and neck with sweat, her breathing wet and ragged. Her eyes were closed, her body slumped bonelessly in the man’s arms.

Her skin was a little too white, her little fingers and toes a little too blue. Kakuzu absently noted the feather in her hair was ruined.

She looked so small. Like the child she was.

Hidan was practically bouncing from foot to foot with a slightly panicked expression. He always was dramatic.

“She was in my bed.” Hidan told him nonsensically.

Kakuzu frowned, and laid a hand on her forehead.

Her skin burning.

“She’s ill.” He told Hidan.

“Well no fucking shit. What the fuck do we do ass hole!” Kakuzu was not surprised to hear the note of concern in the other man’s voice, he too had no idea what to do with illness; being immortal put a damper on that part of his and Hidan’s existence.

“Lay her on the couch.” Because he wasn’t sure what else to do, but he was sure the cold air probably wasn’t helping. 

The white haired man did as he was bid without complaint, which was surprising in itself. Kakuzu retrieved the girls blankets from underneath the sink and made his way into the living room to curl them around her.

Hidan and Kakuzu shared another look.

“Now what.” Hidan asked him with an uncharacteristic nervous twist of his hands into the fabric of his pants.

Kakuzu remained silent. He didn’t know. 

He had never tended to a sick child before.

It was then that she blinked open bleary eyes that were clouded with fever. A weak smile curled the corners of her mouth when she saw them.

She said a string of words that neither one of them understood, harsh, heavy sounding words in a strange cadence.

Hidan and Kakuzu both frowned. That hadn’t sounded anything like japanese...

“Am I dreaming again?” she murmured in real words this time and Kakuzu watched as Hidan knelt on the floor at the side of the couch to pull a wet strand of hair away from her eyes.

“Stupid bitch, going and getting yourself sick what the fuck were you thinking.” He huffed in annoyance that thinly veiled the concern.

She blinked slowly, and unraveled a tiny arm from her blankets to reach up and touch the man’s cheek.

He let her.

“I would kill all the Nara in the world if it meant I could keep you.” She whispered to him brokenly.

Hidan looked up at Kakuzu in confusion, and her hand fell away from him to hang over the side of the cushion. Her eyes slid shut lethargically before she blinked them open again rapidly and looked up at Kakuzu. Her pupils were large, swallowing the majority of her brown iris.

“It’s all Zetsu’s fault…” She murmured to him. 

Silence reigned, and Hidan looked startled and unsure. Kakuzu felt the way his partner looked. 

“She has a fever.” Kakuzu explained to him and maybe a little bit to himself, and Hidan for all his bluster and idiotic choices, was not completely stupid and he gave his partner a flat, doubtful look. Because yes, she had a fever- and yet...

She had never met the strange plant man- and as far as Kakuzu and Hidan were aware no one had mentioned him in her presence.

Nanami sometimes said odd things.

Things she shouldn’t know.

“We should contact someone.” Hidan offered, and Kakuzu nodded in agreement. They were not the best option for this situation. 

“Do it.” 


	21. Once Upon a Nightmare

“On the way to sacred shores, in the arms of a life we adore. Moonlight shows a white design, that’s been waiting for a chance to seize the soul once more” -Once Upon A Nightmare, Epica

"Some trees flourish, others die. Some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. Some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. Ain't nothing fair. You know that." - John Marston

* * *

 

Nanami dreamed she was a magpie. 

Her feathers were black and white and she quite liked them, she liked the way the wind combed through them when she stretched wide and leapt from tall branches to glide to the ground. She liked the clean, sleek feel of feathers attached to skin attached to bone that gleamed in the sunlight.

Nanami had a mission- but because it was a dream (she knew this in the way she knew the sun was a star- she  _ knew _ but she didn’t  _ understand. _ ) it was a bit nonsensical. 

She was collecting eyes for her nest.

Pretty purple eyes that she found deep underground buried beneath earth to lie forgotten, and acid green in a sea of red that she’d battled lightning and wind to have. They waited for her above, cushioned softly like precious things in down feathers she had shed just to keep them safe.

She added a bright sky blue eye that she stole from clouds that burned with fire, and a deep chocolate brown eye that reminded her of warm desert sands that she brought to her nest from a ruined cave. She nuzzled her collection around lovingly with her beak. There was a vague sense of horror that didn’t quite penetrate deep enough to make her pause as she worked for long and diligent hours to bring these eyes home.

She was just a bird after all.

Nanami searched high and low for a pair of deep black eyes that shifted to red and swirled. Her wings beat at the air, swooping through branches with a sense of urgency she didn’t understand.

_ Running out of time... _

When she did find them, it was with a stab of hurt that she realized they had already been claimed by a boy. He blinked over his prizes, and Nanami mourned their loss with a deep sense of despair that she knew birds probably couldn’t feel.

Nanami fluttered her wings from her high branch, and she watched as the boy shed tears of blood for his lost kin, he sat on his knees in the mud looking for all the world like his life was full of regrets and pain- and if she wasn’t a bird she would of cried with him. She trilled instead, a soft sad song that fluttered down to the boy to join his sorrow.

She left him behind, because she still had silver eyes to find… silver eyes like ocean foam…

sea salt… and... sand…

And as dreams are wont to do, suddenly she was no longer dreaming of her magpie self, but her regular child’s body, swathed in blankets with burning skin.

She blinked lacksidizically, and in her dream above her head, hanging on the wall was the symbol of Jashin-sama.

She smiled up at it, and even this small movement made her feel tired. She suddenly wished for the return of her feathers and hollow bones.

She was so light in that body.

Nanami lolled her head to the side, the back of her neck was sticky and wet and she thought this was a sucky dream in comparison.

Across from her was another bed, and standing between her and it were three people she recognized.

Even in dreams. (She would remember them forever.)

She blinked again, tired. Weak. She found it difficult to breath.

“Itachi” she whispered, and the name felt strange on her tongue, because she never used their names- but she thought it would be okay because this was only a dream.

The three stopped talking and turned to her, and she suddenly bore the gaze of acid green within red, deep purple and…

She sighed in relief. “You still have your eyes.”

This dream was better than the last then, and even as she realized it something wet and hot rolled down her cheek.

Two of them shared what she thought might be a startled look, but the deep pools of black held hers. Those eyes knew. They could see through her, into her. They saw her into dreams and knew.

He looked tired, the deep lines of stress underneath his eyes seemed more shadowed than usual. He looked as tired as she felt.

“Nanami,” and she knew she must be dreaming, because Hidan would never call her by her name. “What exactly is all Zetsu’s fault?” 

Nanami registered the words like they had come from far away, like through a phone with bad reception. 

She reached up weakly to touch her eyelids, just make sure she still had her own eyes. They were wet, but they were there.

“ _ Everything _ .” She breathed to dream Hidan, and she hadn’t meant for it to sound so… vindictive. 

She gave him a slow, sad smile then. “He wants mother... that’s why he ruined Akatsuki… that’s why he… why… the Uchiha are cursed…”

She trailed off, eyes sliding shut tiredly. Hoping for a new dream of a new animal and a new skin. She liked her nonhuman skins. Maybe a deer this time would be nice. She thought she’d like to be a deer.

“Nanami” someone called again from far away, and she mustered up the last of her energy to look at them, because they were her purpose, her reason for being. She would give them anything.

“How much do you know” Kakuzu asked her in his deep voice, and she blinked, trying to understand the question through the fog in her brain.

This was a strange dream.

She wanted to tell him she’d read all of the Naruto mangas and had seen most of the show, because really- who hadn’t? It was a great story…

“Everything.” She said again instead, because that other thing would of been too many words and too much energy she didn’t have.

The three of them looked at eachother, and her words seemed to confirm something she’d missed.

They didn’t look happy about it.

“Rest, Nanami. Keep your silence.” Dream Itachi said to her in a resigned voice.

“Okay,” she whispered agreeably, and she wondered then, why it was that she was crying. Why something was clawing its way up her throat at the sight of them.

Why she felt so ashamed, so hopeless. (She couldn’t remember, she was so tired.)

She closed her eyes, moisture slipping silently down her cheeks and moved on to the next dream, she hoped it would be something nice this time. 

She was tired of watching them die.

* * *

 

The next time Nanami opened her eyes, she felt… confused, disoriented and her skin was burning and she ached all over. The room spun in an unpleasant sensation that reminded her of the aftereffects of a drink she’d had in a distant life.

It was too dark to see.

Someone shifted next to her, warm hands pulled her closer to lay their chin on top of her head. A blanket was tugged higher up her shoulders.

“Go back to sleep little bitch.” Hidan’s voice whispered into the void. She clutched at his shirt (his shirt?) and it felt real enough… she let it go to reach up and touch the skin of his cheek in the dark, it also felt real.

“Is Kakuzu okay?” she breathed the name over flashes of surreal flat images that showed her an electrified fist that wore fingerless gloves punching through a tan chest and exploding out of a porcelain mask.

Someone grunted on the other side of the room, and she allowed herself to relax then, because they were both here and that was good enough for now.

* * *

 

There was… something stuck to her forehead.

…what? 

It wasn’t cloth but it was cool… and thin like… paper maybe. Why did she have paper on her...

She blinked open bleary eyes but closed them again because it was too damn bright. “Loud Blood?” She called quietly instead, and her voice cracked a little and she felt shame for it.

There was the sound of shifting cloth, and someone sat on the edge of the bed she lay on. 

The paper was removed from her skin, only to be replaced with a new piece, this one cooler, crisper.

“I’m afraid it’s just us for now.” A feminine voice told her.

Nanami froze, because there were no women other than her. (Woman? Girl?) She forced her eyes open again, despite the way the light seemed to split her brain in two, her eyes met purple hair and orange irises.

Her chakra felt like millions of humming birds beating their wings into the air in a desperate attempt at remaining airborne.

It was a weird chakra signature.

“Oh.” She said for lack of anything better to say. The woman’s face was blank and apathetic as she sat there. Nanami had a lot of things she wanted to say, to ask. But she was tired.

“I’m Nanami.” She introduced herself instead. The older woman frowned at her.

“Konan.” She stated in a clipped sort of way.

Nanami closed her eyes then, because she didn’t have anything else to say right now, and Konan clearly had no interest in talking to her.

She rolled over to face the wall, curling into blankets that smelled like Hidan. It was quiet for a long time, hours maybe, but Konan stayed.

“Hummingbird.” She murmured after a while, naming the woman.

“Hm?” Came the small sound of inquiry.

“Everyone gets a name.” A familiar voice stated laughingly at the doorway.

_ Oceans _

Nanami was instantly pushing herself to sit up, but regretted it when her body screamed in protest. A wave of nausea had bile rising into the back of her mouth. She swallowed it down, disgusted. She coughed around the taste, and it made her chest feel tight.

“Oceans.” She called even as Hummingbird's delicate hand was reaching out to push her back down to lay. It didn’t take much force.

“I see.” She told Kisame, although it didn’t really sound like she did. Kisame grinned, leaning against the door jam with folded arms.

“You have pneumonia. Don’t get up.” The woman told Nanami next.

“How long have I been asleep?” She asked anyone who would answer.

“Four or five days.” Oceans told her flippantly. 

She sighed, so much lost time that she could never have back. So much time she could have spent making memories with Red Clouds. (She was running out of time…)

“They asked me to come when you weren't getting any better. You’re fever broke last night.” Hummingbird informed her in a flat tone.

Oceans chuckled again; like it was a good joke, and he turned to leave; curiosity apparently sated. He pulled the door shut and it clicked behind him.

Quiet descended on them again, and Nanami felt herself drifting off; falling backwards into the bed in a disoriented sort of sensation that might mean she was either about to faint or fall asleep.

“You talk in your sleep.” Konan’s voice informed her. Nanami made a small effort to make a noise of acknowledgement.

“You might have lived a longer life if you had avoided the Akatsuki.” She said next after a short pause; and Nanami thought it was a useless thing to point out, because she didn’t care.

She didn’t care about what her life  _ could have _ been, because what she had was exactly what she wanted. Even if she didn’t live to be twelve, or fifteen, or twenty, or forty five. Nanami  _ didn’t care _ .

“What is life without the people you love.” She murmured in answer. 

Another long silence, and Hummingbird’s chakra flicked about in thought, apparently considering her words.

“I see.” She said finally, a little softer, a little less apathetic. 

The paper on her forehead lifted itself away to be replaced by a new one. The chakra inside it soothed her ragged nerves.

* * *

 

The door clicked shut behind him, and many eyes looked up at his entrance into the great stone room.

“She up?” Hidan grunted at him. Kisame grinned at the white haired man, all sharp teeth and good humor. 

“Why, worried?” 

Hidan folded his arms and turned his face away, leaning back into the couch. “Tch, shut the fuck up.”

Like all of them didn’t already know the Jashinist was soft on her. In a ‘how much can I make you bleed before Kakuzu cuts my head off’ kind of way.

“I don’t understand why you insist on keeping the creature underfoot.” Zetsu said softly from the far corner.

“Why do you even care.” Deidara snapped at the plant man with a sweep at his long bangs. Next to him Sasori rolled his eyes like he felt the entire thing was a waste of time. He probably did.

Itachi put his cup down on the table just as Kakuzu picked his up. Neither of them had anything to say.

“Akatsuki will mobilize in six months time.” Pein smoothly interjected, getting them all back on track. “We will begin by retrieving the ichibi.” He reiterated. Sasori narrowed his eyes on their leader but didn’t voice his complaints aloud.

“This task will fall to Sasori and Deidara, but everyone’s presence will necessary for the extraction. Contingency plans A and D and in effect.” He monotoned.

His ripple patterned eyes slid to the door Kisame stood at for a moment as he considered.

“This base will be left behind, for the extraction we will utilize the secondary Rivers location, afterwards we will move to the base on the border of Rain and Rivers.” He crossed his arms as he spoke. 

“Either leave the girl behind or take her with you. I don’t care.” He paused and then added. “Find a use for her if you must, we don’t have time for dead weight.”

There wasn’t any question what choice they would take. Except maybe for Itachi, who secretly wished she could have the opportunity to have a normal life somewhere, but respected her choice enough to know that’s not what she wanted.

She knew too much, besides.

“Bitch can hold her own.” Hidan quipped, the only one of them who bothered being mouthy to their leader.

“If she gets in the way, I expect you will know how to handle it.” Pein continued as if the man hadn’t even spoken. 

“In the next six months we will begin several preparations...”

And the day wore on for the Akatsuki, for the whole world would soon know their names- and it would not a be pleasant thing.


	22. Frustration (Disconnect)

“I crave a love so deep the ocean would be jealous.”

“I saw that you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect, and I loved you even more.”

* * *

 

After three days Nanami felt restless. 

It must have been early, she mused to herself when she cracked her eyes open to see Loud Blood drooling onto his pillow with relaxed features. His brow lack its usual furrow, his eyebrows set in smooth lines that didn’t twist inwards in anger. 

Her eyes softened as she looked at him. He looked… young. When he was asleep. She brushed a hand across the white bangs that had fallen into his face.

She sat up as quietly as she could, and little hands brought the blanket up to cover Hidan’s bare shoulders. She slipped off the bed, noticing Beating Hearts was empty and slunk her way across the room to the door that was cracked open. 

Her throat itched, and she clamped down on a wet cough with an iron will. 

Nanami slipped into the great stone room, intent on having a cup of tea and doing her morning ledgers, a shower would be nice too actually.

“Nanami.” She froze mid step, and turned slowly to see Raven Eyes leaning against his door frame.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, asking without words if she should be up. 

She smiled at him, and relaxed a little. “I wanted some tea.” She offered an explanation. She looked away from him, over at Kakuzu who was watching the two of them from the table, pen hovering above a slip of paper. 

“Hm.” Itachi acknowledged her with a  scrutinizing look. “Go and sit.” He told her, and she did with a bright smile, because at least he wasn’t telling her to go back to bed.

She folded herself down onto her regular cushion at Beating Hearts side, and he slid the top most section of papers over to her without a word. 

She picked up the extra pen and got to work, pleased to return to something that felt normal. 

Her Red Clouds were home, and for now, the gnawing quiet was gone. She would appreciate what little time they had left together before… well.

Her scratching pen paused and Nanami buried her face into the crook of her arm to muffle her coughing.

Itachi’s chakra signature came back around and he placed a ceramic cup on the table to the side of her papers. 

“Thank you.” She told him, her voice a little raw, and she meant it. 

She reached for it, and immediately enjoyed the way the the tea warmed ceramic seeped heat into her fingers. She sighed peacefully as Raven Eyes nodded to her and sat himself across from them with a book. 

“Seriously” Loud Blood grouched as he came into the room. He dragged his comforter with him, and Nanami did a double take because- what.

She hid a giggle behind her cup, he looked like a kid with that mop of silver bedhead, and his droopy tired eyes dragging a blanket behind him. 

She didn’t have to wonder long when he stopped beside her, towering over her with a glower. He dropped blanket on top of her head with a scowl. 

“You’re finally starting to look less like a fucking corpse- what are you trying to do, fucking walking around like that seriously. Dumb shit.” and he complained all the way to the bathroom where he slammed the door shut behind him. 

Nanami pulled the blanket around her front and hunched a little over her tea. Grateful for both. Loud Blood cared too in his own annoying, grating way. 

She put the cup down to pick her pen back up.

Next to her, Kakuzu green eyes slid over to catch hers. His hand came off the table to lightly fall on top of her head for a moment. He was warm, and the gesture was comforting.

His eyes slid away, retracting the hand and went back to his papers.

Nanami bit her lip, and then gave up and smiled like she’d just received everything she’d ever wanted in life.

She supposed she had.

* * *

 

Nanami couldn't help but think that everyone was behaving a little… oddly.

She bit her lip in thought, eyes sliding over to Hidan who sat  _ quietly _ on the couch next to her. He had his chin resting in the palm of his hand, elbow on his knee as he leaned forward. His purple eyes stared at nothing. 

Oceans was sprawled about on her other side, arms akimbo as he rested the back of his head of the back of the couch so his could look up at the ceiling. 

Raven Eyes was in his room somewhere… her gaze swept over to his door as she chewed her lip. He hadn’t come out of his room at all today.

Burning Earth was in the kitchen, making a large amount of noise while he prepared dinner. Sasori hovered near the counters, harassing the blond man over one thing or another. 

“You don’t even eat, un! _ ”  _ Came Deidara’s indignant cry from the other side of the dividing wall. 

Kakuzu chose that moment to come gracefully striding from his own room and settle himself down at the table with a scroll he didn’t even look up from as he walked. 

He seemed… distracted.

They all seemed distracted.

And Nanami didn’t want to pry, it wasn’t any of her business, but…

(She was running out of time.)

Oceans soothing chakra washed over her as she absently twisted her hands together in thought. There was a sting in her lip and a bitter copper taste that told her she’d bitten it too hard.

“I told you not to chew.” Hidan told her, his vivid purple iris resting on her from the corner of his eye without turning his head. Nanami gave him a hesitant smile for lack of anything to say.

On her other side Oceans  _ sighed. _

What the fuck.

She stood up with a suddenness that had hands reflexively twitching towards weapons. 

Nanami growled low in her throat and turned on the two men sitting on the couch. They were already watching her, a set of silver guarded eyes and a glowing madness behind purple.

She didn’t say anything, didn’t ask. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. (She was afraid of the answer.) But she stared them down, glowering at them from her small height that basically had her level with their sitting ones.

When they kept their silence, she looked over at Beating Hearts who was also watching her, scroll held loosely in his hands. 

He didn’t say anything either. 

Deidara came out of the kitchen looking pissed as hell, followed by an overly smug Sasori.

“Foods done.” The blond hissed, and then stopped when he saw her, blue eyes flicking between her and the occupants in the room. 

If anything Sasori looked even more smug. “I told you she’d figure it out.” 

“We didn’t even say shit.” Loud Blood spat at the red head.

Oceans sighed again, and that was about all Nanami could take of this uncharacteristic behavior. 

She stomped her little foot onto the floor like a three year old having a tantrum. She was sure her face was red right now. She was beyond frustrated. 

Little cracks spread along the stone beneath her foot.

“You didn’t have to.” She told Loud Blood. “You’re all acting weird.” She said between clenched teeth. Hidan seemed to perk up a little at her behavior, excited to see her angry maybe. It wasn’t very often she got like this. He sat back, lifting his chin from his hands to fold them across his chest.

Raven Eyes chose that moment to join them for the first time that day. He scrubbed a hand through his hair mussing his pony tail looking like he was about to do something he’d rather avoid.

“We should talk.” He said as he made his way to the table to sit. He looked exhausted. (He always looked exhausted though.)

Nanami relaxed a little bit, anger ebbing away. As long as they told her what was going on, she could accept it. She had an idea of what it might be anyways. 

It had almost been three years, and she was  _ running out of time _ .

Kisame sat up, his silver gaze resting intently on her. Deidara swept and hand through his hair, looking stressed and sat himself on the floor right where he stood, as if he just didn’t care enough to find a proper place to go.

Sasori leaned against the kitchen dividing wall and closed his eyes like he could care less. Nanami knew him well enough to know that if he really didn’t care he wouldn’t be in the room right now.

It was quiet for a moment, and Itachi finally broke it- ever the one to take on the responsibility no one else wanted.

“Akatsuki is getting ready to move. Some things are going to be changing-”

Nanami held up a hand, and he stopped.

“I know. You don’t have to explain. I understand.”  She wanted to spare them this difficult conversation. She understood perfectly well how drasticly things were about to change. She knew it better than they did.

Raven Eyes let out a soft breath. “What is it exactly that you know Nanami.” and suddenly she felt like there was an undercurrent in the room. Like this was really the point of contention in everyone’s gaze and strange behavior.

She gave him a flat look, because she knew he understood perfectly well, but perhaps he just wanted confirmation.

“Akatsuki needs to collect the tailed beasts in order to revive the ten tails.”

Itachi froze and the occupants of the room looked confused. Nanami hesitated- had she said it wrong? 

“What the fuck is the ten tails?” Hidan spoke for all of them, and Nanami’s lips parted in surprise. They didn’t know about that? What exactly had Pein told them as a cover again? She couldn’t remember…

Nanami opened her mouth, ready to attempt an explanation when she was cut off by Kisame’s chuckling. 

“This whole thing is a joke.” He said around his laughter, it had an angry tinge to it. 

Nanami sat herself onto the ground like Deidara had done, and she shrugged because yea, it kind of was a joke for everyone in this room.

They were only a means to an end for Zetsu.

“Well…” She started. “It’s not like any of you joined because you cared for the whole ‘world domination’ trope anyways. You all had your reasons.” 

A tremor of discomfort passed through several chakra signatures, unused to words spoken like an adult coming from the lips of the little girl who danced in their midst.

Words spoken like she knew, like there were no secrets safe from her.

Others though, were not surprised at all.

She curled a lock of shoulder length hair around a finger. “I mean, the ‘lets take over the world’ thing isn’t really wrong- but that’s not really the end game here. Zetsu couldn’t care less what happens to the planet.” She stopped, realizing she was rambling.

It was quiet while everyone’s eyes watched her.

“Who is ‘mother’.” Kakuzu spoke up. Nanami gave him a perplexed expression. 

“How’d you know about that?” 

“You told us during your fever.” He explained. Nanami’s eyes widened and she looked around at the familiar faces of her brothers. They were all waiting for her answer, even Hidan who usually couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“Oh, I thought that was a dream.” She murmured to herself.

“It’s… complicated.” She answered with a twist to her lips. How does one explain what the woman who lived inside the moon was? Where did she even begin with that? She couldn’t even really remember the backstory very well. Something about the world tree and a fruit.

“Her name is Kaguya.” She said instead, because that much she did know.  

Itachi’s hand balled into a fist on top of the table in an uncharacteristic display of emotion. 

“Infinite Tsukuyomi.” He breathed to himself.

Nanami sighed, and nodded. 

“Maybe we should start from the beginning, un.” Deidara interjected looking lost.

“Why the fuck are we here if it isn’t to take over the hidden villages.” Hidan grouched.

Ah, Nanami realized. Yes, it had been something like that. Some basic lie about cornering the market on war.

“Everyone wants something different.” Nanami realized aloud. “Nagato wants peace, Madara wants power and Zetsu wants Kaguya.” 

“As long as we get paid I don’t care what they want.” Kakuzu grumbled looking disinterested.

“I didn’t even want to come here, un.” Deidara shot a sharp unhappy look at Itachi who completely ignored him, “So Madara is involved then.” The raven-eyed man was murmuring to himself.

“Who the fuck is Nagato.” Hidan continued complaining. 

Kisame rubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands. “What a pain in the ass.” 

“How do you know these things Nanami.” Sasori’s apathetic voice cut through the grumbling.

It was quiet again for a minute, and Nanami laid her head in her hands, elbows balanced on her folded legs. She took a deep breath, and let it out again.

She didn’t know how to answer that. She couldn't very well tell them ‘Oh yes, a previous version of myself read it in a book before she drowned in a fit of depression and loneliness, you’re all story book characters didn’t you know?’

It didn’t even matter anymore. 

They weren’t characters in some far off distant story. They were all real people, with emotions and needs and wants that lived real lives and made real choices.

These men were everything to her.

So what should she say? What was the truth and what was a lie? 

“I have…” and her voice was strained, and too loud in the space between her and the Red Clouds. “... always known.”

“Soothsayers aren’t real.” Sasori told her after a beat, but she wasn’t sure if he was telling her or himself really.

“What the fuck.” Hidan interjected.

“I’m not some kind of prophet.” She denied, because that was stupid. Her birth was just some kind of accident of the universe. She wasn’t some divine bull shit, she was just… Nanami. 

That’s all. Just some lost little girl who sometimes thought she might have been a grown woman once with memories that felt real and fake at the same time. Just because she knew some things didn’t make her special. 

They were still going to die after all. She didn’t know how to stop it, they were going to do what they wanted and she had no control over that. 

“I don’t know little bitch because to me that’s what it fucking sounds like.” Hidan pinned her in place with furious purple eyes. He looked angry and frustrated. 

She could empathize.

She wondered then, why her. Why was she reborn into this world, at this time and this place with the knowledge she had still intact. What was the point, she wished someone would tell her. 

Nanami had never bothered to think about these things before, she didn’t like to wonder about it. It just… is how it is.

This was her home. These people were her family. She cared about them. These were the facts that felt real to her, she didn’t want to bother with ‘why’ and ‘what if’ that kind of thinking was distracting from the things that actually mattered.

“I don’t know what to tell you… I’m just… Nanami.” she said around her own frustration. 

Hidan stood then, his chakra lashing about in the air. He picked up his scythe off the floor next to the couch with a carefulness that spoke of a control she wasn’t aware he had. 

He didn’t look at her as he walked out the main door and shut it with a snap behind him. Kakuzu stood from the table without a word and trailed after him. 

Probably to make sure he didn’t go slaughtering the nearest village he could get his scythe into.

Nanami swallowed down the hurt that was stabbing into her gut. She hadn’t expected that reaction, but it was only fair. 

She’d basically been lying to them this entire time. Her eyes stung a little but she forced it back. Now was not the time to be upset. It wasn’t about her, and how she felt. It was about them.

“Do you dream about it?” Deidara asked her after the door had once again closed. He rolled a bit of clay between his fingers, looking more contemplative than upset.

Nanami shook her head, she did dream about their futures but that’s not what he was asking.

“You’re just a little fucking kid.” Kisame bit out, as if that had some bearing on the situation. 

“So you know all about us then.” Sasori murmured with a sweeping gesture around the room. “Our pasts, our futures.” 

She sighed. “Yes.” 

“They will kill you, if they find out Nanami.” Itachi told her gently. 

“I know.” She told him without moving her eyes from where Hidan had previously sat on the couch.

Silence reigned as the occupants in the room seemed to digest this new facet of the little girl they’d brought into their fold almost three years ago.

Kisame was the one to stand up next. He shouldered Samehada and walked out the main door. Itachi stood and followed him. 

He turned for a moment to give Nanami a piercing look that broke her heart. 

“We’ll be back later.” He said softly, and the door closed behind him. 

“Well.” Deidara said into the oppressive silence. He stood, and took the three steps to stand next to her small form, he offered her a hand.

“C’mon, dinner is probably cold by now, un.” She took the offered hand, and flashed him a watery smile. 

His blue eyes danced, and she was glad he at least, didn’t seem to care.

Sasori trailed after them into the kitchen. 

“I want to teach you to use chakra strings.” He said with a suddenness that had her missing a step. She turned around to meet his kohl lined brown eyes with her own wide, suprised ones.

“Okay.” She breathed, and had she been looking she would of seen the grateful look Deidara flashed his partner.


	23. Something Out of Nothing

“A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for.”

* * *

 

Kakuzu found his partner sitting in the grass, his scythe leaning against his shoulder as he looked up into the canopy. The stars shone with a cold light between bare branches.

Their breaths came out in little clouds that disappeared into nothing. 

Kakuzu didn’t have to wait long, for as soon as he stopped next to Hidan the man began to speak. 

“This is some pagan bull shit.” He said without any heat. Kakuzu quirked his lips behind his mask, because it was just like the Jashinist to deflect what was really bothering him and twist it into some religious crap.

It was quiet for a minute, with only the sound of creaking branches that groaned about their old age to each other in the wind.

“She was talking about my death wasn’t she.” Hidan said softly. “When she said she’d kill that clan to keep me.” The last part sounded a little lost, and Kakuzu didn’t like that tone coming from his partner; it wasn’t like him. He kept these thoughts to himself however.

The Falls-nin folded himself onto the ground gracefully with a shrug. “Can you even die?” He asked the white haired man.

Hidan looked over at him, a slide of purple irises that seemed unsure. “I don’t know.” He said. “Maybe.”

There was the sound of footsteps that had Hidan’s scythe suddenly in his grip, and Kakuzu’s threads seeping from his upper arm.

“Is there room in this party for two more.” Kisame’s voice broke the air around them, and the man stepped through the tree line with a grin that looked more like it was made out of habit than a true desire to be his snarky self.

Itachi followed quietly behind the blue skinned man, and leaned himself against a tree as Kisame unhooked his sentient sword from his back and laid out in the dew covered grass like he didn’t care. He probably didn’t.

Hidan made a frustrated sound. 

“How am I supposed to protect the bitch if she keeps going and pulling shit like this.” He finally spoke the thing that was really bothering him, bothering all of them.

“I thought you said she could handle herself.” Kisame bit out sarcastically.

“Fuck you okay, seriously. She can fucking handle herself just fine but Leader-sama is a different fucking story. I don’t think any of us can even kill that ass hole- Nanami’s bitch ass wouldn’t even stand a chance.” He ranted, and no one had anything to say to that because they all knew it was true.

“We’ll just have to be careful.” Itachi spoke softly, but everyone could hear the hint of doubt behind it.

“How long will that last.” Kakuzu’s acid green eyes pinned the Uchiha in place, daring him to contest it.

“We can take her with us when we leave the bunker. At this point she’d be safer with us on missions than left alone. Especially now that we are moving to the Rain boarder.” Kisame sounded like the was talking to himself out loud. 

“That could work.” Hidan hesitantly offered. 

Kakuzu grunted unhappily, feeling like they were missing the point. They couldn’t keep Nanami safe forever. Something was going to go wrong eventually.

But he had no alternative to offer to this negative fact, so he didn’t bother repeating himself.

“I think she understands the position she’s in well enough.” Kisame added.

“She does seem to comprehend these things well for an eight year old.” Itachi murmured aloud.

“Yea, well. Lets see how fast you grow the fuck up when you know the past and futures of a group of S-class, missing-nin, mass murderers.” Hidan pointed out. “I know I for one have done some shit I’d rather the bitch didn’t know about.” He grouched.

That statement seemed to give Itachi pause, and a look passed over his face as if he’d just realized something important.

“Aa, so that’s what she meant back then…” He murmured to himself. Kisame flashed him an irritated look.

“Care to share with the class?” He snarked.

Itachi’s dark eyes slid over to his partner. “No.” He said apathetically.

Hidan snorted.

It was quiet again for a while, each of them worked through their own thoughts and frustrations.

“You know.” Kisame said suddenly, voice full of his usual good humor. “It’s just occurred to me that the Akatsuki is basically raising a child.” He managed to get out around chuckles. 

Hidan cackled for a second. “Gehah that’s a fucking good one ass hole.” His deep purple eyes continued to stare up at the stars, and despite his words, he looked like he was considering what Kisame had said.

Kakuzu frowned but didn’t say anything. This thought had occurred to him as well, but hearing it said aloud made it more… real somehow. 

Many, many years ago he had once hoped… but that was a long time ago. An idea he had long ago left for dead.

“She seems to be turning out alright despite us.” Itachi offered softly, as if the undercurrent of his thoughts were the same as Kakuzu’s.

None of them would ever know what the others were thinking in this moment, none of them would ever ask.

Hidan made another frustrated sound. “Fuck.” Was all he had to say on the subject.

Kakuzu stood up, brushing off bits of grass and dew that clung to the fabric of his pants. He turned and walked away without a word.

“We must have done something right, somewhere, to deserve the little bitch.” Hidan’s voice floated along behind him.

* * *

 

Nanami curled into her pillow, and brought her knees up to her chest. It wouldn’t be long before she couldn’t fit in the space underneath the sink anymore. Another year maybe, she’d be nine then, although she wasn’t even sure if she was eight yet, she thought she probably was.

She wondered where she’d sleep then.

She wondered if there was even enough time for it to come to that.

Nanami felt the tightness in her chest, and her eyes stung with the beginnings of tell tale tears.

She scrubbed at her face with her hands, feeling frustrated and furious with herself for disappointing them. 

The silence was so deep tonight, she thought the sound of her own heart beat was too loud. She ached, she was disappointed with herself so thoroughly she didn’t know how to feel anymore.

She should have told them the truth sooner, maybe she should have never said anything at all. It’s not like anything she knew mattered anyways, she had no control over anything here.

She was just a little kid, trying to find her place in the world.

And that thought made her pause, and then maybe feel a little better; because although Nanami was questioning a lot of things right now, she would never question her place within the Akatsuki. 

She belonged here, with them. No matter what. She knew this with an unwavering fierceness that swept away the moisture in her eyes and left her feeling more whole.

She nodded to herself, and rubbed her cheeks with her palms one last time.

No more crying, she promised. (This was a lie, she knew.)

Even if they were upset with her now, they would come around. They cared. She knew they did. She didn’t have to convince herself this, because she trusted them. She trusted in the way they treated her, the way they spoke to her.

She eased out a breath. Everything would be okay. (For now.)

Nanami blinked into the dark when a familiar chakra signature entered through the main door and made their way towards the kitchen. 

The hinges to her cabinet squeaked open, and firm, warm hands were reaching in and pulling her out gently. 

Nanami went, because she trusted, she loved. It was easy to do, as if she’d been born to love them and always had. (Always will.)

He lifted her, and carried her to the shared bedroom without a word. 

His stitches were soft under her skin; like silk, they felt warm, alive. She sighed, comforted; and rolled her face into his chest to breath in the scent of old paper and clean water.

He laid her down next to him, and the covers rose up from the foot of the bed, assisted by long black threads glowing with chakra.

“Is he very angry?” She murmured into the mattress.

A grunt. “Not with you.” 

And that was all she needed, as tension she hadn’t realized was there uncoiled from her shoulders.

Yes, everything would be okay. For now.

* * *

 

In the weeks that quickly became months that followed, Nanami’s routine was completely upheaved. It wasn’t a bad change though, she found.  

Everyone seemed to be taking turns showing her things lately, and Nanami got the feeling they were preparing her. She got to go outside a lot during this time, the great stone room a little too small for Raven Eye’s weird dance moves he called ‘katas’ 

_ “To build muscle memory.”  _ He had said, Nanami just felt like it was a dancing game though. (One he was very good, and graceful at. Raven Eyes was actually quite a pretty man, the way he moved like a dancer.) She took to it with all the intensity that he expected her to have. She did so with everything her Red Clouds deemed necessary for her to know, and took the time to teach her. 

She felt like their time and attention was a gift. One she reveled in with enthusiasm.

Kisame and Itachi had taken her outside at the crack of dawn one morning, and the blue skinned man showed her how he brought the oceans of his chakra to life. 

There was a reason he was called the tailed beast without a tail. His chakra reserves were almost unfathomable. He was a supernova in comparison to her lit candle.

Itachi had set her down on the newly made lake surface after a brief explanation of how to water walk, his hand grasped her upper arm as her toes touched down, fully expecting her to need a few tries before she fully grasped the concept.

She didn’t.

This, unlike attempting to change her chakra into an actual elemental nature came easily to her. Nanami had no problems interacting with the elements around her, she just couldn’t turn her own chakra into a nature.

Kisame had been pleased with her quick study, and as she’d skated across the surface tension of his lake under the watchful eye of Itachi, Kisame bit his thumb with sharp teeth and flattened his hand to the surface of the water.

Summoning ink lit bright with chakra spread out around his hand, and Nanami had wondered at it. How could ink exist on top of water like that?

She didn’t have long to wonder when bursts of smoke plumed up from the surface and new, animal chakra signatures arrested her attention. 

She grinned, and clapped her hands together in glee, the bell in her hair chimed with her movements, adding to her glowing countenance. 

The sharks were different from regular animals, and she supposed this was because they were summon animals.

They resisted her brushes at their chakra, and when they spoke to her without words it felt something like an apology, because however much they did desire to play games with her they were under contract and she was not their summoner.

When she told this to the two Akatsuki they had given her considering looks, and Itachi had summoned a flock of crows to see if it was the same with all summons.

It was, and Nanami had felt a little disappointed because she really liked the feel of the summoned crows. They were witty and observant and she would have enjoyed the opportunity to play games with them.

Their chakra speaking along hers had also felt apologetic, like the sharks had, and this mollified her to a certain degree because at least the refusal wasn’t out of disliking her.

Itachi and Kisame shared a look, and Raven Eyes had wondered aloud what it would be like if she had her own summons.

She perked up at that thought like a daisy in springtime.

_ “What kind of summon would you want anyways?”  _ Kisame had asked her, she had grinned at him, with sharp teeth that were mostly no longer baby teeth and given him the animal that had felt the most right in her heart.

He’d laughed at her good naturedly, and she’d been to busy basking in his enjoyment to notice Raven Eyes considering look.

* * *

 

Loud Blood had a very hands-on approach to teaching, just like he always had. Only now when he showed her things his movements were slower, more purposeful, and as he attempted to maim her he described how each movement might better suit a certain situation. Nanami had never realized how much thought he put into his fighting, but it certainly confirmed for her that he had always gone easy on her in the past.

Hidan showed her how to bend back at the waist and dip low under the swing of his scythe, he showed her how to flip forward through the air and roll with a fall. He was actually pretty good with acrobatics, and while he had admitted to being the slowest of the Akatsuki with his bulky weapon of choice, he was certainly the most flexible of them.

Nanami fell right in line with his teachings, finding her child’s body took to flexibility very well, where her short stature didn’t lend a whole lot for speed- but her chakra enhanced hands and feet seemed to make up for that.

On occasion Beating Hearts would join the two of them, his specialty being Ninjutsu, (which she had no aptitude for what so ever.) he didn’t have a lot to offer her other than the basics, (which she was grateful for regardless. She’d learn anything he offered, because it was Beating Hearts and she loved him.) so he would run with her, a lot. So much running. She ran with him every day,  _ “For stamina.”  _ He explained, and she saw the wisdom in it immediately, because the last and only time she’d gone somewhere with them she’d tired after only a few hours of  _ walking. _ Let alone running.

He showed her how to consciously run chakra through her muscles and use it to keep going when she’d been sure she was at her limit. This lesson actually tripped her up for a while, because whereas before she would unconsciously use chakra in her hands and feet, now she actually thought about it. It was like learning the muscle memory to a song on piano to start with, and then having someone come along later and explain to you why it was those specific keys. All of a sudden she couldn’t quite remember how to play because she was too focused on which key made what sound.

It was difficult and frustrating for a while, she had to relearn how to use her animal stance properly, but after she got used to the idea of consciously sending her chakra where she needed it, she found she had a wider range of control, and her meager chakra reserves lasted alot longer. It was a valuable lesson.

When Hidan would join them the trio worked a lot on maneuvers and formations that suggested to her that they thought some amount of teamwork would be required in the future. (Which was exciting to her, because that meant they we planning on taking her with them more often.)

Kakuzu taught her how to tell the difference between which mask was detaching from him just by sound alone. Which ones had area-of-effect abilities that would require she move out of the way in a hurry. 

That searing migraine technique was nothing to scoff at, and while Hidan could take it and come out with nothing more than steaming skin, she would be barbeque.  

Hidan taught her how to balance properly, and remain just outside the maximum reach of his scythe, and how to recognize when his grip on the handle changed enough to signify the use of the long metal cord that would extend its reach.

His dexterity and control over it was both awe inspiring and terrifying. He’d looked beyond pleased when she told him this.

She even learned a neat trick of how to balance on the flat of the blades when he held it out horizontally along the ground. It was fun to do, but she wasn’t sure they’d ever really need it in a practical situation. 

Hidan had grinned at her eyes dancing with mirth when she’d finally managed to do it without slicing her toes open on the edges.

_ “Well done little bitch” _

* * *

 

False Pieces and Burning Earth worked with her both individually and as a team as well. Sasori made good on his word to show her chakra strings, which she struggled with quite a bit but understood that if she could learn to use them properly it would extend the reach of which animals and trees she could speak too. It would mean she would no longer have to be in direct contact with the chakra she was attempting to communicate with.

Deidara showed her each of his sculptures with no small amount of glee, glowing with pleasure each time she became impressed over the fine details and speed at which his hand-mouths could produce them.

He showed her how each animal and what size it was would correlate with how large the explosion would be. Or in other words, how fast she needed to get the hell out of dodge.

The first time he showed her his massive bird she’d looked at him with wide, awed eyes and breathed “ _ We are going to fly? _ ” with childlike joy.

He’d given her a hand up, and he’d spent an hour showing her how to grip at the clay with the chakra in her feet and hands without disturbing the explosive material inside it. That had been one of her favorite lessons. Nanami decided she loved flying.

This was also the first time she’d experienced the more passionate side of Sasori’s love for his art, because where Deidara had always been loud about it, Sasori had more reserved sort of attitude- at least right up until his partner started getting mouthy about how art should be something experienced in an instant.

Sasori disagreed with that perspective wholeheartedly, and often the arguments would dissolve into bickering and then taking swipes at each other.

Nanami loved watching their dynamics. They were so alive, they had so much personality.

Sasori showed her each of his main puppets, and gave her an extended explanation of his one hundred puppets jutsu.

“ _ You must be a god at multitasking”  _ She told him, with a more thorough understanding of chakra strings she’d built quite a bit of hero-worship for the red haired man, because she could barely manage two strings, let alone the twenty plus strings required to maneuver one puppet  _ let alone _ one hundred of them. 

Her words had earned her a wide eyed look from chocolate brown eyes and roaring laughter from his blond partner.


	24. Second Love

“I hear you in my echo, a few steps behind. I see you in my shadow, waiting inside.” -At the Point of Ignition, Dark Tranquility

* * *

 

Nanami sat at the low table with crossed legs, feeling comfortable and content. She set aside her pen and ignored the huffing noises Loud Blood kept making behind her in his boredom. 

He lay sprawled on the floor carelessly in nothing but his pants and the strange white leg wrappings they all wore. She heard his scythe clink against the stone floor as he shifted it about. 

Nanami looked over at Beating Hearts who sat next to her.

His eye was twitching. 

Uh oh.

“Uhm,” she stumbled looking for something to say to stave off the inevitable blood puddles she would be mopping up if she didn’t find something to distract the duo with.

“What are we doing today?” She asked and was rewarded with acid green in a sea of red sliding over to look at her. She smiled hesitantly because she knew he was well aware she was attempting to distract him from his partner.

“The Uchiha has plans with you.” He rumbled. Nanami blinked at that, because Raven Eyes and False Pieces had left on a mission together almost a week ago, and hadn’t returned yet.

Behind her Hidan made an irritated noise. “Fucking finally.”

It wasn’t often that they switched around like that, but Oceans had mentioned it would involve a certain amount of infiltration. Which made sense to Nanami, because as incredible as Burning Earth was explosions weren't exactly sneaky, and a large shark man wasn’t the most inconspicuous of images.

So that meant they’d be home sometime today. Nanami stretched her senses out and felt a distant ping in return at the edge of her awareness.

Maybe an hour then. She grinned to herself. It would be nice to see them after the long absence. 

“Took those ass holes long enough.” Loud Blood grouched.

A muscle jumped in Beating Hearts arm, and Nanami was pushing herself up and away from the table before she even registered fully the need to move. The skin of her toes scraped along the stone in quick backwards steps just as Kakuzu’s threads rose from his arms to surround his upper body; like long hair floating behind a woman in the sea.

They lashed out at Hidan without Kakuzu even turning to face the man. 

His narrowed eyes and twitching was the only sign she needed to signify the impending violence.

“Hey! What the fuck seriou-” Loud Blood shifted to roll from his position in a sloppy dodge (He wasn’t very good at dodging, he told her it was because it didn’t matter if he did or not really.) only to be interrupted by a group of threads as thick as her arm impaling his voice box.  

And just like that it was over, threads gone with nothing to show for it except Hidan’s limp form on the floor in a pool of blood.

Nanami sighed and retrieved the breakfast plates from the table and carefully made her way around the growing puddle of bodily fluids to clean them in the kitchen sink. 

Just another morning in the Akatsuki base.

* * *

 

Nanami doodled on the scrap paper while she waited. Maybe another fifteen minutes, it didn’t seem like Raven Eyes and False Pieces were moving very quickly. 

She made another set of algebraic equations for fun, something to occupy her mind. The numbers flowed easily across the paper, and she liked the way the completed sets looked. All in neat little rows with definite answers. 

Nanami had always enjoyed math. It wasn’t complicated, and there was always a right answer. 

Kakuzu paused as he passed by her, she looked up to find his eyes following the numbers across her paper.

He rose an eyebrow at her. “Whats this?” A small gesture at her doodles, and she was pleased to hear the note of interest in his voice.

Her lips parted to answer, but she paused. Nanami had no idea what the word for algebra was in Japanese. 

They had never done anything more complication than percentages and fractions, and they had never touched on words like this in her Japanese lessons with Raven Eyes. 

She shrugged. “Algebra.” and the English word sounded a little heavy on her tongue.

“Ar… gi bra…” Kakuzu attempted to repeat the word and butchered it in the process. Nanami smothered a giggle with her hand and nodded.

“Would you like me to show you?” He didn’t say anything, but when he sat next to her it was all the answer she needed.

She bit the inside of her cheek to contain the massive grin that wanted to split her face. She felt a rush of happiness, and love for the man sitting next to her as he listened to her explanation on the basics of the more complicated form of math.

Oceans came over to see what they were talking about while she was in the middle of explaining how to solve tables that involved parentheses. She found she kept having to use English words to make up for the lack of words she knew in Japanese. Beating Hearts took it in stride, and didn’t question the strange vocabulary, or how she even knew this level of math to begin with.

Oceans  gave them both a strange look.

“You two.” was all he said when he turned to leave, looking completely bored.

“I know right.” The freshly recovered Hidan commiserated from the couch.

This is what Itachi and Sasori walked in on, and Hidan was leaping from the back of the couch at the sound of the main door clicking open. 

“Thank fucking Jashin-sama.” and he did sound very relieved to see them. Nanami watched as Itachi gave the white haired man a perplexed look, and when he noticed the two of them he seemed to understand.

Itachi was a very intelligent man.

“Nanami.” He called, and she gave an apologetic smile to Beating Hearts who looked like he couldn’t care less either way. She knew better though, him sitting with her alone showed his interest.

“We’ll finish later.” She told him even as she stood. 

“Welcome home,” She greeted as she approached. Sasori’s scorpion body shifted, and he grumbled a low “Thank you” in return before he slid across the floor towards his room. 

Deidara would be home soon, and Nanami was sure he’d be pleased to have his partner back- regardless of how much they bickered.

Itachi turned back towards the door, his dark eyes sliding towards her as he held it open.

She grinned and loped her way past him and up the stairs. 

“I’m coming too!” She heard Hidan behind her, and she felt Beating Hearts and Oceans chakra shift and follow as well. 

The five of them didn’t go very far before Raven Eyes stopped near a copse of leafy green trees about ten minutes from the base.

The sunlight streamed through, playing dappled patterns across the grass. The breeze was cool and light, it was a beautiful day.

“This will be fine.” He stated, and he turned to her, fishing around in his hip pouch to produce a scroll. It wasn’t very large, but Nanami was more interested in the strange chakra that clung to it.

“So you did manage to get it.” Kisame grinned at her as Loud Blood and Beating Hearts stepped forward to form a loose circled around the proffered scroll.

Nanami took it gently, and instantly liked the way it’s chakra caressed along hers.

It was heavier than she thought it would be, and as she peeled it open Raven Eyes spoke.

“This is a summoning contract.” He said, and her eyes flashed up to meet his in surprise. The scroll unrolled to show names. Lots of names, and Nanami felt her breath catch at the sight of the majority of the surnames emblazoned on it in blood.

_ Nara _

“How did you get this?” She asked in curiosity before she could stop herself.

“They went all the way to that shit hole Konoha for you little bitch.”  Hidan told her when no answer seemed forthcoming.

Itachi nodded at her questioning look.

“But… won’t they notice it’s missing?” Oceans laughed and shifted to adjusted the broad strap that ran across his chest and held Samehada to his back.

“Probably. But it’s not like they were using it anyways.” Nanami chewed her lip. They’d obviously gone to lengths to retrieve it…  _ for her _ .

And she couldn’t help but feel ecstatic at the thought. This wasn’t just any gift- this was-

A summoning contract. 

“Thank you.” She breathed eyes wide. 

Kakuzu huffed. “We don’t know if you will be compatible yet, they have to agree to work with you.” He said. 

“Oh… what do I do?” and with that Itachi launched into teacher-mode.

“Cut your finger, and sign an available space in blood. I will teach you the hand seals. From there we will attempt the summoning, don’t be surprised if nothing happens at first, it takes practice.” 

Nanami did as she was told, crouching onto the ground to lay the the paper flat. She pressed her thumb to one of her sharper canines to split the skin, and held the digit to ancient scroll with quick strokes to sign the characters of her name with the impromptu ink.

“Three hundred ryo says she gets it on the first try.” Oceans told Hidan and Kakuzu. 

Kakuzu grunted, “Four hundred ryo says the third.” Hidan crouched next to her, to watch her sign with a mumbled, “Betting is a fucking sin you heathens.” 

Kisame grinned at him, “Think you’ll lose Hidan-chan?” 

Nanami looked up at Itachi, and he met her eyes and sighed. He started showing her the seals, five in all and she hurried to copy him and commit them to memory.

“What the fuck did you say fish face? Fuck you six hundred ryo say the second try.” Hidan shot back right into her ear. She winced at the volume of his voice, and Kakuzu’s sandaled foot came crunching into his chest and knocked him back from their little circle.

He sputtered as he stood back up, brandishing his red three pronged scythe at his partner. Kisame just laughed good naturedly.

Itachi and Nanami attempted to ignore them.

He stopped her twice to make her redo the ram sign, one that was more difficult for her little fingers to make, but in the end she could follow along at a decent speed. 

“Good, now channel-” Here he paused, and his sharingan swirled to life as he looked her over. Nanami always liked the way it looked, she secretly thought it was very pretty. (But she would never tell him that.) “-About a quarter of your chakra as you make the seals, and press your palm flat to the ground.” He kneeled and demonstrated the same movement he and Oceans had before when they’d shown her their summons. 

“Alright.” and Oceans and Loud Blood stopped bickering long enough to watch her first attempt.

“Well damn.” Kisame murmured, disappointed when her first summoning resulted in a small pile of a soft, yet bloody substance.

“Sick, what the fuck is that?” Hidan asked as he ambled back over.

“It’s velvet.” She provided, feeling excited that at least her attempt got her  _ something. _

She tried again, panting at the loss of half her reserves in less than five minutes, and was rewarded with an actual antler this time. 

It was huge. Larger than her torso, with many sharp prongs in a beautiful bone white color. 

She tittered, a high and sharp joyful sound as she ran her palm over the length of it. This antler belonged to a beautiful creature.

“This time.” She murmured to herself, and she missed Kakuzu’s approving grunt as she tried one last time. She wouldn’t have enough chakra to do it again.

Summoning smoke exploded into the clearing, and she coughed a little and waved a hand in front of her face to try to get it away from her eyes.

To her left, Kakuzu held out his hand and Kisame muttered curses as he fished around in his pocket.

“You already keep all my fucking money you dick!” Hidan cried.

Nanami didn’t register any of this, as the deer before her held all of her attention.

It was much larger than a normal buck, but not as massive as she knew summons could be. It was only slightly smaller than an elephant, with a snow white coat, and massive antlers that appeared similar to the ones she’d gotten on her second try. Except much larger, and actually attached to the animal. 

Vines grew around its antlers, blooming with some kind of yellow flower that reminded her of morning glory, the plant curved its way down the animal’s neck and tucked into a kind of plated armor that had similar vine like designs carved into its surface.

It was a mythical looking thing. Nanami stared up at it in wide-eyed awe. 

Itachi’s hand touched her shoulder gently, and left just as quickly with a murmured “Well done Nanami.”

It shook its head back and forth and turned its massive snout to peer at her with one liquid dark eye.

Nanami stood politely. “Hello, I am Nanami.” she greeted softly.

“You are not a Nara.” The beast spoke in a surprisingly feminine voice, but it didn’t sound displeased. It pawed at the ground with a massive leg. “I am called Renji.”

Nanami bit her lip at the summons name, because ‘Second love’ seemed overly appropriate for her.

“Why have you called, little human.” His head lifted and turned, his dark eye taking in her Red Clouds as he spoke.

Nanami looked up and over at Itachi, and he nodded encouragingly.

“Nanami was hoping- I was hoping to have a contract with the deer summons.” She quickly corrected her mistake in her nervousness.

Renji turned his attention back on the small child before him.

“It is so.” He said gravely. “Tell me then, littlest human, why you desire this.” and Nanami wasn’t sure what words to say, she never had been good with words. So she went with her first instinct when it always came to animals.

She unfurled a single chakra string and brushed it along Renji’s ambient chakra.

She told him of her feelings for each and every one of her Red Clouds, how she held them dear to her as precious people who had their own wants and desires and feelings. How real they were to her, how much they mattered.

She told him of her hopes of keeping them safe, to protect them when she didn’t know how.

Her desire to be of use to them. 

Her place among them and the powerful sense of belonging she felt when they were with her.

Her greatest desire to keep them alive, and her frustration in not knowing how to make it happen.

He threw his head back in surprise, great antlers rising into the air whipping vines about with the motion, little yellow petals floated softly to the ground, and large muscular leg rose and crashed back down in a thunderous movement.

He made a strange sound then, a huffing sort of laugh that reverberated around in the air and rose goosebumps along her arms. Nanami liked the sound.

Renji’s head came down low then, his forelegs bending a little to bring himself eye level with her.

“You are a unique human, little child Nanami.” He told her pleasantly, and she smiled for him. “Your desires are not unworthy.” This was said a little sadly.

“We shall answer, if you desire to call.” He affirmed. 

Nanami felt a tightness well up in her chest, and she clasped the front of her shirt with a tiny fist. 

“Thank you.” She said a little wetly. 

When Renji was dismissed and returned to his home, rumors would spread like wildfire among the deer summons, “ _ A new summoner, who is not a Nara”  _ they would say. _ “A small child who speaks with her chakra, a little girl who hopes to keep those fated to die from suffering.” _

* * *

 

IMPORTANT AN PLEASE READ: The below section was originally intended to be the actual chapter here, but no matter how many times a rewrote it I just really, really disliked the direction it took the story. THEREFORE, from here forward  **THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL PART OF THE STORY.** Lets call this an alternate universe omake, it has no bearing on the actual story and is not a part of this fanfictions timeline. So please enjoy this extra tid bit but keep in mind that  **NONE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTUALLY HAPPENS.** Thanks guys! Please read and review!

* * *

 

“We’ll be doing something different today.” Raven Eyes said as he glided across the grass with all the grace of a trained killer. Kisame walked at her side, a large imposing figure with comforting chakra and a presence that demanded attention without him even having to say a word. She thought both he and Beating Hearts had that same sort of… aura.

Behind them trailed the Zombie Combo, and although she knew this lesson didn’t require them, Loud Blood had stated that he thought it would be something interesting to watch. Beating Hearts hadn’t offered an explanation, he’d just followed them out like he was meant to be here.

Nanami didn’t question these things.

Ahead of her Raven Eyes stopped in a small clearing between trees. They weren't far from home really, but it had been a good fifteen minute jaunt.

He made a sweeping gesture. “Here will do.” 

And at his words Kisame fell over into the grass like a cat ready to laze in a ray of sunlight. She grinned down at him, and he returned it with a hint of those sharp teeth she liked to see.

Loud Blood made himself comfortable in a similar fashion but Beating Hearts sat down with more grace.

“Alright, Nanami.” Itachi gathered her attention back to him. He was without his cloak, as most the Akatsuki preferred not to wear them if they didn’t have to. So today he wore his dark blue tunic that had fishnet peaking out from the neck.

“Today’s lesson will have two facets” He ticked off his fingers, “We’ll start with attempting to cast genjutsu, and then move onto dispelling them. Understand?” She nodded eagerly. 

He made a hand seal, and she quickly brought her hands up to copy him. He made four in total, and he went slowly so she could get the finger placements just right.

“Now,” he said carefully, his dark eyes pinning her with that spark she recognized as interest. “Again, and as you make the seals, channel your chakra and hold an image in your mind of what you want me to see.”

Nanami considered his words, and the less than stellar explanation on how it worked. It was… kind of unlike him to skip the details in a lesson. Was this a test of some kind? She eyed him then, looking to see if his body language or something in his eyes was off. 

There was nothing, except that spark of interest. She thought it probably was a test then, because Raven Eyes rarely took interest in anything so apparently.

“What kind of image?” She asked for clarification. Behind her, Hidan made a rude snorting sound.

“Something believable.” Was all the man offered her. He paused then, and added. “Memories work best, because they are the most vivid to the user. The stronger your feelings were at the time, the easier it will be to impress them upon your enemy.”

So she took a minute to think about what she might like to show the man. 

She frowned, lips pursing in thought. It wasn’t exactly something she’d  _ like _ to show Raven Eyes… but… if she could make anything intense it would be that… and she wanted to do a good job.

~*~

“Alright” She said slowly, almost… regretfully, and Itachi watched her dispassionately as she made the hand seals again, but this time he felt the telltale trickle of foreign chakra arrest his consciousness.

It was amature at best, the edges holding an off-ness about them that he knew he could dispel with ease. It wasn’t even genin level quality.

At least… that’s was how it was at first, before the images seemed to gain momentum. He always had his sharingan, but that wasn’t what this exercise was about today, so he left it inactive.

He tumbled suddenly in a small body that was not his own. There was a roll forward, and a backward surge and he tumbled once again. The sand scraped against his heels as he came to the edge of the continental shelf, and then he tumbled from the drop off and sank into deep waters.

There was no panic, or urgency as he sank. There was only the ocean’s cold embrace, and the last loving thoughts for a brother who had been the only one to care… his brother? No… Nanami’s brother.

He wasn’t aware she’d had one.

He lost his way for a short time that somehow felt like forever. He was distantly aware that his lungs were burning, so he filled them with the ocean in response. It felt like the right thing to do.

He hadn’t realized how easy it would be to drown… drown? He was drowning? 

The red streaking light of dawn above the waves dimmed and he relaxed, because this felt right. Finally. After all the searching… finally he could rest. He realized with relief that it was finally over.

Thank the gods, it was over.

Thoughts that were not his own trickled by, they told him he’d tried so hard for so long, and what he was looking for just didn’t exist.

He wasn’t even sure what he was looking for…

But none of that mattered now as he sank beneath the waves, because he’d looked long and hard across the world, people and cultures and continents and still-

He was so alone… Nanami was so alone.

He thought today was a good day to die.

As good.. a day… as… any…

Itachi jerked backwards, returning to his own mind with a wet gasp that sent him hacking uncomfortably.

That had been… very real.

“Woh there Itachi- you okay?” Came Kisame’s surprised voice. Itachi ignored him, and took a small moment to compose himself.

Had he just… died? Had Nanami…?

Yes, it was an amature genjutsu. But it had become very  _ vivid.  _ Itachi took a moment to remind himself that yes, his lungs felt wet, but they always felt wet. That was normal. He was not dead and he had not drowned.

“Gehah! Holy shit! What the fuck did you show him little bitch?” Hidan’s laughing voice made him look up.

She stood there before him, with her doe brown eyes set into lightly tanned skin. Her shoulder length hair floated towards him on a soft breeze with the chime of a bell.

She looked sad, and apologetic.

“I’m sorry” She said once she caught his eyes.

“Nanami… you…” Was all he could seem to manage for the moment.

“What the fuck!” Hidan stood from his sprawl on the ground looking overly excited and he set his crazy eyes on the little girl.

“Fuck little bitch you gotta show me too I wanna see!” 

Hidan’s words made him wonder, if maybe it had only been vivid for him because he deeply empathized with the feelings she’d projected to him in the genjutsu. 

A tired, and world weary sort of sensation.

Nanami shied away, not meeting Hidan’s intense purple gaze as he hovered around her small stature. “I don’t think you know what you’re asking...” She murmured. This only seemed to make the Jashinist more interested.

And yet, Itachi still wondered, his curiosity burned. Was it only him? Had she chosen those images because she knew him well enough? Or perhaps she had simply made the choice because of the intensity behind them?

He shook it off quickly, and brushed off his pant legs like nothing had happened at all.

Hidan looked even more excited at her words. “Oh, fuck yes-” 

~*~

“Show him.” Nanami looked over at Itachi at the sound of his voice, who had only been under the influence of her chakra for less than two seconds.

It had apparently been enough, he looked… ruffled, and the way he’d jerked backwards like that had been dramatic by his standards. The coughing though… Raven Eyes had been sick for as long as she’d known him, but he hid it well.

Hidan was bouncing from foot to foot, and she could feel the scowl in Kakuzu’s chakra from where she stood.

“Can he even break a genjutsu?” Kisame asked laughingly.

“Hey fuck you.” Hidan bit out at him, because although he wasn’t very good at ninjutsu, he was still an Akatsuki member.

Nanami sighed. “Are you sure?” but she wasn’t even sure who she was asking, Loud Blood, Raven Eyes or herself. But if that’s what they wanted… she was obliged to offer it. She would give them anything, not because she felt like she had to, but because she wanted to.

Raven Eyes gave her a searching look for a moment, as if trying to figure something out that she didn’t understand.

Loud Blood shifted his stance, bringing one leg out behind him as if he might lunge at her. “Let’s do this.” He said eagerly, purple eyes shining.

“Alright.” She repeated the word she told Raven Eyes less than a minute before. She brought her hands up and made the few short seals, holding his gaze.

She felt the drain on her reserves immediately, and watched as Loud Bloods eyes took on the same glassy quality Itachi’s had. He features went slack, his posture relaxing.

She held him for at least twelve seconds. A long time in a shinobi battle, but she could also tell he wasn’t fighting it.

He took a sudden step away, blinking harshly a few times. He turned his head and spat as if he thought he might expel water onto the ground.

Hidan sat himself down bonelessly with a far away look, his mouth parted as if he might have something to say but no words came out. His hand came up to gently touch the silver necklace around his neck.

“Damn.” Kisame commented, watching from his lazy position in the grass. His silver eyes turned to her, and he flashed her a roguish grin full of humor. Well, at least someone was entertained. 

“So it wasn’t just the empathy then.” Itachi commented quietly his own eyes resting on Hidan.

When Loud Bloods gaze finally did come up to meet hers, she saw something in them she hadn’t been expecting. 

Reverence.

He continued to keep his silence. It was unnerving.

“Loud Blood…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say, she twisted her hands together to keep herself from reaching for him. Had she gone too far?

“There’s something holy in death you know.” He whispered, and Kakuzu gave her a sharp look at his partner’s words from his folded position against a tree.  

“I wasn’t aware you had a brother.” Itachi said to her, breaking her attention away from Hidan.

Vague images of a blond man with a saccharine smile passed through her mind. She shook it off.

“Once.” She said hesitantly, meeting Raven Eyes piercing gaze. “A lifetime ago.” 

She saw the moment understanding passed through his eyes, through his chakra.

Itachi was a smart man. He understood the implications. 


	25. So It Begins

“Art is the daughter of freedom.” -Friedrich Schiller

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” -Marcus Aurelius

* * *

 

“Take Nanami with you.” Itachi was murmuring to Deidara and Sasori. 

There had been a lot of debate over this point, which group she’d be going with during the first move of the Akatsuki.

Each team would be headed in separate directions after their own assigned biju. The ichibi was planned to be the first- once the one-tail was in hand they would assemble with the use of Pein’s body lantern jutsu. Raven Eyes had briefly described it to her as a sort of astral projection… thing. And if she hadn’t already had an idea of what it looked like she would’ve been totally lost by his description. 

This was one of the reasons she’d be going with the artists, because the body lantern technique required a meditative state, and that would mean she’d be left to her own devices while the team would be busy projecting.

Where as if she went with Deidara and Sasori, they would physically and mentally be with her at all times. Plus, the ichibi was generally considered the weakest of the biju, regardless of his status within the sand village, and the others would be off trying to collect their own jinchuuriki’s; the more dangerous ones.

Another reason they had reached this decision, was because apparently they would be moving to a base at the border of Rain, and this would mean Nanami wouldn’t be going out of the way, and as soon as the extraction was complete they could head straight in that direction.

Nanami had to admit that she was relieved with this decision- but not because of Raven Eyes reasonings.

She hoped that maybe by being there she could change something. She wasn’t sure how, or if it was even possible-

but fuck everything if she didn’t at least try.

False Pieces was  _ hers _ damn it.

Nanami absently watched her hands roll into firsts in her lap as she sat on the couch, waiting. She heard the door click shut and felt as Itachi and Kisame’s chakra moved away at a swift run.

“Nanami.” Sasori called from the door, and she stood and made her way over to them. 

“Ready to go, un?” Nanami looked up into Burning Earth’s one visible blue eye, she knew he’d put on that strange eye piece under his bangs- she couldn’t remember what it was for, but something about it made her… uncomfortable. Maybe it was the whole body modification aspect. She was glad it was removable at least.

Nanami nodded to Burning Earth, her throat too tight for words; with one last lingering look to the great stone room that had been her home for the last three years. She had a lot of good memories here. She turned her back to the room, and faced the men who were her whole reason for being.

Nanami would never really be ready, but she refused to be left behind.

* * *

 

Nanami watched from atop the large clay bird with baited breath. The bird circled around the top of the highest tower of the sand village. It was a still sort of night, the only commotion being Deidara’s attempts to bring Gaara down without causing a fuss. They hadn’t been expecting the ichibi to know they were here- the plan had been for her to wait outside and for Burning Earth to sneak into the building. That… hadn’t gone like it should have. At all.

The moonlight bleached everything an eerie pale shade, adding to the edgy atmosphere the abrupt change in plans created.

She knew Burning Earth was avoiding taking the high ground with the bird because she was here, she knew he was trying to avoid putting her in the middle of things.

She also knew that he needed to. He was at a sore disadvantage right now. 

The jinchuuriki had the home field advantage, and their stealth plan had failed- miserably. 

She chewed furiously at her lower lip, feeling anxious and slightly panicky and she watched the blond man duck underneath a curling swarm of sand and roll to the edge of the roof below her.

It was a long way down.

He looked up at her as they circled again, one blue eye glowing silver in the moonlight, she nodded to him.

_ Do it. _

She begged with her eyes. His mouth set into a hard line. Displeased.

He leapt backwards, pushing off the corner of the edge of the roof, his cloak and hair tailing in front of him and he landed lightly next to her on the back of the swooping bird.

“Stay down.” His tone booked no argument, and Nanami nodded crouching low on all fours, fingers and toes sinking into white clay with the force of her grip. She kept her silence.

This was not a battle Nanami could keep up in, as she was the one at a disadvantage in the air. Her summons were useless, her taijutsu null- she had a very limited number of options when it came to ranged attacks. She had her chakra strings, but they were mostly to provide her reach for her kekkei genkai, and there were very few animals this high up in the sky.

The clay bird made a haunting sort of sound that was somewhere between a doves coo and an owl's hoot, only it was entirely the wrong pitch and had an echo that it shouldn’t of. A heavy beat of its large wingspan had them rising even higher, and Deidara crouched next to her for a moment when the bird’s ascent curved sharply.

Nanami squeaked as they began to make a sharp dive towards the earth, and one look behind her told her that if they couldn’t go faster all that sand was going to catch up and  _ crush _ them.

The ground was fast approaching, the stream of deadly sand was brushing along their tail feathers. Nanami squeezed her eyes shut, only to experience a horrible lurching sensation when the bird managed to stop right before the ground and shoot back up into the air in a crazy physics defying motion. 

The sand crashed heavily into the earth behind them, apparently lacking the dexterity to make the same turn they had.

It didn’t stay there for long and it rose back up to follow- but it was enough. They had at least a three second lead now. 

Nanami had a moment to irrationally think about how she wished she had the forethought to put her hair in a ponytail before this. The high wind speeds had it whipping into her face constantly and it stung uncomfortably.

“A little longer, un.” She heard Deidara speak beside her as he reached into his clay pouch. 

Nanami watched the movement, and knew they would soon be abandoning the notion of a quiet capture. It’s not like they’d really managed that well from the beginning- a giant clay bird swooping about being tailed by the Kazekage’s sand wasn’t the most subtle of things.

They dove back down, and Nanami felt the breath leave her lungs as they shot between a section of buildings, making sharp turns between narrow alleys and circling back around. 

They passed inches above the quickly ducking heads of a group of sand-nin and Nanami knew then whatever cover they’d managed to have before was now thoroughly blown.

“Just a little more-” She wasn’t sure if Deidara was talking to himself or her but she nodded all the same. He flashed her a reassuring grin. 

Nanami’s eye’s widened and she brought his attention back to the front with a pointed finger as a new section of sand curved sharply around the nearest corner to aim for their noses.

“Shit!” and another heavy beat of wings brought them up over the city again the two trails of sand crashing into each other where they had been only moments before- they combined as one seamless entity and shot straight up into the air after them.

The chase was relentless.

Nanami’s lower lip was bleeding from biting down on it too hard, the the coppery taste grounded her nerves and helped her hold in the startled screams that wanted to bubble up and out of her throat. 

She trusted Deidara, he was a skilled shinobi- he was going to get them out of this cluster fuck in one piece.

They rose higher still, the trails of sand just behind and Deidara turned to look over his shoulder at a point far below. She followed his line of sight to see a figure clad in red standing casually atop the tallest roof. Sand swirled around him making his hair and robes billow wildly.

She could barely see his seafoam green eyes tracking their movements in the moonlight.

Gaara crouched low and sprung from the rooftop- Nanami could see the chakra pooling in his feet to assist the leap- he landed atop the stream of sand that was quickly backing off their tails and he ran up its length towards them like it was a staircase.

Nanami had a moment to appreciate the boy’s skill. He was actually pretty cool with all his swirling sand and kohl lined eyes. 

Not as cool as Burning Earth though.

His sand pooled at his feet and it rose to bring him the last of the distance to level him with their bird.

Deidara rose to stand, making a slight movement with his left leg to nudge her to move behind his billowing cloak. She stayed low behind him, his bulk and Akatsuki attire covered most of her from sight. 

“How’d you know I was here?” Deidara called out, bring himself to the forefront of attention- just in case the ichibi had noticed her. 

She wasn’t supposed to be caught up in this but, well, here she was.

She could hear his hand-mouth chewing furiously in the moment of stillness.

“There are no birds like that in the desert.” Gaara told the blond man without raising his voice. Nanami shivered, he had a nice voice. She liked the animalistic undertone.

A crescent of sand rose slowly from the redheads feet to hover over his shoulders threateningly. Nanami peeked around the edge of the bird to see large groups of shinobi were beginning to gather on rooftops.

“Cover is definitely blown.” She murmured.

“Un.” Burning Earth agreed, bringing a hand up to click at his mechanical eye.

Gaara brought both his hands up slowly, purposefully, palms facing the sky. Nanami felt dread curl in her belly- and rightly so as a tsunami sized wall of sand rose from the ground, megatons of sand- (She thought somewhere in the back of her mind that he must have even  _ more _ chakra than Oceans did to control the sheer amount of earth rising up before them.)

The sand began to solidify, shaping into a massive claw tipped paw-like hand with hardened black talons.

“Shit- Nanami hold on.” and then they were shooting through the night again at break-neck speeds. She crouched low, ducking her head into her chest just as Deidara brought his center of gravity down to join her. 

The massive sand paw followed them- making near miss swipes and crushing nothing in its fist with a sound so loud it made her ears ring.

If they got caught in that… 

They swooped low, and made an acrobatic move to swing upside down and over the ichibi’s fist- Nanami felt gritty bits scrape the back of her neck and she knew this was too far out of hand now.

Sasori was going to be pissed.

Deidara reaching both hands into his clay pouches, retrieving more of the white substance for whatever jutsu he was preparing for, Nanami hoped it would come soon.

They dropped low under a swipe and she squeaked again at the suddenness of it, her stomach rising with the drop, the butterflies of anxiety in her belly doing a double take.

They paused then, pushing backwards slightly to hovering high above the city, and Burning Earth opened his fists to reveal piles of many little bird sculptures.

He rose to stand once more, and looked down at Gaara from the slight height advantage above and before where he stood on his sand cloud. The massive ichibi claw hovered around him, curling it’s fingers towards it’s palm in a loud, threatening, grinding sound. 

“Art is a bang.” Deidara said then with a blood thirsty twist to his lips and a spark in his blue eye that she usually only saw in Hidan.

He threw the birds and they shot out with a single minded determination to fulfil their purpose.

Deidara had his hands back in his clay pouches even as the birds began to explode along the length of Gaara’s rivers of sand- severing weak points completely and scattering other clumps in explosive arcs of fire and smoke.

Burning Earth threw another grin at her, and uncurled his hands to reveal the dragonfly like birds she knew had quite a bit more firepower than the others. These ones were also stupid fast.

She grinned back at him.

They shot out too quickly for her to follow from her crouched position, and their great bird perch twisted in a sharp turn.

She saw over one wing the massive explosion just inside Gaara’s defense that burned a bright orange in the night- it displaced the air around the jinchuuriki, blowing her hair to the side and tearing at her red shirt and black pants. Beside her Deidara’s cloak made snapping sounds as it trailed in the same direction as her own clothing.

Little bits of- something- shot out from the center of the blast raining down with trails of smoke onto the city below.

They hovered for a minute- waiting as the smoke cleared.

A large sphere of sand was revealed, and Gaara was nowhere in sight. It hovered before them quietly.

“It’s like an egg.” Deidara laughed. 

A shadow fell over them.

“Deidara!” Nanami shireked in surprise as the massive paw rose silently behind them- the blond man whipped around- “Shit!” and they shot off again as the hand exploded around them; curving over the tops of their heads and below their wings to case them in. 

Their bird crashed directly into it; crumpling into a heap as Burning Earth swung around and crouched over her, gathering small limbs into his center and curling the edges of his cloak around her. She clutched at his shirt, her chakra rising into the air above her in her fear to join Deidara’s wildly lashing ambient chakra.

He was startled and afraid- almost as much as she was, although he didn’t show it.

The moonlight disappeared, and the air stilled so suddenly and harshly that it jarred her senses.

They were inside the sand.

Burning Earth squeezed her to him as the hot sand pressed in on all sides, scraping her flesh with its abrasiveness- she found it difficult to breath as her source of oxygen was cut off and replaced by sand.

“Hold tight.” Deidara huffed out on his last breath into her hair, and she didn’t need to be told twice as she clutched to him in a white knuckled grip. “Katsu.” He whispered.

The sand around them rippled and Burning Earth gripped her tightly as their bird exploded without heat and expelled them from the sand prison like a missile.

And suddenly there was air again rushing past them as they shot towards the ground- Nanami bit her tongue to hold in the scream as the earth rushed forward to greet them. Blood filled her mouth and she concentrated on the swirl of ambient chakra around them because she couldn’t let him die- she had to do something- Burning Earth was going to hit the ground- and from this height- oh gods he wouldn't survive-

She squeezed her eyes shut at the first touch of sand on their tangled legs and it gripped her tightly tearing her away from her Red Cloud in a vicious yank that had them both swinging in seperate directions.

His blue eye widened on her, his arms reaching out even as she was pulled away. She saw him mouth her name.

She would have cried out if there was any air to do it with- so quickly was she swung through the sky she couldn’t seem to get any into her lungs.

She watched as Burning Earth was whipped through the air by his leg, back towards the sphere they had just escaped from, it opened with jagged teeth that dripped heavy sand to receive him.

He twisted midair and an explosion burning hot with fire tore through it’s mouth causing the sphere to melt wetly before blowing completely apart.

The sand dragging Nanami through the air pulled her flush with Gaara’s sphere just as Deidara threw another sculpture into the air bringing to life a new perch. He landed on it’s back and she saw it turn sharply towards her, Deidara’s blue eye zeroing in on her person just as the gritty hot sand began to absorb her limbs into it.

She choked, the pressure around her body heavy and tight. 

It went dark again, with only the sound of shifting, sliding sand.

Nanami squeezed her eyes shut as the sand swallowed her whole. She reached out with her senses, the only movement available to her and she saw not with her eyes but with her chakra.

She bumped into another body in the dark.

“So it’s true.” The Kazekage murmured at her ear. She couldn’t move, she struggled fruitlessly. “I thought I saw a child.” He said, more to himself than to her. As if confirming it.

Nanami kept her silence, unsure of why he hadn’t just outright killed her yet.

The body next to her shifted with a murmured, “Got him…” Moonlight filtered in, peircing her eyes for a moment as the sand from his sphere left a gap to stretch out towards Burning Earth, it trailed up his outstretched arm, enveloping the appendage as even as the bird he rode pushed him away with heavy beats of massive wings.

Nanami panicked. Her heart beat wildly in her chest, her lungs burning even though she breathed the new air entering the gap in the sand that allowed her to see her Red Cloud.

Gaara’s sea foam green eyes narrowed on her blond brother, his arm rose out of the gap towards him, his hand slowly forming a fist.

“Sabaku ky-” Nanami whipped her chakra strings out faster than she ever thought possible coiling them around Gaara’s outstretched fist that she knew was prepared to crush Burning Earth’s arm into nothing but wet ragged stripped of useless flesh.

“ _ Not on your life!”  _ She howled in rage and panic, her chakra strings shredding through his ambient chakra even as he attempted the jutsu. She tore into it in her panic pulling chunks of chakra away as her own chakra disengaged from his. 

Nanami severed his connection to the outside sand, tearing through it with thrashing chakra strings like a cornered beast. The river of outstretched sand fell loosely to the ground far below, slipping off of Deidara’s still intact arm.

Gaara screamed, a harsh pained sound as she shredded through his chakra like wet paper with single minded determination.

She was going to  _ eat him alive howdarehe _ -

The sand around her shifted again, tightening around her ribs. Her breath left her in a rush and she heard her bones grind together and groan in protest.

The sphere expelled her like yesterdays lunch, and she shot out and towards the ground at a speed her body had never experienced before. Black spots danced in her vision as she fruitlessly attempted to get air into her lungs.

She slammed into something yielding and soft- but it was only a slightly better option than the ground when her forearm gave a loud wet  _ snap _ with the force of her body nailing into it.

“Fuck!” She heard Deidara’s breathless curse, and she would never admit it to anyone but the agony in her shattered arm was so thorough and piercing in her brain that she just never quite reached that coherent point of ‘this hurts I should probably cry.’ 

Deidara would later retell it that she took it like a champ. She was fine with this.

Burning Earth clutched at her little body and she cradled her arm as he rearranged her on the back of the bird.

“Can you hold on, un?” He asked her in a rush, and she nodded over the pain, seeping chakra into the clay to grip herself to it. 

It’s not like she had a choice- hold onto the damned thing or fall off and die. She knew which option she’d rather take.

“Sasori no danna is going to kill me.” He said anxiously, his blue eye dark and shadowed as he took in the arm clutched to her chest.

Burning Earth moved to stand, cradling a howling statue in the crook of his arm.

His mouth set into a grim line. “Let’s finish this, un.” 

He tossed it out gently, his motion at odds with what was basically a small atomic bomb that poofed into its larger form to fall slowly down to the village below.

Nanami grit her teeth in pain and watched as the panting, sweating, form of Gaara with blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth registered the bomb that was about to level his entire village and then some.

The howling faced bomb spread its wings as it fell, the thousands of faces of the villagers and shinobi alike watched it’s decent with terrified eyes.

Nanami turned away and buried her face into her uninjured arm just as the blinding white light of the bomb lit up the night.

It exploded, even as the tsunami of sand rose to block the danger.

Winds shredded at her clothing, and she hunched over her broken arm in an attempt to hold it still. It didn’t do much. She grit her teeth in pain, her eyes began to water just as the deafening boom hit her ears in a sound so loud it became nothing as her ears responded by swelling the canal shut in front of her ear drums.

There was only the ringing in her head, and she head Deidara’s screaming war cry of “Katsu!” as his second bomb inside Gaara’s perfect defense exploded- his voice only a whisper over the ringing even though she knew he’d probably been loud about it.

Nanami panted, trying to catch her breath over the onslaught of sensations.

This was quite an event for her first real shinobi battle.

“Almost done, un.” Deidara reassured her softly, (which she didn’t hear but saw his lips make the shape of the words) as sand began to lightly fall away from Gaara’s defensive dome.

“I mixed clay into his sand before you destroyed his connection to it, un.” He explained, and his tone was proud as his blue eye watched her pant and curl into his bird.

“Art…” he began, turning back to the barely conscious Gaara with a menacing smirk. “Is a blast!”

The next (and last) explosion didn’t even register to Nanami and she hunched behind Deidara, she concentrated on swirling chakra strings around her arm, tightly weaving them together around the breaks in a makeshift splint. 

They settled against her skin in a net, firmly holding the shattered bone in place.

It hurt like a bitch.

“Hou…” Deidara’s small noise of interest caught her attention as the ringing in her ears began to recede. 

“How noble, as expected of a Kage.” Nanami looked out to see Gaara using the last of his chakra to move the massive wall of sand that had defended them from the howling faced bomb away from the city.

He didn’t want anyone to get hurt, she knew. Even with the last of what he had to offer he would still protect the people he loved. Nanami understood his actions wholeheartedly, even Deidara’s tone seemed approving.

“It’s over, un.” Deidara pronounced as sea foam green eyes slipped shut behind darkly bruised lids. Burning Earth’s rescued hand- whole and uninjured landed atop her head to gently stroke over her hair even though he wasn’t even looking; as if to absently reassure himself she was fine. (sortof fine)

They swooped forward to catch the falling Jinchuuriki.

And hope bloomed in Nanami’s mind- because if she could change this one small thing, maybe she could change some others...


	26. Blame (Innocent)

"We all must have a purpose, a life that we must own. Instead we fight for nothing, and only exist until we fall." -For the Innocent, Teramaze

* * *

 

Nanami’s hair whipped wildly around her face from her position on the back of Deidara’s bird. They were ridiculously high, higher than he’d ever taken her before in the aftermath of the battle. The air was thin up here, and crisp. The cold felt good and her flushed and sweaty skin.

The blond man was grinning down at her in their shared success. Nanami brought her uninjured arm to curl her flailing hair behind an ear, having long ago tired of the constant ringing of her braided bell and silenced it. She turned to look at the still form of the red haired man held tight inside the bird’s tail. 

His sand armour was cracking all over his face, and little bits of it continued to blow away into the air.

Her clay perch swerved with another echoing cry that sounded haunting in the night. They circled around and headed towards where she knew False Pieces would be waiting for them.

He was going to be so pissed.

“Eh!” Deidara jerked suddenly, and the bird beneath them made a sudden heavy beat of wings that brought them just over the flight path of a turret arrow. Nanami grit her sharp little teeth together past the pain of her jarred injury. It was no longer bleeding, wrapped tight in red cloth that she’d torn from the bottom of her shirt to staunch the flow, but it still  _ hurt. _

The arrow exploded in the air above them as it passed with a plume of fire and smoke, Nanami gripped harder at the clay under her uninjured hand. Deidara dropped down next to her, his blue eye flicking down to her arm, and then up to her pale sweaty face.

She cracked a weak smile in an attempt to reassure him. He did not look reassured.

She turned, unsure of what to say and not trusting herself to speak, and looked down at the quickly passing city of sand far below them. She heard the many cries of cease fire rise up on the wind.

“Sasori no danna is probably tired of waiting by now, un.” He told her with a blue eye that glowed silver in the moonlight through wildly whipping blond hair.

She huffed a small laugh, because False Pieces was  _ always  _ tired of waiting. 

The clay bird hooted it’s echoing call into the night.

* * *

 

They landed just outside the cities large earthy wall, the moonlight made the ever reaching expanse of desert sand glow white.

Sasori’s chakra thrashed about in agitation from waiting for their very late arrival. Things… han’t really gone well. But at least they had retrieved Gaara.

“It took a little longer than expected.” She told him softly with a pained twist to her lips. Dark eyes of the scorpion puppet turned towards her, giving her a quick once over before returning to Burning Earth with narrowed eyes.

“ _ Deidara.” _ He rolled the ‘R’s’ of his partner’s name harshly in his fury, having not missed the way Nanami clutched her broken arm, her singed skin and clothing that spoke loud and clear that she had been involved when she wasn’t supposed to be. Nanami supposed the now dry and flaking blood crusted all the way up both arms probably wasn’t helping her image any either.

“You were supposed to keep her clear of the battle.” He said in a low baritone.

“She’ll be fine, just a little banged up, un. We need to move they’ll be coming this way.” Deidara said quickly, still high on the adrenalin from the fight with the ichibi, and he leapt down from the bird. 

“Stay there Nanami, un.” He told her as he fell, and Nanami understood that she would have to wait to call her summons and request a healing, there wasn’t time to stop for that kind of thing right now. Still, she was grateful for the time she’d put into training with the deer.

Most summons had a specialty- like the toads and close combat, the snakes and their poisons, the slugs were masters at healing. The deer were also quite good at healing, being much more in tune with their nature aspect, with a secondary specialty in speed, and awareness of their surroundings. They made excellent watchers in the night.

Deidara landed with a crunch of sand underfoot next to Sasori, and the puppet master handed him his sakat with a clipped movement that told her he was still very irritated. Burning Earth adorned the thing, little white ribbons fluttered in the breeze, and the clay bird gave a great beat of its wings as it forced itself forward to follow the artist duo’s easy pace.

Nanami turned her attention back on Gaara, and she traced the cracking lines of his sand skin with her eyes as she settled back down.

Gaara’s red hair ruffled about as they moved through the air. Nanami reached out a tentative, uninjured hand to trace the kanji for love that was brutally carved into the boys forehead. It seemed… contrary to the point. She pulled away, considering the boy named Gaara.

He kind of… looked like Sasori. A little bit. She wouldn’t mention that though. She caught the puppet master in question giving the city behind them a last scornful look as they moved away.

She could only imagine how much he hated the village he had once called home. She couldn’t say she really liked the place much either after all the excitement she’d been through tonight.

Nanami blinked then, suddenly distracted by the chakra signatures following behind them.

She leaned over the side of the bird at the duo on the ground. “We have company.” She called down to them, and Deidara’s blue eye flashed up at her from under the brim of his hat.

Nanami tilted her head, taking a second to count the individual signatures.

“At least six.” She told him. 

“Un.” He acknowledged with a slight nod.

“It is not unexpected.” Sasori said gravelly. “We did just kidnap the Kazekage.” But the artist duo heeded her words regardless and created a group of clones to split off and create false trails. She watched them head in different directions absently.

Her arm was throbbing. Her eyelids felt heavy, her skin was hot where it had been singed by fire and rubbed raw with sand. She’d probably have a lot of bruises to count in her free time.

Nanami nodded, bringing her mind back to what Sasori had just said, because that seemed like the thing to do when a group of missing-nin swooped in and stole your village leader. (Not that it was that easy or anything.)

There was only the sound of the wind in her ears, and the soft crunching of sand beneath feet for a little while, but soon she lifting her tired eyes to look back the way they’d come. A large plume of smoke rose into the air followed by a cloud of disturbed dust and sand.

“Looks like they fell for your trap, un.” Deidara commented. 

“One of us came prepared.” Sasori snarked back at his partner, black eyes flicking up to look at her and back over to bright blue.

“Down to one in pursuit.” Nanami called down, interrupting whatever Burning Earth might have had to say.

“Tch. Persistent little sand rats, un.” They cut off a few more clones. 

Nanami sighed, and lay down carefully on the bird’s back to watch Gaara’s unconscious form and the trail mixed among many false ones that they were leaving behind. 

With only the sound of the soft ringing of the bell on Deidara’s sakat, the crunch of sand beneath their feet and the wind in her ears she was soon lulled into a shallow kind of sleep that her aching body would allow.

* * *

 

“Stop!” The angry cry had her jerking awake to find the soft light of dawn illuminating the desert around them in orange and red hues. 

Her arm was  _ burning. _ She choked back a gasp as the jarring movement she had made shot hot blades of agony up her arm and down her spine. Her chakra was down to almost nothing, her makeshift splint long gone, but at least her shirt bandage was holding tight.

“Found you.” A voice snarled and Nanami looked over the side of the clay bird to see a boy in a strange cat-eared hood with purple kabuki make-up. 

_ Kankuro. _

Why couldn’t they catch a damn break? Freaking sand-nin.

Kankuro’s eyes briefly flashed up to look at Gaara who was curled tight inside clay tail feathers. His eyes widened briefly when he saw her, (Did that mean she was or wasn’t noticed during the battle?) but his attention was quickly brought back to the artist duo before him.

“Deidara, take Nanami and go ahead.” Sasori told his partner in the distorted voice of his puppet.

Kankuro reached for the scrolls at his back with a stern, almost desperate expression in response, pulling all three loose and unraveling them with a practiced flick of his hands.

“I won’t let you take Gaara.” and Nanami empathized with the tone of his voice. He was only trying to protect his precious person.

But so was she. 

And Nanami was so  _ over _ Sunagakure right now, it wasn’t even funny.

Summoning smoke filled the air and veiled the boy from sight as he unsealed what she assumed was his puppets. Sasori slid forward to meet his assault.

The three puppets surrounded the cat-eared man making loud chattering noises that grated on her abused ears- much louder than the sound Sasori’s made.

“Hm.” Deidara made a small sound and turned to leap up on the back of the bird next to her. He grinned down at her and she returned it tiredly. His expression drooped a little as he got a better look at her, and a kind of steeliness flashed through one blue eye. He turned his gaze on Gaara briefly and she could see the accusation on his face.

She followed his gaze to the comatose red head. She didn’t blame Gaara, he’d only been trying to protect his village. Protect himself from her. Everyone was only looking out for their own.

She wasn’t even supposed to be involved.

Their bird swooped forward, leaving the puppet master behind to deal with the sand-nin.

She was confident Sasori would be fine with this one. She knew he would be.

“Be safe!” She scraped up the energy to call out anyways as they began their forward momentum. 

“Careful Nanami, you’ll ruin his image, un.” Burning Earth told her with a soft chuckle.

“ _ I won’t let you leave!”  _ Kankuro screamed at them with a vicious expression, his eyes steady on the form of his brother. His hands twisted through the air, fingers maneuvering the chakra strings attached to the three-eyed slightly human looking puppet with too many arms.

It chattered loudly as it flew towards them. Deidara whipped around and brought a hand out to grasp her shoulder and pull her towards him just as Sasori’s scorpion tail lashed out lightning quick to snatch the chattering thing from the air. 

Nanami whimpered pathetically, and Deidara’s hand let go of her like he’d been burned.

“I’m am your opponent.” False Pieces growled lowly, his tail crushing the puppet into parts that looked like they were supposed to come away like that anyways. They littered the ground around Sasori. 

Deidara huffed in irritation and their clay perch picked up speed. Nanami watched Sasori’s battling form disappear slowly in the light of dawn as they soared through the air and left him behind.

“He’s an unlucky one.” Deidara said to her. “Sasori no danna is probably the worst opponent for him, un.”


	27. Human (Something Else)

"The hunt is over, so the feast begins. What feast is enduring when all is said and done?" -Dream-lore Degenerate, Dark Tranquility

* * *

 

Nanami crouched low, sliding backwards across the sand with a feral snarl. 

There was fucking sand everywhere. The wind had picked up, it blew the gritty substance into her face and eyes and even her mouth. It crunched disgustingly between her teeth.

Another sand-nin lunged at her and she pushed off with chakra enhanced feet, body turned slightly to hold her injury away from the man. For all the good that did- he body checked her smaller form and she went crashing into the piled dunes. Blood filled her mouth with how hard she bit her tongue in an attempt to hold back her scream of agony. She stood quickly, body turned at an angle. 

She didn’t want this enemy to know she was already injured, but his eyes alighting on her blood crusted arm wrapped in what was clearly shreds of her clothing told her it was a futile effort.

He made another lunge, a kunai in each hand and she snapped her teeth at him like a wild beast.

Didn’t these shinobi know that she was  _ done. _

“Fuck you!” She screamed at the adult and she bent backwards over a pathetically slow swipe at her throat, she curved her torso around in an arch and pushed off with bare toes inside the space between his chest and brandished kunai.

The nails on the hand of her intact arm were sinking into his neck and curling around his trachea before she could even register the right attack. Thank you Raven Eyes for all the muscle memory exercises.

His eyes glazed as fresh blood poured over her arm, and he fell heavy to the ground, leaving only the wet chunk of his throat that she’d stolen from him tight in her grip. She dropped it into the sand like a bit of useless garbage and snarled at his body. She was tired and frustrated and she was out of chakra  _ again _ and she never wanted to see sand for the _ rest of her life _ .

“Nanami,” Burning Earth called to her as he headed towards an outcropping of stone where his bird was perched, Gaara still clutched tightly in its tail.

She dragged herself to join him, stepping over bodies and kunai that were quickly becoming buried in the onslaught of wind blown sand. 

She ducked under the awning of the small shelter with relief. 

“Alright there?” He asked without looking at her, they both peered into the sand storm. They couldn’t see much but Nanami could feel Sasori’s chakra not far off.

“I’m alright, Sasori is coming.” She didn’t want to worry him anymore, so she deflected.

“Un.” He acknowledged. His eyes slid to her for a second, taking her her black and blue arm, the way the bruises crawled up her neck and down her leg. The ankle that Gaara had grasped with his sand to swing her through the sky was swollen, the skin an angry red color. 

“Nanami.” He said softly his gaze skittering away from her when she looked over at him. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean for you to get involved.” And for a moment she was stunned, because Deidara was nothing if not prideful, and for him to make an apology (when it wasn’t even his fault) seemed kind of like a big deal.

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered back. “I’m just glad you’re safe.” He snorted at that, and his gaze did come down to meet hers. She smiled, he sort of smiled back. It was a bit hesitant, but it was something.

Nanami reached for him with her good hand and pulled gently on the fabric of his sleeve.

“Un?” He questioned, because it wasn’t like her to act insecure or cling. She cried a lot, but Nanami would have never made it as long as she had within the Akatsuki if she’d truly behaved like a child. 

She didn’t meet his eyes.

“Can I see your arm?” He huffed and pulled up his sleeve accommodatingly. The skin was smooth, whole. He had bruises and scrapes that matched hers but his arm was  _ there  _ and it was  _ attached. _

“Worth it.” She murmured. He did laugh then, his blue eye danced, and he brought his hand up to ruffle her hair.

It was another fifteen minutes of anxious waiting before the hunched form of Sasori’s scorpion puppet appeared. 

“You're late.” Burning Earth called in agitation. Ouch; low blow, right where Nanami knew it would hurt the most.

Above them the clay bird flapped its wings as it waited, seemingly responding to Deidara’s flickering chakra.

“Don’t get so touchy.” False Pieces grouched back at him in a low gravelly tone.  Deidara’s blue eyes narrowed and he scowled at his partner. Nanami absently brushed her ambient chakra along his in an attempt to calm the fight she could feel building while she checked False Pieces over.   His sky blue eye flicked down to her in surprise, and she rewarded him with a small smile. She brushed her gritty hair away from her face with the muted ring of a bell.

“Let’s get moving.” False pieces called even as he turned to leave. “I have an additional mission after this, and Nanami needs her summons.” He grumbled like it was a bother as he slid across the sand that swirled into the air. 

Nanami pulled the collar of her red shirt over her nose and mouth and exited the stone lean-to.

She clambered atop it to perch herself onto the clay bird as it rose back into the air. She eyed the still comatose form of the Kazekage when his chakra gave a weak flicker.

“Good grief.” Burning Earth complained as he trotted to catch up with his partner. 

Within an hour they were crossing into a glorious tree line flushing with bright green leaves.

Nanami let out a relieved breath. Thank the gods, she never wanted to step foot in a desert ever again.

* * *

By mid day they had come to the precipice of a ravine back home in river country. Below them was a large round stone set into the canyon wall with a seal blocking the entrance marked by a red torii arch.

Nanami stepped from the clay bird to land lightly on the flowing water with her two Akatsuki, holding her arm close to her middle. The surface tension of the water helped to buoy any kickback the landing might of had on her injury.

Deidara made a simple hand seal, and the round stone rose into the air with a groaning, grinding protest.

Nanami followed behind them plaintively as they entered the cave. She shivered at the change in temperature; it was a lot cooler on the inside, but it felt nice on her flushed skin. The cave was large, easily the size of a football field. The lack of stalactites and stalagmites told her it had probably been made with a jutsu, but it had a nice rounded circular shape to it that she liked. 

A wavering, colorful form shimmered into existence to greet them. 

The body lantern jutsu, Nanami realized as she took in the shape of a tall male. It was sort of like looking at a tv with terrible reception.

He turned towards them, “You’re late.” Pein monotoned, and his ripple patterned eyes rested briefly on her for the first time. She didn’t miss the way he seemed to make a subtle double take at her appearance. She was sure she presented quite the battle worn image right now.

She attempted a small bow to be polite, and his attention turned away dismissively. “Prepare immediately.” He told the artist duo, and Deidara’s bird swooped inside with their prize as the round stone came crashing back down to throw them into darkness.

“Do you have enough chakra for your summons?” Sasori asked from her side. She nodded in the dark, and then added “I think so.” Because she didn’t know if he could see her or not. Her rest for the last few hours had give her at least that much chakra. She’d be useless again after though.

The wavering multi-colored light of Pein’s lantern body turned away and made a long string of seals, he smashed his palm onto the ground as Burning Earth’s bird poofed back into the smaller compact sculpture and returned to Deidara’s hand, leaving only Gaara’s prone form to lay on the ground.

A massive amount of summoning smoke exploded in front of them and Nanami edged backwards a little in response to the way the sound echoed loudly inside the walls of the cave.

The figure of a large wooden demon rose before them; it had nine eyes, two of them had pupils and the rest were empty, it held two chained hands out before itself openly, as if to receive an offering.

Nanami knew it had a name, but she couldn’t really remember what it was. She made her way to an empty stretch of floor to the side while they took care of their business. Her eyes adjusted to the dark after another moment and she crept her way through all the needed hand seals with caution- she didn’t need to make her arm any worse than it already was.

“Gather.” Pein’s voice demanded, and one by one figures wavered into existence atop each finger. Nanami would have liked to greet them properly, but she’d waited a long time to do something about her arm, and she was ready to not be in pain anymore.

She knew they cared, but she also knew broken bones weren’t really anything new to her Red Clouds. She needed to learn to take these things in stride better. (She had never had a problem with pain tolerance before, but this injury had been on a whole new level for her.)

A second puff of summoning smoke filled the air as a small doe appeared. It danced from hoof to hoof, it’s legs makes clacking sounds against the stone. A single brown eye turned to look at her.

“Oh, little human. What mess have you gone and gotten yourself into?” This doe was named Shiro after her sleek coat of white fur. She was a descendant of Renji. He had told her to ask for Shiro if she was ever in need of iryojutsu.

Behind her she felt the artist duo’s chakra flash up to take their places atop their respective finger, and she gingerly settled herself onto the ground. Nanami used fingers and teeth to untie the tight knot Burning Earth had helped her make, and carefully unwound the red cloth.

Her arm looked terrible.  A matted mess of dark bruises, and the puncture where the bone had come through the skin was weeping a yellowish brown liquid. 

_ Gross. _

“Shiro,” She greeted softly. “Could you help me out please?” She offered her arm to the doe even as she came forward; her warm nose touching gently to Nanami’s arm with a glowing green light.

She sighed in utter relief as the tension and pain started to ebb. She watched as the swelling went down, and felt the strangest sensation as the bone shifted and softly seamed back together. The puncture smoothed leaving fresh, sensitive pink skin behind.

Nanami looked up to find many pairs of eyes watching her with grim faces. A few turned to Deidara.

“What the fuck man.” Loud Blood hissed at the blond.

“Things didn’t go as planned, un.” The blonde shot back defensively.

“That is apparent.” Raven Eyes soft voice drifted down to her. Deidara huffed, his blue gaze roving down to look at her too. She smiled for him, because she wasn’t upset. Things happened, she got a little hurt- but it was over and they got out intact. (mostly)

Oceans was the only one grinning at her, and she felt a flash of appreciation that she wasn’t worrying him at least. She didn’t want to be a burden.

“Yea, but look at the other guy.” Kisame laughed, head tilting toward Gaara.

Kakuzu’s red and green eyes caught hers with an unreadable look before he turned away. Nanami turned her attention back to the doe before her. The summon lifted her snout away, and Nanami flexed her fingers to test it out. The muscle felt too tight, and there was an ache in her bone but atleast it wasn’t white hot pain anymore.

“Be careful with that for a while, little human. The break is delicate.” The doe said in a motherly tone. Nanami nodded, “Thank you for helping Shiro.” 

The deer tilted her head slightly, ears flicking this way and that for a moment, “Anytime.” She said softly and Shiro dismissed herself with a poof.

The anxiety and stress she’d been carrying between her shoulder blade’s relaxed a little, because now the immediate danger was over. She just had to worry about…

She looked up and over at Sasori to find him already watching her, and her gaze skittered away as she stood.

“Everyone is in position?” Pein questioned, he received a smattering chorus of affirmatives as Nanami made quick strides over to Gaara’s comatose body on the floor. 

Nanami crouched before him and reached down quietly to brush her hand through gritty red bangs, fingers smoothing lightly over the kanji on his forehead in a silent apology.

“It’ll be alright.” She whispered to the jinchuriki boy, regretful for the pain he was about to endure. They may have been enemies in his village, but here he was just a boy. A boy who was about to die. She caressed his ambient chakra in an attempt to comfort him in his unconscious state, and was surprised to find it… damaged. Had she… done that? 

“Let’s begin.” Pein said quietly, and she looked over to find ripple patterned eyes giving her a considering look.

His image flickered and he appeared on his own perch, leaving only a single empty wooden finger.

“From here forward it will be three days and three nights.” He told everyone, his voice distorted by the body lantern jutsu. “Keep your attention on your real bodies as well.”

“Zetsu,” He continued. “Keep an eye out on the outside. Use the longest range.” 

“I understand.” The plant man’s soft voice floated down to her sending shivers up her spine. 

Nanami didn’t really like Zetsu, despite having never even met him. Just the thought of the half-Kaguya half-Senju creature made her uncomfortable on levels she couldn’t even describe. She tried very hard to understand where he was coming from, but she couldn’t help but feel a little resentful towards him.

She wasn’t perfect. She was only human and she couldn’t bring herself to accept everything. 

He was going to bring about the demise of a lot of people she loved, and a part of her truly hated him for it- even as another part of her said it wasn’t her place to judge. 

Still… hatred was a heady thing, and she worked hard to keep it from tainting who she was as a person-

That way lies madness.

“Three days?” Kisame questioned, his silver eyes flickering down to her and then back up to their leader. “Shouldn’t we consider that it might take longer since we don’t have the sannin?”

“Let’s just get this over with.” Pein responded, sounding slightly resigned. There was a murmur of agreement from the men gathered around, and Nanami sat herself on the cold stone below them to wait patiently.

“Child.” Pein’s voice had her head snapping back up to him; stiff necked and at attention. “Be quiet and stay out of the way.” 

She just smiled at him. She knew what her job was now, and it was exactly that. Wait quietly. She did a lot of that with her Red Clouds, she was sure she could handle it.

His rinnegan narrowed on her for a moment before he turned away.

“Sealing jutsu: Nine Phantom Dragons.” He monotoned, and at the sound of his voice, each wooden finger glowed with a kanji she knew matched the rings they wore, and a mass of glowing blue chakra poured out of the wooden demon’s mouth in the shape of dragon heads that were all gaping hungry mouths and viciously sharp teeth.

They crashed into the earth where Gaara’s prone form lay, and Nanami stood and flashed backwards to avoid their biting maws.

They lifted the ichibi into the air, and his eyes snapped open for the first time, his agonized screams echoing through the cave. Red chakra oozed from his eyes and mouth and Nanami shuddered at the feel of it.

Chakra sort of had tier levels to her- at the bottom was elemental chakra that wasn’t sentient at all, like what water and trees produced. 

Then there were animals, who were sentient but didn’t have that spark of intelligence. Above that she had added a level just for Samehada who was only base instincts but still sort of aware of it’s own existence.

After that was summons, capable of intelligence on human levels, but still animals just the same.

Then there was of course, the human tier. Chakra she could interact with but wasn’t as easy to make suggestions to like it was for the lesser tiers. Almost impossible actually. 

Then again…

Her gaze wandered up to look at Gaara, and her brows furrowed.

Apparently she could force the issue.

And then there was this chakra. This mass of red boiling hatred and malice that was both like an animals and a humans without actually being either one of them.

It was a thick, viscous kind of chakra that screamed in protest in a language only she could hear, layering over it’s hosts for an eerie sounding cry.

Her heart broke for the boy, because it wasn’t his fault he was a jinchuriki. He was just an unfortunate casualty of her Red Clouds desires.

She kept these thoughts to herself as she attempted to shut out the screams, and Nanami sat herself back down onto the stone and closed her eyes so she didn’t have to watch him die. It was going to be a long three days.

* * *

Kankuro watched as the silver haired man known as Kakashi summoned a little pug, and offered the dog the scrap of cloth he’d managed to tear from the Akatsuki who’d poisoned him.

He winced and leaned back a little more at the thought.

Ah, he felt like shit.

At his side his sister used a cool towel to pat his forehead, and he gave her a grateful smile, which she returned. 

Naruto folded his arms together at the foot of his hospital bed as the medic-nins busied themselves around the blond haired boy.

They kept shooting him irritated glances when he got in the way, but Naruto was completely obvious.

“Kankuro-kun.” an old warbly voice called, and he pushed himself back up with a little help from his sister.

“Chiyo-sama, Ebizo-sama” He greeted his elders respectfully, if not a little wearily.  The two approached with slow but sure steps that spoke of many years as soldiers, and grave faces that spoke of more than one war.

“I want to hear it one more time, directly from you, Kankuro-kun.” Chiyo pinned him with intense eyes set in sun weathered skin.

“There is no mistake that one of the two enemies was Sasori. Is that correct?” Her pitch lowered slightly, and Kankuro could hear the hurt buried beneath the serious tone.

This was personal for Chiyo-ba-sama.

Kankuro looked away, finding it hard to meet her eyes. His chest ached and his muscles strained in exhaustion, but he pushed the sensations away for now.

“Well?” Ebizo, Chiyo’s elder brother prompted him.

“Yea.” He said finally, looking at his hands in his lap. “Yea. It was Akasuna No Sasori.” He confirmed.

“If there’s any information you can provide us…” Kakashi spoke up, trailing off when Chiyo gave him a sharp look.

She didn’t like the son of the white fang. Too much old anger and prejudice left over from the last war.

Sakura’s clicking heels on the tile tile made themselves known, and she turned the corner into the room with bright features. “Kankuro!” She greeted, and made her way around the occupants in the room, completely ignoring the serious atmosphere. 

“We’ve finished the antidote.” She told him with a smile, and handed him a small paper cup with some kind of brown liquid inside it to drink.

It tasted like absolute crap. He didn’t mention it though, grateful for the momentary distraction. 

“Wow Sakura-chan, you are so amazing!” Naruto exclaimed with a bright smile, and the pink haired medic grinned back at him, glowing with her success.

“We’d better rest while we can, we have a hard march ahead of us tomorrow.” Kakashi said to his team, and Naruto looked ready to argue at that, obviously eager to leave after Gaara as soon as possible.

“Wait.” Kankuro called before they could exit his hospital room. “There was something else.” He said a little hesitantly, because at the time he’d been very focused on the S-class threats. 

But he was pretty sure he’d seen…

“I think... they had a little girl with them.” He told the leaf-nin, and before he could even blink Naruto was in front of him, eyes flashing red.

“Are you sure? What did she look like?” The blond aggressively demanded of him in a rush.

Kankuro leaned back- Naruto was a little too close…

“Naruto!” The pink haired medic admonished, and just like that he was backing up, looking sheepish and rubbing the back of his head.

“Eheh, sorry sorry, but this is important! Do you know what she looked like Kankuro?”

He nodded slowly, her image hovering over his brother’s body flashing in his mind’s eye.

“Shoulder length light brown hair, with braids and feathers. She was small, and young. I’m not sure how old… maybe seven?”

“I think she was injured…” He added absently, recalling the way she’d cried out at the touch of the Akatsuki at her side. That had been a wounded cry if ever he’d heard one.

“There have been several reports that a child was spotted on the back of the bird that took Kazekage-sama.” Ebizo added, and Chiyo gave him a sharp look.

Naruto’s breath hitched his attention flickering to the tall old man before coming back to Kankuro “A name? Did you get a name?” 

“Why’s this so important Naruto?” The silver haired jounin asked. The blond boys blue eyes flashed back to catch his teachers.

“I met her before, when I was traveling with ero-sennin. She’s just a little girl… they took her.” Here his fists clenched and he grit his teeth together. His blue eyes burned determination, and Kankuro could see in this moment what his brother had seen in this boy during the chunin exams.

“Ero-sennin said she went willingingly, but… but! Nanami is a good person! I know she is, They must have done something to her!” He said all in a very emotional rush.

And the sound of the name sparked something for Kankuro. “That was what Akasuna No Sasori called her. Nanami.” 

Surprise briefly flickered in Chiyo’s eyes at this information, but Kakashi was the only one who took notice.

“Thank you for letting us know, but you should rest now.” Sakura cut Naruto off, going into medic-mode. She took quick clipped steps forward and grabbed Naruto back the back of his shirt to bodily drag him away.

Naruto was not shy about making his protests known.

Kakashi gave them an awkward wave as he followed his team out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not beta-ed.


	28. Apathetic Eyes

“The fool who knows he is a fool is that much wiser.”

* * *

 

Nanami looked up sharply as the small animals chakra pinged on her mental map just outside their dwelling entrance. She’d been dozing quietly under the watchful eye of her Red Clouds; a little cold and stiff, but nothing she couldn’t ignore.

She looked towards where she knew the round stone pressed the entrance firmly shut and narrowed her eyes in thought.  It was a summon, she knew. Too dense to be a regular animal, but too light to be a humans.

“There’s a summon outside.” She broke the hours long silence, Gaara having long since fainted from the strain and she could feel the eyes on her back even as she kept her attention on her senses.

“Zetsu.” Pein’s voice commanded. 

“I'll just go see then shall I?” She heard the plant man reply. His sickly chakra flickered behind her, and his lantern image chakra was halved even as the projection remained in the room. 

The summon flashed away quickly, she nibbled gently at her bottom lip in thought, (It was still sore from all the biting she’d done in Sunagakure.) trying to remember if this had happened in the story or not.

She vaguely thought it might have. She wasn’t sure. She supposed it didn’t matter either way.

* * *

Kakashi watched as Naruto leapt to another branch ahead of them, ever the most eager shinobi to get the job done.

He sighed.

Sakura and the old woman from the sand village kept the pace with him easily, leaping through the trees at breakneck speeds towards the location Pakkun had reported before he’d sent his summon to intercept Gai’s team.

“Naruto.” He called, and the boy’s blue eyes flashed to meet his over an orange clad shoulder.

“We should talk.” He told the three year-long absent gennin. Sakura looked over at him too, and he worked not to sigh again.

He had hopped he wouldn’t need to discuss this with Naruto on this mission. When he’d been debriefed by Tsunade almost a year ago, it had been stated that Naruto may become emotional if faced with the girl, and this was already a tumultuous situation with his friendship with Gaara involved.

“The girl you asked about before.” and he could practically feel the defensiveness rising off the boy. They coiled and sprung off a new branch in tandem to reach the next.  “She is called the Child of the Akatsuki.” He told Naruto, and at his side Sakura tilted her head questioningly.

“We’ve been receiving small reports on her for years.” He answered the pink haired girls unasked question with a curved eye smile.

“Hou? Is that so.” Chiyo seemed to murmur to herself. Kakashi nodded, even though he knew she wasn’t speaking to him.

“They took her when she was fairly young, either attracted to her kekkei genkai… or something else- it’s not really known for sure. What we do know is that she’s managed to survive in their midst.” He skipped over the whole ‘future knowledge’ bit. That had been hard for him to swallow- he still didn’t believe it. Regardless though, that particular information was _highly_ classified. The threat of execution kind of classified. 

Here he paused, because he wanted to make sure Naruto was listening and he needed the boy to understand his next words carefully.

“She is loyal to them to a fault, Naruto.” Ahead of him, the son of the Fourth sprung from another branch with a bit more force than necessary. His fists clenched at his sides.

“You haven’t met her, Kakashi-sensei. So maybe she is loyal to those freaks- but she’s still just a little kid with a good heart. She’s just lost her way is all.” Naruto said, and Kakashi knew that for all the boys show of personality contradicted it- that Naruto was willfully stubborn, not stupid. So he was grateful that he could at least get Naruto to understand where her loyalties lie. All the rest… well, no one could sway Naruto once he’d set his sights on rescuing someone he considered a friend.

No one except probably the girl herself.

Kakashi did sigh then, because he knew there was nothing else he could say on the subject that would make any sort of impact.

“Naruto.” Kakashi said then, because he had to at least make sure his old student was informed, “The Child of the Akatsuki has a capture order on her head, and if that is found to be impossible… orders are to eliminate the threat.” He tried to soften the blow with his tone of voice- but Kakashi knew he wasn’t really the ideal candidate for this kind of talk. If only Iruka were here...

“We’ll get her out of there, her and Gaara.” Naruto said with a tone of finality.

“What’s this about a kekkei genkai?” Chiyo inquired innocently. Kakashi closed his one visible eye, bouncing from another branch to soar through the air.

“Yes, the details are classified, even above my clearance I’m afraid.” Which was a complete lie but he wasn’t going to tell this old bag anything.

Plus he kind of enjoyed annoying her knowing she hated him so much.

* * *

“The enemy's presence has been confirmed.” Zetsu spoke after some time and Nanami rolled onto her side across the hard stone so she could look up at the figures atop the massive wooden hands. “They are approaching our location.” Zetsu continued, reiterating what she had told them an hour prior. That was about as far as her chakra detection could reach, but it was still nothing to scoff at.

Deidara looked a little smug, and he flashed her a grin from his perch like he was pleased she’d had this information before the plant man had. Nanami grinned back, relieved at the return of his usual demeanor.

“A highly skilled enemy.” Zetsu continued gravely, bringing Nanami and Deidara’s attention back to his wavering colorful image. “By the name of Might Gai.” 

And Nanami found herself smothering a laugh into the crook of her elbow with a vengeance, because it was hilarious hearing anyone say that name with such a serious tone.

“Someone important?” Pein inquired. It was Itachi who answered him though. “A taijutsu master from Konoha. He’s clever despite appearances, don’t underestimate him.” The warning rang clear, and because it was Itachi it was taken seriously.

“Ah, that freak.” Kisame chuckled, probably remembering his previous encounter with the green beast when they’d infiltrated Konoha in their first attempt to retrieve the Kyuubi.

“I see. In that case… we might as well utilize Sasori’s preparations.” Pein spoke. 

Hidan’s image grinned ferally. Eager at the thought of blood. “I’ll go.” He volunteered.

“No. I’ll go… I have something of a person quarrel with him.” Kisame interrupted. 

Nanami narrowed her eyes at Ocean’s colorful flickering projection, barely registering his words. She was struck by the way he sat, legs folded with something in his lap.

Was he… reading a book?

Damn, she should have brought some ledgers or something.

“Go then. I’ll be taking a percentage of your chakra to remain here for the extraction.” Pein told him, ripple eyes sliding from Hidan to Kisame.

Hidan made a mildly annoyed sound.

And with that, the body lantern of Kisame dimmed considerably; down to less than half his normal chakra. Even still, half of what he had was five times more than what she had at a full rest.

“Be careful.” She murmured quietly to no one. She didn’t think Kisame could hear anyways.

Nanami watched over the next hour as more eyes on the demon slowly slipped open, and Gaara’s chakra grew fainter. 

“More guests.” Zetsu announced into the quiet.

Pein flashed Burning Earth an annoyed look. “Getting a little noisey isn’t it Deidara?” 

The blond man laughed awkwardly, and Sasori interjected before he could say anything. “I told you your jutsu wasn’t meant for covert operations.” 

Burning Earth’s blue eyes flashed in his own annoyance.

“We’ll it’s not like your traps were quite as a mouse either! Un!”

“Stop bickering.” Pein’s monotone cut through whatever Sasori was about to snap back with. 

“They’re Konoha shinobi.” Zetsu informed them. 

Rinnegan eyes slid over to Itachi. “Well, if that’s the case.” He informed Raven Eyes.

And the majority of Itachi’s chakra flickered away too.

Nanami sighed. She wished Konoha had just kept to themselves.

* * *

“Everyone Stop!” Kakashi’s voice had him skidding across the dirt to a halt behind his sensei, Sakura and the old woman right behind him. Naruto felt a shiver of panic curl in his gut at the sight of the man standing apathetically on the road before them, as if he had just happened to be here.

“Who’s that…” Sakura whispered at his side. He could see sweat trickling down the back of her neck from the corner of his eye.

“Those eyes…” Chiyo said quietly in recognition. 

“Well, this is sudden.” Kakashi-sensei said a little louder, calling the Akatsuki’s attention to the silver haired jounin.

“Uchiha Itachi.” Naruto bit out, Sakura muffled a surprised gasp next to him, her green eyes sliding from him to the cloaked man who continued to stand quietly before them.

He’s stalling, Naruto realized; clenching a fist in frustration.

“So he’s the one who slaughtered his entire clan.” Chiyo warbled scathingly. Itachi didn’t even twitch, he made no sign at all that he’d even heard the woman let alone had an emotional reaction to what she’d said. His features were like they’d been carved from stone.

“It’s been a while Kakashi-san, Naruto-kun.” He said pleasantly from behind the high collar of his cloak.

His spinning eyes didn’t give away much.

Naruto clench his teeth. 

This was the man responsible for taking Gaara. For twisting Nanami… for scarring Sasuke.

He hated him on sight.

“I’m going to take all of you down!” He yelled his frustration at the elder Uchiha with a rudely pointed finger.

Itachi didn’t even blink, but he did lift a casual hand.

“Don’t look at his eyes. It’s dangerous.” Kakashi interrupted the movement with a slightly panicked voice. Naruto felt the coil of unease tighten inside him in response. Very few things set sensei on edge.

This man was deadly.

“What the hell are you freaks planning! Kidnapping little girls not enough anymore? Now you’re stealing jinchuurikis?” And he was proud that his voice only shook a little.

Red eyes slid to look at him, but he keep his gaze firmly on the man’s shoulder.

“Ah, that’s right.” Itachi spoke softly, he strained to catch all the words.

“You made friends with our little Nanami-chan, didn’t you Naruto-kun?”

Naruto’s teeth snapped together with a sharp clack at the sound of the monster before him talking so casually about his friend.

“What did you do to her.” Naruto hissed back. Itachi made a minuscule gesture, like a helpless shrug almost.

“Nanami does as she pleases.” He informed the furious blonde boy.

“So you wouldn’t mind letting her go then.” Kakashi cut in with that tone Naruto recognized as the fake casual tone he used when information gathering.

Itachi just stood there, eyes blank giving nothing away. This man was the god of apathy, the perfect shinobi. 

The perfect killing machine.

“Nanami doesn’t stay because she has to. She stays because she wants to.” He informed them and for the first time there seemed to be an edge of warning in his voice. It scared Naruto; more than any killing intent he’d ever felt.

“Bullshit.” Sakura murmured at his side, and then a little louder, “Like anyone would  _ choose _ to stay with a bunch of murderers.”

“I never said I understood why.” Itachi softly said. 

“She called you her family.” Naruto called out loudly, and was rewarded when Itachi seemed to go unnaturally still. 

“What kind of sick genjutsu did you have to put that little girl under to make her think something like that.” He added scathingly.

Indignation flashed across the man’s face for a split second, but he saw it. And he knew Kakashi-sensei saw it too when he shifted slightly in front of him.

“Nanami is under no coercion to stay.” The Uchiha corrected him. Naruto could have sworn that undertone of warning from before became a little sharper, a little more pointed this time.

“Bullshit.” He repeated Sakura’s earlier choice of wording, because even though he was afraid, he wouldn’t be Konoha’s number one most unpredictable ninja if he let it get to him.

He had too much riding on this.

“Is this really what you came here to talk about Naruto-kun?” Itachi monotoned, and his voice started to sound a little… distorted? 

And Naruto discovered why when he burst into a flock of ravens that screeched angrily and took to the sky, and suddenly his comrades were no longer standing next to him but melting into the ground…

Genjutsu? But… how?

And then another thought occurred to him that was so left field and situationally inappropriate he felt his lips part and his eyes widen when it fully registered.

Itachi had a doujutsu. He had just dispersed himself into ravens.

“Raven Eyes” He murmured aloud, realizing who she’d been talking about that day.

It had been Itachi the whole time.

“Yes?” A soft voice said behind him, with only a tinge of surprise beneath the layers of apathy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not Beta-ed


	29. Undeniable Threat (Attainable Asset)

Life asked Death, “Why do people love me, but hate you?” 

Death murmured in reply, “Because you are the beautiful lie, and I am the painful truth.”

* * *

 

“It’s done.” Pein’s voice resounded, and Nanami stopped her absent wandering around the edges of the cave. She liked the way the cold stone slick with moisture felt underneath her fingers as she walked. A smooth, graceful sort of slide that made no sound.

She looked up in time to see the last flicker of Gaara’s chakra be consumed by the summoned demon, and a pupil flickered into existence within one of its eyes.

That made three pupils out of nine eyes.

The blue chakra that had held the boy aloft for three days slowly retracted and fed back into the things mouth with the last residual traces of the red chakra within it.

Gaara’s body fell, and hit the ground hard. 

He wasn’t moving, and Nanami knew he wouldn’t. 

He was dead.

No one said anything for a long moment. She sighed, her awareness of the ever approaching Leaf-nin grew crisper as they advanced. It was almost time then. She tried to brush off the sinking sensation in her chest as her eyes flickered over to Sasori’s scorpion puppet.

Nanami would do everything she could. She only hoped it would be enough. She didn’t know what else she could do.

“Guh, my shoulders are stiff.” Loud Blood complained. 

“Took long enough, un.” Deidara commiserated with him.

“It’s going to be this exhausting every time, isn’t it?” Kisame asked rhetorically.

“Good work everyone.” Pein told them, his eyes flashed down to catch hers and she paused in the slow careful steps she’d been taking towards the ichibi’s corpse.

“You too.” He told her, and he sounded… Surprised? Pleased? She wasn’t sure. His chakra was difficult to read, an unnatrual echo; like it wasn’t really here. Whether that was because of the body lantern jutsu, or the fact that the skin he wore wasn’t really his was up for conjecture. 

She smiled a little sadly up at him, glad to be of some use at least. A little sensing was the least she could do.

Speaking of…

“They’re here.” She murmured, knowing her Red Clouds would hear her.

“That sounds like our cue.” Kisame commented. There was a wet, crunching sound as the eyes of the giant wooden demon began to slide closed.

And one by one the body lantern images of her Red Clouds flickered away.

“See you soon, little bitch.” Hidan called in a distorted mess as he dissipated. Kakuzu’s acid green and red eyes turned on Burning Earth and False Pieces.

“The company was unexpected.” He said, a kind of warning buried in his tone that she only picked up on because of her familiarity with it.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be home in time for dinner, un.” Deidara bit sarcastically with a roll of a beautiful blue eye.

“Do a better job this time.” Kakuzu’s voice was irritated and scathing as he shimmered away.

“Tch.” Deidara made a sound of annoyance.

The artist duo leapt from their perches just as the massive summons dismissed itself in a cloud of white smoke. Nanami reached down to the still warm body of Gaara and pulled him into her lap.

She hadn’t known him in this life; their contact during the battle brief and not exactly a pleasant one for either of them- and yet…

“You’re a bleeding heart Nanami-chan.” Burning Earth told her a little playfully as he sat next to her.

She smiled- because it was true, and ran little hands through the boy’s soft red hair.

“What a waste.” Sasori murmured on her other side as he settled down to wait as well.

“Most of them will get caught in the trap, un.” Deidara said, “Once the cave is open we’ll see how many we have to deal with before we high tail it.”

“Four.” Nanami answered without hesitating.

She got two sharp looks for that. She shrugged.

Nanami looked down at the darkly lined eyes of the boy in her lap, and ran gentle fingers over the kanji on his forehead absently before switching back to his hair.

“He’s dead you know, un.” Burning Earth told her a little softly.

“For now.” She responded without looking up.  The Akatsuki shared an incredulous look over her head.

A resounding boom echoed around the walls, and small rocks and dust fell from the ceiling.

“One of them punched the barrier.” She informed them, feeling the chakra skitter over the surface of the rock face as the seal displaced it outwards.

Deidara laughed good naturedly. “Ha, points for trying at least.” 

“What’s the kyuubi like, Nanami.” Sasori rumbled after a few minutes of quiet, she could tell it wasn’t a casual question. 

She brushed her fingers through red hair and thought about her answer for a moment.

“He’s… loud. Brash. Obnoxious. But he has a fierce sense of loyalty.” She settled finally, enjoying the silky texture of Gaara’s hair.

“Hm.” False Pieces acknowledged.

“Sounds like a dumb kid, un.” Burning Earth commented with a brush at his bangs.

Nanami nodded. “He is, in a lot of ways.” She left a lot of other things about him unsaid, because that’s not what Sasori was really asking about anyways.

She blinked at a small disappearance of chakra. She looked over towards the boulder. 

“The summons has been dismissed.” She murmured to her Red Clouds. Burning Earth made a dismissive gesture, Sasori didn’t say anything but his eyes narrowed on the entrance.  “Ah, I think they’ll be coming in soon.” She announced, feeling signatures separate to four points around the area.

“They still have to get past the massive rock.” Deidara reminded her. 

She went back to petting Gaara, and snuck a look at Sasori. Now seemed like the last opportunity to have a word. Words were all she cou.

“If we get separated” She started hesitantly, gaining the man’s attention. “There’s a girl with the Konoha team. She has… bright pink hair. She’s dangerous. Her name is Sakura- she’s the student of the sannin Tsunade. She has the same medical knowledge and super strength.” Nanami paused her rush of words, “She’s devised an antidote to your poison.” 

It was silent for a moment as the pair considered her, and she was pleased to note that Sasori seemed to take the warning seriously.

“I don’t know if i’m ever going to get used to your knowlege thing.” Deidara murmured, and she gave him an apologetic smile.

He waved it off, dispelling the uncomfortable moment with the simple gesture.

The chakra of the barrier fizzled outwards and dissipated into nothing. “Here they come.”  And with her announcement the stone boulder exploded inwards, whipping her hair back and making her sneeze with all the dust.

The sound of it was deafening.

Nanami absently brushed dust and stone from Gaara’s features as light spilled into the cave for the first time in three days.

She blinked a few times to adjust her eyes. 

“They’re awfully noisy, un.” Deidara complained, Nanami nodded in agreement. Sasori made a disgruntled sound that she assumed meant he agreed as well.

Four figures flashed into the cave, two on each side of the entrance. Nanami smiled softly in greeting as her eyes touched on each one.

She held the majority of the attention, seeing as how she had Gaara in her lap.

“Sunshine, long time no see.” She greeted Naruto, but his eyes were glued to the red head.

“Nanami.” Burning Earth whined. “Don’t give the jinchuuriki names, un.” She tilted her head. 

“Why not?” She asked, genuinely perplexed. Deidara’s blue eye flashed in the sunlight.

“Because we have to kill them all.” He said like it was the obvious answer. She supposed it was a pretty good reason to not go around nicknaming people. She tapped a finger from her free hand on her lips in thought, the other still combing through silky hair.

“Oh,” She said. “Sunshine still has a couple of years before then.” She told him. Kakashi visible eye widened on her, startled.

“Nanami...” The boy in question breathed her name, breaking the silence the leaf-nin had been holding.

“Gaara… is Gaara…” He trailed off, and the sound of his anger, and the pain in his voice squeezed at her chest.

“Naruto,” She said softly, catching his watery blue eyes as they began to shift to a deep, angry red. The whisker marks and his face deepened, and gained a jagged quality.

“Gaara’s not doing so good right now, but don’t worry. He’ll be fine soon.” She assured with a firmness as her eyes slid to catch the old woman’s. 

Chiyo looked taken aback by her statement. Her eyes went wide, and they flickered between her, the Kazekage and Sasori’s scorpion puppet.

“Don’t lie to the poor kid, un. Dead is dead Nanami.” Deidara told her with a tone of voice she recognized as enjoyment. 

She shrugged. “Usually.” 

“Stop it.” Naruto whispered, and then louder, almost a scream “Stop it!”

She tilted her head at the boy, unsure of what he meant by his words but understanding that he was in an emotionally rough place at the moment.

The pink haired girl known as Sakura took a hesitant step forward. “Are you saying you can save him?” pastel green eyes held hers with an intensity in their depths.

“Not me.” Nanami told her simply.

Chiyo shifted uncomfortably. The silver haired jonin noticed. 

Naruto’s bangs shadowed his eyes, but she could see the way his teeth were elongating, the way he clenched them together.

The way his chakra thrashed through the air like nine, furious tails.

“Let them go.” He ground out without looking up. 

“Hou…” Sasori made a sound of interest, and Deidara turned one blue eye bright with mirth on her.

“How about it Nanami, un, ready to head off with the little leaf-nin?” Naruto’s fist clenched at his side, and she eyed him warily. His stance shifted and he sprung forward flashing crimson red eyes with a slit animal pupil. Sasori’s tail came up to hover above her head.

Kakashi stepped in his path, blocking his forward momentum. Naruto skidded to a halt behind the arm that barred his way. 

“Nanami!” And he sounded a little more than desperate, he turned begging crimson eyes on her. “C’mon, Nanami let’s go- we can take Gaara away from here, get him help-” 

“Naruto, stop.” Kakashi interrupted him with a tone of finality.

“Nanami, _ please _ .” The blonde boy outright begged her.

She smiled sadly, he didn’t understand. Maybe he never would- but that was okay. He didn’t have to, but her position here was not the first of its kind that Naruto had come across.

Perhaps he only needed to be reminded.

“Naruto,” She she said his name softly, a sad whisper of regret that she couldn’t (wouldn’t) give him what he needed. “Someone once said-” and she pause for a split second to make sure she remembered the right words.

“ _ It is only through the eyes of others that our lives have any meaning. _ ” Naruto startled, taking a step back on reflex, and Kakashi and Sakura froze, turning wide eyes on her.

Nanami parroted the distantly remembered words quietly. She always did like Haku, everything about him spoke to who she was as a person now. She thought she would have liked to have known him. They would’ve had a lot in common.

“You can’t possibly know that…” The pink haired girl whispered.

Deidara rose at her side with a chuckle. He reached into his clay pouch, and pulled out enough to create his bird with. She could hear his hand mouth chewing away at it.

“Enough with the soothsayer crap Nanami, un.” Burning Earth told her laughingly. She got the feeling her words had somehow made him feel uncomfortable. She frowned, that wasn’t her intention, but she guessed it was probably more the content of the words and less where they had come from.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Naruto whispered to her sounding lost and unsure.

Kakashi caught her attention as he reached to slowly lift his Konoha headband away from the sharingan that never sleeps.

It spun in maddening circles, and she quickly moved her eyes away when she saw his ambient chakra begin to reach towards her.

There had been something in the depths of his mismatched eyes. Something she couldn’t name. He seemed more shaken by her words than the others, and yet somehow less surprised at the same time.

Could he possibly know..?

“Sharingan no Kakashi.” Sasori’s voice interrupted her train of thought.

“At your service.” The silver haired man offered in a too-light tone of voice.

Nanami made a final brush of light fingers through Gaara’s red hair, and gently set his now cold body on the ground and rose to stand with Deidara.

It was time.

“Deidara.” Sasori grumbled. “Take Nanami and go.” 

“Aa.” His partner agreed, throwing up a little bird sculpture into the air, it exploded in a cloud of smoke, and touched down behind her, flapping its wings about agitatedly. His blue eye roved down to look at her.

“I did promise Kakuzu you’d be home in time for dinner.” He snickered at his own joke. The bird reached forward with a large beak and picked up Gaara’s stiff corpse. It tilted its head back and swallowed the boy into its clay body.

Nanami took an easy step backwards as the Konoha-nin shifted aggressively in front of her.

“You don’t have to go with them.” Kakashi called to her, but she didn’t look at him, avoiding his spinning red eye she could tell was just waiting for the moment it could grasp her mind.

Deidara laughed again at her side, apparently finding the Leaf-nin’s attempts to coerce her in going with them humorous.

It kind of was, but at the same time she had to wonder. That look she’d seen in his eyes...

“Why.” She asked quietly, and even though they didn’t say anything she knew they could hear. “Why would Konoha want me to leave so badly, when you don’t even know me.” 

Kakashi made a slight sliding of his feet that wasn’t quite a shuffle but close enough in her book. His chakra spiking in anxiety (that he didn’t show) also helped her conclusion.

He definitely knew. Which meant Konoha knew- which meant Konoha wanted her. Alive or dead had yet to be determined. 

Her eyes narrowed on the jounins feet, even as Naruto opened his mouth to say something.

“Clever.” Sasori said to her, catching on and interrupting whatever Naruto might have had to say.

Nanami leapt backwards into the air with bare feet to land lightly on the back of Deidara’s bird. She wasn’t going to stick around to find out if they were planning on forcing her away, not that they’d ever get past Sasori and Deidara.

Burning Earth joined her, standing tall at her side with a shit eating grin on his face. Naruto and Kakashi watched them with sharp eyes, just like she thought they would since they had Gaara body, and apparently an interest in her. 

Nanami swung her attention back over to Sasori, who was giving the quiet pink haired girl a considering look. Sakura noticed, sweat rolling down the side of her face under his scrutiny. He turned to look up at her, chakra flaring in irritation.

“This one is the medic you mentioned?” He asked her. Nanami nodded to him. Her gaze drifted over the the very tense Konoha shinobi standing next to the silent old woman who had eyes only for Sasori. As if she were seeing a ghost.

“Be careful, Sasori. She’s sharp.” Nanami called down on a breath. A tense, pregnant sort of silence followed her words and False Pieces nodded, warning received. 

“You can’t possibly know that!” Sakura yelled with the stomp of her foot and clenched hands, repeating her earlier words with more anger.

Deidara was laughing at her side, and he placed a light hand on top of her head to ruffle her hair. 

“Don’t give all the fun away, un.” He told her with dancing blue eyes.

The bird swooped over the Konoha-nin and through the cave opening with a heavy beat of its wings. Nanami bit her lip harshly her heart squeezing in her chest with anxiety and fear.

_ This is it. _

She threw herself to the back of the bird, startling Burning Earth and screamed back into the cave “Come home safe Sasori!”

Naruto and Kakashi darted after them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not Beta-ed


	30. Sphere

Chapter Thirty: Sphere

"Pain doesn’t listen to reason, it has its own reason, which is not reasonable." -Milan Kundera

“The priceless art of their lives, sorrow is a wing laid atop their heads. Skin deep, we carve our immeasurable sorrow in the fold of your shivering arms.” -Hedon, Dark Tranquility

* * *

They were soaring over the deep ravine that had thick ancient roots crisscrossing from one side to the next. They oozed ambient chakra in their old age, a great interconnected network that slipped from one tree to the next seamlessly. Nanami wished they had the time to stop so she could walk along them, brush against them and see what such long-lived chakra had to say.

It was these roots that Kakashi and Naruto were using to chase after them. 

“Tch.” Deidara scoffed looking down, and then over at Nanami. “If we can separate them, we might have the opportunity to capture the Kyuubi.” and Nanami couldn’t help but notice that it sounded more like a question than a statement.

She shook her head sadly. “It won’t happen this time.” Burning Earth’s chakra spiked in a show of irritation, his face morphing into a frown.

“You’re sure?” He asked, his blue eye boring into her with an intensity born from his pride warring with what she assumed was his desire to keep her out of an unnecessary battle. Deidara looked back down at the pair chasing them, specifically the silver haired jounin.

Hatake Kakashi was not someone to take lightly. 

She nodded again, but felt relieved that he was taking her word for it. The situation could go downhill very quickly if Deidara decided going after Naruto would be worth the risk. She knew with certainty that it wouldn’t go well for them, at all.

“We can’t give up the chase yet though,” She told him. “If we drop Gaara now they’ll head back towards Sasori and he already has his hands full.” 

Burning Earth gave her a startled look which she missed as she watched Naruto’s red eyes glare up at them, bouncing from one root to the next, his sensei hot on his heels.

“That pink haired brat and the old lady? Have more faith Nanami-chan Sasori no danna is better than that, un.”

Nanami was not surprised to hear the surety in his voice. For all the artist duo bickered- for all that every Akatsuki team bickered really, each of them had a sort of comradery with their partners.

But Nanami  _ knew. _

She let out a soft breath, wanting to believe in False Pieces as much as Burning Earth did, but it was difficult.

Deidara looked into his clay bag and scowled fiercely. “I’m almost out of clay, un.” He told her unhappily.

“I can help.” She offered, eyeing the heavy ambient chakra that swirled about the roots. 

Deidara gave her a searching look. “Do what you can, un. Just… try to keep out of danger this time, alright?” He said with no small amount of exasperation while reaching into his bag to pull out a handful of the explosive substance. 

She grinned at him agreeably.

Nanami tilted her head at the sound of an explosion behind them, she looked over the birds tail feathers to see a cloud of dust and debris rising into the air from the cave they left behind.

She clenched her fist against the soft clay she sat on. 

_ Please be okay... _

Nanami looked down to see Naruto and Kakashi were yelling to each other but she couldn’t hear over the wind in her ears.

“Their planning something, un.” Deidara said over her shoulder, she nodded in agreement. “Can we speed up, let’s get them as far away from Sasori as possible.”

“Un.” He agreed, and they shot forward at a renewed pace.

* * *

There was something going on with Kakashi’s chakra. It made her... uncomfortable.

“Somethings going on down there…” She murmured, and Deidara shifted at her side. Nanami turned her attention to her senses, stretching as far as she could reach.

“Sasori is out of my range now…” She realized aloud.

“Un, we’re probably far enough to drop the body.” and she nodded in agreement. No point risking whatever Kakashi was up to when they were only stalling for Sasori. Nanami could at least do that much for him.

Their bird continued straight even as the ravine made a sharp turn, and they crossed into a thick copse of trees. It was then the air began to shimmer around Deidara, full to the brim with Kakashi’s chakra. 

“What the hell!” Deidara’s startled tone made her heart beat too fast in her chest and she took only a second longer as reality around her Red Cloud began to fold in on itself. Light, air, the clay of the bird and Deidara couldn’t escape its swirl.

Nanami turned back towards the edge of the bird to see the man responsible leaping from a tree branch, staring up at the blond man with an unblinking red eye.

“Mangekyou bullshit!” She cursed at him, rising to her full (not very intimidating) height and flinging her arms out infront of her. She could sense Naruto’s blazing supernova like chakra signature circling around and attempting to come at their side, but her immediate concern was the jerk in front of her and his stupid cheating eyeball.

Chakra strings burst from her fingertips, two long whip like entities that she used to lash out at the branch Kakashi was about to land on. 

It moved out from under him just as his foot was about to touch down, and with nothing to gain purchase with the Jounin’s gaze broke away from Deidara as he stumbled and fell through the air.

Kakashi’s hands grasped another twisting root and swung himself back into the air, but it was enough. His jutsu was broken for the moment and that was all they needed.

“Drop the ichibi!” Nanami turned to Deidara who was on his knees panting with wide eyes from the near miss of being sucked into empty space.

“Un.” He nodded, and there was a cracking sound as the jaws of the clay bird snapped open, the body of the Kazekage fell from its grasp to the ground below only to have Naruto flash from his position beneath them to catch him out of the air. 

They kept their forward flight, leaving Naruto far behind in moments. Neither him or Kakashi gave chase as they crowded around Gaara unresponsive form. They should be far enough ahead in a few minutes that it wouldn’t matter even if they did.

She let out a relieved breath. Nanami didn’t think they would survive a head on fight with a mangekyou sharingan. 

Even so, she knew this wouldn’t be the last time she saw Naruto and his sensei. 

Her gaze traveled back the way they’d come, and she hoped Sasori’s fight with the medic had gone well.

Still, she couldn’t fight the sinking sensation of dread in her belly. 

Something didn’t feel right.

“We need to circle back around, we’re headed in the wrong direction, un.” Deidara told her, and she looked over at his crouched form to see the sunlight brightening his already long blond hair. Nanami nodded in agreement. 

“Can we check on Sasori?” Deidara’s blue eye flashed over to catch her brown ones, and his brow furrowed at her tone of voice. He knew her well enough to know when she was worried about something, and that certainly didn’t bode well for their puppet master.

“Un.” He agreed with a nod.

* * *

When they passed over the chakra signatures of Sakura and Chiyo heading towards Naruto and Kakashi, Nanami felt the coils of dread in her belly grow spikes.

She had never experienced a sinking sensation so through that she became keenly aware of the dilation of her pupils, the rush of blood in her ears, and an awful buzzing beneath her skin.

She thought mildly from somewhere within her own head that maybe she was having a panic attack. She tampered it down with a fierceness. Now was  _ not _ the time. 

“We just passed the medic and the old woman.” Nanami breathed to Deidara, and when he turned to her she saw the flash of panic she felt inside herself mirror in him.

His mouth turned hard in a grim line. His eyes flat.

Their bird beat its wings viciously at the sky and they catapulted through the air towards the cave.

Nanami thought that she should probably be able to feel Sasori’s signature by now.

She couldn’t.

Her breathing picked up, and her eyes strung. She reached out to pull the collar of her shirt over her nose and mouth in an attempt to keep herself from hyperventilating as a pressing sense of urgency swept through her. Demanding, the feeling was so demanding it was liked a sucker punch to the gut.

For all that Nanami  _ knew  _ she certainly wasn’t  _ prepared. _

Within another thirty minutes they were making easy descending circles over the top of the ruined cave, the roof had collapsed inwards, there were puppets everywhere, wooden bodies piled atop wooden bodies, clothed in red and white fabrics, sealing script scrawled across the floor and walls.

The place was an absolute train wreck.

Nanami leapt off the bird, impatient and not willing to wait the extra fifteen seconds for it to touch down fully. Deidara was hot on her heels, and she could feel the anger boiling in his chakra. 

Her feet touched the crumbling stone and bits of it scattered away rolling into others as her bare feet hit them.

“Sasori!” Nanami called, eyes sweeping the carnage. She knew he wasn’t here, she knew he wouldn’t respond. Her chakra sense had never lied to her before. Somehow she wished it was. She wished she was so flawed in this moment that her senses were nothing more than a lie.

She spotted his redheaded body pinned to the wall by a giant head with a wide mouth and far too many teeth. 

His chest was empty, lacking the cylinder that contained his heart; but his hand bore his Akatsuki ring. ‘Sphere’ it read. 

She knew he wouldn’t ever leave it behind. The rings were too important. She made her way around puppets and discarded weapons to reach his side. 

Nanami gently slid the ring from his finger, feeling the cold metal in her palm. 

Her heart broke.

She had no one to blame but herself in this, she knew.

She should have stayed to help. Should have gone over more details with him, she should have tried harder to sway them away from the search for the jinchuuriki (Even if that was god impossible.) She should have… should have… something.  _ Anything. _

Something wet dripped into her hand over the ring in her palm, and she realized she was crying. 

“Crap.” She sobbed quietly even as she scrubbed violently at her eyes with her dirty forearm.

“Nanami.” Deidara called her, and she turned at the sound of his flat, empty voice.

She made her way back over to him, to find him crouched over three puppets in the center of a mass of black sealing script emblazoned on the floor.

It was Sasori’s secondary body, his heart impaled on either side by two swords.

Nanami sank to the ground slowly. Her eyes held to her brother’s pierced heart as if it were the only thing that existed in the universe. His red hair lifted gently on a breeze and it swayed around his features softly.

“False Pieces.” She whispered brokenly, placing her hands on the cold stone in front of her and bowing her head. Deidara flashed her a look that she didn’t see, he would be the first and only Red Cloud to ever hear her name for Sasori.

“You knew.” He whispered accusingly.

Her eyes widened and she looked up at him, curling her little hands into fists on top on the ground and the tears began anew. Because it was true. She had known… she knew the whole time… and the accusation and fury in his voice was real enough to shred what little composure she had been maintaining.

Deidara’s blue eye burned into her, and he reached up and tore the eye enhancement from undeath his bangs, he stood in a lightning fast movement and chucked it as hard as he could across the cave, she heard it smash into a wall and many little metal pieces plink onto the floor after.

Nanami sat still on the ground, watching him with wide tearful eyes. He was breathing hard, he wouldn’t look at her.

“You. Knew.” He said again through clenched teeth. His chakra thrashed about, and she could feel his desire to lash out at her within it. Nanami said nothing, because she had no words to offer him.

If he hated her now for this failure then it was only fair. It  _ was _ her fault. 

Burning Earth was hurt, and for him that translated into anger. Nanami understood this, she knew Deidara well. And even though his words only added to her pain, she felt something akin to relief well beneath the layers distress, because if he blamed her, it might help ease his pain. If he blamed her, then he wouldn’t blame himself.

She wished she could spare him this. (She wishes she could spare herself this, but it was her burden to bear, right from the very beginning this was always to be her burden.)

Deidara turned, blond hair swaying around his profile, and stomped towards his bird, he swung himself onto it and the clay construct pushed off and soared into the air. 

Leaving her behind without another thought.

She watched him go, her heart beating too fast, the dead body of her beloved friend before her, his chakra gone, his life taken away.

And she was utterly helpless to stop it.

She was alone, and it was quiet. (The silence had returned, like an old friend ready to embrace her like it had never left at all.) The sun warmed the back of her neck, and the stone was cold beneath her crumpled legs.

Nothing mattered in this moment, except Sasori before her, and the quiet that swathed her small body in layers.

Nanami would never watch hundreds of his chakra strings dance between each other in the comfortable companionship of late afternoons again. Hear him bicker with Deidara over nothing, listen to him talk with that confident inflection that always demanded attention no matter what he said. He had always chosen his words so carefully...

He would never rest chocolate brown eyes on her again. His hand would never ruffle her hair, and he would never offer another clipped word of praise.

Because he was dead. Akasuna no Sasori no longer existed in this world, and Nanami had failed to keep him here. (Failed. She had _failed.)_

Something was growing inside her, something she had always known was there but always pushed to the very back of her mind. A gaping maw of emptiness. Here she was, the thing she feared most had come to pass, and she was not surprised. She knew.

She was going to have to watch all of them die. (She was going to watch all of them live.)

Nanami existed in this world as a witness to their lives, and despite her best efforts the thing she had always known but hoped against was confirmed.

There was nothing she could do. She couldn’t change the course of what was to be.

Oh. Oh, merciful gods, she really was going to have to watch them die.

She sobbed hard and crawled forward as the sun began to set and pushed the two puppets on either side of him away. She snarled at them through wet tears, wishing she could blame Konoha in this.

Somehow, she just couldn’t do it. “ _ Bleeding Heart”  _ Deidara’s voice resounded in her mind, only it held that tone full of blame now when she remembered the words.

Nanami gently slid the swords from his heart, and cried harder when his face didn’t contort or flinch in pain.

“Sasori.” She told his corpse. “I love you, brother.” She murmured into red hair, clutching his empty shell close. He still smelled like herbs and wood shavings. 

“Aw, that is so sweet!” A childish voice said behind her, and she stiffened ramrod straight and clutched Sasori harder, as if she could shield his much larger body with her small one from the chakra signature that had swirled to life behind her out of nowhere. “Are you Sasori-senpai’s little sister? I didn’t know Akatsuki had any little girls! Oh! Oh! Hey- we should play games together!” The voice continued in an excited rush.

“Child.”  and she turned to her other side because she recognized Zetsu’s voice at least. He was watching her with half a face full of disgust and the other half empty of all expression. “Where is Sasori’s ring.” He asked flatly.

She felt the questioned metal burn in her palm as she squeezed it tighter against Sasori’s back.

“Oh! Oh! I’ll check on this body over here!” A sing-song voice cried, and Nanami felt the curiosity burning in his chakra despite his flippant attitude.

Nanami closed her eyes, refusing to look over at the disembodied voice, she didn’t need to look to know who it was.

“I have it.” She told Zetsu quietly. He nodded in acceptance.

“You  _ do? _ ! Why didn’t you just  _ say  _ so! Let’s get out of this place it smells funny.” and the curiosity seemed to sharpen on her as he spoke.

Did he not know about her?

Oh, gods. She didn’t have the energy to deal with him right now.

Nanami gave one last look to Sasori, and gently slid her fingers over his already closed eyelids. She laid him down on the ground, wishing she could provide him a proper burial but knew that choice wasn’t up to her.

“Upsadaisy!” and there was a black gloved hand snaking around her middle, and suddenly she was choking on chakra- so much chakra it surrounded her and smothered her in its cloying thickness. It filled her nose and mouth and made her eyes water for more reasons than just the clawing despair Sasori’s death had wrought.

It swirled around her, compressing, spinning madly until she popped out of reality. She was distinctly reminded of something much too large being squeezed and forced through a much too small hole, only with a whole lot more turning and spinning involved.

It was miserable.


	31. Seething

Chapter Thirty-One: Seething

Or: In Which Everyone is Pissed Off

“Even the nicest of people have their limits.”

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.”

* * *

 

The moment more familiar chakra signatures pierced through the cloying thickness of Tobi’s chakra, and the compressing spinning sensation stopped; Nanami gasped for breath, finding herself dropped onto all fours and vomited onto the ground with everything she was worth.

“Who the fuck are you! What the fuck did you do to Nanami!” She had never been so grateful to hear Loud Blood voice as water leaked down her face and she continued to dry heave into the puddle between her hands.

She was vaguely aware that her throat was burning with bile, and that she was probably ruining what looked like a nice hardwood floor.

“Sasori-senpai is dead!” The masked man cried from somewhere behind her, like the thought of it truly distressed him. His calm, smooth chakra said that was a lie; but a few of the other signatures in the room flickered in surprise.

“And Deidara-senpai is missing! Maybe he’s dead too?” 

Nanami curled her hands atop the floor, Sasori’s ring pinching the skin of her palm, and looked up for the first time into the room she’d been transported to. 

The room had nice, dark colored hardwood flooring, with plain white walls. There was a window (a  _ real _ window) on the far wall. She could see the sky full of deep red and orange colors as the sun set outside.

The center of the room held the majority of her Red Clouds all either near or on various pieces of furniture. It looked like… a regular living room. It was so particular and out of place for her, being accustomed to the utilitarian stone room that she even managed to ignore Tobi’s annoying voice for a full five seconds.

“This is Tobi.” Zetsu stated as he melted out of the floor and rose into the room. 

Oceans and Raven Eyes’ chakra flickered in recognition at the name, and she recalled mentioning it to them once, in the dead of night in the middle of the forest of River country long ago when she had been much younger.

“I want to join the Akatsuki!” Tobi sing-songed. 

Itachi moved towards her as she sat back on her heels and he crouched before her. His dark eyes were blank, his face empty- but she knew better.

He fished his water bottle from his hip pouch and offered it to her.

“Where is Deidara?” and her eyes met acid green in a sea of red behind Itachi. Kakuzu leaned against the wall that held the window with folded arms.

He was livid. It was all over his face, in his chakra. He had that look going right before something excessively violent happened. Hidan didn’t miss this and edged a step away from his partner.

“He’s alive.” She offered softly, because she didn't actually know where he was and thus couldn't answer the question.

No one missed her not-an-answer.

“Tch, little shit.” Loud blood made his way over to her to, giving Beating Hearts a wide berth as she took a drink from the canteen.

The water was cold, and it felt nice on her sore throat. 

“Oho! That’s a relief!” Tobi’s orange swirled mask turned to face her and she couldn’t help but notice the way chakra for strange genjutsu clung to the eye hole of his mask. She supposed that’s what made it appear so dark behind it, even though she knew the red of a sharingan had a light-reflecting quality.

Like a cat’s eyes in the dark. She’d seen Itachi’s eyes flash that way many times.

Speaking of Itachi.

She handed him his canteen back, with a soft “Thank you.” He nodded, but before he could pull away she caught the sleeve of his cloak by the trailing hem.

He paused accommodatingly, and she uncurled her tight little fist and offered him Sasori’s purple ring.

He took it with a displeased twitch to his lips between his unzipped collar and made his way back over to Oceans to show his partner. Kisame sat on an end table that didn’t look happy to be holding the shark man’s weight. 

“C’mon little bitch.” Loud Blood said to her side, and she looked over into vivid purple irises as he crouched beside her too. His white hair was in disarray, as if it was wind whipped and she had a moment to wonder what the zombie combo had been up to while she’d been with Deidara and Sasori.

He grasped her upper arm roughly and pulled her to stand. (Loud Blood had no idea what gentle was- to him, this was gentle. There was no blood involved.)

She trudged after him as he pulled her through the crowd of Akatsuki. They passed Pein, and Konan who had nothing to say and simply ignored them in favor and speaking quietly to each other.

“Ah! Where are you taking that weird little girl?!” Tobi cried with wild arm gestures. Kisame looked over at the man from speaking with Itachi and flashed him a row of sharp vicious teeth. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He laughed at the masked man, who continued to flail around dramatically. Nanami could still feel the curiosity burning in his chakra, and she wondered for a moment why he didn’t know who she was.

Kakuzu turned to follow as they passed, and Hidan yanked her around the corner of a stretch of wall that a long couch leaned against.

There was a set of pretty wooden stairs that matched the flooring and Hidan pulled her up the steps after him.

If she stumbled a few times over her own feet, or the edge of a step neither of the men mentioned it.

They ascended to a hallway that held rows of doors on both sides, and Loud Blood dragged her to the last one on the left, and kicked it open like a thug before tossing her in.

“Bathrooms that door.” He said pointing to the only door other than the one they’d come through as he threw himself down on one of two beds in the room.

Behind her, Kakuzu nudged her towards it with a length of his silky black strands that were slipping from his upper arm.

She could tell it wasn’t so much that he wanted to use them as it was that his irritation was affecting his control over them.

Nanami knew now was not the time to argue- and she wouldn’t have anyways. She was filthy, and tired and she just wanted a place where she could cry quietly for a little while.

Kakuzu and Hidan’s shared bathroom was as good a place as any.

* * *

“Are we going to kill him?” Hidan asked once the shower had turned on. Kakuzu unclipped his mask from the corners of his hood as he sat down on his own bed; threads thrashing from his bare upper arms even as he attempted to gain control over his temper.

Hidan could see the face he was making without it, and his expression was not a pleasant thing. But despite this Kakuzu answered, “No.” and he sounded like it physically pained him to say it. Hidan’s first instinct was to whine about it, but he figured he’d give his partner a break- just this once.

He was pretty fucking pissed off right now too.

“What the fuck was he thinking.” He asked out loud, and Kakuzu’s brow furrowed even farther in. “Leaving little bitch out there alone, seriously.” Hidan had to stop himself before it turned into a rant. 

A muffled sob sounded from behind the bathroom door barely above the water of the shower. Hidan stood from his bed with a scowl, and his partner’s eyes watched the movement.

“Need to fucking teach her to cut that shit out.” He grumbled, uncomfortable with the sounds of her distress. 

He left the room, pushing the door shut behind him with his heel and made his way back to the lower floor.

Itachi and Kisame had moved to the low table that sat next to the kitchen door. Hidan noticed Sasori’s ring now sat on the table, the two men on either side of it as they discussed something quietly.

Leader-sama and the purpled haired bitch were gone, and the weird guy- Tobi he recalled was mopping up Nanami’s vomit with a rag. Served that asshole right.

He giggled at the sight. It was a mean sound. This guy was a pathetic piece of shit. 

He couldn’t believe Deidara had left Nanami to this fucking weirdo. He better have a good explanation- but Hidan figured it didn’t matter even if he did. He was going to kill him regardless. He stifled another giggle at the thought of the blond man’s carefully tended to golden locks dripping red blood. Deidara would look good as a severed head.

He’d certainly be a whole lot more useful.

“She’s their pet.” Zetsu seemed to be explaining to the orange masked man, who was nodding along.

“Little bitch isn’t a fucking pet you creep.” Hidan interjected, and Tobi turned to look at him. Hidan ignored the man and threw himself down on the new couch. He liked this couch way better than the last one, it was long enough to stretch out on without his legs falling off the side.

“Is she a mascot then?” Tobi asked, sounding curious. Kisame snorted.

“No.” Itachi offered simply his face blank.

“Is she a member?” Tobi continued to nag.

“No.” Zetsu answered this time in a clipped response. Tobi huffed at the lack of a definite answer. 

Hidan made a waving circular gesture in the air above his head. “Little bitch is just here.” He told the swirly faced idiot.

Tobi stood, and folded his arms together in front of him in thought, the vomit rag dripping down his sleeve.

So he was a moron and he was disgusting. Great.

“She must be a good girl, if Akatsuki keeps her alive.” He seemed to say to himself. Kisame made a disgusted noise, and Hidan sat up to look at the man at the implied undertone to his statement.

“You better not be a fucking pervert.” Hidan warned him. He didn’t even want to think about that shit- if this guy made one wrong, creepy, or sick move towards her he’d- 

Uhg. He would take so much pleasure in performing the ritual for Jashin on this moronic fuck.

Tobi gasped behind his mask in offense, “Tobi would never!” He cried loudly, “Tobi is a good boy!” 

Kisame dragged his palm over his face with a muttered, “Someone shut this guy up.”

It was then that a loud thump sounded outside the main door on the far wall, opposite Hidan’s pilfered spot on the couch. Everyone looked over as the door banged open and in marched a frazzled pissed off looking Deidara.

Hidan grinned ferally. Damn, and here he was without his scythe.

Fuck it.

He leapt at the man, pushing himself off the furniture and clear over Tobi’s head to land with deft feet and he decked the blond man straight in his jaw with a closed fist as hard as he could. 

Deidara snapped backwards and stumbled into the door he had just shut behind him.

Blood dribbled from his split lip and he looked at Hidan from under the shadow of his bangs.

He was  _ seething _ .

But so was Hidan.

Deidara snarled and moved to retaliate with a swinging kick just as Hidan dodged to the side with another rushing fist towards the man’s face.  

A hand landed on Hidan’s shoulder, and he looked up into red spinning eyes that made his muscles feel lax.

Deidara’s swinging kick smashed into the center of Samehada, who had been shoved between the two combatants.

Hidan cackled madly when his pant leg shredded on the swords sharp scales.

Deidara spat on the floor in fury and looked up at Kisame, who was much taller than all of them. Said shark man just grinned at him and shouldered his sword. 

Tobi fluttered around them, wringing his hands together nervously. “Don’t fight! We’re all friends right!” 

“Who the fuck are you, un!” Deidara snarled at the orange masked man.

“Tobi is Tobi!” He responded cheerfully.

“Not more of that third person bullshit.” Kisame muttered as he followed Itachi back to the table.

“What the fuck were you thinking leaving little bitch with this fucking sick pervert?” Hidan demanded with a nod towards the idiot. 

“Tobi is not a pervert!” His indignant cry was completely ignored.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” Deidara bit out and pushed himself past the Jashinist with a rough bump of their shoulders as he made his way to the stairs.

The steps creaked and Nanami stepped lightly into view before the blond man on the landing just as he approached it.

She looked up at him; eyes wide and fearful, her hair still dripping from the shower, her skin a mottled mass of bruises that were more apparent now that she was clean of the blood and grime.

“Move.” Deidara hissed at her, blood still dribbling down his chin.

She did, pushing herself into the railing as he shoved past her and out of sight.

“What crawled up his ass and died.” Hidan muttered, making his way back to the couch to sit. Nanami tentatively took the last step down after one last mournful look up towards Deidara, and made her way over to Hidan to sit next to him. 

He shifted to accommodate space for her, and he was rewarded with a comfortred sigh when her smaller body heat leaned subtly into his.

He ruffled her wet hair grinning down at her, and her doe brown eyes blinked wetly at him.

“You cry to much.” He admonished. She just smiled without words.

Suddenly Tobi was there, leaning over into Nanami’s space, his mask turned so the one eye hole could peer directly at her.

She leaned farther into Hidan in an attempt to put distance between them.

“You don’t seem like much.” The mask man murmured, and Hidan brought a leg up to swiftly kick the man in the chest and send him sprawling backwards.

“You’re a sick fucking creep, she’s just a kid. Fucking disgusting ass heathen, seriously.” 

Tobi leapt back to his feet and pointed an accusing finger at the Jashinist. “Tobi is  _ not a pervert!” _ He screeched, incensed. 

“I think he doth protest too much.” Kisame laughed from the table. Itachi quietly sighed in exasperation.

“Tobi.” Zetsu deadpanned from where he leaned against the wall that held the sole window.

“But Tobi just wants to know!” He whined at the plant man. Nanami cleared her throat lightly.

“Know what?” Tobi whirled back around to face her and Hidan felt frazzled by this stranger's attentions over her. What the fuck was with this guy? This better not be some sick fixation.

“Who are you? Why are you here? Where did you come from?” He said to the little girl in a rapid fire sentence.

“Who are you?” She returned. “Why are you here?”

Hidan considered her for a moment, his purple gaze roving over to where Itachi sat casually at the table in the next moment. She was spending too much time with the Uchiha, her tone of voice was just like his when he was annoyed.

Flat and empty.

It wasn’t like her at all.

Besides, Hidan figured she probably already knew the answers to her returned questions. Nanami knew a lot of strange things.

“Tobi is here to replace Sasori-senpai!” He clapped his hands then as if realizing something important even as Nanami went unnaturally still. 

Uh oh. Hidan knew that look in her eyes.

“You must be really strong to have outlasted Sasori-senpai!” Tobi continued, completely missing the way Nanami’s doe brown eyes darkened, and her features went slack.

Hidan cackled with glee. Oh, Yes. She was so  _ pissed. _

“Tobi will do much better than that weird puppet guy! Tobi is a good bo- Urk!”

Nanami leapt off the couch with a snarl in a familiar imitation of what Hidan had done when Deidara had come in.

She went for his throat, Hidan knew her movements better than anyone.

His laughter got louder.

It was going to be a bloodbath. He couldn’t fucking wait to watch her rip this idiot to shreds.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two: Reflection (Changes)

"I will never disappear, for forever, I'll be here." 

"I'm laying down, I'm eating snow; my fur is hot and my tongue is cold. One a bed of spider web I think of how to change myself." -Fever Ray

* * *

 

Nanami knew he was saying these things on purpose. She knew he was testing his limits, testing hers.

The manipulative fuck.

Still, the rage boiled under her skin, she felt flushed with it, she found it was hard to breath and all she wanted to do was _rend Obito asunder._

Nanami looked down at her hands clenched lightly in her lap and uncurled them absently before curling them back again- tighter this time. Her nails bit crescents into her palms.

“You must be really strong to have outlasted Sasori-senpai!”

And that was the crux of the thing- wasn’t it.

She would be here, long after all the chakra signatures around her were gone. And this, more than anything he could have said made her so _furious_.

She completely missed anything else he was saying as a seething hated fell heavy across her mind.

How dare he. How dare this man walk into her life and rub her face in her worst fears, in her burdens like it meant nothing more to him than to test her patience.

He had no right- _She wanted to kill him-_

Nanami griped the floor with chakra laden toes and snarled like a cornered beast as she threw herself at the man.

She wanted to sink her teeth into his jugular- she wanted to feel his blood run rivers down her face as he bled to death, she wanted him to feel pain. She wanted Obito to feel pain like she was feeling pain, the deep, bottomless maw agony of her _failure_ because Sasori was- Sasori was-

She didn’t finish the thought.

“Oh-to-to!” The mask man cried, his body swinging to the side in a ‘dodge’ but Nanami knew better as she phased through his side.

His hand shot out to grasp one of her arms that trailed behind her even as the occupants in the room came to stand. Dimly she was aware that Hidan was cackling in enjoyment.

His gloved hand brushed along her arm- solid, there, tangible.

_Now!_

She whirled around in a display of speed he wasn’t expecting and slid her body to the ground in four points of contact and flung her leg out to sweep his out from under him. Chakra strings lashed out from her body to grasp at his ambient chakra in a punished grip. They fizzled on contact, two separate sentient chakras fighting for control.

“ _You will not!_ ” Nanami howled out loud and in her mind and through her chakra as she _commanded_ his to stay put in this dimension. She would rip it apart if she had too.

Alarm and surprise flashed through him when her sweeping kick made contact and he hit the floor hard. Surprise was her only upper hand in this fight, he apparently hadn’t expected much out of her.

His mistake.

She was on him in a millisecond, nails scoring deep gouges into the orange ceramic of his mask as her other hand pushed down on his shoulder, forcing him into the floor with enough force to pop it out of place.

The wet crunching sound it made satisfied something that welled from deep within her, it demanded blood. It demanded Obito’s blood.

He snarled back at her, a red spinning made itself known in his eye as the shadow genjutsu over his mask shuttered and failed.

Nanami’s hand lashed out and snatched at the chakra that rose above his eye like steam.

“Sharingan is cheating-” She hissed at him nonsensically as she squeezed the chakra from his eye with enough of her own that it visibly smoked from her fist.

His chakra struggled in hers as he instinctively fought against the force that bound his in place.

His one good arm came up to grip her throat in a jerky uncontrolled movement and he squeezed his fingers around her neck hard enough to make her choke.

“Girl.” His tone was completely different now. All childish pretense lost.

“ _Fuck you.”_ and she tugged hard enough on the chakra of his sharingan to make him hiss in pain.

Blood began to weep from the side of his mask as it leaked out of his eye to pool around the side of his head.

She loved the sight of it, red, such deep red like the color of Sasori’s… Sasori’s... hair...

_Oh gods what the fuck was she doing._

Nanami’s thoughts came to a sudden halt, harshly enough for her to gasp a sob out around the grip that squeezed her throat.

There was a pause for a moment as both of their violent intentions towards the other shuttered in a stalemate.

He had made the mistake of letting her touch his chakra, and she had made the mistake of attacking an opponent out of her league.

The occupants in the room shifted, chakra seeping into her awareness and she realized there was a lot of worry going around.

She didn’t want to worry anyone.

She wasn’t… she wasn't even angry with Obito really.

She was just… angry with herself. Angry Sasori was dead, that a rift had formed between her and Deidara. That everything just keep moving forward and the world hadn’t stopped suddenly in it’s tracks like it should have because someone precious to her _was dead._

Maybe it wasn’t even anger, maybe she was just terribly sad. (Nanami felt so broken. So lost. What now? Would they all just move on like Sasori’s life hadn’t meant something to her? Like he hadn’t been an important part of her family? She ached at the thought, oh, gods how she ached.)

Her emotions fizzled out like a bucket of ice water on a camp fire, leaving her feeling like a million little pieces that she didn’t know how to fit back together again.

Sasori was dead. She remembered. How could she possibly have forgotten.

Anger was a heady thing.

Something clear pliped onto Tobi’s mask and ran down the crevice between swirls to slide away and join the pool of blood that still oozed from his eye.

She let go of his chakra immediately and sat back on the man’s chest. He let her, his gloved grip on her throat sliding away as he felt her release his chakra.

She scrubbed at the tears that wouldn’t stop with her forearm.

“Nanami is sorry, Tobi.” She deflated, reverting back to her improper speech in her distress; and surprise flickered across his chakra.

“I’m not… angry with you, really.” She admitted.

Someone gripped the back of her shirt and lifted her up and off of the man who was bleeding out on the floor. Obito’s wide red eye stared up at her from behind his mask, the sclera crimson with blood.

She looked up from the grip that held her aloft and her eyes met the ripples of the rinnegan.

“Do not kill the new recruits.” He told her blandly, and she could feel the way his attention was sharpened on her with the knowledge that she possibly _could._

Nanami said nothing, the shame of her actions only adding to the heavy emotions that clung to her heart.

If Tobi was to be a Red Cloud, then she needed to accept him like she had all the others. All his faults, with all of the good traits… which somehow didn’t want to come as easily as it had when she was a smaller child.

Something had changed now, but she was firm in her resolve. Red Clouds were Red Clouds.

She needed them.

Tobi rose to sit beside where she dangled in Pein’s grip and used his good arm to pop the dislocated one back in place. He rolled the shoulder in a casual gesture.

“Damn, bitch. You can’t even kill without crying on them, seriously.” Loud Blood complained suddenly at her side, pulling her from Pein’s clutches.

Pein let Hidan take her, and Nanami found herself being shuffled backwards through several bodies and directed up the stairs. Kakuzu was waiting at the bottom landing with crossed arms and an unreadable expression.

“Good show.” Kisame laughed viciously with that lopsided smirk.

“Fucking seconded.” Hidan cackled.

Itachi met her eyes with a look that said there would be questions later. She sighed in acceptance.

* * *

Deidara pushed off the wall he was leaning against at the top of the stairs as he listened to the commotion going on below.

“Nanami is sorry, Tobi.” He heard her, and something in him went slack at her defeated tone. “I’m not… angry with you, really.”

He strained to hear the last of her softly spoken words that dripped with a kind of self-loathing that made something in his chest tighten. He sighed.

Ah, Damn.

He envied her ability to look within herself and know how she felt.

Deidara wasn’t like Nanami, no one here was quite like her really. She had this ability to sort through her emotions like a level headed human being and move on with her day in a way he knew he lacked.

And wasn’t that saying something, for a little girl they’d plucked from the forest all on her own dressed in rags and sleeping in piles of deer. Weren’t they supposed to be the civilized ones? Well, no one had said you had to be emotionally stable to be civilized he supposed.

Deidara wasn’t good at acknowledging stressors and dealing with them. He just… got angry instead. It was easier to deal with. Everything was easier to deal with when there was something tangible to blame.

It was Iwa’s fault for making him a missing-nin, it was Itachi’s fault he was forced into Akatsuki, and his demolished pride.

It was Nanami’s fault his long time partner was dead.

See, wasn’t that easier..?

It felt more like a question that a statement somehow.

The thought rang harshly through him. It stung and burned like a lie and knowing he was wrong to put that on her just made him even more angry.

He had gone back to look for her. Guilt heavy on his mind, and when he’d arrived at the decimated cave to find nothing Deidara had worried.

(He always made things worse.)

When the foul-mouthed Hidan had sucker punched him instead of demanding to know where Nanami was he felt a small amount of relief, because that meant she had to be here.

(She had to be. If he lost Nanami too… well, he hadn’t. Maybe it was better not to think about these things.)

But it had also only fueled the fire of his anger, because here was another man willing to react with violence in the face of emotions none of them knew how to deal with, that none of them had ever had to deal with before Nanami.

A door opened on his left and out strolled Leader casual as you please. He didn’t even spare Deidara a glance as he descended the stairs.

This irritated him too.

Another door opened, and Kakuzu followed in the wake of the man before him.

He paused at the first step, giving Deidara a disturbing look.

“You are still young.” Kakuzu’s voice rumbled.

Deidara scoffed, the fuck was this guy on about? “I’m nineteen, un.” He told the taller man with narrowed eyes. An adult on all accounts, he’d been killing people since he was six years old.

Iwa would never have let a valuable kekkei genkai like his go to waste.

Kakuzu gave him a flat look that said, ‘yes, that’s my point.’ and Deidara supposed that compared to the Taki-nin he was quite young; Kakuzu had to be over a hundred years old by now.

Kakuzu turned away, and took a few steps down before he paused again.

“Either deal with your issues, or they will be dealt with.” and a ripple of movement went through the stitches along the man’s arms with his words, as if eager for Deidara to test him.

Deidara narrowed his eyes, his pride sparking his anger once again at the challenge.

He was too tired to deal with this shit.

“Tch.” He turned away from Kakuzu, who had already resumed his purposeful steps down the stairs, and made his way to the second door on the right.

His and Sasori’s room.

Damn, he really did need to straighten himself out.

Not because Kakuzu had said so though- fuck that guy.

* * *

Nanami stretched with a jaw popping yawn, and watched with bleary eyes as Ocean’s massive form joined her on his bed.

His large hand reached out to tilt her chin up so he could get a better look at the hand-shaped deep purple bruising around her neck.

“Aren’t you just a little punching bag.” He said laughingly, and she reached up to place little palms on his large wrist and move his hand away from her face. She grinned back at him, tired but feeling a little better after her tussle with Tobi.

She had some things she needed to work through, and it wasn’t fair to go shoving her problems off on other people. (The irony here was completely lost on Nanami.)

“Don’t get comfortable now.” He told her after she yawned again, “Go get in the Uchiha’s bed, he has more room.” and with that he pushed her off the side of his mattress.

Nanami blinked blearily, landing lightly on her feet and made her way to Itachi, who was already moving the covers for her without looking up from his book.

She crawled in, and looked over his arm that held up his reading material to see what it was about.

“ _There are four hundred and thirty two chakra pathways that lead to each eye of the human body, although this is subject to change for cases such as doujutsu users who tend to have more. For example Konohagakure No Sato’s Byakugan eye has been confirmed to have more than nine hundred leading to each eye, although the exact amount is not known…”_

Nanami scrunched her nose.

Boring.

His dark eyes slid to catch hers as if he’d heard her thoughts. His brow rose.

“I’m going to figure out how you do that someday.” She murmured to him as she turned her face into the mattress at his side. She inhaled his comforting and familiar scent of weapon oils and tea leaves.

A page turned. “Do what.” He smoothly replied.

Nanami giggled, “Read people’s minds.” His chakra spiked in curiosity, and she felt him shift, but without looking she wasn’t sure what he was doing.

“I can’t read minds.” He said gently, as if trying to reassure her. From across the room Kisame snorted doubtfully.

Nanami sat up, distracted for a moment, and her eyes tracked something only she could see beyond the far wall.

“Leader-sama is coming.” and a sharp knock rapped at the door before it was pushed open without even a by your leave.

Pein entered, looking as blank as he always did and following behind him was Tobi. They shut the door behind them, and Itachi closed his book with a snap and sat up.

Kisame did the same, folding his legs in front of him like it was going to be a nice chat all around.

Nanami doubted that.

Pein pulled a chair away from the wall next to where Samehada leaned and sat himself down in it like the graceful killer he was.

Tobi just stood there, quiet. Unnerving.

“I believe you have both met Madara-sama.” He began, and to their credit neither Itachi nor Kisame made any indication that his words meant anything to them. “He will be taking Sasori’s place under the guise of Tobi, as we can not move forward with only eight members.”

His ripple patterned eyes rested on her briefly, and she folded her legs like Kisame had as a way to distract herself from his attention.

“Would anyone care to explain.” Pein remarked as if he was asking for notes on a pastry recipe. Itachi’s chakra flickered in resignation, and Kisame’s in irritation.

“Nanami has a kekkei genkai that allows her to interact with nature chakra.” Itachi monotoned back as if they were discussing the weather.

Tobi stepped forward, uncrossing his arms. “You knew I had the sharingan.” He said to her, and she nodded, because she had.

“It feels the same.” She gestured to Itachi at her side. Definitely not a lie, but not exactly the truth either.

“I see.” He murmured, orange mask turning to the wall.

“What is the extent of this ability.” Pein interjected.

“We don’t know.” Kisame told him, his silver eyes turning on her. So she picked up the explanation with what she did know.

“I can make suggestions to lesser chakra signatures, such as basic elements or animals. They tend to agree with what I ask so it doesn’t take much.” She ticked off her fingers as she thought back on things she had successfully attempted or failed at.

“Summons that aren’t mine tend to resist. Human’s are much more difficult because the chakra is sentient, but I can… force the issue. If I want it enough.” She paused, considering.

“I was able to sever the ichibi’s connection to his sand, when he was attempting to crush Deidara’s arm. So I suppose I can... sort of damage a person’s ambient chakra?” The last part came out like a question because she wasn’t really sure what that had been about.

And as this was news to everyone in the room, their attention sharpened on her.

“Interesting.” Pein said, as he continued to pick her apart with his eyes, he crossed one leg over the other and sat back into the chair.

“That’s how you kept me from phasing.” Tobi spoke up again, and it was strange hearing his voice so level and calm.

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Irritating.” He replied folding his arms back in front of his chest.

Pein turned his rinnegan on Itachi. “Can this be used?” He asked the man as if she wasn’t sitting right next to him.

Itachi nodded, slowly, carefully. “Probably, with more training.”

Pein stood from his chair. “Do it.” and he turned to her again.

“You will never be Akatsuki.” He said sternly, and she nodded because she already knew that. “But if you are useful you are welcome to stay. You’ve been around long enough already.”

With that he opened the door and walked out, Tobi turned to her then, too. “Bye bye Nanami-chan! See you in the morning!” He sing-songed and snapped the door closed behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AN has been cross-posted form FF.net I didn't think considering that it would be too horribly out of place since the contents are general. All usernames are FF people.  
> A Long AN:  
> I had a reviewer ask me what fic inspired me to write this one, (Dahliareads) and I figured i’d share here because they are both excellent fics. The first would be “Dragonfly” by Kettobase, it’s one of those ones that drags out your hope till the very ends and well, just read it.  
> The other would be a one shot fic, “All Roads Lead Home” by Insomniac Owl. It is so good, man it will tear you up inside. After reading this one shot I had to write something, like powered by some invisible force to fix the emotional damage this one shot wrought on my soul. Because damn. I couldn’t just let it end like that. Totally worth your time guys, seriously check these two out.  
> Thanks for reading and taking the time to review y’all!


	33. Unconditional

Chapter Thirty-Three: Unconditional

“We fold, and we had made a wish.  _ That we would be missed.  _ If one another just did not exist.” -Little Motel, Modest Mouse

“A child of dust, to mother now return; for every seed must die before it grows. And though above, the world my toil and turn; no crying spade will find you here below. Now safe beneath their wisdom and their feet, here I will teach you truly how to sleep.” -Child of Dust, Thrice

* * *

 

Nanami woke to the sound of Itachi’s wet, ragged breathing. It was still dark, her internal clock told her it was nowhere near time to wake up yet.

But Itachi’s chakra flickered in distress and pain, and it called out to her and yanked her from sleep like an explosion had gone off. She sat up, bed sheets sliding off her little shoulders. Raven Eyes was already sitting, and her dark-adjusted eyes could see the way he held one hand flat on his chest and another curled into a fist in front of his mouth.

She could tell he was putting all his concentration and control into not coughing like his body demanded he do. His shoulders heaved a few times with silent effort.

Oceans chakra was flickering from the other side of the room, awake but quiet. Nanami resisted the urge to flutter around Raven Eyes uselessly. She didn’t want to crowd him. She brought chakra to her hand instead, and the appendage lit up with a dim glowing blue light as she curled it through his ambient chakra before finally stroking it down the length of his loose hair and gently across his back.

_ Calm _ she told him.  _ Comfort. _ She said.

His shoulders eased, and he dropped the hand from his mouth, but kept the other firmly pressed to his chest.

He made measured, controlled breaths with eyes closed.

Itachi said nothing for a long time, and Nanami just continued to comb chakra laden fingers through his hair and though his senses.

It seemed to help a little.

“ _ Ask not the sun why she sets, why she shrouds her light away,” _ Nanami sang the words quietly, and they came to her like she had always known them, even though she didn’t really remember where from.

Another time, a different life.

“ _ or why she hides her glowing gaze. When night turns crimson gold to grey.” _

Itachi’s head tilted slightly towards her, and his breathing seemed to match the flow of her lullaby after a moment, giving something to help his breathing rhythm that wasn’t just his own mind and the silence of the room. 

“ _ For silent falls the guilty sun, as day to dark does turn.” _

It was a soft, easy cadence, even if he couldn’t understand the words. Some of them even she had forgotten the meaning to, but Nanami remembered the way they felt on her tongue, the sound they made when they escaped her lips.

It was almost like she’d sung this song a million times.

“ _ One simple truth she dare not speak; her light can only blind and burn.” _

Itachi’s hand came away from his chest, and Nanami relaxed as he gently plucked her wrist away from the soft petting of his hair.

“Better?” She asked softly, very softly into the dark.

She saw him nod, and then “What language is that Nanami?” His voice sounded raw, and it lacked the liquid smooth quality it normally had. He sounded like he’d screamed himself hoarse for hours.

“English.” She told him the truth. She would always tell Raven Eyes the truth. Kisame rolled to face them on his bed, giving up all pretense of sleeping. Itachi had probably known he was up anyways, but Nanami figured Oceans was trying to offer some modicum of privacy in the small confines of their room.

Red Clouds never pried.

Well, unless it came to her. They needled her all the time. Maybe it was because they knew she wouldn’t kill them for it?

Maybe it was because she didn’t hold the dark kind of secrets they did. (As far as they were aware.)

“I… see.” He said, taking a ragged halting breath between words. Nanami slid sideways off the mattress, touching her bare feet to the wood paneled floor. 

“I’ll make tea.” She said quietly, because she really felt like he needed some right now. She hoped it would help him get some rest, Raven Eyes always looked so exhausted. She pulled the pillow up to lean against the wall, so he could lay in a somewhat upright position. She figured it would help with all the fluid in his lungs.

He watched her movements with an amused sort of glint to his dark eyes.

“I’ll be back,” She whispered, and he nodded leaning into the pillow she’d fixed for him. Nanami crept out the door, only opening it enough to squeeze between the frame incase the hinges were squeaky. Soft silent feet made sure steps down the hall and she noticed there was a light still on down stairs. She skipped the second to last step having noted it made a groaning noise when she’d come up earlier.

Pein and Konan were in the living room, with the lights on looking for all the world like it was the middle of the day and not the middle of the night. Maybe this was the only time they got any privacy? 

That thought made her feel guilty for intruding. She chewed her bottom lip, and then let it go a second later when Loud Blood’s voice berated her for it in her head.

Konan looked up from painting her nails at the table, and Pein put his book down across from her. Nanami noticed Konan wasn’t wearing her makeup, and it made her half-lidded orange eyes seem more tired and less piecing somehow.

Maybe that’s why she wore it, the makeup did seem to add an intimidation factor to her eyes they didn’t have naturally.

She was very pretty either way though, Nanami liked the stud below her lower lip, and it drew her eyes over to Pein’s excessive amount of piercings on reflex. She kind of liked his too.

“Hummingbird.” She greeted the purple haired woman quietly with a nod, which was returned politely before the older woman turned back to her nails.

“Echo-sama.” She murmured on her way past with a slight bend at the waist. He rose an eyebrow at her.

She felt her cheeks turn pink. Names were sort of a compulsive thing for her at this point.

“Everyone gets a name.” Surprisingly it was Konan who spoke. There was a lot of humor in the sentence. Pein’s rippled gaze turned to his long time friend, and then back to her.

“Why Echo?” and he sounded genuinely curious. Nanami moved towards the kitchen door, which was adjacent to the table and behind where she had first arrived in the room. She still needed to make tea for Raven Eyes after all.

“Your chakra feels like many shadows, like an echo of itself.” Nanami supplied, and that made his left brow rise to join right. He still managed to make it look like a regal gesture.

“Hm.” He made a small sound of understanding, neither agreeing nor disagreeing and looked back down to his book to turn a page.

“I’m making some tea, if either of you would like some.” Nanami offered to be polite as she pulled the door open to reveal a small kitchen with very little counter space. She winced when the hinges squeaked loudly and her gaze travel upstairs to check for flickering chakra.

All of them did. Her Red Clouds didn’t earn their S-class titles at a party afterall. (Well, it was probably a party if you asked Hidan.)

Then again, they had probably known she was up from the moment her feet had touched the floor.

The somber duo at the table looked back up for a moment. Hummingbird’s lips twitched in what she thought might have been a suppressed smile.

“Sure.” Her voice was very flat though. Echo turned another page without looking up. “I would not object.” He monotoned.

Nanami felt a flutter in her chest at their acceptance, and she had no qualms about smiling brightly as she searched through cupboards to look for tea leaves. She found them on the topmost shelf above the sink and she was forced to climb the counter to reach it. 

Or, try to anyways.

Her smile turned a little sad as she uncoiled a chakra string to reach the remaining distance and pull the desired box down. 

She had watched Sasori do this exact thing more than once.

Nanami flicked the stove on after filling the pot that lived atop it with water. The tea pot was never put away; it saw too much use.

She turned her mind away from thoughts of her lost Suna-nin after allowing herself another silent moment to mourn. She knew she’d probably have to do that a lot for a while. At least until time dulled the pain, but that felt like a long ways away. Nanami would just have to cope though, breaking wasn’t an option right now. 

(She would do that later, when everything was said and done.)

She worried for Itachi then, and wondered if on her next time out if she might be able to find some medicine that could ease his breathing and help him sleep. 

She promised herself she’d look into it as she flicked the stove off before the pot could shrill it’s ready cry, and poured the boiling water into three separate cups.

She gave two to the pair at the table and received a feminine “Thank you.” and a slight tilt of the head in acknowledgement from Echo-sama.

Chakra signatures flickered again as she passed doors upstairs before squeezing back through the opening she’d left to Itachi and Kisame’s room.

Itachi cracked an eye open tiredly, and took her offered cup with a grateful smile. Raven Eyes could be a warm person when he wanted, when they were alone and away from prying eyes.

Each of her Red Clouds could in their own ways; they were only human after all, and it’s hard not to love someone in return when they love you so unconditionally.

* * *

Nanami lay draped over the armrest of the couch, thoroughly enjoying the late afternoon sunlight that filtered through the window to warm her skin and make her brown hair glow red.

She counted the dust motes that slid serenely between the shadows and the rays of light. She sighed contentedly as Raven Eyes walked by towards the kitchen. He gave her a passing glance with a slight quirk to the corner of his lips.

“Are you a cat or a human?” Kisame asked her from a squishy armchair tucked into the side of the end table that had protested his weight a few days ago when she had arrived.

Nanami turned her head to grin at him, a slow lazy thing and he barked a laugh at the look on her face.

“It’s up for interpretation.” Itachi remarked with his dry sense of humor as he sat himself down at the low table across from Hummingbird who was folding paper in complex origami patterns. 

Nanami was beginning to wonder if she or Echo-sama even slept at all, they were always around somewhere, doing one thing or another be it day or night. Nanami saw them often enough during her own sleepless nights.

“Hm.” Nanami hummed absently, feeling a little lethargic in her ray of sunlight.

Kisame snorted and turned back to his cup of tea he had been idly sloshing around the rim. Nanami watched him for a minute, tracing his familiar shape as he hunched forward to rest his forearms on his thighs.

“Oceans?” He looked back up at her with the flashes of silver eyes. 

“What is it?” and even though he sounded exasperated, Nanami knew he wasn’t really.

“How come your forehead protector comes down like-” She made a gesture over her own ears, tracing the lines that curved down over his with her eyes.

His head tilted. “Keeps the water out.” He said with a grin.

“Can you breath underwater?” and she blushed after the words came out, because she hadn’t actually meant to ask that. He sat back in his armchair, his grin getting wider, showing off all those teeth she liked to see.

“Not normally, I can with Samehada.” He said, and she was surprised he answered, it was a very un-shinobi like thing to do to answer questions about one’s abilities and techniques.

She supposed it spoke to his trust in her that he did.

“Oh, when you fuse?” She murmured aloud, remembering distant images of his form changing shape, taking on a more animalistic quality.

His grin turned feral. “Pretty bad ass, isn’t it?” She flashed him her own set of sharp little teeth.

“Of course,” Because Oceans  _ was _ bad ass. “I’d like to see it in real life some time.” and he took her strange words in stride because she was Nanami, and she knew all sorts of shit she wasn’t supposed to.

“I could arrange that.” He laughed, it had a blood-lusty tinge to it. Nanami loved it. She loved everything about Oceans. “You can come along with me and Itachi next, we’re making a trip to Oto soon.

Nanani shuddered at the thought of going to Sound, but her desire to tag along with the powerhouse duo overruled her fear of coming across a Sannin, which was a pretty unlikely thing to happen anyways. It’s not like the guy made a habit of wandering around where people could see him.

“I believe Hidan had dibs.” Itachi chimed into the conversation from the table and Nanami looked over at him to see Konan was staring right at her with a very strange look in her eyes.

Oh, oops. Nanami had forgotten she was sitting there; her chakra was so quiet, just like the rest of her.

“Tch, that guy.” Kisame grumbled, and that seemed like all the had to say on the subject.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part of the song Nanami sings is called ‘Daylight’s End’ from the video game League of Legends. I don’t own.


	34. The Human Condition

Chapter Thirty-Four: The Human Condition

“Was there a time we weren’t at war? When we knew what our hearts and hands were for? I don’t believe there ever was. It’s always been a lie. A soothing lullaby. We’ll soon be swallowed by the sea.” -Lost Continent, Thrice

* * *

 

“Nanami-chan!” Tobi whined for her attention, and she rolled over on Kakuzu’s bed to see him standing in the doorway. 

Kakuzu turned from the papers he’d been shuffling through on his writing desk to look at the masked man, and then over at her before turning back to his work dismissively. Inside the bathroom she heard Hidan turn the water for the shower off.

“Swirly Face?” She questioned, and she got the distinct feeling he was pouting. He trotted into the room and scooped her up off the bed so quickly she didn’t have time to react.

She blinked at Kakuzu from her position thrown over the mans shoulder.

“Eh?” She managed as he swept her out of the room and flew down the stairs fast enough to feel like they had teleported.

She knew he did this stuff on purpose to mess with her, she thought maybe he got some kind of enjoyment out of startling her and putting her off kilter. Or anyone really. Tobi practically lived to disturb, bother and throw people off balance for fun.

He tossed her down onto the couch, and consequently into another person. Another person who protested loudly.

“What the fuck! Un!” Nanami scrambled off Deidara’s lap, anxiety blooming in her chest. 

Tobi was such a jerk.

“Fix him Nanami-chan!” Tobi continued to whine with a pointed finger at the blond man who looked just as startled and unsure as she felt. “He’s so mopey!” and with that, he sat himself heavily into the armchair across from them and threaded his fingers together like he was their psychiatrist or something.

What a nut cake.

Deidara had very obviously been avoiding her for the last week, she knew he wasn’t angry anymore, but she figured his pride kept him from approaching. Any time she had tried he’d given her a half-hearted glare and wandered off without a word.

For Tobi, this was the perfect opportunity to make more than one person uncomfortable- but then again, if this managed to get Burning Earth to talk to her she’d be grateful to him. Even if he was just fucking around.

Deidara went to stand and he stomped off towards the stairs. Her heart sunk low.

He paused at the landing, flashing her bright blue eyes and a menacing scowl.

“Are you coming or not, un.” He grouched, and Nanami was up and following after him so fast Tobi didn’t even have the opportunity to protest.

This was not going to be a spectator sport, she knew Deidara would never talk to her with an audience, and she wholeheartedly agreed that it would be awkward.

Burning Earth pushed her into his room, the second door on the right at the top of the stairs. Nanami couldn’t help but feel like it was too empty. Too clean, even with Deidara’s mess scattered around. Two beds looked weird, and Tobi’s side was as immaculate as Itachi and Kakuzu kept theirs.

Which was also weird.

The door clicked behind them just as she felt Tobi’s chakra flickering after them. He slammed into the door the second it latched like an idiot.

Deidara scowled harder.

“Look.” He said rounding on her, and she unconsciously spread her feet farther apart in preparation for her animal stance. She tried to relax as soon as she realized what she was doing, but Deidara didn’t miss it, and his next words were a little less aggressive.

He tightened his high ponytail in a fidgety gesture. “Look, I’m not… mad okay, that stuff I said-”

“It’s okay.” She interrupted, trying to save him the distress of apologizing when it was clearly difficult. He didn’t need to, she had already forgiven him, as far as she was concerned that wasn’t even anything to forgive. 

She just wanted to be friends again. She wanted her brother back for as long as she could keep him.

“No, un.” He glared at the floor. “Just let me finish.” and he sounded so frustrated that she snapped her jaw shut with a clack.

“I didn’t mean what I said before, I was angry and upset and it was wrong of me to put that on you- so.”  _ I’m sorry.  _ She heard beneath every word. 

He grit his teeth together, eyes narrowing on that same spot on the floor like he loathed the wood it was made of.

“So, look, I’m just sorry okay! Un!” He didn’t look up from the floor, and she could tell he was having a difficult time of this. So she took slow steps towards him, and when she was an arms length away his blue eyes flashed to meet hers. He looked unsure.

She reached out slowly, so he could see, and grasped one of his hands that he held balled up at his side. His skin was warm, and smooth.

She brushed a little thumb over the back of his hand, and a small amount of the tension in his muscles eased.

“I’m not mad.” She said.  _ All is forgiven,  _ was said underneath that.

He let out a breath, and stilled for a second as if debating something. His eyes narrowed, gaining a determined look and he twisted his hand out from hers and grasped her little wrist to yank her forward faster than she could respond too.

It was Deidara, and she trusted him. She would always trust him.

His arms came around her, and he hunched forward slightly in a protective gesture to lay his chin on top of her head.

He let out another, more relieved breath.

“Un.” He made that small noise he always did.  _ That’s good. _ She heard.

And then Tobi burst through the door, breaking their nice moment like the jerk he was.

“Aww so sweet! I’m so glad you two made-” He cooed clasping his hands over his heart with a dramatic sigh, only to be interrupted when Nanami and Deidara lunged at him.

* * *

“Hello...?” She called into the dark. How had she gotten here? Where was this place?

“Hello?” She called a little more desperately. All around her the dark pressed in, taking bit and pieces away from her in wisps. She moved an arm she couldn’t see to swipe at the tendrils of void. Her body moved through it, every inch of her bared skin in contact with this empty beast that burned with hunger in the form of endless nothing.

“Who are you?” Voices called all around.

A sick conglomeration of all her brothers voices. Angry, on top of sad, on top of pleading voices all calling out to her with the same words at the same time and all of them somehow asking a different thing through the same question.

Nanami turned, eyes wide and sweeping through the dark; seeking, eternally seeking.

“Who are you?” They moaned a desperate tone that matched her earlier one.

A tendril of dark she couldn’t see caressed her eyes, and she startled hard enough to jerk backwards, steps silent in the void.

The touch receded, and as it pulled away a figure lit before her. She squinted at it, it’s shape going from blurry to clear.

“False Pieces?” She recognized. 

Chocolate brown eyes watched her, as she attempted to approach; but no matter how many steps she took he was no closer, and no farther away.

“Who are you?” He asked in a clear, single voice; his own voice. No… wait… was that his voice?

Nanami felt panic rise.

She couldn’t remember. She couldn’t remember what his voice sounded like. And as this thought hit her, the color of his hair began to morph, switching from several shades of red to a dull brown and back again.

“Please… don’t do this…” She begged the void.

It laughed at her without sound, and stole more of her memories of Sasori with a singled minded glee.

She felt the empty pressing in, pulling at the wisps of her mind. Taking the very last thing she had left of her beloved brother.

Her memories.

And then he crumpled to dust before her, and there was only darkness once more. The harder she tried to remember the farther away the memories seemed to be.

“Please, it’s all I have left…” And her voice began to sound empty to. She felt empty, her chest a gnawing deep chasm of nothing but the ugliest blooming flower of regret.

“Who are you?” They called again, and Nanami shook her head desperately.

“It doesn’t matter.” She told them legs trembling as she back tracked through nothing, and then forward in what might have been circles.

For hours, for days, for years there was only her steps and the dark.

For so many lifetimes until the moment she wished they would say something, anything.

Who would say something? She was alone here. There was only… her. 

There were memories once, people… people she was sure she had loved so deeply.

But now there was no one.

“Who are you?”

She gasped a sob.

“I am the witness.” 

And there was light. Light all around, banishing the void.

But Nanami was still alone.

There was no one. Not even her.

Only a single voice.

“Time waits for nothing, time will take everything.”

* * *

Hidan rolled over, drool trailing down his chin and flopped a heavy arm across her middle, startling her out of her newest nightmare in a long string of nightmares that never let her sleep.

She breathed deep, images and sounds already fast fading, swallowed by her waking mind. But there was always that feeling left behind. The desperation, torment and panic.

It was awful.

This had been going on for weeks. Ever since she had woken to the feel of Raven Eyes’ pain. She wasn’t sure why the dreams never went away. Stress maybe, Nanami worried about a lot of things and she did her best to hide this from her Red Clouds. She was sure they noticed anyways.

The bags under her eyes didn’t help her case any, nor the lethargic way she moved about the base during the day. Like she was asleep on her feet.

Nanami figured this might be normal; she had a lot more things on her mind than the average eight year old. And she was still coping with the loss of False Pieces.

Hidan murmured something about paper bombs into the pillow as he rolled again to face the wall, relieving her of the heavy arm that had startled her from her nightmares. She sighed quietly, a soft exhale from between parted lips that made no sound, and slid from Loud Bloods bed to make her way to the door. Acid green caught her, and Kakuzu sat up to give her a questioning look. 

She smiled tiredly, “Just going to make some tea.” She murmured. He said nothing, not to agree or disagree, just continued to watch as she slipped from the room and pulled the door closed again as quietly as possible.

Nanami rested her forehead against the cool wood of the door, and let out a breath.

She thought maybe if she exhaled purposefully enough times it might expel the awful dreams from her sleep. It didn’t work, no matter how many times she tried. 

She pushed away and turned only to come face to face with Konan’s apathetic figure. She stood there, as if she had been there the entire time. Like her being in the hallway in this exact moment was exactly where she was supposed to be, standing in the dark, in the middle of the night while everyone else was asleep.

She said nothing for a moment, just took in Nanami’s rumpled, exhausted appearance with half lidded apathetic eyes.

“Come.” She commanded and she turned without looking to see if Nanami would follow.

Nanami’s brow furrowed, unsure of what she wanted, but slumped after her without question. Hummingbird had never requested anything from her before, this was out of the normal lines of what Nanami would consider within the nature of their relationship.

It wasn’t unwelcome though.

Konan pushed open the first door before Deidara’s and flicked on a light.

Konan had her own room, which Nanami was sure she was quietly grateful for. Or maybe she didn’t care either way. The woman was pretty hard to get a read on.

Hummingbird took long, confident strides to the far wall of her bedroom, and pulled out the topmost drawer of her night stand. Nanami noted it was cluttered with bottles, and little clasped pallets that she assumed was makeup.

The room smelled like spring flowers.

“Come along.” Hummingbird said as she brushed past her again, flicking the light off once more. Nanami followed demurely, more out of her sleepiness than actually feeling submissive.

She trotted after the woman down the stairs and towards the table, and Konan guested for her to take a seat next to Echo-sama who didn’t even look up from his book as she folded herself down onto the cushion.

Hummingbird sat across from her, coming down in a smooth graceful motion that was more liquid than sinew and bone.

“Hands on the table.” Konan clipped as she placed a small bottle of a dark purple substance between them. When she opened it, the lid had a little brush attached.

Nail polish?

Nail polish that smelled like plums.

Nanami placed her hands flat on the wooden surface, a distantly familiar movement from a lifetime ago when she had participated in such things.

“The smell will fade when it’s dry.” Konan explained with the first swipe across her index nail.

It was quiet for a while, with only the sound of Echo-sama’s turning pages as Konan turned her fingers this way and that to layer the lacquer across her nails. 

“You’re having trouble sleeping.” Hummingbird stated, and it certainly wasn’t a question. Pein’s chakra didn’t even flicker, his disinterest in them evident as his ripple patterned gaze swept across the pages of his book.

Nanami didn’t say anything, unsure if she was supposed to confirm what was obviously a statement and not a question. She offered a noncommittal ‘hn’ sound in the absence of words.

It was quiet again while Nanami waited to see if she would continue. Which she apparently wasn’t planning on.

Konan switched to her left hand, her right gleaming a wet deep purple color that reminded her of poison.

Nanami’s mind wandered as she gazed around the room, finding Pein’s chakra soothing in a strange sort of way. It was calm, and it rippled in a sensation similar to the way his eyes looked. An echo rushing forward to chase another echo on and on. Like waves crashing upon the shore.

“Did Echo-sama do your piercing?” Nanami asked without meaning to as she considered the stud in the woman's lip. 

Pein turned a page in his book, but Nanami knew he was listening for the first time. Konan nodded absently as she turned her little thumb to paint the side.

“Yes.” She told her simply.

“Do they meaning something?” Nanami inquired, not really expecting an answer but curious nonetheless.

“They are symbolic for Konan.” Echo-sama’s smooth voice spoke, and Nanami figured it was something like that. She didn’t miss however, that his statement left out what they meant for him. It didn’t matter though, Nanami was already aware of how the strange black metal bars called receivers allowed him to control Yahiko’s body remotely.

Which one was he again…? Deva Path she thought might have been it, but it had been a long time and she was unsure. She wondered for a moment where Nagato was; probably in Ame somewhere, making rainfall for six days out of the week.

Konan turned the little brush back into it’s bottle after releasing her hand and Nanami kept them flat to give the laquer time to dry, and she laid her head down on her outstretched arms.

“Ah, pain. Seems appropriate.” She murmured in understanding into the table. Physical pain as a show for the emotional pain that didn’t.

Echo-sama’s chakra twisted at her words in apparent empathy. “And what would a child know of pain?” He questioned at her side.

Nanami thought it was a strange thing to ask, because although the words sounded derisive, he wasn’t actually having any feelings of contempt at the moment. Nanami lolled her head lethargically to the side atop her arms so she could look up at the man. Her brown eyes met intense ripples.

She smiled sadly.

What _ did _ she know of pain? She thought about what answer she might give, what kind of words she knew that might encompass the feelings she bore.

Everything she came up with seemed to fall short. Nanami wasn’t good with human language.

She chewed her words for a moment, contemplating before carefully giving an answer.

“The greater your capacity to love, is the greater your capacity to feel pain.” Nanami felt like this was as close as she could come to the core of the thing, but she doubted any words even existed that could truly iterate the devastation she felt; the constant anticipation and fear for a future that would leave her with nothing but memories.

(And even those would fade in time.)

But that wasn’t everything. That wasn’t all of who she was. Because Nanami loved, she loved so deeply.

Nanami loved so much and so thoroughly with every inch of who she was. Like the broad strokes of a fat calligraphy brush dripping heavy with ink she smeared all she had to give across page after page that was her life.

She was sodden with it.

And she hurt just as much as she loved, a precarious balance that she carefully tended to within herself. 

Echo-sama’s chakra flickered again in empathy, and a deep ache that resonated with herself filled the space between them. For a long moment Nanami wondered if they were even different people, for all that she felt, and all that he deeply understood it was almost as if, in this singular moment they shared something more meaningful that words could ever be.

“Aa.” was all he said, and the sound of it felt resigned, and regretful and understanding all at once.

Nagato cried a lot as a child, and even though he never cried anymore he still cared. It’s why he berated the others for bickering, it’s why his demeanor was always respectful. It was why every Sunday in Amagakure it didn’t rain.

Nagato had once loved as deeply as she does, perhaps he still did.

There was no peace for him in this life anymore. There was only pain, and through it he sought to teach the world to desire peace because he didn’t know how else to make them see; and he cared enough to make them want to.

Humans were pretty stupid. All of them.

A part of her truly believed he was correct, and the world would never want an end to the fighting until they’d had enough of it to slake the blood lust and leave only despair in its wake.

Even then, the memories of what remained in the aftermath of brutal death would fade. Generation, to the next generation to the next and suddenly once again there would only be the anger, and resentment towards one another.

War was an insatiable beast.

Even the peace she knew Naruto would one day bring to the world wouldn’t last, because humans had a short memory, and long tempers.

Selfish, cowardly, wrathful, protective creatures that loved and believed so deeply that Nanami doubted there would ever come a day when the memory of anguish lasted forever and no one sought to bring death upon the world ever again.

Human’s were awful, and beautiful things like that.

“The cycle never ends.” She muttered morosely into the crook of her arm. A part of Nanami would always be a nihilist now.

But she supposed she didn’t have to believe in peace to want it, after all, if the fourth shinobi war wasn’t a thing all of her Red Clouds could live their lives as they pleased.

“Hm?” Hummingbird inquired from across from her as she painted her own nails.

Nanami could feel both of their attention on her, like a white hot blade pointed at the back of her exposed neck.

“Humans have short memories.” She told the pair without looking up.

“You speak as if you are not also a human.” Pein monotoned, and she got that feeling again that he said something that was completely at odds with what he was actually thinking.

“Human enough to understand the nature of the word.” 

Nanami knew what it was to be human, to be violent, and angry. To feel the full spectrum of emotions and have them motivate her choices.

No one said anything for a long time, and Nanami drifted slowly as she rested her head on the table, lulled by the sound of turning pages and the soft shifting of cloth.

Even farther into the night, when Konan had long since retreated upstairs and Pein had procured himself another book to read at her side, she felt the approach of a familiar chakra signature.

Kakuzu lifted her gently, collecting stray limbs and gathering all of her together. He turned and made his way back upstairs, but paused at the sound of Leader-sama’s voice.

“Is she even a child at all?” He inquired softly.

“In some ways. Not in others.” Kakuzu told the man quietly above her, a disembodied voice that hazed through the edges of her exhausted mind.

“I see that.” The orange haired man murmured in understanding.

Nanami was laid on a soft mattress a minute later, and Beating Hearts warmth joined her at her side.

Whole, alive, breathing and  _ here. _

A blanket rose to cover them, and she sighed contentedly through distant images of a dream about birds parting clouds that were red in the haze of dawn with soft feathers and mournful trills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness the level of angst in this chapter makes me itchy. I hope Nanami doesn’t end up being one of those preteens. (If anyone is wondering she is still eight at this point.) Despite the weird turn this chapter took i’m not unhappy with it, so I hope y’all enjoy!


	35. The Best-Laid Plans of Snakes and Men

Chapter Thirty-Five: The Best-Laid Plans of Snakes and Men

“Perfection does not exist; to understand it is the triumph of human intelligence, to expect to possess it is the most dangerous kind of madness.” -Alfred De Musset

* * *

 

Otogakure was sort of a redundant name, Nanami thought to herself as she leapt over an outcropping of rock behind Kisame. The Village Hidden in Sound, but there was no village, not really. There was only a series of underground laboratories where Orochimaru and Kabuto performed experiments that ranged from morally dubious to things that would make even the most seasoned of killers cringe.

And on top of that, most of the sannin’s bases weren’t even in the land of Rice. There was only the one, and it had been abandoned already; sometime after the failed invasion during the chunin exams, which would have been almost four years ago.

This was where they were headed now, according to Kisame who was more forthcoming about their assignment than the ever silent Itachi. It would be Akatsuki’s second attempt to retrieve Orochimaru’s ring.

The first attempt hadn’t gone well, the snake man wasn’t a sannin for nothing, and his traps were both well hidden and deadly. Deidara and Sasori had barely made it in, let alone making it out again.

Raven Eyes, Nanami noticed, was different outside of their home. As if he had grown an icy shell around his personality. He had always been more on the quiet side, but his edges were usually soft, and endearingly patient. Out here he was quippy, to the point and his gaze spoke more of murder than tolerance. It had freaked her out for a solid ten minutes before she’d accepted it and moved on.

Raven Eyes was still Raven Eyes, no matter where they were.

Nanami looked back the way they had come and watched as the last of the sun descended past the horizon. The land of Rice was actually quite beautiful, with rolling plains dotted with rice paddies and farmer’s homes scattered about. They had passed a village a few days ago that looked like it was half farmer shops selling feed and fertilizer and half some kind of tourist attraction with billboards advertising naked women blowing kisses and pachinko machines spewing out coins.

Kisame and Itachi had swerved to make a quick exit out of that district as soon as women had started coming out of doorways to coax them inside. One woman had even gone so far as to offer Itachi and Kisame their shops ‘younger fair if that’s what you prefer.’ with a critical eye on Nanami.

Even if they hadn’t been already leaving, they hurried the pace along even more after Kisame had let Samehada taste the whore’s blood. It was Nanami’s first time seeing Oceans… offended. Usually things didn’t really get past his good humor and entertained exterior.

Itachi hadn’t even bothered to stop the larger man, he just watched dispassionately while Nanami stood awkwardly to the side. 

“We’ll stop here for the night.” Itachi murmured, breaking her out of her thoughts. Nanami looked up a steep hill to a set of stone stairs just as steep that led to a ragged looking abandoned temple. The ground was upheaved in places; like it had been the unfortunate target of some nasty A-rank doton jutsu. Trees that had probably once been lively and thick lay in shreds around it, roots flung high above ground where they didn’t belong. There were spider webs hanging from the Torii at the top of the stairs, and all along the balcony awning beyond that.

Nanami shivered, more because of the feeling of this place than the chill in the air.

This temple had been the site of a vicious shinobi battle at some point, she was sure.

Kisame took to the stairs just behind his partner at an easy lope; both of them seemingly unconcerned with the feeling of dread this temple gave off. Maybe they couldn’t feel it?

“I don’t like this place…” She murmured, goose flesh rippling down her arms as her bare toes touched the first cold step. She clutched her plain black cloak tighter around her frame, and brought her deep hood a little lower over her face. (In her mind, she knew the fabric wouldn’t actually ward away the feeling, but it felt similar to pulling the covers over your head to hide from the ghosts in your closet. She knew it wouldn’t do any good but it was comforting nonetheless.)

Kisame looked down at her from the top landing beneath the torii, and grinned down at her. “Don’t be afraid little cat, we’re the only monsters here.” He laughed at his own joke, and the sound of it eased some of the tension between her shoulders.

Right up until a shadow passed over Kisame, and she tensed again, looking up into the twilight to find whatever it was that had cast it.

There was nothing. Nanami shivered again, and Oceans turned to look at Itachi who was laying traps around the carved wooden double doors as if he hadn’t even noticed the strange occurrence.

Nanami turned towards the flattest stretch of ground she could find and flashed through the only series of hand seals she had memorized before placing her palm flat against the ground. Summoning ink scrawled quickly away from her skin and she felt the drain on her chakra as white smoke burst into existence without sound. 

A dappled brown buck danced on agitated hooves before her, his large sprawling antlers twisting this way and that as his dark eyes took in the area she’d brought him to. A doe with a similar coat stood more calmly at the male’s side.

“Little human, good evening.” The doe greeted her politely. Nanami smiled and rose off her hands, pulling her hood back just enough for them to see her face.

“Good evening, would you two mind keeping an eye out for me tonight around here?” and then a little more quietly as she leaned closer to them, their ears flicked towards her. “I have a bad feeling about this place.” 

The doe bobbed her head, and calmly rose a foreleg to paw at the ground. “Yes, we will keep feet to the ground, and ears to the air for you. Rest well, the herd will keep watch.” She assured calmly. Nanami nodded to her and the duo turned towards the trees to begin their rounds.

“Just about ready?” Kisame asked impatiently as Nanami joined him at the top of the steps warily. Something about this place was horribly off.

Itachi didn’t acknowledge him, but he did push one of the double doors open and slip inside the very dark temple. Nanami’s eyes widened, she couldn’t let him go in there alone. 

She made quick strides across the jagged upheaved stone pathway and onto the groaning wooden porch to slide between the open door after Raven Eyes.

Ocean’s came in behind her casual as you please.

It was pitch black inside, the walls lacking windows. It smelled stale and musty; no one had been here in a some time.

But what caught Nanami’s attention was the faint trails of old residual chakra, leading from one end of the room to the next and back again, criss-crossing over itself in hasty tangled lines. It’s dim glow was the only thing she had to see by, and Nanami felt her worry rise when she saw Itachi’s outline come very close to one of the chakra lines.

It was so old though… it couldn’t possibly mean anything right? Perhaps it was just the remnants of some old jutsu.

“Katon: Sukoshi Hi.” Raven Eyes’ voice caught her attention as he lit the room up with a small ball of fire above his hand, which he transferred over to an old torch that hung on the wall to the right of the front door.

The place was a wreck. Floor boards torn to pieces, scorch marks all over the walls and the rice paper dividers shredded to bits; their frames laying strewn across the expanse of the room like long forgotten corpses.

An entire section of floor was missing in the far corner, leaving a large gaping hole to whatever lay beneath.

Kisame kicked at a section of burnt wood, pushing it towards another pile and sat himself down in the roughly cleared space with folded arms and a disgruntled look on his face. “How much farther, Itachi?” 

Nanami thought it was a mature way of asking, ‘are we there yet.’

This wasn’t lost on Itachi either as he shot his partner an irritated look.

“Another hundred klicks at least.” He replied anyways. Kisame gave an exaggerated sigh that seemed to echo hollowly through the abandoned temple.

“This place is so creepy.” Nanami whispered, ducking beneath a strand of chakra. Raven Eyes gave her a strange look at her odd movements as she weaved around things they couldn’t see.

“There so much chakra here.” She continued, talking more to herself than to them. They shared a look with furrowed brows.

Itachi’s sharingan swirled to life, giving an eerie red glow as he swept his gaze over the room before it disappeared once again.

“I’m not detecting any traps, perhaps it is just residual from whatever confrontation occurred here.” Ocean’s relaxed minutely, and Nanami nodded in agreement, having come to a similar conclusion.

Still… that feeling of wrongness itched along her skin, prickly in the back of her mind.

The torched gave a heavy flicker as if pushed with a strong breeze.

The air remained deathly still.

Nanami reached up to grasp her upper arm over her cloak and shuffled over to Oceans’ side to sit close to him. He grinned down at her, rows of sharp teeth that reminded her of safety.

“Try to get some sleep.” Itachi murmured from his place next to the doors, looking like he had no intention of doing so himself. “From here forward we will need to proceed with caution. This is Orochimaru’s territory.”

Kisame snorted rudely and leaned backwards onto his palms after adjusting Samehada on his other side. “Snake face always was a creep.” He told her with silver eyes that glowed in the torch light.

She nodded in agreement; a savant mad scientist with a penchant towards venomous animals would set anyone on edge. Except her Red Clouds, they were all pretty unflappable in their confidence of their own abilities. (And she agreed, they were all deadly in their own rights.)

Nanami pulled her cloak tighter around herself and curled down on the floor, her back flush along Kisame’s folded leg. He didn’t complain. She thought most of his protests about her sleeping in his bed back home was due to the fact that he took up the entire mattress on his own, and wasn’t willing to share what little space might have been left available.

His chakra flowed about quietly, pulled inwards and contained close to his skin for the sake of keeping their location hidden. 

Nanami could still feel it though, as close as she was to him and it soothed her anxiety in its perfect mimicry of ocean waves.

She hummed a contented sound quietly, and breathed in his scent of sea water and clean skin.

Kisame chuckled above her, and she felt rather than saw as he adjusted the hood over her head, and her cloak over her shoulders to his liking.

* * *

Itachi silently counted Nanami’s breathing late into the night; mostly for lack of anything better to do. The girl was awake, which wasn’t unexpected. She’d been having trouble sleeping back at the compound; he would have been fairly surprised if she managed to find it here- in this place.

Kisame was sprawled at her side with eyes closed. He had at least obtained the shallow kind of sleep that active duty required.

Itachi startled out of his calm when Nanami sat bolt upright, eyes wide and staring up into empty air above her. Her hood slipped from atop her head to pool around her neck, revealing her wavy waterfall of brown hair and feather adorned braids that fell from behind an ear.

Her lips parted in surprise, and he didn’t miss the way her pupils dilated in fear. Her hand flashed out to gain a death grip on Kisame’s Akatsuki cloak, and she tugged on it harshly without looking away from whatever it was that she saw above her.

Kisame sat up too, snapping from sleep into wakefulness seamlessly like only a war veteran could achieve. He looked from her up into the empty air above her. Itachi did the same, his sharingan swirling to life, looking for whatever it was she could see that frightened her so much.

There was a strange outline there, some kind of highly condensed chakra construct, and he narrowed his eyes in an attempt to make out it’s faintly visible shape.

Nanami’s mouth parted further, and then snapped shut with clicking teeth before she opened it again.

“Nanami, what is it?” Itachi called to her.

She didn’t look at him as she rose to stand, and Itachi and Kisame rose with her, looking to each other with unsure glances.

Neither one of them enjoyed not knowing what was happening.

Nanami lifted an arm, fingers slipping from the long sleeves of her cloak as if reaching for something.

“Nanami-” Kisame called, placing a hand on her shoulder, and she jerked as if she’d forgotten he was there. Itachi’s frown deepened; it was unlike her to lose her sense of her surroundings.

Her little fingers reached higher above her head, and Itachi saw the strange, dim outline of the construct shift and reach down to meet her.

Oh, that couldn’t be good.

“Don’t-” was all he managed to get out before there was a bright explosion of burning chakra without sound; like a flash grenade had gone off in the abandoned temple. Itachi resisted the urge to turn his eyes and protect the sensitive sharingan from the light. 

His tomoe spun in maddening circles as he memorized what took place in front of him.

Thick heavy bands of chakra made themselves known all throughout the room, condensing together compact enough for him to see, weaving between themselves like spiderwebs glowing brightly as they shifted and tightened around Nanami’s body like a finger trap game. They burned away at the edges at a rapid pace, dissipating at the ends; lit like the wick of a bomb and quickly came into contact with Nanami. Her image flickered, taking on an incorporeal transparency as whatever jutsu this was took hold of her.

Kisame turned, folding the crook of his arm in front of his eyes even as he attempted to grasp Nanami and pull her backwards.

His fingers met empty air, and as her little body sank into the floorboards, the amorphous chakra construct she had touched followed after. 

If he had blinked, he would have missed it.

Nanami had just phased through the floor like it was nothing more than the surface of a lake.

“What the fuck just happened?” Kisame asked him, and his spinning red eyes met unflinching silver.

Outside Itachi heard the clatter of hooves on stone as her summons began to approach, only to be followed by two simultaneous pops as they were dismissed.

“Her summons?” Kisame had heard it too, Itachi nodded.

Itachi’s thoughts flattened in his mind’s eye, and he spread this information out before him like sheets of paper in the wake of the silence that followed Nanami’s disappearance. 

A summon could be dismissed in several ways; the first most obvious one being by the summoner themselves. The second; if the summoner became too low on chakra, or too gravely wounded to maintain them on this plain. The third being if the distance between the two became too much for either party to keep the connection. Distances varied from contract to contract and from summoner to summoner.

His sharingan could detect no barriers on the floor that would hide Nanami from him, there was no residual chakra from what her death would have left, and her signature was no longer within his moderate range so he came to the quick conclusion that it was a high probability of being the third option.

Nanami did not have a large amount of chakra. Itachi estimated she had about as much as a genin as she never used jutsu and therefore never expanded her reserves. Her summons were the only exception to this, and her chakra strings used little to no chakra at all.

Her summons were large creatures, with chakra pools of an average size on par with a jounin.

Itachi categorized his knowledge of these things within seconds, and calculated the distance that Nanami and her deer might possibly be able to maintain between them if they combined their available chakra pools.

Then he compensated for the drain of maintaining two summons, and how the additional chakra they provided would balance the available distance.

“Some kind of transportation jutsu. She’s a minimum of eighty klicks away, possibly further.” He told Kisame, who nodded.

“Let’s get going then.” The shark man took this development in stride as he shouldered his sword onto its thick leather strap.

It was not lost on Itachi that Orochimaru’s base was a scant twenty additional klicks from the calculated eighty, assuming she had been taken in that direction.

He thought the probability was decently high, considering the glaring lack of any shinobi, let alone one powerful enough and talented enough in the area to pull off this kind of jutsu.

It wasn’t easy to set chakra traps, let alone ones that appeared innocuous to his doujutsu. And then for it to be stable enough to maintain itself for an extended period of time. How long had it been here? Months, years?

Adding to that- whether or not this trap had been set for anyone who stumbled upon it, or if the chakra within the trap was set to search for a target that met certain criteria.

Itachi presumed the latter, since he was doubtful they were the only travelers to stop here, and the chakra had dissipated after moving Nanami. Which meant it had either met its limit of bodies it could move, or it could only maintain the ability to do it once. 

Again Itachi calculated the latter- there wasn’t enough chakra to move more than one person such a great distance, if the trap had had that much chakra, it would have permeated the air enough to become easily detectable from the moment he had stepped foot in this place. Instead it had only become barely visible to him even after it had already been triggered.

No, this was not done by any novice, not even close. This was a carefully planned, and clinically devised trap, set to seek a specific kind of person and ignoring others who didn’t fit the correct criteria.

Itachi had to wonder what kind of parameters Nanami had met for the chakra to spring on her specifically.

He informed Kisame of his theory, and the man’s silver eyes took on a grim cast as they exited the temple.

They shunshin-ed into the night without pause.

* * *

There were very few things in life that Orochimaru found pleasure in. He was not the kind of person who was prone to indulgence like his two idiotic teammates were.  Cold, they called him. Clinical, calculating, manipulative. Orochimaru had been accused of being inhuman more than once in his life, and frankly, he didn’t care.

Humans were little more than lab rats, useless creatures that felt too deeply and let their judgment be clouded by inconsequential and completely irrelevant things such as the concept of ‘morality’. Progress, above all, should have been the ultimate goal, and for him it was. Orochimaru lacked whatever it was that others had that allowed them to think differently.

Or perhaps they lacked something he had that allowed him to see the goal over the means to attain it.

What was a few lives in the face of the cure to a disease that could save hundreds of thousands of people? (Not that he cared about the people themselves- he just wanted to be the one to find the answer.)

What was one, or two, or three hundred children in the face of reviving a long lost kekkei genkai- he honestly just did not compute why humanity let these frivolous notions get in the way of  _ progress. _

There were very few things in this life that Orochimaru found pleasure in, and his own personal progress was one of these things.

It had driven him to study the young human Jugo, and his sage-like kekkei genkai that allowed him to take nature chakra and make use of it with only the single adverse effect of mental instability.

A small hurdle to overcome, he had originally thought as he began to develop the curse seal; formatting it based on Jugo’s abilities.

It was not so, he discovered as he watched many of the pitiful humans succumb to senseless rage under the effects of his prototype seals. Many died during these bouts of stupid berserker like rages. Many died simply from being incompatible with the seal itself.

That wouldn’t do, Orochimaru would settle for nothing less than perfect, and while the rage was useful in some aspects; such as it had been when it had driven Sasuke to use the curse seal to it’s fullest the first time, thus allowing its roots to take a greater hold on the boy- it was more detrimental than helpful in most cases.

If a shinobi could not control themselves, then they were no better than cannon fodder. Which is what he mostly ended up with- a whole lot of useless bodies to be tossed around like they were already dead.

What he wanted was an army of sages, what he got was a lot of garbage. What he wanted was the full reach of a sage’s ability for himself, without the years and years of worthless wasted time meditating. He had better things to do.

Orochimaru had once upon a time- more than four years ago- come to the conclusion that although he was not satisfied with what the curse seal  _ could _ be, he accepted that without further data he could do no more- and his time was running low.

He had desperately needed the Uchiha boy’s shell at the time, and it had forced him to make the foolish mistake of rushing his prototype. In the end he had been forced to take a different shell regardless, and this chafed at him unpleasantly.

He hadn’t gotten either outcome he had wanted, and his life’s work remained incomplete.

Orochimaru always got what he wanted, one way or another.

He had long ago been informed by his bespectacled assistant of the feral child that lived among his former associates that made up the Akatsuki.

At first this had been nothing but idle curiosity. What did she have that played upon their interests? Surely they didn’t keep her around for the company a small child could provide.

He hated children, disgusting, stupid little creatures the lot of them.

And then his informants within Sunagakure had informed him of the most  _ interesting development,  _ the ability to disrupt and sever chakra as it is being used was not something any shinobi he knew of was walking around with.

He would have known about something like that.

_ Oh. _ The things that he could  _ do _ with that. 

So Orochimaru had dug further, his interest in the child renewed tenfold and it had led him to his old teammates informant ring, and then into the ANBU records office within Konoha. It was a paltry effort for a sannin like him, with the kind of control he had over various people to obtain this information.

“ _ Sage-like kekkei genkai that allows her to touch and guide nature chakra.”  _ He was informed, and Orochimaru didn’t need anything else to spur his desire towards obtaining the girl, towards his burning desire to see his curse seal come to true fruition. It had all come rushing back to him like water cresting over the edge of a mountain’s peak. He would have her, and her would spill her secrets open all over his lab just like he had with Jugo.

So he prepared. He laid rumors that his original laboratory had been abandoned, which at the time it  _ had.  _ Then he made sure to let slip that he was no longer in possession of his ring and hadn’t been since he’d left that base behind, which had also been true- at least right up until he had returned.

He made sure the word got out, the bait to draw them in and with any luck, she would trail along behind. After all, what was the danger of sneaking into a supposedly abandoned base compared to capturing a jinchuuriki on its home turf?

And if not, well, he was a very intelligent man. He would just come up with another way to pull her out of Akatsuki.

Orochimaru found himself scoffing at the thought of her inclusion in their plans to retrieve the ichibi. The danger she had been in- all that research he could have lost. A live test subject was much more revealing than a dead one.

So Orochimaru devised the perfect trap, and he laid many throughout the area surrounding the supposedly abandoned laboratory. His research into the sages having provided the knowledge to create such a thing.

Orochimaru worked to condense nature chakra into strands, similar to how he had applied it within the curse seal, and use these to anchor the focal point of the trap to a stable location. 

The focal point being a chakra construct born purely out of nature chakra. It was blurry and incorporeal in form to his own eyes, but because he was it’s creator it looked very human like. Very much like him actually, if you knew what to look for beyond the indefinite lines.

This construct would be the spider laid upon the web.

And because this construct and the threads of the trap itself that tied it in place were made from nature chakra; only she or another shinobi that was within an active sage-mode could ever interact with, sense or clearly see it.

And then he waited, and waited, and waited so long he had almost given up.

He was sleeping when the alarm rang through his senses, and he sat up smoothly with all the grace of a devious snake.

A smile stretched his lips. It was a cruel, unkind thing.

Finally.

* * *

Unfortunately, as the sannin would soon come to know, for all his planning and carefully laid traps; it had never even occurred to him- in his arrogance and single minded determination- to think that a feral child raised amongst S-class missing-nin, with a kekkei genkai he didn’t yet understand the limitations to- might, just possibly, be more than he would desire to deal with.

But he would learn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, this chapter was difficult! I really tried to get across how crazy smart Itachi was here. That, and I tried to keep Orochimaru’s motivation’s cannon as well, and I really hope all of that wasn’t too super confusing. How was it? Did you guys follow along okay? I hope I didn’t leave anyone behind!  
> PS. I actually wasn’t sure what measurement they use in the Naruto-verse for distances so I went with klicks, which is a military term. Which felt fitting to me since the world is so militarized. 100 klicks is the equivalent to 100 kilometers, or for those of us in the states, about 62 miles.


	36. Bitter Wings; Brother of my Brother

Chapter Thirty-Six: Bitter Wings; Brother of my Brother

Sun Tzu says,

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”

“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.”

* * *

 

Sasuke came to a silent halt before the grimy prison cell, and he felt a shiver slide down his spine in anticipation. There she was, crouched in the center of her small confines. Her cloak and hood swathed around her, and Sasuke couldn’t help but think that she was much smaller than he had expected.

To think that this child was acquainted with _that_ man.

He scoffed at Orochimaru’s attempt to keep such a thing hidden from him. This girl had come from that group of murderers- if the rumors were true. For what reason they had her, or why even the sannin wanted her- he had no idea. And frankly he didn’t really care.

All he cared about was information. The information he was sure this little girl would have. It had been a long, long time since he had heard anything about that man, and he was heaving with desperation internally over it. Frustrated and angry, he spent all his time training and getting stronger; but Sasuke wasn’t a man known for his patience.

He would stop at nothing until his family was avenged. He would stoop to using even little girls to get what he wanted. He would torture her to get the information if need be. He didn’t care. Nothing outweighed his crushing, overwhelming desire to see that man _dead._

She rose to stand before him, a small pitiful height. Her black cloak so much like the one that man wore; only lacking the red clouds- swirled around her feet, it’s deep hood shadowing her features.

Sasuke didn’t know why she’d been brought here, but he felt a flash of pity for her fate. Orochimaru was not a merciful man. At least- he wouldn’t have been, if Sasuke hadn’t gotten here first.

It had been luck for him to stumble upon a conversation of who had arrived, as late at night as it was. The sannin’s weaker experiments had gathered, catching his attention as they discussed in low tones the preparations they had been ordered to make.

Some fairly unpleasant things, apparently.

As soon as the name ‘Akatsuki’ had slipped he knew he needed to see for himself.

He heard the soft ring of a bell as she took a confident, unfaltering step towards him, towards the thick iron bars that separated them. Her confident body language surprised him.

She hadn’t even been here an hour yet. Perhaps she wasn’t fully aware of the position she was in? Was she not afraid? Captured and in the clutches of a psychopathic scientist who wanted to cut her sternum open while she was still awake and alive- Sasuke had seen Orochimaru do some heinous things to children before.

He had expected a crying, pathetic whimpering mass; like all the other children when they were brought here against their will. Maybe she was just stupid.

He thought this creature before him must be just as insane as his brother- just as corrupted as the people within that group, and it struck him then how much she seemed like one of them.

Her body language, a languid, careless sort of relaxed state. Like a snake weaving back and forth right before it strikes. Even her cloak lended to the image.

A child Akatsuki.

Something similar to trepidation itched the nape of his neck, but he shook it off.

“Sasuke.” He felt another shiver slide down his spine at the sound of his name in her childish, and yet seemingly uncaring voice. As if she couldn’t be bothered to be afraid of where she was. Like she felt nothing more complicated than simple boredom.

His flash of unease was quickly replaced by white hot anger, and he clenched his fists at his side. How did she know his name? Did that man speak of his little brother to this insignificant little twit?

Something crawled around in the back of his mind as he watched her glide closer on light feet, little fingers painted black peaking out from voluminous sleeves at her sides.

She behaved as if she was just… waiting patiently. As if there was no real danger.

There was something indescribably wrong with this little girl, and it irritated him that he couldn’t quite put his finger on what.

“Your seal… he’s placed a part of himself inside you.” She murmured, and she reached up to pull down her hood. The fabric pooled around her shoulders, and Sasuke found himself surprised at how… normal she looked.

Her light brown wavy hair fell just above her shoulders, with slightly tanned skin and almond shaped doe brown eyes. Braids swung from behind her ear, adorned with raven feathers and a single silver bell.

If he had seen her on the street, he would have thought her a normal looking little girl. Maybe just a lost genin on the small side, or perhaps an early graduate.

And yet...

Sasuke had spent a lot of time with the sannin, and he knew the look of a feral animal in a human’s eyes when he saw it. This girl was a wild, uncontrollable thing that would shred skin from bone without a second thought.

Sasuke knew a monster when he saw one. It was in the eyes.

She lifted her arm slowly, a casual gesture that had him so tense he thought he might shatter.

She’s in a cell, in Orochimaru’s territory, he reminded himself. She’s just a child with genin level chakra reserves. There’s absolutely nothing she could possibly do to harm him. She wasn’t even leaking any killing intent; he doubted she even could.

These thoughts didn’t help as he watched little painted fingers flick towards him, like she was flinging water. His instincts screamed at him to move, but his pride told him to stay put.

Harmless, just a child. She didn’t even have any weapons on her, and she certainly couldn’t combat his family doujutsu.

Chakra strings uncoiled from her fingertips and lashed out at him lightning quick, and Sasuke would have laughed then if he was the type to show that kind of thing outwardly. Was she aiming at him? With chakra strings?

What a pointless weapon, he thought as it breezed past his cheek. He hadn’t even moved, and she couldn’t even hit him with them from that distance? He felt foolish for ever feeling wary of this child.

“I am the worst opponent you could possibly have, Bitter Wings.”

His arrogant humor evaporated in an instant.

It was like a door had been slammed shut between his waking mind and the world around him, and he drowned in too many sensations too quickly for him to comprehend what was suddenly taking place.

His curse seal burned with foreign chakra, her’s- he realized as it scrawled it’s inky black waves across his face. How could she possibly have activated his seal? She hadn’t even touched him, barely even moved.

“Hm.” She made a small sound as she watched his seal activate from inside her cell, and Sasuke screamed at his body to _move_.

Nothing happened. He didn’t so much as twitch as her flat, apathetic eyes held his.

Eyes like his brothers.

Thoughts that were not his blazed across his mind, feelings that didn’t belong to him arrested his consciousness and he felt as if he was sinking deep underwater, drowning in the will that had captured his seal, and through it- him.

She felt in ways he hadn’t expected a monster to feel. She pitied him, and he felt the love and devotion for his brother and many others echo through him. It was a long forgotten emotion that dredged up similar feelings within himself he’d once had as a child. Sasuke thought distantly that he should feel sickened by this, but he didn’t; there was only her in his mind now.

His consciousness swam through thick emotions and who he was sunk low beneath who she was. His anger, his hate a far off distant cry he could barely even remember.

_He needed to leave this place,_ he felt more than thought. He worried for them, they would be coming soon, and Sasuke didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

It was as if he was in a waking dream. As if he were inside a locked room watching the world turn from a window. Cut off, and separated from his body. Her will, and potent feelings so cloying and prominent in his mind that he fell slack, the urge to resist having not even occurred to him from inside the place she had moved him to; swathed in love and worry with a tinge of desperation.

“Time to go, brother of my brother.” She whispered into the space between them.

Something about what she said alarmed him, that should… he should…

Something… maybe…

What...?

His arm reached around behind his back without him telling it to, and he acknowledged this distantly; unable to bring himself to care. His fingers curled around the hilt of his sword that perpetually rested at his waist.

He unsheathed it, the ring of steel jarring against stone walls, eyes glazing as her chakra gained a stronger foothold on the seal that entangled his body and chakra coils so entirely.

Yes… he wanted… he _needed_ to return to his… loved ones…

He had to… take her there. Yes, yes.

It was time to go home now.

Lightning natured chakra fed down the length of his blade, and as he swung it towards the bars of her cell, his conscious mind entangled fully with hers; no longer able to separate her wants from his.

He didn’t even think he had any wants anymore. There was only her.

It felt… good…

To love, instead of hate. It was… relieving.

* * *

  
-Less than an hour prior-

Being dragged around by chakra was not the most pleasant thing Nanami had ever experienced, but it was nowhere near as awful as Tobi’s kamui. So at least she didn’t find herself vomiting when the world around her became still once more.

Nanami’s bare toes touched against cold, grimy stone and chakra fizzled out around her until it was gone completely. Her cloak swirled around her, bits of dust and rock pushed away at her arrival.

She hadn’t _meant_ to touch the thing really. But she had never seen nature chakra take the form of a human before, and well, it had fascinated her. After she’d had the realization that it wasn’t really a ghost of course. She felt a little silly for riling herself up over thinking the place had been haunted.

Of course it was a jutsu. _Of course._

Nanami took in her surroundings carefully. She was in a small stone room that smelled strongly of blood, urine, and dirty hay. It was not a pleasant thing. A pile of disgusting straw lay in a corner, makeshift bedding of some kind she assumed. It was the source of most of the smell here.

Gross.

There were three solid stone walls, slightly damp with moisture and growing black moss across their surfaces like a slick filmy blanket.

The last wall wasn’t so much a wall as it was a stretch of vertical bars that separated her from the hallway beyond. The hall sported a row of many torches that lit the area up brightly. They flickered gently.

A cell then, she was in a cell.

“Interesting.” She murmured to no one, and she gave herself a moment to calm her rapidly beating heart.

She could handle this, panic or crying wouldn’t help her.

Nanami knew who she was; and her Red Clouds believed in her, so she would too. (Sometimes her child’s logic was a great boon.) All their efforts to make something out of her would not go to shit at the first sign of trouble.

She refused to break, their time was precious to her she wouldn’t waste what they had given her.

Someone was either very stupid to try to kidnap her; the Child of the Akatsuki (Directly from two of its members known for being ridiculously overpowered even) or arrogant enough to think they could outsmart her Red Clouds, and believe her helpless enough that she couldn’t fight back.

Perhaps both.

She stood there calmly with her thoughts, as if this was exactly where she had meant to be. She made herself believe it.

Nanami stretched out her senses to find herself surrounded by the strangest chakra signatures she had ever felt, and she anchored herself to the task at hand; a clean and clear distraction from the panic she buried deep.

All of them were human- _sortof,_ but all of them were also… not.

One excessively large signature was approaching, and Nanami’s eyes narrowed as she considered the way it felt.

What… was that… what was it that was so off about it?

Soft footsteps reached her ears, and Nanami pulled her hood back up from where it had fallen. She wasn’t as good at hiding her expressions as Raven Eyes was, and she didn’t want to give away the shiver of unease crawling down her spine.

She pushed it away firmly; compartmentalizing it into the back of her mind to deal with later.

She eyed the bars in front of her, her mind working through possible options and discarding others. She didn’t plan on staying here for very long.

A tall, lithe figure stepped before her, his shadow cast forward by the torches along the wall behind him. It wavered on the ground, stopping just before her feet.

He had utterly pale skin, flashing golden eyes and pin straight black hair.

Orochimaru of the sannin.

And oh.

_Oh, his chakra._

Nanami couldn’t stop her hysterical giggle from escaping at the feeling of it, at the sight of it.

For all that this man was an incredibly intelligent _human._

He had clearly gone to some extreme lengths to graph _animal_ chakra into his.

And all the signatures made more sense at this realization. His experiments, he’d taken people and made them into strange human animal amalgamations. Others even still, reeked of both nature chakra and animal chakra, twisting and twining together around their human energy. Some she barely even recognized as human at all.

She giggled harder, bringing up two voluminous sleeves in front of her face, even though he couldn’t see her features, to hide the smile. Maybe it was a habitual gesture.

Orochimaru had brought a viper into his den of mice.

And for once, even though a part of the dangerous man was so very much a snake- he was definitely not the animal in this analogy.

“What’s so funny, pet?” He hissed in a humored, pleasant kind of way.

The sound of it as deadly as she was sure he was. She felt the surprise flicker through his human chakra. Apparently, he hadn’t been expecting her laugher. His surprise was quickly followed by disappointment.

Well, no one had ever said she was sane. Maybe she was spending too much time with Hidan, (Aa, Hidan, how she loved him.) or maybe she’d always been off her rocker.

She suspected it was the latter.

She gave a mocking, shallow bow at the waist. “Orochimaru, it’s nice to meet you.” She tittered out her greeting politely.

His golden eyes narrowed dangerously, before his thin lips parted in a sickly sweet smile that was completely at odds with the look in his eyes.

“Welcome, little girl.” He returned softly. “To your new home, at least… for now. We’ll be moving along shortly- before your little friends can come looking for you.” He trailed off with a fake, thoughtful look before he turned his piercing golden eyes on her again.

“I see your emotional stability might not be as rational as I had thought.” He said this more to himself, and the words seemed to deepen his disappointment.

“No matter.” He continued, eyes sharpening on her. “I’m sure your interesting abilities will help to further my research, isn’t that exciting for you little child?” He said this as if he expected it would frighten her.

Nanami tampered down on a louder giggle as she eyed his ambient swirling chakra.

His intimidation was completely pointless.

She could reach out with a chakra string right now and take over half of who he was, his animal half. She had no idea what would happen to him when she did, but she was sure it would be unpleasant for him. But she didn’t, because she was sure it would be unpleasant for her a well.

“Quite the animal, aren’t you Orochimaru. _”_ She whispered back to him between clenched teeth that barely held back her hysterical laughter.

Her voice warbled with her humor anyways, and she was sure her eyes would glow in the torch light if he was able to see them.

“Hou…” He made a sound of interest at her words. His grin got a little sharper, a little more outwardly menacing.

“I think I’m going to enjoy this.” He said pleasantly as he turned away, soft footsteps carrying him down the corridor where she couldn’t see.

Nanami watched him go until he was beyond the wall of her little cell. Just because she could effect his chakra still didn’t make it the wisest idea. Some of the tension his presence had brought uncoiled in her belly.

He could kill her without a single thought in less than a split second, and she wouldn’t take that risk unless there was no other options left at all.

So she waited for a while, biding her time to see what would happen. She was completely surrounded by these warped chakra signatures, and she was confident she could use her kekkei genkai to effect any of them.

She imagined that Raven Eyes and Oceans were heaving put upon sighs right now as they trudged after her. She knew they would never leave her behind, and it certainly helped that she was apparently at the base they were headed for anyways.

She frowned then, a sliver of something that felt unsure tangling through her thoughts.

Nanami knew Orochimaru was smarter than this.

There was no way he would bring her here without some sort of plan to either delay- or in a much less likely instance; kill or injure her brothers. Her eyes narrowed as she recalled the frustration the artist duo had returned home with when they had been sent for the irreplaceable Akatsuki ring.

The human, who was also (literally) a snake probably had some kind of trap set up for them.

But obviously, he wasn’t aware of what she was capable of, or he would have never approached her to begin with. He would never have put himself close enough for her to touch his chakra.

Unless he really was just that arrogant.

Which she supposed could be possible…

She shook her head to clear those thoughts. There was nothing she could do about Oceans and Raven Eyes right this instant, she needed to focus on getting out of this piss stained cell first, and then the underground base after that.

She ran through her mental checklist of what she might be able to pull out to bend or break the bars that separated her from the hallway, and subsequently came up with nothing.

She might be able to augment her muscles enough to strong arm her way out, but she was worried it would take too much chakra. The bars were pretty thick, she realized as she eyed them.

Nanami crossed her arms and folded herself down onto the ground.

There were all the available signatures ambling about, but one of them would have to come to her before she could attempt to take over their nature or animal chakra parts.

She huffed out loud, a soft exhale of breath, and then immediately regretted it after she inhaled the scent of rotting bodily fluids and blood afterwards.

She wrinkled her nose. This was seriously some disgusting ass shit- didn’t the sannin know anything about cleanliness? You’d think a guy so hell bent on obtaining information through medical means would want to keep his subjects _clean._

If she ever got the opportunity to say something without the fear of having her head chopped off, she promised herself she would chew him out for his slovenly prison cells.

The sensation of a particularly strong nature chakra signature caught her attention, someone was approaching, muffling footsteps with human chakra in a well practiced cat foot.

Well, maybe she’d be leaving soon enough then.

But getting out of this cell would only be step one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IEAD up to this point was still unBeta-ed. 
> 
> Honestly, i’m not really sure how I feel about this chapter, but here it is and once again I feel like I can only rewrite something so many times before I have to quit fucking with it. No Itachi or Kisame POV yet, but I promise i’m not ignoring them.  
> What did you guys think? Please let me know- and thank you for reading!  
> Next Chapter: Linked (Consequences) or: Emotional Backlash


	37. Linked (Consequences)

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Linked (Consequences)

This chapter was Beta-ed by the amazing Wistfuldaydream, Thanks for all her hard work and support!

“Let your plans be dark, and as impenetrable as the night; and when you make your move, fall like a thunderbolt.” -Sun Tzu

* * *

Nanami eyed the boy as he stood in front of the bars, and in return he seemed to be summing her up as well. His chakra flickered between pity, anger, and determination. She frown from beneath her hood. He seemed to be debating over something.

His eyes were so much like Itachi’s it was startling. Dark pools of black that held something unfathomable behind them. Sasuke though, lacked that look that Raven Eyes had. That aura that made her believe he could see through her, effortlessly read her mind; know exactly what she was thinking.

Instead, Sasuke seemed… young. His expressions, while wholly negative, were plastered across his face clear as day. His impatience, his anger, his frustrations. He just… looked like an angsty teenager, trying to figure everything out.

Nanami supposed she could empathize even if she didn’t agree with the whole ‘commit everything in life to killing one man.’ It just seemed like he’d be left with a whole lot of nothing afterwards- but the hypocrisy in that wasn’t lost on her either.

Nanami had also committed her life to one thing, and when it was over… well. She wouldn’t think about that right now. (Or ever.)

Comparing Sasuke to his elder brother was probably unfair; but she couldn’t help but note that his chakra and the way he carried himself all spoke of arrogance and pride born from the wrong intentions.

Raven Eyes had confidence in his abilities, but he was never arrogant. If anything he seemed more self deprecating; but Nanami only got that impression because she had years of familiarity to interpret his chakra.

Sasuke’s skin was deathly pale, like he hadn’t seen sunlight in a year. His hair was as she remembered it from the books and the show, a dark unruly mass that framed his face and stuck up in spikes at the back like a tangled mass of cow lick.

He wore a parted white kimono top tucked into some kind of blue fabric that swathed over his hips atop his plain black pants. It was all tied together with the thick purple rope that also held his chokuto to the small of his back. She liked the short sword actually, the lack of a hand guard made for a sleek looking design. It’s length bent horizontally as he rested an arm on the hilt.

His stance was casual, but aggressive enough to clearly be an attempt at intimidation.

Nanami wasn’t intimidated by this boy, even less so than she had been by his master.

She uncoiled from the grimy floor like a lazy cat to greet him with careful, slow movements. She didn’t want to startle him.

“Sasuke.” She greeted. His eye narrowed, and his fist clenched at his side. His chakra flared in irritation and anger.

Oh, he didn’t like that.

She resisted the urge to shrug. He’d get over it.

His curse seal caught her attention, and she noticed how much stronger the nature chakra was in his compared to the others in this place. She suspected his seal was a more completed form. It would make sense that Orochimaru would want to test out prototypes before giving his final work to the focus of his obsessions.

Nanami knew that she could easily grasp his seal, the thing was practically oozing nature chakra even in it’s dormant state. The odds were not in his favor, but even then she was unsure of how exactly this was going to pan out for either of them- she’d never attempted to guide a human before. 

Even her brief experience with Gaara chakra had been more along the lines of ‘tear it apart’ than actually  _ take it over. _

But Gaara didn’t have a handly little seal spewing nature chakra all over the place either.

Something else about it too… felt so much like the man she had met prior to this Uchiha. As if Orochimaru had cut a piece of himself and placed it inside the seal...

Her eyes narrowed as she considered it. He had done something like that in the books, right? She murmured it aloud as her thoughts ran away with her. 

This probably wouldn’t help him either.

Sasuke’s arrogance wasn’t a surprise, as far as she could remember that was a main character trait for this boy. She took another few steps to cut the distance between them, and pulled down her hood to face him in the flickering light of the torches.

His dark eyes widened slightly before they returned to their usual haughty glare.

Nanami held back a snort.

Well, no time like the present- places to be, people to see and all that. Best to take advantage of the situation while she still had the opportunity; she probably wouldn’t get any better openings.

Nanami brought up a hand slowly and flicked painted fingertips towards him, her chakra string uncoiled and brushed past his cheek lightning quick and well practiced in its movement.

Sasuke was so tense he looked ready to break, but his demeanor changed when her chakra string didn’t touch him- the arrogance returning ten fold.

But he didn’t know she didn’t really need to touch his skin, just his chakra. (And he had plenty of that.)

“I am the worst opponent you could possibly have, Bitter Wings.” She named him quietly, and gave her warning.

Nanami fed her chakra into the energy that made up his seal, and watched in rapt fascination as it bloomed and spread across his face and arms in a hot red and inky black war march.

“Hm.” It was actually kind of pretty to look at. Well, Sasuke himself was pretty to look at too, but this was in a different way. A more aggressive kind of beauty that pleased the part of her that lusted after violence.

Nanami watched as the parts of him she could influence, smothered the part of him that could fight back. She waited a couple of heartbeats for him to resist her hold. He didn’t though, and she found it odd that he would surrender to the link she created between the two of them without a struggle.

But she understood, as the ink on his skin settled and his chakra relaxed under her desires. A part of him that shared her desires echoed back into her, an answer to her unasked question. The same emotion resonated between both of them through her link; and she realized that this- beyond all his disadvantages was the reason he was calm inside her kekkei genkai.

A part of Sasuke still loved his brother dearly, the way all of her did; with the same burning intensity that she felt.

He had forgotten, but now he remembered- through her, through their link.

“Time to go, brother of my brother.” She whispered to him sadly.

Nanami watched his eyes take on a glassy, hollow look and she urged him to draw his sword. His muscle memory guided the movements even though he wasn’t quite all there. He knew this, he knew the motions, he had practiced them day in and day out, preparing for the day he would kill her brother. 

His brother… their brother.

When he fed lightning into the blade she was surprised. It seemed that even as willing as he was Sasuke still retained a certain amount of autonomous behavior. 

Interesting.

Nanami wasn’t complaining, it would help if it came down to a fight; but she was hoping they would be able to sneak out of here quietly.

The bars of her prison parted like butter in the wake of his fluid slash, but it was loud. Very loud. He made the same motion again, swinging back the opposite way to create a gap and Nanami wasted no time in slipping out.

Sasuke sheathed his sword with a click, eyes dull, and she felt a pang of regret for having to use him like this. It’s not like she wanted to, but it was the only ability in her arsenal that could get her out of here.

She hoped Raven Eyes would forgive her.

The boy crouched in front of her, and she felt another flicker of surprise as he held his hands out behind him. She climbed onto his back and he rose again, a hand curled under her as she clung to his shoulders and the other resting on the hilt of his blade.

_ Quietly. _ She urged. 

Sasuke flickered away with light steps as silent as the grave.

* * *

He set her down behind a tall cabinet in a dark room tucked into a hallway that appeared to get very little foot traffic. They crouched down together, his hand grasping her wrist to keep himself in easy contact as Nanami stretched her senses out.

Sneaking out wasn’t going to work. This place was too big, and there were too many people.

They needed a diversion.

She felt the largest chakra signature in the area flare out in fury from far off in the direction of the cell she had left behind. So Orochimaru was onto them, damn. She needed to figure something out quickly.

“Bitter Wings,” She whispered, and dark, void like dark eyes turned to her. He blinked lethargically, his grip on her little wrist shifting.

His emotions were a mess. A strange sort of feedback loop had started between the two of them, and it worried Nanami.

She had never had to stay in constant contact like this before- let alone for this long.

Usually, she only needed to place one thought and the instructions would be carried out simply. But her link with Sasuke was different by the very nature of her situation, and of course because he was a  _ human _ . Animals didn’t feel complex emotions like Sasuke did, but she was making suggestions to him through the use of his curse seal- through nature chakra that dominated his when the seal was activated.

Nanami had urged him feel the need to leave this place with her at the very start, but their environment was constantly changing and as a result what she needed from him was also constantly changing. Like now, when the need to hide was more important than their slow and silent crawl towards the exit.

The contact wasn’t wearing too harshly on her chakra, because now that he was always close enough to touch she only needed to brush her ambient chakra along his, but there was another kind of strain.

Something new she hadn’t experienced before.

Sasuke was... taking bits of her into him; for lack of a term. She could feel her love for her Red Clouds, something that was constantly on her mind swimming through the link, and taking hold in him. Grafting itself into his emotions like what she felt was truly how he felt as well.

Because she was constantly aware of how he felt through their link, it returned to her with a near crippling echo of love for Raven Eyes, and an added sense of despair in a strange sort of feedback loop. 

It made her nervous, and concerned her. Would the link remove her feelings from him when it was broken, or was she…

Was she changing the way Sasuke felt about his brother without meaning to?

That… probably wasn’t good… right?

Said boy tugged on her wrist, and she realized he was waiting patiently for her to continue speaking. Another thing she knew wasn’t like him, but more like her. Sasuke wasn’t a patient creature- but she was.

Nanami grimaced, Sasuke’s emotions were a mess. She hoped they could get out of this place soon, or she worried that...

She worried about how much of her he would be keeping if he stayed within her kekkei genkai for much longer.

She didn’t think her ability was supposed to work this way- not really. She wasn’t supposed to be able to impress her wants on humans. Sentient beings with their own wants weren’t supposed to be subject to her will- but Nanami had little choice in this. (Well, that wasn’t true. She had a  _ choice  _ but the alternative was… unsavory.)

“Take me to where the weaker groups gather.” She whispered, and his head of dark hair bobbed agreeably. She didn’t really need to say the words aloud, but it helped to remind her that he was a person. It made her feel less awful about using him like this.

And words seemed to help get her more complicated thoughts across, his ability to process them unimpaired.

Orochimaru’s chakra paced down a hallway that was too close to them for her liking, and she clambered onto Sasuke’s back again and urged him forward on dextrous feet.

Time for a distraction.

* * *

Itachi and Kisame silently circled the perimeter from the treetops. Nestled within a circle of trees was a stone staircase leading down into what they had thought was supposed to be an abandoned laboratory.

This was clearly not the case.

Silver eyes met swirling red from a short distance away and Itachi flashed through a series of silent hand signs.

_ ‘Genjutsu traps detected.’ _ He told his partner as he eyed the thick chakra that clung heavily to the ground before the entrance.

Kisame made an irritated face. ‘ _ Forceful entry?’ _ He signed back, his other hand already gravitating toward Samehada’s hilt.

Itachi frowned as well, considering their options. They didn’t know what kind of state Nanami was currently in, and he was loath to risk her life with careless movements.

This assignment had taken a turn they weren’t expecting. It was no longer about retrieving the ring, for either him or his partner. Nanami’s life takes precedence over a lost piece of jewelry that they had been prepared to move on without anyways.

_ ‘No. Danger to subject, cautionary approach.’ _ He returned.

Kisame’s snarled without sound.

_ ‘Course of action?’ _ Kisame deferred to him, knowing the Uchiha was more adept for this kind of situation. He may have been one of the Seven Swordsmen of Kiri once, a group tailored specifically for assassinations, but Itachi had the brains for devising ways to come successfully out of difficult situations.

Itachi was prepared to lay out a scouting plan when a heavy explosion rocked the area farther ahead of them. Wind shredded through the clearing and the sound of cracking wood followed the deafening blow as trees were torn from the ground and flung away from the blast radius.

Itachi and Kisame leapt clear, bouncing from tree branches down onto the ground as the air quickly settled, leaving only the sounds of burning wood and the heavy smell of smoke. 

“Well.” Kisame laughed, the need for covert movements rendered completely null. “Maybe she doesn’t need saving after all.” 

Pride welled in Itachi’s chest, an unexpected emotion that startled him as soon as he felt it. The corner of his lips quirked, the closest thing to a grin he would ever offer his partner.

Kisame’s own grin widened, recognizing the gesture for what it was.

The two of them flash stepped towards the newly made exit from the underground base, ready to retrieve their wayward child.


	38. Product of My Brothers

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Product of My Brothers

This chapter had been Beta-ed by the magnificent: wistfuldaydream

“Influencing other people is dangerous. Their acts and behaviors become your illegitimate children, and heaven only knows what they might grow up into.” -Elizabeth Bibesco

* * *

They only had one shot to do this right, and Nanami felt the anxiety of finally making her move bubble up inside her chest. She braced her feet against gritty stone, it’s solidity lending her a sense of resolve.

They were about to make a lot of noise, and Orochimaru was already hot on their trail.

Sasuke shifted at her side, his chokuto sliding from its sheath with the ring of steel. Nanami took in their situation quickly, and her fingers curled into the purple fabric that swathed around her temporary thrall’s hips.

The room had at least six men, all startled into battle ready stances but hesitating at the sight of their leaders prized subject: Sasuke. They all wore the same bland tan clothing, with the same purple rope around their waists that also Sasuke sported. It was not the most aesthetically pleasing of uniforms, but Nanami supposed they weren’t here to look pretty.

Three of these men had weak seals; she didn’t think they had enough nature chakra for her to be able to create a connection. Which was sort of ironic in a way, the more power Orochimaru granted his men- the weaker they became to her kekkei genkai. 

One man had no seal at all, instead he had some sort of deformed hunched figure, with legs that bent backwards in an extreme curve like a wolf’s. Even though his body had been severely modified his chakra remained unaltered and completely human. In other words, he completely useless to her, and she dismissed him with only a passing glance.

Nanami would target the last two; their seals were developed enough, and laden enough in nature chakra for her to influence. A tall man with bright orange hair and mean looking eyes, and another with a heavy scowl and a high ponytail full of dark hair that fell like a wave over his shoulder.

Nanami directed Sasuke’s attention towards the four expendable henchmen and he was darting forward before she could even finish relaying what she wanted. His sword flashed in the torchlight and the first man fell to his knees before any of them even realized the fight had begun.

The man’s mouth parted at the same moment his neck did and blood poured around him as he slumped to the ground to lie in his own growing puddle of crimson. The wet thump of the man’s corpse seemed to spur the others into action; and they leapt at Sasuke with weapons drawn.

Nanami flashed into the small room in the wake of her companion’s flickering form. She slid under a poorly thrown punch, her momentum carrying her across cold stone and beneath the surface of the table they had previously been gathered around. 

She turned her body as she slid across the floor balancing on the bare toes and flat palms for four points of contact. She bent her knees inwards, muscles bunching and coiling in preparation incase she needed to leap. The stone grated against her skin as she slid but she ignored the uncomfortable sensation and flung an arm out; sleeves billowing past her hands as chakra strings erupting from painted fingertips.

She made contact with Orange Hair just as Ponytail kicked the table above her into a wall. It clattered loudly over the sounds of Sasuke’s scuffle.

Orange Hair stopped moving, his seal carving its way across his skin and his eyes glazed over.

He stood there vacantly as Sasuke cut down the wolf-man. A severed arm went flying past Nanami to smack wetly into another wall. A hoarse scream echoed around the room; bouncing off stone to reverberate through the air. She winced at the volume of it.

Ponytail snarled at her, spitting onto the ground and cursing as his… friends? fell around him. He threw a punch low enough to target her stomach as she flung herself backwards into the wall in an admittedly sloppy attempt at avoiding it.

It landed before she could dodge to the side and she felt her ribs creaking with the pressure of the blow. She choked and then wheezed, spit flying from her mouth even as her hands were clawing at his arm before he could pull away again. And he too was in her grasp, blooming ink spreading quickly as she infected his seal with her chakra.

It was silent for a moment. The sound of Nanami catching her breath in heavy pants was the only thing that broke the sudden stillness. She slumped against the wall with Ponytail’s arm held in her grip. His face was slack now, the scowl gone.

The small room looked like something out of a horror movie. Body parts strewn everywhere and blood dripping down wet arches across the walls. Nanami was sure the smell was pungent enough to smell from down the hall. 

Sasuke slid his chokuto home with a click and made his way her side again; as unruffled and pristine as he had been before the short scrimmage. Nanami noted that in this he was very much like his brother- unflappable in the face of blood and death.

She brushed her ambient chakra along the young Uchiha’s to reaffirm their link before gently pushing Ponytail away. His arm fell limply at his side, and Orange Hair approached to stand next to him. The two stood in front of her, eyes glassy and seals settled across their skin in a stark contrast of ink and pale flesh.

“Scatter.” She whispered. “Wreck as much mayhem as you can.” They nodded, and flashed away before she could blink. 

Nanami didn’t know how well this was going to work with such a simple command and the distance they would gain between them, but she hoped they would at least gather enough attention for her and the young Uchiha to slip out before the connection was lost.

Sasuke crouched again, and she clambered into the usual piggyback position. He rose as she clutched at his shirt. He rested one sure arm under her, and the other settled at the ready on his tilting sword.

“Let’s go.” And they were moving again, Sasuke’s steps were lightning quick and silent against the stone floors. They made it down a long narrow hallway and past a single turn when a massive explosion went off somewhere behind them. 

Sasuke’s didn’t flinch or hesitate in his forward momentum even as the displaced air snapped their clothing around them. The little bell in her hair chimed, a soft light sound that was at odds with the thunderous boom and subsequent  _ whump  _ of hungry flames coming to life.

Nanami’s ears rang painfully and she hid her eyes into the crook of Sasuke’s bared neck to alleviate the sting of smoke. She could feel heat licking at their backs and heavy black smoke billowed across the ceiling; raining ash down on their heads in a mockery of light snowfall.

She resisted the urge to look behind them; nothing good ever came from looking back, and Sasuke’s skin was warm where she had tucked herself against it. She didn’t really want to move anyways.

Nanami was starting to wear out, the emotional strain behind her link with the boy carrying her was stressing her mind as he kept returning her feelings back towards her with a stronger intensity. Nanami had always thought that an Uchiha’s aptitude for feeling was much stronger than other people’s; now she supposed she had confirmation for that stray thought.

On top of maintaining her link with the boy, there was also the stress from the constant game of cat and mouse between them and the sannin.

It was a game she wasn’t sure they could win.

They slipped around another corner and passed a large an archway carved to look like a snake eating another snake. Lovely.

The room they entered was massive, she couldn’t even see the ceiling and it was much darker than the rest of the complex they had made their way through. Pillars filled the enormous room, lined together in bunched, neat rows. Sasuke weaved between them as if he had done this a million times before. He probably had.

She was aware Orochimaru had made his way past the wreckage left from the explosion and was moving faster than before towards them.

“Quickly.” She urged, and the boy put on another burst of speed as he responded to her.

But it was too late, and she knew somewhere in the back of her mind that there really hadn’t been a good chance of outrunning the sannin. She had hoped though, that she might be able to stall long enough…

Sasuke skid to a halt as the tall snake man appeared before them. As if he had just teleported to the spot. Maybe he had, Nanami- realistically- had no idea what he was fully capable of. Though what she did know wasn’t very reassuring for their chances.

“Sasuke-kun.” The taller man hissed angrily, and he certainly did look pretty pissed off. His already pale skin had a kind of flush to it, (dimly she thought; huh, so that actually is his skin color.) and he was pouring killing intent so heavily into the room that it seemed like the space between them was made more out of Orochimaru’s chakra rather than oxygen.

“What is the meaning of this?” He took one long, extremely threatening step towards them and Nanami felt it as Sasuke instinctively began to spill his own killing intent to combat the older mans.

Nanami was left high and dry on that one; she had no idea how to purposefully make killing intent. She was pretty sure she’d managed it on accident before, but that wasn’t helping her out much right now. She grit her teeth through the sensation of both these powerhouses letting loose their chakra. The muscles in her shoulders and arms tensed in response to her fight or flight reflexes in a surge of dopamine and adrenalin. 

She clutched harder to Sasuke’s white kimono and lifted her head from where she had hidden in the crook of his neck. Her vision wavered in the onslaught of violent chakra before it cleared with a snapping sensation- her adrenalin winning over and forcing her body into processing her surroundings.

It wasn’t a sensation unfamiliar to her; living with a group of people who were ready to kill at the drop of a hat for the majority of her life had instilled in her a reflexive clarity to process information in the face of ‘ _ oh shit, I might actually die this time.’  _

She supposed she had Loud Blood mostly to thank for giving her this state of mind- and then probably Raven Eyes for how she chose to use it. Her thoughts settled into cold understanding; win, or die. These were her options. 

She knew which she would prefer.

“Sasuke isn’t home right now.” She said as calmly as she could manage, softly tapping on the boys temple with gentle fingertips. Nanami felt a little more confident when her voice didn’t break or waver despite all the heavy killing intent in the air. 

Thank you Raven Eyes. She could do this. Nanami could do cold apathy. The sannin before her had no business knowing how terrified she really was. He had no idea what she was capable of, and Nanami was going to bluff her heart out till the very last.  _ ‘I know something you don’t know’ _ she tried to convey with her body language and tone of voice. 

She wasn’t sure if she was successful, but it was better than simpering and crying any day. There would come a time when there would be no one left to bring her home- and Nanami refused to be a burden. Not now, not ever. She only had herself to rely on. The beast inside her snarled and she felt It in her chest, welling up with the call for blood. Ready for the fight. Its voice always sounded like Hidan’s; gleeful and more than a little unhinged.

Sasuke’s grip on his chokuto shifted, and his blood lust rose in kind to match hers. It wasn’t helping her control any.

Orochimaru demeanor changed as he smoothly crossed his arms, his golden eye sharply focused on her. It was unnerving, and goosebumps shivered down her arms in response. This man was such a fucking creep.

“Hou... Is that so.” He hissed quietly, a sickly sweet smile splitting his lips as he took in the boy again. Nanami didn’t like the way he looked at them. It wasn’t quite undressing with the eyes. It was worse than that, like he was peeling back their skin to inspect the inner workings of their flesh in a curious cold kind of way that said,  _ ‘There is no other reason than; because I can.’ _

The young Uchiha held her to him with one arm, the other gripping his chokuto with white knuckles. He was plaint and vacant inside her kekkei genkai, expressionless in the face of his master; but Nanami knew better. She could feel the turmoil inside him like hot lava warring with the desire to flee and the need to slice the sannin into tiny, incomprehensible pieces. It was an identical echo to how she felt.

Nanami flared a thought through their link,  _ can you get past him? _

It was returned with a feeling of hesitancy. So, a maybe then. Probably not in an all out fight; which was exactly what the rational voice inside her (the one that sounded like Kakuzu) wanted to avoid at all costs. 

She may not know Sasuke very well, but he was precious to Itachi. So by proxy she supposed he would fit into her little circle somewhere. Nanami had a lot of love to give, and she wasn’t stingy. She wanted to avoid throwing Sasuke into a battle she knew he couldn’t win. At least, not yet. If the timeline went according to what she remembered, Orochimaru would be dead by Bitter Wing’s hand within another year.

Right now though, they needed to focus on not dying.

Orochimaru shifted in front of them, taking on a more aggressive posture, and Nanami registered this despite the two familiar chakra signatures that pinged onto her mental map. They were not extremely close, but not exactly far away either. She must have been too preoccupied to notice them sooner because she knew her range was better than that.

Something uncoiled in her belly, just enough for relief to play at the edges of the multitude of more pressing emotions. Sasuke absorbed the feeling through their link, and it bounced back towards her as he responded in kind. He was just as relieved as she was at the new arrivals, and Nanami chewed at her bottom lip with sharp teeth nervously. He definitely shouldn’t feel  _ relieved _ knowing his  _ brother _ was coming. 

Damn, she really screwed him up.

Orochimaru twitched subtly. The smallest movement in his fingers that displayed his agitation. The purple cat eye-liner narrowed with his eyes, and she could absolutely see why everyone thought this man was so menacing.

He was creepy, and powerful, and he lacked moral constraints and was practically immortal with his  _ ‘I’ll just vomit up a new body’ _ jutsu or whatever he called it, and all of that wasn’t even touching on how awful his killing intent was on its own.

She didn’t have long to think about it, their few moments of silent tension came to a sudden end when she found the sannin was  _ right in front of them. _

“Fuck!” She yelped, squeezing Sasuke’s shoulders and just barely ducking beneath a swipe that was specifically aimed at her head. She felt the air displace and her hair fly up in the wake of his strike. Her eyes widened at the realization that if that had landed, her skull would like like a caved in pumpkin. It was not a pleasant thought. 

Her perch leapt backwards in response and landed a fair distance away. But that alone wouldn’t do much good. Chakra crackled in the air, hot and furious from the two missing-nin. Sasuke growled low in his throat, his killing intent spiked and he rushed around the man in a wide circle. 

Orochimaru stood in place, carefully turning to follow their lightning fast movements with an indulgent smile on his face. His face really pissed her off. Like he was a parent watching his toddler take their first steps instead of someone engaged in a life or death battle.

It only served to remind her of the league's between her abilities and his. They weren’t even playing the same game. If it wasn’t for Sasuke’s presence between them, she was sure she would already be dead. Or severely incapacitated.

Sasuke brace his knees, chakra pooling into his legs and he jumped, higher than she could probably jump, with the aid of chakra laiden feet and she clung to him like her life depended on it.

Well, it did.

He kicked off the side of a pillar and it  _ cracked  _ with a harsh grating sound that was almost as loud as the explosion Orochimaru’s men had set off.

They shot backwards through the air with the momentum and he bounced off another pillar to slow their decent even as the first column crashed into another, and then another; like dominos they came down.

There was dust and debris everywhere.

Damn, and Sasuke hadn’t even used a technique. He’d just… kicked it.

He moved like he was dancing, around and under and over the falling city of pillars around them. 

“You are beginning to irritate me little girl.” A sickly sweet voice hissed in her ear and the next thing she knew her breath had left her lungs and she and Sasuke were flying across the room from a sucker punch that would have killed a lesser being. There was a horrible pressure between her shoulder blades, a burning sensation lingered where the man had landed his blow.

They slammed into a wall together, barely avoiding getting clipped by a pillar that was rolling off the side of another. She felt more than saw when Sasuke’s head bounced off the stone and she would have winced in sympathy if she hadn’t been so preoccupied with the way her legs felt like they were melting into jelly.

She really, really hoped her spine wasn’t broken.

The Uchiha grunted on impact and she wheezed and coughed as she slid down his back, her grip lost.

He turned in a swift swinging motion, and how he managed to recover from a blow like that so quickly was completely lost on her. Maybe it was muscle memory. Maybe it was her kekkei genkai propelling his actions. She wasn’t sure.

Sasuke’s shadow cast over her crumpled body as she too, attempted to regain her feet. He shuffled back a step, his bulk pressing her between the wall and his form.

Nanami coughed again, a harsh raw sound. She didn’t think anything was broken because she was sure if it was she would be in a whole lot more agony- but hell if it didn’t  _ hurt. _

And then Sasuke went unnaturally still, and Nanami groaned as his emotions struck her heavy and damn near overpowering in their intensity.

It was the complete opposite of the vengeful rage she knew he should be feeling.

Shit.

“Little brother.” A very familiar, apathetic voice intoned, somehow resoundingly loud despite his soft pitch. There was a deep chuckle that followed and Nanami put more effort into scrambling back up. She used the back of Sasuke's shirt as leverage, pulling and tugging as she fruitlessly attempted to convince her legs to work. 

“Where’s Nanami brat?” She heard Oceans, followed by a pissed off hissing noise from the sannin who was practically pinning them to the wall with just his presence alone a few steps away.

Nanami felt Bitter Wings’s confusion for a moment, and she realized he had no idea what her name was. Regardless, she reaffirmed their link quickly before something awful happened. In response she saw a small sliver of his sword leave it’s sheath, leveraged out with the pad of his thumb, and it glinted with the promise of bloodshed in the torch light.

“Here” She called from behind Sasuke, but it sounded more like a breathless croak.

Sasuke’s turned to look at her and she saw for the first time that his sharingan was awake, his now visible pupils blow wide and glassy despite his doujutsu’s mad spinning. Blood was seeping from his hairline and down his cheek where he’d hit his head on the stone. He crouched low, feet braced against the floor ready to spring at a moments notice and Nanami quickly regained her perch; which she was thankful for since apparently standing was going to be difficult at the moment.

He rose again, feet sliding back apart to balance her added weight in a battle ready stance and Nanami blinked a few time to dislodge the dust from her eyelashes. Sasuke drew the rest of his short sword without prompting and it rang loudly in the space between occupants; his attention firmly on the actual threat instead of his brother. The brother he had sworn on his life to murder- the whole reason he was with the sannin to begin with.

The unusual behavior wasn’t missed.

Oceans and Raven Eyes stood casually atop a pile of fallen pillars, and Nanami caught the strange look they shared. 

They played a fierce image, red cloud cloaks billowing around them as they stood amongst the dust and ruin as if they blonged right where they stood. The chakra of their killing intent was familiar to her, and she felt a swell of pride in knowing that it easily overpowered Orochimaru’s. Samehada was held in a loose grip that belied Ocean’s readiness, and Itachi’s sharingan was swirling rapidly in the dim light at the larger man’s side.

Itachi caught her eyes, and although he looked blank she knew the kind of thoughts that were probably bouncing around in his head.

Ocean’s had no such qualms however. “What’d you do to the kid?” He laughed uproariously as if there wasn’t a very pissed off snake man gritting his teeth between them.

Orochimaru twitched again, but seemed hesitant to put his back to the newcomers in the room.

“Uhm.” She hedged, glancing at Sasuke’s slack face and hugely blown pupils inside his swirling sharingan from over his shoulder.

“I’m not actually… uh, sure.” Which was true, she was mostly running off assumptions and rough guesses. 

Kisame laughed harder.

“ _ Enough.” _ Orochimaru snapped as he took a single, careful step backwards, away from the Akatsuki and towards the rear exit of the massive room they had initially been headed towards.

If he had been a cat instead of a snake she was sure his hackles would be on end. The scales were tipped out of his favor now- Itachi had beaten him once before, with a sure swiftness that spoke of the league's between the sannin and the Uchiha prodigy. 

He’d lost an arm in that confrontation, and Kisame hadn't even been there at the time. Or her. Or Sasuke who was familiar with his fighting style, and currently not in the state of mind to feel cooperative with his sensei. Or whatever the younger Uchiha addressed the man as.

He might be a sannin, but he could still feel pain- and they could in the very least put him out of comission for a while. Given enough time and the right strategy she was sure they could kill him too.

Orochimaru made an ugly sound, somewhere between spitting and growling.

Nanami watched his golden animal slit eyes flick over to Sasuke with a calculating look, and she supposed he was wondering if he was going to have to cut his loses and run.

The sannin had put a lot of work into the youngest Uchiha. Years of careful planning and manipulations. She knew he would be loath to leave the boy behind in anyone else’s clutches. Not that Nanami would ever force Sasuke to stay, but Orochimaru didn’t know that.

His plans for her in contrast (whatever they had been) had all fallen into a glorious pile of shit, and she felt the corner of her lips twitch in wry amusement. Maybe he’d think twice next time before weighing the benefits of trying to steal something that belonged to a group of S-class missing-nin.

“Itachi-kun, Hoshigaki-san, come for your little pet have you?” He said cordially as if his mind wasn’t whirling through plans and options like she knew it probably was.

Kisame chuckled. “That’s right, looks like you two have had quite the party while we were away.” 

“Quite.” Orochimaru parroted, only when he said it, it had a blatant scathing quality like he couldn’t possibly feel anymore disgusted by the notion.

“Hm.” Was all Itachi had to say, his dark eyes roving around the demolished room like he couldn’t care less.

“Well.” The sannin hissed, taking another step backwards. No one moved, no one even twitched. His golden eyes flashed back over to Sasuke for a split second, and then landed on her.

His chakra flared in aggravation when their eyes met. “I suppose I’ll be taking my leave then.” 

And just like that, he was gone. Nanami wondered if she’d blinked without realizing it. Raven Eyes, though, looked as unimpressed as always, his dark gaze tracking something through the shadows that she couldn’t see herself.

Nanami hesitated to relax. It couldn’t possibly be that easy… right? Her eyes narrowed contemplatively. 

Sasuke’s stance shifted slightly, and he seemed to revert to an even emptier state inside her kekkei genkai as the immediate threat was apparently gone and he lacked orders.

So she told him calm, and patience. He took her nudges without complaint.

“So, what’s with the kid.” Oceans asked as he hopped off the pile of toppled pillars. Dust rose around his feet when he landed. She noticed his hand still hadn’t left Samehada’s hilt, and silver eyes watched Sasuke carefully as if he was expecting the boy to lash out at any moment.

Which was a completely reasonable assumption when Sasuke was involved most of the time.

“About that…” She hedged again.


	39. Anathema (Ambivalent)

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Anathema (Ambivalent)

This Chapter was Beta-ed by the beautiful Wistfuldaydream

“I woke; cold and alone, adrift in the open sea. Caught up in regrets, and tangled in nets instead of your arms wrapped around me. And I wept, but my tears are anathema here; just more water to fill my lungs.” -Thrice, Digital Sea

* * *

 

Nanami sat in the slightly damp grass attempting to rub some feeling back into her legs. It felt like they were asleep with that awful pins and needles sensation stabbing her muscles. She scrunched her toes together and wrinkled her nose at the subsequently uncomfortable ticklish feeling. The bandages wrapped tightly around the arches of her feet were probably a write off, so she started unwrapping them and did her best to ignore the various substances that stained the fabric. Cell slime, blood in various states of drying, stone-dust, gross shit, other things she probably didn’t want to know or think about. 

Ew.

Sasuke crouched next to her, his forearms resting on his bent knees watching with an absent, dreamy look on his face. The morning light played softly across his features, his slightly blood dampened bangs swayed in the breeze.

His sharingan was gone, but his eyes remained glassy. He looked... peaceful- if you ignored the drying crimson liquid that had poured down one side of his face from his hairline. As it was, Nanami wasn’t unfamiliar with the sight; Loud Blood was always at his most content while revelling in a condition that could politely be called ‘an absolute wreck.’ 

Itachi shifted uncomfortably, before seemingly making his decision and approaching his little brother. There was a weariness to his steps, and he met her eyes over the high collar of his cloak with a blank expression that belied the tangled mess of feelings she was sure he was attempting to sort through.

Itachi crouched next to Sasuke, and reached out a tentative hand to turn the boy’s face towards him so he could get a better look at his vacant eyes. It stuck Nanami that this was probably the first time in years that Itachi had reached out to touch his brother with something other than violence.

Sasuke didn’t flinch, but he did blink languidly. Oceans chuckled again from where he stood leaning against a tree in a swath of soft sunlight cresting over a distant hill. She liked the way the light made his silver eyes glow, the way it glinted off his slashed forehead protector.

Actually, she just liked everything about Oceans.

Kisame thought this entire thing was good entertainment, (like he did for most things) and it wasn’t lost on him that Itachi  _ supposedly _ hated his sibling. And yet here he was, displaying what could loosely be construed as a careful, yet tentative examination of the his little brother’s health.

Oceans would probably tease him about it later in private, but Nanami knew the Kiri missing-nin kept his partner’s secretes with a vengeance. Even she wasn’t sure if he knew Itachi’s whole story or not. She thought he might; but Kisame would never tell and she would never ask.

Nanami wouldn’t exactly say that Raven Eyes and Oceans were friends, that word didn’t really apply to any of her Red Clouds- but they all tolerated each other with a sort of… fondness; if you knew where to look.

Itachi tilted his little brother’s head to the side, and Sasuke’s bangs slid sideways with the motion as he got a better look at the curse seal marks inked starkly across his neck

“How did you bring him to this state?” Raven Eyes asked tersely. Nanami held back a wince. She hadn’t meant to put Raven Eyes in this position, but here they were regardless. She turned to uncoil the slimey bandages away from her other foot as a distraction. She knew it must be difficult for him to be so close to his brother, especially after so many years of forcing a persona that wasn’t really anything like who he actually was. 

(Sometimes she wondered if it ever became difficult for him to remember who he was. Was he the blood thirsty missing-nin hell bent on torturing his sibling- or the soft pacifist born into a world built on war and death who made a choice once that was so fundamentally against everything he believed and had hoped for. All for the sake of the village. For the sake of his brother; but she supposed if she had been in his position she wouldn’t want to remember who she really was either.)

Everything Raven Eyes had done was in the name of pushing his little brother towards his potential. So that Sasuke, in the end, would relieve him from his tortured life. Because Itachi had done horrible things for this boy. Committed terrible crimes. 

It was the  _ least _ Bitter Wings could do; and Nanami felt a horrid sinking sensation when she realized she really did think that. She blinked harshly at nothing, hands going still in their careful task.

Raven Eyes… Itachi had destroyed his own life right along with his families, shredded every scrap of potential happiness he might ever have and replaced it with guilt. Heavy, burdening, never ending guilt that ate away at him every moment of every day- and still he didn’t break. He waited patiently for the day his brother would come and cleanse his guilt with blood and ash. Sasuke needed to kill Itachi, just as much as Itachi needed Sasuke to kill him.

At least, that’s how it was before she’d gone and stuck her clumsy self in the middle of that dynamic. Nanami chewed her already sore lower lip and doubted. She doubted her choices and she wondered darkly;

_ Was it worth it? _

She didn’t meet his eyes when she replied, slowly realizing she had been sitting quietly for far too long.

“His seal is made from nature chakra, I…” She paused, debating if she should word it softly, but discarded the notion in the end. She would never be anything but completely upfront with her Red Clouds, they were her purpose, she would never lie to them. “I tapped into it, and took control of him. I couldn’t get out on my own.” She admitted.

Kisame gave her a strange look with beautiful silver eyes and sharp teeth poking out from the corners of his lopsided grin. His presence was a comforting thing for her.

“I knew you missed Sasori, but I don’t think we need another puppet master Nanami.” She blinked widening doe brown eyes at him as the words registered.

“Oh, that… I didn’t really make that connection...” She trailed off, her hands resuming their slow moving progress of unraveling dirty, questionably stained bandages.

Kisame snorted rudely, but didn’t add anything else.

“Can you release him?” Itachi brought her attention back over to the siblings.

She nodded slowly, carefully. “I think so.” She added to be clear.

His return nod was clipped, and he stood back up to his full height and backed up a couple of steps. Sasuke’s eyes tracked his movements expressionlessly, as if something inside of him recognized his brother, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel or do anything about it.

Nanami tugged away the last of her bandages and left them on the ground in a heap. She wasn’t going to try to salvage them anyways.

Her shoulders slumped slightly, feeling exhausted as she turned to face Sasuke. She trapped a sigh behind her teeth, and pinched the bridge of her nose between dirty little fingers to try and alleviate the stress induced ache that had formed behind her eyes. 

She was going to sleep for days after this. First she needed a bath though. Her once black cloak was now dusted in grey; ash sloughing off of her in clouds- her hair was in a similar state as well. Nanami was sure she smelled like one of Hidan’s rituals; bonfire and smoke layered under the thick irony tang of blood. 

Sasuke’s balance swayed backwards purposefully so he could sit as well; it was a graceful motion for being so haphazard. 

Nanami noticed, now that they weren’t running for their lives, that the boy was much taller than she was. He sat straight in a way that told her he probably always had good posture like this. (Maybe it was a clan thing? Raven Eyes also had good posture.) Nanami didn’t know any other children her age, but she thought that for an eight year old she might be on the small side. All she had for comparison were grown men though, so it probably wasn’t a fair assumption. As it was, even with both of them sitting Bitter Wings had to look down to make eye contact with her.

Sasuke was hardly a boy anymore though. He was what… fifteen? Old enough to kill, old enough to plot fratricide… well, none of that mattered right now.

Nanami settled a bit, calmed her breathing and reached out with ambient chakra to brush it along Sasuke’s, who was sitting so close her knees were almost brushing his calves.

She pulled at the chakra tangled inside of his, weaving it out and around in an attempt to unknot it where it had become heavily bunched together inside his seal. A frown tugged at the corner of her lips, and she allowed herself to chew at her lower lip again with sharp little teeth as she concentrated.

In some places her chakra and his hadn’t melded together very well, mostly the places that were more Sasuke’s chakra than nature chakra. So it was just a little tangled up but it came away without too much of a fuss. In other places though, like around and inside of his seal where the nature chakra was heavier; she could barely even tell the difference between hers and his anymore. She made a small, frustrated sound in the back of her throat as she attempted to separate herself from him.

It didn’t want to go.

It might be easier if there was more direct skin contact-

And Sasuke was moving then; his hands coming up from his lap to snatch her wrists in a loose grip that was at odds with how quickly he’d moved. Kisame shifted aggressively, his hand moving to grip Samehada’s hilt in a practiced response to the seemingly unprompted hostility on Sasuke’s part.

Itachi just stood calmly a few steps away, the tall grass dancing in the breeze around his sandal clad feet. His attention firmly in place on his little brother with apathetic eyes.

“It’s alright.” She murmured for Oceans distractedly. “He’s only responding to me.” 

Kisame grunted, but didn’t let go of his sentient sword. Itachi said nothing, didn’t even twitch.

The skin contact did seem to help a little, but the process was slow going. Her constant reaffirmation of their link had done nothing to ease the clean removal she was now attempting; but to be fair- at the time, she hadn’t really been considering how easy or difficult it would be to release him. 

Surviving Orochimaru’s den had taken precedence, although she had considered the repercussions of what their link might do to him. She felt her eye twitch at that thought.

If she could get them untangled, she supposed they were about to find out.

A chunk of her chakra came away after a few minutes worth of effort, it wasn’t a clean removal at all, and wisps of chakra remained firmly entrenched inside his seal- but it was apparently enough for the scrawling ink to burn a bright red and begin to recede.

“Oh, shit. Wait, I’m not done yet-” She wasn’t aware she’d said it out loud till Kisame started chuckling again. She dimly registered the returned “Spending too much time with that religious nutcase.” 

She felt it when Sasuke’s consciousness rose to the forefront. What little of their link that remained informed her of his state of mind; the emotional turmoil roiling behind his eyes. Eyes so much like his brothers.

Sasuke was deeply confused.

He blinked sleepily, his dark eyes taking on that bit of sharpness that confirmed he was aware again. He looked down to where his hands wrapped around her tiny wrists and his brow furrowed. Not in anger, mostly just in uncertainty.

He looked back up at her, and she could read the questions flying through his mind. Sasuke was awake, but he was still not quite himself right now. Maybe… maybe he would never be the man he was before he had come into contact with her again.

That was… an unsettling thought.

“Little brother.” Nanami’s left canine bit harshly into her lip at Raven Eye’s tone. All cold and condescending, playing the role he had created for himself. She didn’t like the way he sounded, but she understood why he was doing it. 

Sasuke blinked at her again, his eyes holding hers for only a moment longer as he explored the remnants of the link between them. 

He turned slowly, to look up at Itachi. His posture stiffened slightly, and Nanami registered the contrasting emotions flying through him.

Longing, hurt, pain, desperation, love… guilt.

And most of all, dominating over the clamor of thoughts and feelings was confusion. Sasuke was so, deeply confused about how he felt about the sight of his brother right now that his mind was on the verge of shutting down.

His understanding of his place, and his brothers place in his life had been upheaved by the addition of Nanami’s thoughts, emotions and personality into his psyche. And now he was aware once again but there was no certainty within him. He was a million shattered little pieces of Sasuke, and his thoughts jumbled and rolled as he ineffectively attempted to fit himself back together.

Nanami knew, without a doubt, that it was going to take much, much longer than a few days to fix the hot mess of a person that she had left him.

Instead of shutting down like she had been sure he was about to do, a sort of... regression occurred. Nanami sucked in a harsh breath as his childlike feelings crawled through their tattered link. They were the strongest he had inside him, the part of him that was the most sure of how it felt about his brother; the part of him that was still a six year old boy.

There was something to be said for the surety of a child’s understanding of the world around them, and Nanami, more than anyone else present, understood what it was like. She was only eight after all. (Physically at least. Mentally was anyone’s best guess. Sometimes she felt eight, sometimes she felt… older. Much older.)

“Aniki?” Sasuke breathed the word, and oh, gods. He sounded so _ lost _ .

The split second that followed was filled with a silence so heavy it almost felt like a solid weight pressing in on her. Itachi took one sharp step backwards and a look crossed his face like he’d been slapped. It was gone just as quickly as it had come, and she watched from the corner of her eye as he forced himself to relax.

Fucking hell.

Nanami wanted to rub her temples at the absolute mess this was turning into, but Sasuke held her hands firm underneath his as he attempted to sort and process the shattered remains of what he had once considered himself.

His mind shifted again, a new piece of himself taking hold in a sensation that made her uncomfortable and a bit nauseated. (It wasn’t lost on her that what was going on in his head was basically the definition of insanity.) She only hoped he would settle into some semblance of who he was supposed to be.

It was quiet for three, very tense heartbeats.

Sasuke turned on her and  _ snarled,  _ eyes burning and mouth twisting into something ugly and distinctly unpleasant. “What did you  _ do.” _ Her eyes widened and she tugged at her hands but he held firm- tighter even, enough for her to feel the strain in the bone.

Sasuke stood, dragging her with him and Nanami stumbled to her feet. Sasuke though, was much taller than her and as his arms brought her up, her feet left the ground.

She squeaked in surprise and kicked at the air until the flat of her foot made contact with his chest hard enough to make him wheeze, but his grip only tightened with her struggles. 

He let go of her left wrist leaving her hanging by one arm and her now free hand came up to dig bloody furrows into his skin with sharp little nails. The sound of his chokuto leaving its sheath rang through the air and seared through her mind.

His eyes were dark pools of hatred, confusion and rage, all of it intensely focused on  _ her. _ (On Sasuke’s behalf, her mind whispered, it really was her fault.)

“ _ Move.” _ Ocean’s voice snapped through the air, harsh and grating, lacking that edge of laughter that always told her if she were to look his lips would be curled in amusement.

Oceans was not amused.

She blinked, finding herself suddenly torn away from the youngest Uchiha, his features were a mask of absolute rage (A part of her was so,  _ so _ relieved by the display.) as Kisame’s familiar presence snatched her from the boy and leapt backwards to put distance between them. 

She gripped Ocean’s forearm with both hands, the black fabric of his cloak bunching beneath little fists as she attempted to leverage herself upwards on instinct. Kisame was unmovable, his arm across her middle like a steel bar.  

She blinked again to find both Samehada and Itachi between her and Sasuke. It didn’t matter though; she didn’t need to see his expressions because she could still feel a whisper of him through what remained of the link. 

He was incensed.

Sasuke made a strangled spitting sound like a pissed off cat, his eyes holding hers over his brother’s shoulder and beyond Samehada’s bulk.

And then his eyes slid to meet Itachi’s and he  _ flinched. _

He took a step back, hesitant, and she saw his grip loosen and tremble around the hilt of his sword. His sharingan flared to life behind long lashes and Nanami found herself being let down to touch soft grass with her bare feet and guided with a large grey hand to stand behind Ocean’s bulk so he could shield her from making eye contact with the young Uchiha.

(It was probably for the best, she had none of the instinctual aversion to the spinning red tomoe that pretty much everyone else had. Raven Eyes was all she’d ever known, and he had never once turned his sharingan on her; not even in spars. The sight of it whispered words of  _ safety _ rather than  _ danger _ on a base level for her. Unless, of course, you paired it with an ugly swirling orange mask; then it just made her edgy and nervous.) 

Raven Eye’s continued to keep his silence. She wondered if it was because he had nothing to say, or if he hadn’t found his voice yet.

For the first time Nanami found herself wishing she had a weapon. It was a weird, and probably inappropriate moment- out of all the moments she’d been through tonight to think that  _ now;  _ but the thought was mostly motivated by how empty her hands felt. Standing behind Kisame and Samehada with Raven Eyes somewhere past them; she felt useless. In the very least, she just wanted to feel the weight of something in her hands to distract her.

She’d ask Kakuzu or Hidan about it later.

Ocean’s made a strange, annoyed grunting sound and turned, silver eyes flashing in the low light to catch hers.

“Let’s move on Nanami.” 

She opened her mouth to protest, but caught sight of the subtle tension of Raven Eyes’ shoulders past Kisame and her teeth snapped shut with an unpleasant click. Kisame knew on some level, just like she did, that Raven Eyes wanted to be alone with his brother to mop up the mess she’d made of him.

Nanami held Oceans’ silver eyes from her much small vantage point and nodded slowly. His lips twitched upwards, humored by something she was sure. She turned, confident to have her brothers at her back even in the presence of a hostile, and tried hard not to think about the unpleasant twinge in her chest from having to place Bitter Wings in that category.

She knew this would happen. It would have been unrealistic to expect any other outcome really.

“See you at home.” She called over her shoulder without looking and an absent minded wave. She didn’t want to look at Sasuke right now, she felt too guilty.


	40. Three Sheets to the Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **AN: For the purpose of this chapter: “English is in italics” If spoken by Nanami.**

 

Chapter Forty: Three Sheets to the Wind

This chapter was Beta-ed by: Wistfuldaydream, who has been everlastingly patient with me and nothing but supportive with my crazy ideas.

“We’re definitely going to hell, but we’ll have all the best stories to tell.”

* * *

It was starting to make him twitch. Not that he was a patient creature by nature to begin with, but the ticking had gone from being readily ignored, to a rhythmic background noise and had now settled into his brain as a constant jarring nuisance.

Tick

Tick

**Tick**

He counted every third tick as having a slightly different sound from the first two. An uncomfortable, slightly louder turn of the gears that clicked into place with a sound that was too damn final but somehow managed to start over again and just keep ticking.

He fidgeted in his seat, waiting, and snuck a quick glance to his right at the sound of a page turning followed by Kakashi’s high pitched giggle. On his left, Sakura sighed.

The hallway in front of Tsunade’s office was dead quiet, except of course, for the incessant ticking.

“I hate that clock.” Sakura voiced his thoughts with a heated glare at the inanimate object hanging on the wall across from them. It read 7:56am; Naruto and Sakura had now been here for over an hour, and Kakashi almost fifteen minutes.

“Hmm.” Their teacher added to the stilted conversation distractedly with another turn of the page.

Tick

Tick

 **Ti** _-_

Its internal gears made a hearty attempt to turn once more, but found itself unable to with Sakura’s well cared for kunai now embedded firmly in its face. He hadn’t even seen her move.

The ensuing silence was complete and heavy; it made the pulse in his ears seems loud.

“What’s taking so long.” Naruto couldn’t help but whine, and the tone came out more obnoxious than he had meant, his efforts rewarded with a heated look from his pink haired teammate. The door to the Hokage’s office swung open with a bang, slamming into the wall and interrupting whatever snappy thing he was sure Sakura was about to lash him with.

Tsunade stood in the doorway, hands on her hips looking both hungover and pissed off. That was pretty normal.

“Get in here.” She snapped at them, and Naruto didn’t need to be told twice- this time. He was up and bouncing from his seat, eager to get this impromptu meeting over as soon as possible and go have lunch at his favorite ramen stand.

Sakura and Kakashi followed at a more sedate pace, because unlike Naruto the other two members of Team Seven could sense bad news like it was wearing the aforementioned blonds searingly bright orange jacket.

“Right.” Tsunade huffed aggravatedly as she leaned against the front of her desk with her arms folded.

Kakashi and Sakura exchanged a quick glance at the lack of formality. Their Hokage was usually pretty big on throwing her weight around- especially if Naruto was in the room. As if she was trying to make up for his glaring lack of respect.

“I have an updated report on Sasuke.”

And of course Naruto had to interrupt. “Where is he? Are we sending a team?” Blue eyes bright but serious, his tone not quite begging but close. Tsunade hadn’t approved any retrieval teams in months. No point in bringing him back if he’s just going to leave again, she had reasoned much to Naruto’s dismay. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, Tsunade had very unpleasant first hand experience with that particular life lesson.

The Godaime scowled fiercely at the young blond. “Shut up and let me finish.” Which was punctuated by Sakura’s fist coming down on his head.

“Now is not the time Naruto.” The pinkette scolded him, and he had the manners to at least look slightly abashed.

Kakashi shifted from one foot to the other, but didn’t say anything. His little orange book was now missing from his hands as he slouched forward, hands in his pockets and attention anywhere but on the occupants in the room. For anyone who knew where to look, it was clear that the last Hatake had taken an interest in the Hokage’s news.

It was silent again for a beat, the tension in everyone's body language rising.

Sasuke wasn’t exactly a comfortable subject.

“Reports of the Uchiha coincides with our most recent report on the Akatsuki brat.” Here she paused, waiting to see if she’d be interrupted again but Naruto only stood straighter with lips firmly pressed together.

“We don’t know much right now,” She continued. “Most of what we’ve gleaned is from the burning wreckage of one of Orochimaru’s underground bases.”

Someone’s breath hitched.

“Evidence supports that she was being held there, most likely against her will. It’s also clear that she left quite a mess on her way out. The Uchiha disappeared with her.”

“What?” Naruto spoke quietly, and was promptly ignored.

“It is unknown at this time if they are still together, or if the girl has returned to the Akatsuki. It’s being treated as a possibility that Sasuke may have joined their ranks. There are several teams on recon now- but only one thing is clear at this time.”

Sakura chewed her bottom lip, her hand somehow finding its way into Naruto’s, fingers threading for together comfort. He squeezed gently, and she returned the gesture. Tsunade pretended not to notice.

“Sasuke is no longer with Orochimaru.”

There was another beat of silence before:

“Why doesn’t he come home?” Sakura’s voice was smaller than she would have liked and Kakashi gave her a disappointed look.

It was quick; a flash of an expression, but she knew her sensei well enough to know what his disappointment looked like. She’d seen it more than a few times as a genin. It was the subtle shadow from down turned lips and the crinkle at the corner of his visible eye that said: _You’re smarter than this, Sakura._

The slight twist in her guts in response wasn’t unfamiliar either. It seemed it didn’t matter how many promotions she garnered, or how much she grew into an adult; the disappointment of authority figures always hit her the hardest.

Naruto’s fingers slipped from hers and he used the freed appendage to comb through wild blond locks.

“He’s probably still on about the whole revenge thing. If Nanami was there, chances are his brother might have shown up.” He said with a surprising amount of insight.

Tsunade nodded, “It’s a possibility.” Her words were halting at the end, and Sakura narrowed her eyes contemplatively. She could tell her shishou was withholding something.

Probably something important.

She said nothing though. Sakura was a trained shinobi, bound to her village to serve and she knew a classified secret when the space it should have been in was left empty.

“For now,” The Hokage said while rubbing her temples. The shadow her hand cast against her features made the dark circles under her eyes all the more obvious. “The search for the Uchiha is being reinstated. However, it is information gathering only, no retrieval until we know more. I’m not going to waste manpower on that idiot until we know it’s worth the risk to bring him in.”

“When do we leave.” Naruto spoke up.

“You aren’t.” She quipped, and continued before Naruto could start with his outbursts. “Hatake put together a four man cell and and see if you can track down Orochimaru’s whereabouts. Do not engage. Confirm the Uchiha isn’t with him.”

Kakashi nodded, keeping his continued silence.

“An intel team will be sent after Sasuke, and I’m sorry Naruto but you aren’t exactly… subtle. Join Hatake’s team if he’ll let you but for now that’s it. You’re dismissed.”

Tsunade moved around the back of her desk to rummage for some liquor while Naruto rounded on his old sensei who already had hands up in the universal ‘I surrender’ gesture.

* * *

“Aniki,” He seemed to hesitate, like the word tasted foul in his mouth and he started over. “Itachi,” calling him by his name didn’t seem to stop the imminent break down the elder Uchiha could see crumbling behind his eyes.

“Please don’t do this.” Sasuke seemed just as surprised by his words as Itachi felt, and the younger boy pressed on before he could think better of it. “I want to forgive you, I want to so badly.” The words were quiet, softly spoken and heavy with regret.

Itachi regretted too, he crumbled inside right along with his little brother because out of everything he felt he deserved, it certainly wasn’t forgiveness. How could he ever ask such a thing from Sasuke when he couldn’t even forgive himself? The idea that Sasuke even held that kind of sympathy towards him was so preposterous and outside the realm of what he had hoped for and all he had worked towards that he wasn’t sure how to respond. It was an unsettling feeling, the knowledge that he, for once, was at a loss.

Itachi needed to put a stop to this quickly, he needed to break his brother’s resolve.

He needed to ruin him all over again.

The self loathing that curled in his gut was not unfamiliar, and he welcomed it because his own emotional responses were at least normal enough.

Unlike Sasuke’s.

“Let me come with you.” Sasuke pleaded, the expression on his face was one that he had only ever seen from Nanami. Open, accepting, hopeful.

Itachi closed his eyes as he exhaled slowly, the wet rattle of his lungs only adding to his horrible determination.

Gods, he hated himself.

When he opened them again, just as slowly, Sasuke saw only hatred, and disgust reflected in their depths.

“ _Brother plea-”_

Itachi sat up quickly, bedsheets pooling around his middle. Kisame sat up at the same moment; kunai in hand and eyes scanning the room in response to his teammate’s sudden movements.

When he found nothing but Itachi’s sweaty, silently heaving form he made a small noise of irritation and lay back down without a word.

Itachi looked down at his side to find Nanami was gone and the space where she had been before he’d fallen asleep was cold.

It was the middle of the night, but Itachi wasn’t surprised. She hadn’t been sleeping well before their retrieval mission. He wasn’t at all surprised that nothing had changed. If anything, his own experience with battle trauma speaking, her insomnia was probably worse now.

It also didn’t escape his notice that she had managed to crawl out of the room without waking him.

He was either losing his touch or Nanami was growing.

He liked to think it was the latter. He leaned back into his pillow, and tried to think about anything but his brother and the conversation they had had.

It was the only battle Itachi was used to losing.

* * *

“Can’t sleep?” A voice sing-songed right into her ear and Nanami made a half-hearted attempt to swat at Swirly Face from where she lay on the couch.

The masked man plunked himself down unceremoniously on the space that was left on the edge of the cushion. Nanami was a small girl and she had managed to press herself pretty securely into the crevice where the back met the bottom cushions.

She gave him a flat look from beneath her forearm.

“I have just the thing!” He said excitedly, leaping up as if he hadn’t just sat down. He ran off, deft feet barely touching the floor, shot around the corner and up the stairs. She was sure he was probably waking up more than one person with all his banging around, and the flicker of irritated chakra signatures confirmed it.

She sat up slowly with a sigh and gazed absently out of the window for a moment. The sun was rising; the sky painted with pale pink and red hues.

Her early risers would be up soon, but Nanami didn’t feel much like getting up herself. Her ordeal with Orochimaru, and the aftermath of her meddling with Sasuke’s mind weighed heavily on her. All the stress she had so efficiently managed to box away during their escape was now finding the time to make its way to the forefront. She hadn’t been sleeping well since Sasori… now she just laid there, compromising with herself that if she couldn’t sleep she should at least be laying down.

It didn’t seem to make her feel any less exhausted though.

It was dark downstairs, only the dim light of predawn coming through the window. Her night adjusted eyes could clearly make out the shapes of furniture and doorways, but it was a strange thing to see it so devoid of life. Usually Echo-sama and Hummingbird would be up, sitting at the table and speaking in low voices about things they’d rather she not hear, things she really had no interest in hearing anyways. But this night had been different, the two had been absent from the common living space for the entirety of the night. Nanami had been alone with her thoughts until Swirly Face had shown up.

She wasn’t sure if she was annoyed or grateful by his sudden appearance. She decided on the latter, because it was the more pleasant emotion of the two.

There was a loud pop, sudden enough to startle her into jerking around to look at the source only to find Swirly Face holding a mug of something. She frowned, brows knitting.

It probably wasn’t tea, and if it was tea it must have been cold because it lacked the curl of stream. Was Tobi trying to feed her stale tea?

That was… kind of gross.

“Uhm?” She said intelligently as he skipped the couple of steps required to bring himself well within her personal space. That particular gambit in annoying her had lost its effect a while ago when she’d gotten used to it. Not that she had really needed to, Nanami had a strange sort of affinity for her Red Clouds and if any of them desired contact with her she wouldn’t complain- but that might just be the part of her that was touch starved talking.

He pressed the mug into her hands, and Nanami found herself staring down into its shadowed insides.

The liquid was clear, and it sloshed around in a circle, following the circumference of its container as it exchanged hands.

Tobi was watching her expectantly, and she felt the corner of her lips twitch in wry humor under his regard. He seemed a bit _intense_ , over one cup of… whatever this was.

She took a discreet sniff, only to find that the smell reminded her of something. It was a feeling that she understood meant that it was familiar to her- but not from this life. She took a sip, and immediately her face contorted like she’d taken a bite of a lemon. Swirly Face giggled loudly and hopped from one foot to the other like an excited toddler.

The liquid burned pleasantly; it ignited feelings and sensations that were familiar but not. She was sure she had had this drink before, but she didn’t know what it was called in this life.

She dimly recalled faces, being surrounded by people carrying red cups, laughing and cheering as they drank amber colored liquid together and loudly counted down from three in a single conglomeration of voices that was mostly a lot of slurring and incoherent yelling.

Nanami blinked away the vague images.

And then downed the rest of the mug before pushing it back into the startled Swirly Face’s gloved hands. He apparently hadn't been expecting her to actually finish drinking it.

Nanami coughed. “It’s like drinking fire.” She told him and he nodded vigorously, his short black hair swaying with the movement. She noticed that he was clutching the mug a little too tightly. Her brows furrowed again as the liquid settled heavily in her belly... her skin felt kind of hot.

“It wasn’t poisoned was it?” She ran a hand through her hair before tugging gently on a braid that held firm behind her ear.

Swirly Face tilted his head like a confused dog, his mask looking down at the mug in his hands before looking back up at her.

“Nope!” She could hear the pleased grin in his voice, the excitement the single word was drenched in and her frown deepened. Anything that got Tobi excited was probably bad news. Why had she thought it would be a good idea to drink it?

Oh, right. The weird nostalgia.

* * *

Hidan was not an early riser. In fact, he would even say he appreciated his sleep almost as much as he appreciated a good sacrifice. He liked the kind that pleaded a bit, struggled a bit more. But they all bled the same in the end. He felt his lips curl into a pleased, but cruel grin as he blinked open bleary eyes.

He wondered then what had woken him up to begin with, because if his body clock was anything to go by (and it usually really wasn’t) It felt very, very early.

A loud crash followed by something shattering sounded from beyond his door and he found himself sitting up before he could even register what was making the ruckus to begin with.

Ah, that sounded like Kakuzu yelling.

He closed his eyes again with a bleary yawn, and lazily burrowed back into his pillow.

And then bolted upright again at the realization that _Kakuzu was yelling._

Oh shit.

Two minutes later found Hidan hopping down the stairs on one leg while trying to jam the other into his pants. He managed to get them on as he hit the bottom landing, only to stop dead.

The shattered remains of what was once probably a coffee mug lay scattered in front of the stairs; the only reason he could tell was because the handle was left in a recognizable piece.

Itachi was sitting on the couch next to Nanami, who was babbling like a brook too quickly for him to catch the words. The interesting thing though was the way the Uchiha’s sharingan spun in its frantic swirl as he followed the movements of her lips. Odd.

Deidara hung over the back of the recliner with a wide grin and a low, constant chuckle.

In front of Deidara, like some kind of play being put on Kakuzu was attempting to dismember Tobi; who thought it would probably be better for his health if he kept dodging.

It was the most intelligent choice Hidan had ever seen Tobi make.

“What the fuck?” He announced himself politely. It was better to announce oneself than to sneak up on a room full of shinobi after all. Hidan had some fucking manners at least.

Itachi graced him with a quick glance, Nanami didn’t even seem to notice as she was apparently too engrossed in marveling over the fishnet that Itachi was wearing. The man was very patiently letting her twist his arms this way and that while she plucked and tugged at the steel wire hidden inside cloth.

Deidara turned, his grin never faltering for a moment. “Welcome to the party, un.” He laughed and Hidan sauntered his way into the room to crumple himself onto the floor in a heap at Nanami’s feet.

Her eyes alighted on his form, and she smiled like the sun.

Hidan blinked, surprised. Had she ever smiled like that before? He didn’t think so…

Really though, a better question was: had anyone ever smiled like that while he was anywhere near the vicinity at all?

He didn’t think so.

“Hidan!” She called cheerfully, even though she was sitting right next to him. “ _I remembered it’s called a Solo cup! They are the red ones that everyone drinks out of at parties.”_ She made a strange gesture, looking down at her own hands as if she was holding something only she could see.

Hidan blinked again. “What?”

“She is speaking a foreign language.” Itachi supplied to his dumbfounded look. Well, that explained the doujutsu if the Uchiha was trying to memorize the language.

“ _English_.” Kakuzu growled out and Itachi nodded as if that made perfect sense. A crumpled, Tobi shaped heap on the floor made a pathetic moaning sound, twitching in an attempt to sit up or stand but failing miserably.

“What’s wrong with her?” Hidan asked and then faltered at the smell of alcohol on her breath as she tackled him flat onto the floor. He let her, because he was a bit confused and hadn’t seen her bare her teeth in aggression yet.

Not that he’d be opposed to a fight if she wanted one.

“She’s drunk, un.” Deidara laughed and whether it was at Nanami’s predicament or Hidan’s as the young girl started running tiny fingers through his silver hair Hidan wasn’t sure.

Kisame came in from the kitchen, carrying a glass of water that looked particularly delicate in his grip. He set it down on the end table, silver eyes watching the young wildling as she accosted Hidan.

Nanami looked up at him with wide eyes and gasped. “ _I think I ate a shark once.”_ She admitted in a regretful tone, not that the man had any idea what she was talking about.

Her bottom lip wobbled a bit and Hidan froze in his attempts to remove her from his hair.

“ _It was really delicious.”_ She sobbed, still staring at the now thoroughly unnerved Kisame.

“I think it’s probably time to go lay down.” Itachi said into the ensuing silence, which was quickly broken by Deidara's wild laughter.

“You sound like her father.” He joked, and then sputtered out a weird sound when Itachi’s red swirling eyes caught his.

“Probably a good idea not to talk about family.” Kisame braved nonchalantly to Deidara who looked two seconds from having a violent outburst. Deidara really didn’t like Itachi, especially when the elder man was pinning him in place with his doujutsu.

_“I had a family once.”_

Itachi’s attention snapped back to the little girl so fast that the other occupants in the room couldn’t help but wonder what she had said- and whether or not Itachi had managed to figure out what she was saying to begin with.

 _“My brother looked kind of like_ Deidara... _I think. It’s hard to remember though.”_ She continued to babble along, her serene smile back on her lips as if it had never left. Deidara turned to look at her at the sound of his name.

“What the fuck is she going on about?” Hidan asked as he finally managed to pry her off of him. She relented to the Jashinist reluctantly, sitting herself down on the floor next to him. Nanami looked up at Itachi who was the only person in the room who seemed to follow anything she had to say.

Itachi didn’t answer Hidan for a long moment, before finally providing a stilted answer.

“Her family.”

Kisame blinked, his eyes sweeping across the room for a moment as he seemingly catalogued its occupants. “Us?” He asked, curious now as to what she had to say.

“No.” Itachi shot him down.

It was another beat before the occupants all seemed to come to the same conclusion.

_What other family did she have?_

* * *

Tsunade sighed, and rubbed at her temples with her pen-free hand. Said pen was busy tapping an impatient rhythm against her desk.

The whole situation was a mess, and not for the first time since she had taken over the position of Hokage did she wish that it was someone else’s mess to deal with.

A sharp knock rapped at her door. “Come in.” She prompted, ready to get this over with. Or, in the very least, get the ball rolling so it could be over with sooner rather than later.

Sarutobi Asuma entered, followed by his no-longer genin team. The blond girl had a harsh scowl on her face as she snatch a bag of chips from the young Akimichi who scowled right back at her in return. The young Nara had the same casual lazy slouch his sensei did, but his dark eyes were sharp and aware as he watch her tap her pen against her desk.

“Hokage-sama.” Asuma greeted her. She could smell the cigaret smoke on him from where she sat, and it was with a great amount of difficulty that she managed not to wrinkle her nose.

It only soured her mood further though.

“Team Ten.” She snapped, and all eyes were on her in an instant, all bickering and lazy body language forgotten.

They were the most cohesive team of all the rookies, and the fact that they specialized in information gathering only made her feel more sure of sending them on this task.

“Congratulations,” She continued with no small amount of sarcasm. Damn, she really needed a drink. The shinobi before her only stiffed further.

“Tsunade-sama?” Asuma questioned with trepidation.

“If I’m not mistaken,” She said, catching the young Nara’s eyes, “This will be your team's first A-rank mission.”

* * *

Nanami tilted dangerously as Itachi set her down on his bed. Her arm came up on reflex to steady herself against the wall and she shook her head back and forth with the quiet ring of the little bell on her braid.

When she looked back up at him, Itachi didn’t miss the way her pupils were blown wide. She blinked as if that alone could clear her mind. She made a small, distressed sort of sound in the back of her throat and Deidara took a few swift steps into the room past Itachi to sit on his bed beside her. He was slightly relieved that the younger blond man had taken the position although he would never say as much aloud. This sort of thing was far out of his comfort zone- not to say that it was within any of the Akatsuki’s repertoire of skills; but the younger man was by far better at dealing with a soft Nanami than himself.

She made an aborted gesture to reach for the blond that neither of the men missed. Itachi felt a small amount of relief at the gesture because it was so like her. Nanami, the little girl who had never acted like a little girl. Clearly craving comfort and attention as any child would but with a mind sharp enough to know that seeking it from them would be folly.

Deidara placed a hesitant, awkward hand on top of her head to stroke down the length of her hair and she blinked again, lips parting to let out an unsteady breath.

“So.” Hidan prompted as he too came in, sitting down on Kisame’s bed with folded arms.

Itachi came to the understanding that it was about to become crowded in his room when Kakuzu came in next, leaning against the wall with folded arms and a blank look on his face; as if he couldn’t care less what was going on. The fact that he had followed them up alone didn’t lend a lot of credence to that though.

Nanami mumbled something, and her body tilted into Deidara. He stiffed at the contact on reflex before forcing himself to relax.

It was only Nanami after all.

“Un.” He grunted in agreement with the prompt.

“Once,” Nanami said, and then she shook her head again as if trying to get a grip on herself. It seemed she was unsuccessful and Itachi wasn’t surprised. She had consumed quite a lot of alcohol for someone of her stature.

 _“Before I was_ Nanami _, I was someone else.”_

Itachi’s breath hitched, his sharingan swirling faster in an attempt to keep up with the language that seemed to come to her easier in her state of inebriation.

“Why the fuck does she keep speaking that-” Hidan made an agitated gesture, probably reaching for the word he couldn’t remember. Kakuzu did not make a habit of repeating himself however, and wasn’t nice enough to remind him that the word he was looking for was _English._

Itachi was too stunned by Nanami’s words to even register than man had spoken, and Deidara didn’t miss the widening of the Uchiha’s eyes. He looked back and forth between the doujutsu user and the little girl as if trying to will the foreign words into something understandable with effort alone.

 _“I was swimming in the ocean, I’d done it so many times before I’m not sure why it was any different that time.”_ She continued in a rush a mixed look of panic and relief crossing her features.

“What the fuck is she saying.” Hidan griped and was promptly ignored as all eyes were focused on Nanami as she spoke; everyone with different reasons.

 _“I think I wanted to die.”_ She admitted in a whisper, her dark eyes meeting Itachi’s. Her pupils contracted to pin pricks. _“And then I was here,”_ She made a sweeping gesture across the room, but Itachi got the notion that she didn’t mean with the Akatsuki specifically.

 _“And I was a little girl again, it took me a while to figure it out…”_ She trailed off, looking up to meet Kisame’s eyes as the large man chose that moment to step into the room.

Something clicked into place for Itachi, memories and questions that had long ago been set aside but not forgotten arranging themselves into the correct order. Before him sat a little girl, who was in fact, not a little girl at all but seemed confused enough to be unsure at the difference. Her strange fixation on his partner, a man she insisted felt like the ocean.

The place she had _died._

Itachi’s thoughts churned, conclusions after conclusion clicking into place with solid snaps as his understanding of Nanami coalesced into something absolutely impossible but at least it finally made _sense._

“I think I’m _drunk.”_ She said, looking dazed. She looked up at Deidara in confusion, and then over at Kakuzu against the wall.

“Why’s everyone in here?” She slurred.

“Hah!” Hidan crowed, gained her attention. He pointed an accusing finger at her from his place on Kisame’s bed. “Speak Japanese for fucks sake no one can understand you!” He barked at her.

Nanami’s brows furrowed, and she brought a little hand up to rub at her forehead.

Deidara patted her head again and she looked up into his blue eyes. Turning seemed to upset her balance; she tilted precariously with the movement.

“Well?” Kakuzu spoke impatiently for the first time, acid green and red eyes glaring at Itachi.

Itachi returned the eye contact, unintimidated by the man. There was a drawn out pause as everyone waited for his answer and Nanami seemed to fight to stay awake.

“Some things are better left alone.” He finally murmured.

“Bullshit” Hidan barked petulantly. Kakuzu searched his eyes for a moment as the swirling red of the sharingan ebbed away leaving only back in its wake.

His mouth set in a grim line of displeased understanding, Kakuzu nodded curtly in acceptance and left the room with harsh steps and crossed arms.

Kakuzu, out of all of them, seemed to be the one most interested in doing what was best for _Nanami._ Itachi readily acknowledged this fact in the man’s behavior, although he didn’t have a clue why.

Perhaps the man had grown attached, but that was a hard idea for Itachi to grasp. He let go of the thought a moment later. What or how the other man felt was none of his business.

Deidara gave Nanami a gentle push into the mattress, and she went without complaint as her eyes slipped shut.

“So what that’s it? What a fucking waste of time.” Hidan stood from the bed, roughly pushing his way past the silent Kisame as he exited the room.

* * *

Tobi uncrossed his arms and leaned away from the wall. A frown tugged at his scarred lips. Well, that hadn’t been as informative as he had originally hoped, but perhaps he could find a way to wrangle the information from Itachi.

He almost scoffed at the thought; yea, that probably wasn’t going to happen. Not yet anyways.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AN has been cross posted from FF.net. All Fanart links are located on my Author Page there.
> 
> There is some new FanArt for this fic on my author page if anyone is interested in checking that out. I’m so happy that my story has inspired some really amazing drawings, really I’m beyond flattered at this point.
> 
> As always I’m all ears to any prompts or suggestions y’all might have for the filler/character development parts. I’d love to hear about the scenarios you’d like to see.
> 
> So on that last bit there with the Konoha-nin, I was originally going to go with S-rank, but after looking up what really qualifies for each classification on the NarutoWiki, I realized how sensationalized S-rank is by fanfiction. A-Ranks can be just as difficult as S, but the difference is usually in the pay, and the political atmosphere involved in the mission itself. So I decided to stay true to cannon on that point instead of over blowing it.
> 
> I tried to go with something a little lighter this chapter since the last few felt somewhat heavy to me. Don’t worry, it won’t be too long before things pick back up in the main story line again. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!


	41. I Fall, I Falter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke’s perspective has been purposefully written to be somewhat confusing, as this is basically the state he exists in right now.

Chapter Forty-One: I fall, I falter

“Now you speak of day old hate, though your whole world has gone up in flames. And isn’t it great to find your really worth nothing, and how safe it is to feel safe. So drown me if you can; or we could just have conversation. And I fall, I fall, I falter; but I’ll find you before I drift away.” -City and Colour

* * *

His clothing was uncomfortable, or perhaps it was his skin.

Long, pale fingers absently dug little furrows in the loamy soil in front of him.

He traced little shapes; faces, symbols, in a fidgety sort of gesture he hadn’t made since he was very young.

There was dirt under his nails.

Sasuke inhaled sharply through his nose and lifted his face from the ground to look up into the dark canopy above him. There were stars glittering between branches; unchanged and constant, appearing just as they always had for millennia.

The leaves made a soft sound in the wind, a sort of quiet hush that reminded him of mothers and-

He shook his head and ran a dirt stained hand through unruly hair. He made a gruff sound absently, something to fill his ears that wasn’t the never ending silence of the night and his jumbled thoughts about nothing.

There was a very good reason the youngest Uchiha had spent years trying to suppress his childhood memories. Some things were too painful to contemplate. 

Had he been anymore like that girl, he might have promised himself the time to look at them later, to contemplate his life and the joy he once had. The promises of a bright future and a loving family.

“But I’m not.” He reminded himself aloud, and the sound of it almost startled him. It was something he had been working through feverishly for a while now. He wasn’t sure how much time had past, but untangling his thoughts and feelings and trying to figure out which were his and which were hers was not a task that came easily.

Time was such a precious commodity at this point in his life; he had so much more he needed to improve on, so many things he needed to learn so he could- (his thoughts stuttered and cut off, halting in place in a jarring, uncomfortable feeling that was happening too often when he tried to reach an emotion that conflicted with her’s.) 

His hands twitched forward in front of him before he caught it and forced them back into his lap. He exhaled, desperately grasping for some shred of patience so he didn’t lose it and set this entire forest on fire.

Damn her; damn that girl and everything she felt straight to hell. (But maybe not really, such a soft thing with patience he didn’t understand but  _ wanted _ and flighty little thoughts like a bird’s wings. Full of such grand love-)

“Hn.” He commented to himself. There were too many layers; that was the trouble. There was too many layers to her, and too many layers to him. 

And all of it revolved around his brother.

Sasuke, as he had always been, focused on the differences between them. Looking for the cracks and the flaws. His life was about death and the end of things. Even his. From the very beginning, born into a shinobi home and taught to hold a kunai before he could hold pen. And then his family… and everything he had was nothing at all. Sasuke, the boy with a life full of ashes and nothing worth sticking around for. Save maybe the boy (bright, golden hair and a presence like a supernova) he might have once called friend.

(But was that really so different? Was her life also not about an end? So much lost, so much that could be lost-) What? (and she  _ burned, _ white hot and bright with love for all things just because she knew it would  _ end.) _

And therein lay the trouble. Sasuke couldn’t really grasp this, didn’t really understand what it meant to react with anything other than anger and hatred because that’s what he had programed himself to feel.

Because that was the only thing he could feel. (That was a lie.)

“Stop it!” He hissed vehemently, coming to his feet and feeding his desire to move before he realized that’s what he even needed.

His shoes left prints in the dirt he had previously been upending.

The muscles in his body contracted, flowed and relaxed with each movement like a well oiled machine. He could almost feel her weight on his back; a ghost of a sensation that was almost comforting, like his other half had come home-

“No.”

He forced himself to sit back down.

He forced his hands to lie still in his lap. (And it was easier than it had ever been, the calm ready and waiting for him, a calm that was not his. He grasped at it greedily.)

His thoughts turned slowly, coming back around to the elder Uchiha as they always did.

(And if they would have to die, perhaps he too, could be allowed to-)

Sasuke blinked, startled at the new sensation, the new provided understanding.

Maybe he could compromise with the girl inside him then.

Perhaps there was a way to satisfy both the self that was Sasuke and the self that was Nanami.

Maybe he would be okay if he could never really untangle them if he could only have what both of him wanted.

It was, after all, all about the end of things.

A shifting to his left brought his attention around, and his fingers itched into his kunai pouch to rest on cold hard metal loops, they lifted easily into his ready hands.

A pale figure emerged from the thick copse of trees he had managed to wedge himself behind. Lithe and graceful. Unearthly, inhuman. The familiar sensation of distaste rose in his throat, stronger than it had ever been.

“Sasuke-kun.” And didn’t he sound just a little bit too pleased. “Your eyes are clearer than the last time I saw you.” The Sennin commented, his head tilting to the side like a curious beast, long dark hair with jagged ends sweeping forward over a white clad shoulder.

Sasuke watched its movements without really knowing why.

Orochimaru’s statement was not untrue, as Sasuke knew he had come at least twice before. Both times he had left when prompted, but Sasuke knew well that the man would only wait so long for him to come back to the underground hovel he called a laboratory.

All of Sasuke knew that the only true escape from the Sannin would be the end of one of them, and he had far too much left undone for it to be his.

And he rose to his feet, a slow, graceful movement. His mind was calm; calmer than it had ever been. His mind in agreement and plans that had never occurred to him before settling easily into place.

It would have to be enough.

“Orochimaru.” His voice was ragged. 

Golden eyes surveyed his movement with guarded curiosity.

Above them, a bird took flight.

* * *

Ino wrenched herself from the creature's mind and sat up gasping out a jumble of words in a rush that clearly made no sense if the looks on her teammates faces were anything to go by.

Shikamaru passed her the waterbottle, eyes keen and sharp as he searched her face. Choji helped her sit, and she moved to comply just a tad too quickly. Her mind was a mixture of adrenalin and fear.

They were entirely too close to that particular missing-nin for her liking.

“Anything?” Asuma-sensei quired from where he crouched near their piled bags. Packed and ready to move at a moment’s notice.

“Orochimaru.” She choked out before taking a gulp of the offered water. She rose to her feet with the others, grim faces peering back at her with the dreaded news.

“We should move farther out.” Shikamaru prompted. Ino’s range could only go so far, and they had needed to trail slightly too close behind the Uchiha to keep within her range.

The appearance of Orochimaru had always been a variable, but it was one they had all hoped wouldn’t come to fruition.

“Sasuke-kun didn’t look very pleased to see him.” Ino informed them as they all set into well practiced motion. They turned as a group eastward and took to the higher tree branches, footsteps muted with chakra.

“How was his state of mind this time?” Shikamaru prompted her for the usual report as he pushed off a branch on her left.

Ino brushed a long strand of blond hair away from her face. “About the same. He’s still talking to himself, mostly nonsensical things. Sometimes he seems calm and composed and in the next moment he’s frantic about something and pacing.” 

Asuma fidgeted with the pack of cigarettes at his side, but let his hand drop a moment later. He couldn’t risk leaving a trail. The smell was much too strong, and that would be enough for any shinobi worth their salt.

“I think he’s deteriorating, but it’s hard to say without a real medical examination.” She continued. “Although, there at the end before Orochimaru had shown up he seemed to come to some internal conclusion. Which I think is what he’s been fighting for. Whatever that girl did to him she did a number on his psyche.”

This had been the subject of more than one conversation over the course of the last few days. Tailing Sasuke had made it abundantly clear that their debrief on the child the Akatsuki had been keeping around had more than one hole in it.

Shikamaru in particular had been vexed over the lack of information.

“What kind of bloodline limit could do that?” Choki asked not for the first time. “Other than yours.” He amended with a side long glance at Ino.

She shook her head in response. It was a well worn question, one none of them had the answer to. 

Ino caught her Nara teammate throwing their sensei another questioning glance, and she followed his line of sight to the older man as he vaulted forward in front of them. They all suspected he knew more than them, but whatever it was he wasn’t talking.

And once again despite Choji’s question their sensei didn’t look at them. He paid little mind to this particular conversation every time it came up and never bothered to offer any input. That alone was enough to speculate.

Whatever it was the girl could do, it had to be highly classified.

The trio halted suddenly as an explosion of chakra shredded through the trees, snapping weaker branches and swaying larger ones. Chakra poured into Ino’s feet as she compensated for the movement of her perch and the displacement of air around her.

As one they turned faces to look into the din behind them, and up- and up a great snake rose into the sky high above the canopy.

“Fuck.” Asuma noted, just as Choji added a squeaked, “That can’t be good.”

“This was only supposed to be an information gathering mission!” Ino breathed as the great snake reared back as if hit by some invisible force.

“Move out!” Asuma barked, and all four swung back into motion, moving with swift feet and pooled chakra to make it farther away from the radius of the battle none of them wanted anything to do with.

* * *

Nanami paced.

Back and forth, foot steps silent in the dark against the hardwood floor. 

It stirred in her, this feeling of unrest; worse than it had been in some time. Urgent and pleading for attention it curled dread in her belly. (Go,  _ move _ )

So she moved, fingers twisting about in her shirt, plucking at threads and eyes searching the pitch black for nothing as her body moved her around couches and tables with muscle memory.

Something was wrong. Something was off. Nanami stopped for a moment, squinting her eyes in an attempt to put a finger on the sensation.

It was like adrenalin coursing through her limbs, running high and feverish like the heat of battle.

But why? Why did she feel this way?

The only members of her Red Clouds she had not seen in awhile were Hummingbird, Zetsu, and Echo-sama; and even then her sense of intuition alone had never felt like  _ this. _

No, Nanami was sure the only time she had felt such strong emotions that did not feel quite right was when they hadn’t been hers at all but-

Her lips parted in a silent gasp of realization.

“Oh, shit.” The whisper was still too loud in the silence.

_ Bitter Wings. _

It had to be. She had no other explanation. Was Sasuke in trouble? Nanami had known she wouldn’t be able to sever their connection completely, but she had done her best to rid him of her emotions and thoughts so that he might recover from her meddling on his own.

It seemed however, to the best that she could tell, that his high running emotions ( _ Fear, panic, urgency, anger, hatred)  _ were permeating what shreds of it that remained.

She let out a soft breath and collected her thoughts. Letting whatever situation Bitter Wings had gotten himself into control how she felt would do neither of them any favors.

Regardless of her own composure, Nanami found herself taking silent and decisive steps towards Raven Eyes’ and Oceans’ room.

* * *

“Asuma!” A call sounded from their right and Team Ten turned their attention towards it as a small pug came leaping across branches towards them. The dog’s tongue lolled from the side of its mouth as it came to a stop in front of their team leader, panting heavily from a long run.

The symbol on its jacket proclaimed it as one of Kakashi’s. 

“Team Seven is about sixty-eight klicks south of here, they’ve been tracking Orochimaru from a distance. Kakashi was informed you might be in the area if Sasuke showed up and he wanted me to inform you of his teams whereabouts if that happened.” 

Another great gust of wind followed by a high pitch shriek filled the air when the giant snake tipped and fell to earth with all the weight it had to offer. 

Ino clung to the branch beneath her as Choji’s hand landed on her shoulder in a reflexive motion to keep her from also tipping forward to the ground far below them. 

“Understood.” Asuma acknowledged the dog summons as soon as the wind died down enough to be heard. 

“We’ll come around and group.” He continued, and Shikamaru nodded at the strategic choice. 

“I’ll guide you then.” The pug offered, turning back to look at them over a furry shoulder.

* * *

Itachi sat up the moment he heard the rustle of her cloak, and the sight of her had his mouth turning down in a hard line. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood just as his partner flicked on the table side lamp.

“Nanami.” Itachi questioned without really asking.

She didn’t stop what she was doing, but she did glance up at him. A look of determination made her eyes hard, but he could see the unease behind it.

She had pulled one of the smaller black cloaks around her shoulders, and she was finishing up tieing a fresh bandage around the arch of her foot.

She looked like she was leaving. The look on her face said she was leaving for a dangerous situation.

And for a moment Itachi was stunned; because this had never happened before. Nanami had never displayed any kind of autonomous behavior that suggested she had desires outside of following their group.

“Raven Eyes,” She addressed him, and the tone of her voice only confirmed what his eyes were telling him.

“Whats going on?” Kisame moved from his bed as well, and the small hint of unease on Nanami’s features seemed to double as they both stood before her. Her eyes flicked over to Oceans’ but quickly returned to his.

“You are going out.” Itachi murmured when she chewed her words for a fraction too long.

She nodded demurely, and something inside him he had not felt (or at least acknowledged that he felt) in some time rose to the forefront.

Protectiveness.

“Why?” Kisame sounded just as perplexed as he felt by this sudden turn at- he glanced over at the clock to be sure. 

2:47 am.

All of Akatsuki had some part in creating the little girl who stood before him, shoulders stiff and back straight. Loyal was all she had ever been, devoted, obsessed.

Never before had she made a decision that didn’t involved one of them for as long as he had known this child. But here she was tonight, awake and ready to leave with little to no explanation. He supposed it was only a matter of time for something like this to happen.

Nanami couldn’t be a child forever, she had hardly been a child from the day he and Kisame had pulled her from the roots and dirt. She had come a long way from then; and he knew, as much as he didn’t like it- that this moment was a turning point for her personality.

She couldn’t wait around on them forever, because they wouldn’t be around forever. There would come a day when Akatsuki was only a point in history; such was the nature of the lives they led.

Nanami need to be able to move on without them someday.

His chest tightened with something that he knew had nothing to do with his illness.

It was silent for a long couple of seconds, and then Kisame broke it.

“Hurry up and get back here. I don’t feel like explaining to everyone else where you are when I don’t even know.”

And Itachi was grateful his partner at least had that to say, because words seemed to have escaped him for the moment.

Neither of them would stop her, but he couldn’t deny the worry that settled over his shoulders.

He allowed himself a small sigh of frustration.

“Thank you.” And she looked just as relieved as she looked guilty, but Itachi knew as well as Kisame did that Nanami would never do anything to jeopardize them. Some personal mission, and he was no stranger to those.

“I’ll be home soon.” She promised like a child might do for her parents.

Itachi decided not to think too hard on that stray thought.

They followed her downstairs, and her little hand brushed the back of his in a purposeful motion as she slipped out the front door.

The way it clicked felt ominous.

Kisame and Itachi had another two minutes and one silent questioning glance at each other before several pairs of footsteps heralded down the stairs.

* * *

Nanami had no idea what she was doing. She had no backup, no partner, little field experience to speak of and a half-baked plan.

But there was no way she was going to feel his panic and just sit by and do  _ nothing. _

She wouldn’t involved her Red Clouds, she didn’t think they’d want to help anyways, (except maybe Loud Blood who was always game for some blood shed, and Itachi- but he had a very hands-off approach to dealing with his brother) but Nanami had never asked them for anything and she wasn’t about to start now. 

On top of that, she’d never forgive herself if one of them got hurt because of it. No, this was her choice, and she would deal with this situation on her own. She promised herself through the guilt that she would explain everything after she got home, and that hopefully Raven Eyes would forgive her for meddling so horribly in his brother’s life. (Again.)

She chewed her lower lip to shreds even as her feet and hands glided smoothly over stones and through bramble in an exhilarating and familiar hunt. Her chakra brushed along creatures and trees and all sorts of life as her spinning thoughts tried to cope with the stress and guilt of leaving her Red Clouds behind in a fit of selfishness- and trying to figure out what was going on with Bitter Wings at the same time.

She hoped it wasn’t Orochimaru (And may the Gods have mercy on her soul if it was, because it was _far too_ _soon_ for that battle.) 

She hoped Beating Hearts wouldn’t be disappointed with her.

She processed the odds of running into any Konoha-nin. (And these odds weren’t in her favor either.)

She hoped Burning Earth wouldn’t be angry. She hoped Loud Blood wouldn’t come after her- she hoped, she hoped, she hoped.

Nanami ran faster, hands and feet and bloodlust in a fervor like the monster she knew she was. She tracked the sensation of foreign but familiar chakra like a scent hound, fingers flexing and eyes keen.

No matter how fast she went, she never could seem to leave her thoughts behind.

 

* * *

  
Omake

Tobi watched the girl fumble with the unfamiliar weapon, and he couldn’t help but scoff at her lack of finesse with it. For all the time that she had spent in the company of S-class killers one would think she would be more proficient with a weapon. But as he had gleaned from his watch over this travesty of a tutoring session, her focus until now had been mostly on taijutsu. Tobi could at least say her skill in that area was acceptable, as he had experienced it first hand himself. Her close range combat in combination with her kekkei genkai was nothing short of lethal.

Getting in close quarters with her during a fight was not a mistake he would be repeating anytime soon.

Hidan laughed disproportionately loud at her mistake, and a light dusting of pink spread across her cheeks.  Tobi watched as Kakuzu stepped in between the two, taking her smaller hands in his and adjusting her grip on the hilts, so the blades would follow along her forearms properly.

He stepped away, and she repeated the motion that Hidan had been attempting to get her to copy only to have the weapon fling from her hand and fly off into the trees. 

“Maybe we should try something else.” Kisame laughed from his position in the shade beneath a tree. Itachi said nothing, and appeared to be disinterested in the goings-on as he flipped another page in his book. 

Nanami huffed, flexing her now empty fist and giving it a mistrustful look. 

“How about a throwing weapon?” Tobi offered with a smile in his voice from his crouched position on a high branch above them.

Hidan threw a nasty scowl at him with grumbled words he didn’t care to catch.

“It’s not a bad idea.” Itachi voiced without looking up from his book. “It would give her some additional range.” Kisame mused as he stood to dig through the pile of sealing scrolls that held various tools and weapons.

He tossed a newer looking one to Kakuzu who snatch it from the air with a quick movement as Kisame sat back down in a heap.

Hidan cackled madly with what Tobi assumed was pleasure at the sight of Kisame’s choice when Kakuzu unsealed it.

Nanami gave the thing a trepidatious look as it was passed into her hands.

Tobi though, thought it was an excellent choice for her skill set.

He supposed the real test would be seeing whether or not she would be capable of learning to wield it.

After watching her test her hand at it for several hours under the watchful eye of the group of mass murderers, Tobi wondered if Pein would be changing his mind on her position within Akatsuki in the future.

The girl was skilled, and only further driven by her desire to please the adults around her. With her kekkei genkai on top of her natural flexibility, speed, and tutelage, he knew she would be a force in her own right.

He thought for a moment that it was a good thing she hadn’t been born in Konoha. Her abilities would have gone to waste, and she probably would have turned out to be a very different person.

“You’ll have to practice more, but I think it should work for you.” Kakuzu noted as she wound the chain in loops.

“It’s a good pick.” Hidan cackled, no doubt associating its shape with his own weapon of choice.

“Don’t rely on it too heavily in a fight, your abilities are first and foremost close range, and if you think you won’t get out of a close range battle your best option would probably be to flee.” Kisame noted. The girl nodded diligently, taking on the advice with her full attention as she seemed to do with everything the members of Akatsuki told her.

She really was a strange girl. Tobi wasn’t sure if he’d ever pin her motivations down, everything about her made little sense to him.

Perhaps they were just too different; but that wasn’t an answer he was willing to accept just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’m sure y’all can all tell this is headed towards the battle between Sasuke and Orochimaru. Now, I’m gunna be 100% upfront with all y’all right now: I have never seen that arc, so I have no idea how it happens in canon. So please don’t expect it to follow anything canon-like.
> 
> On top of the fact that I haven’t watched that arc, obviously Nanami wasn’t there in canon either, PLUS in the IEAD timeline, this battle is taking place months ahead of when it should and Sasuke isn’t as prepared as he was in canon, nor is he in the right state of mind to be taking on the Sannin alone.
> 
> So I plan on having some fun with that.


	42. In the Eyes of God

Chapter Forty-Two: In the Eyes of God

“Divine Judgement awaits heathens who are ignorant to the pain of others.” -Hidan

* * *

Itachi watched Tobi ( _ Obito _ he reminded himself) flutter around the edges of the room, never quite interjecting in the argument but not really bothering to remove himself either. He couldn’t help but wonder what the man was up to. He was sure, regardless, that Obito had no investment in either side of the ongoing argument.

“We have to let her make her own choices sometime.” Kisame said, unconcerned. Itachi thought this was probably the Kiri-nin’s way of showing faith in her prowess. It was a grave insult to any shinobi worth their salt to be told they needed supervision.

But it was also often a foolish assumption to think that a shinobi could handle things on their own, and Itachi could only trust that Nanami had adequately weighed the dangers of her choice. She was young, but she was also sharp; with a keen sense for violence and it was Itachi’s opinion that she needed to make her own choices in order to continue growing. 

“That not the point!” Hidan snarled, practically frothing at the mouth. Behind the white haired man his partner stood silent with crossed arms, mask firmly in place. His eyes were unsettling, and told nothing of what he was thinking.

“We all have fucking partners for a reason! You two-” He swung an accusing finger between Itachi and Kisame with too-wide eyes and just a few too many teeth flashing in the light. “-Just let her go traipsing into whatever the fuck situation without any fucking backup! What the fuck is  _ wrong _ with you?!” 

“She’s not going to be a little kid forever. You’ll just have to trust that she understands what she’s gotten into. If she wanted help she would have asked for it.” Kisame seemed to be done arguing with Hidan; his voice tinged on frustration. A frustrated Kisame was not a fun time for anyone.

Deidara barked a laugh from his position on the couch, grasping everyone’s attention. Until now the blond man had had little to say. Itachi thought he was probably torn.

“Do you even know who we are talking about, un. Nanami?  _ Ask for something? _ ” He said incredulously. Itachi also agreed with this assessment, but it didn’t sway his position either.

They had to let Nanami make this choice. If they didn’t, she might never stop relying on them. (and even after all these years, a part of Itachi was  _ stunned _ that this particular group was even having this particular argument.)

Hidan sputtered, almost talking over Deidara in his haste to bite back at Kisame. “Nanami isn’t  _ just any _ little kid!”

Kisame folded his arms across his chest and leaned back, clearly having said his peace and done with this conversation. He turned towards the stairs, teeth gnashing behind his lips.

“We have to let her grow up.” He reiterated a final time.

Hidan shoved both his hands into his hair and tugged hard enough that Itachi thought he might be attempting to rip it out of his scalp. He made a guttural, snarling sort of noise that was not unlike the sounds Nanami made during a particularly rough practice.

“Where is Tobi?” Kakuzu spoke for the first time, and Itachi turned his head towards the direction he had seen the orange masked man creeping earlier.

“Huh? What the fuck does that even matter.” Hidan grumbled, purple eyes sweeping across the room.

Itachi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose; having come to the same conclusion Kakuzu had.

“It seems he has stepped out.” 

Hidan snarled again and swung a lighting quick fist into the wall on his left. “Oh fuck no.” He hissed, pulling back his arm with a cloud of crumbling drywall. 

Hidan bolted for the door, and Itachi didn’t bother to stop him.

The man could make his own choices, just like Nanami. Even if he didn’t agree with them.

Kakuzu uncrossed his arms and moved to follow at a more languid pace. His acid green and red eyes caught Itachi’s, and he gave a small nod of acknowledgement without words.

But he still left all the same.

“Well.” Deidara commented into the ensuing silence as Itachi made his way to follow after his own partner. It was late after all.

The blond man sighed, the sound stressed and unsure.

Itachi agreed with that assessment as well.

* * *

Nanami’s palms smacked into the rough bark of the next branch and she flung herself forward with all the momentum her little body was worth. She rocketed forward at a renewed speed, bare feet in front seeking the next perch to throw herself forward with.

She felt like she had been traveling for hours. Maybe it had been, or perhaps her sense of time was skewed with all the panic that wasn’t hers racing through her brain. (movemove **move** )

The closer she got, the more she could feel Bitter Wings heightened state of agitation.

It was another hour before something distracted her enough to pull her out of the tunnel vision she’d burrowed into.

Two chakra signatures pinged onto her mental map, and something in her went slightly slack at the sense of them. They were a ways behind, but catching up quickly.

Loud Blood, and Beating Hearts. The closest of her Red Clouds.

Her heart tore between relief and fear for their safety. She knew as S-class shinobi that they could handle themselves; she trusted them, she trusted in their abilities; but that didn’t make her any less  _ afraid. _

The other, less familiar, but no less recognizable chakra signatures a ways away on her left didn’t make her trepidation at the Zombi-combo’s arrival any less prevalent.

_ Naruto. _

She could pick that boy out of a crowd of a thousand people. Just beneath his burning ball of chakra Kakashi and Sakura registered. There was another as well, but it wasn’t one she was familiar with.

She swerved her path to avoid them, moving on a harder line to her right.

_ Fucking leaf-nin always sticking their noses in everything. _

She supposed if anyone had a right to know Sasuke’s business though it would be that blond boy, but he’d have to get in line at this point. Nanami felt overly responsible for Bitter Wings; it was her fault he was struggling in this battle to begin with. There was no doubt left in her mind either, Orochimaru’s chakra was as disgusting as it was recognizable.

Sasuke had to live through this. He had a job to do. Itachi needed him.

Nanami trampled the rising tightness in her throat.  _ Not now. _

Her senses keen on Naruto’s position, she headed as quickly as she could towards Sasuke’s weakening signature and Orochimaru’s strengthening one, it was no wonder she completely overlooked the group in her path with all the powerhouses in the area.

Their signatures in comparison were negligible.

But running into them did her no favors either.

Nanami ducked beneath a whistling kunai above her and jumped down onto the ground, her momentum carrying her across the grass in a graceful slide that flung dirt and plant matter up behind her.

The clink of more metal had her attention swinging towards a blue-eyed, blond girl. Nanami’s nails dug into the earth beneath her, eyes wide at the realization of the group who had scampered into fighting positions before her.

The blond girl, who Nanami was sure had a name like pig or boar or something, relaxed her stance slightly at the sight of her; her kunai coming down with a confused expression that pinched her perfectly manicured eyebrows together.

“It’s just a little kid.” She said, but the pug at her feet didn’t seem to think Nanami was ‘just a little kid’. The dog made a strangled sort of noise that caught her attention, and she looked down at him, recognizing his chakra as the summon she had sensed in the cave that was now Sasori’s resting place.

“Pakkun?” Yea, that seemed right, maybe? She wasn’t sure. Her head felt cloudy, her breath was coming too fast; and she knew it had nothing to do with her run.

The blond girl’s breath hitched and she took an unconscious step backwards, the dog making a prancing motion on all four feet to hide behind the girl’s legs. At her side, a much larger, grown man barred an arm between the her and Nanami.

Her eyes flickered up to look at him with distaste. 

_ Asuma. _

Her heart felt like it was palpating inside her chest; her blood rushing in her ears, her skin crawled in the most uncomfortable sensation. Dread fell over her like a closing curtain, because,  _ fuck. _

If he was here… then…

Her eyes slid slowly over the gathered group of Konoha-nin, expectant but not really prepared.

(She was afraid. So very  _ terrified. _ )

She rose slowly, hands coming off the ground and her black cloak swirling around her feet. The weight of her weapon at the small of her back came to the forefront of her mind for a split second. The chains clinked together as she moved.

Doe brown eyes swept the collected four man team, and she found him.

He stood to her left atop a jagged outcropping of rock, slightly above the rest of his team. His dark eyes were narrow and calculating, mouth set in a grim line.

Her fingers spasmed.

“ _ Nara _ .” She snarled at him baring all her sharp little teeth in every warning of bloodshed she could muster.

She fucking  _ hated his guts on sight. _

* * *

Obito swirled into existence atop a hefty branch that swayed under the barrage of chakra laden wind. He fluttered around the edges of the battle-made clearing; minimizing his core instinctually to keep from garnering any attention from the combatants below.

It didn’t seem like they’d be taking notice of anyone anytime soon, but he didn’t have any interest in getting involved; he just wanted to keep any eye on the proceedings.

Originally, he had left to chase after the girl but once he had locked onto the youngest surviving Uchiha and the Akatsuki deserter he figured he knew where she was headed anyways.

He spared a moment to wonder how she had even known what was going on from the confines of their base. Her chakra sense was either far above anything he had thought her capable of, or there was something else going on with her. At this point it could be either; and he rankled over the lack of information to come to a decent conclusion with. 

He watched for a time, and couldn’t help but scoff at the pathetic display before him.

Orochimaru was clearly unwell. The frail looking man heaved for breath, a sickly sheen of sweat covering what was visible of his scaly white skin. His chakra was sluggish, and the jutsu he produced were half of what he was capable of at best.

On the other side Sasuke seemed to be in a perpetual state of confusion, torn between anger and fear and a myriad of other emotions Obito didn’t care to analyze. His strategies were incomplete, and he made strange mistakes that one might associate with a person who had been poisoned or drugged. He supposed since this was Orochimaru the boy was dealing with either was a possibility.

“Hmm.” He wondered aloud to himself quietly as the young Uchiha made a sloppy dodge that resulted in a shredded sleeve and blood erupting down his arm.

He pondered over whether or not it would be a good idea to interfere or not, but eventually dismissed the thought. He would watch a while longer.

He wanted to see why Nanami was coming here after all.

* * *

Hidan had zero sensory capabilities. He was pretty much flying blind at all times when entering a situation. So when Kakuzu, who had a better sense of things than he did, (marginally) informed him of two groups of enemy-nin when they were practically on top of them he didn’t question it.

They split, Kakuzu veering off to run interference for Nanami on one group and himself with the other. Hidan wasn’t particularly smart, certainly not like Itachi (no one was smart like Itachi) but some things just made sense after a life time of war and fighting.

Of course, he hadn’t expected to almost run over Nanami either.

“Little Bitch!” He screeched, coming to land at her side with a thud of heavy feet on dry earth. His Akatsuki cloak whipped behind him with snaps of agitated movement, proclaiming for anyone who had eyes exactly who he worked for. 

There was an immediate sense of relief at seeing her whole; limbs still attached and breathing. He was the only one who had the right at attempting to grievously injure her after all. (Not that he would... probably.) 

Hidan’s attention quickly turned to where her’s lay after his inspection of her person was found to be satisfactory. He looked at the group before him like the seasoned shinobi he was, adjusting his stance and reaching for the handle of his scythe on his back with well trained reflexes. 

The first thing he processed was a skinny blond girl with a ninkin between her feet, and a grown man hiding half her body behind his bulk protectively. The look on her face was something akin to shock and fear.

Hidan thought it was a good look for her.

The man in front of her was clearly a Jonin, perhaps their Jonin-sensei? 

_ Easy Pickings. _ His thoughts laughed with malicious glee.

A rotund boy who looked like he hadn’t done a day’s worth of hard work in his life with swirls on his cheeks looked between himself and the little girl at his side. He seemed confused, and fearful.

The last member was a boy with spiky hair wrangled into a ponytail. He had dark eyes that cataloged purposefully in a way that Itachi’s did absently.

“Shouldn’t you be headed towards that?” Hidan assumed aloud and purposefully turned to Nanami to agitate the leaf-nin with his dismissal. She glanced up at him, and then towards the smoke and echoing booms that sounded farther off.

When she looked back at him, he realized that he had never seen her quite like this before.

Her breath came in wild pants, the whites of her eyes bloodshot and hands twitching towards the weapon that was secured to the small of her back beneath her cloak. He could hear the chains clink and the bell in her hair chime every time she shifted.

He paused at the sight of her, everything about her body language and features told him she wasn’t in her right state of mind. There was more going on here than Hidan was capable of imagining, but he recognized it at least.

Her eyes flicked up to the boy with the ponytail and back over to him.

“I can’t leave you here with him.” She whispered brokenly, her attention slipping once again to look off into the distance at the smoke rising above the trees. A white eyebrow shot into his hairline at the declaration.

“He’s just going to have to wait.” She said even lower. Hidan only caught it because he was standing right next to her.

“Akatsuki.” The Jonin-sensei spoke, breaking their small exchange. The blond girl gave the older man a wild look, like she couldn’t believe they were just standing there instead of fleeing.

Hidan giggled, the sound unhinged. The Konoha-nin before him shifted uncomfortably which only heightened his sense of pleasure and satisfaction. 

“You know who we are.” The Jonin made a statement that somehow sounded like a question, voice hard edged and sharp like a blade. This was directed at Nanami, and Hidan swung his attention back down to the girl who still had eyes locked on Ponytail Boy. 

She looked five seconds from leaping at him and tearing out his throat. His grin widened, that little bit of something in himself that wasn’t quite sane slipping into the forefront. Hidan wanted to watch her do it more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. He had no idea why that boy in particular set her off, but  _ fuck _ he wanted her slaughter him. Her killing intent was leaking everywhere every time she even glanced at the boy; heavy and potent on his tongue. It wasn’t much to him, but he imagined to these kids who still looked wet behind their ears it must have felt death itself.

(Hidan was so proud of Nanami.)

“Whats with you and Leaf-nin?” He asked aloud. It always did seem to be the Leaf-nin when she went all soothsayer on everyone.

She look up at him, and when purple met wide doe brown his breath hitched for the sheer amount of pain he could see hidden behind her eyes.

It was… beautiful. As if Jashin-sama was looking right at her, blessing her with the true understanding of suffering. Nanami, as Hidan knew better than the others; was always suffering. She never said why, save for the time she had been feverish and ill, but Hidan knew. Hidan knew she suffered constantly under the weight of something vile and terrible, just as he knew the Uchiha did when he looked at him.

Jashin-sama was always pointing him in the right direction, and his God’s gaze was constantly upon Nanami. But right now, in this singular moment he could almost see the hands of God upon her shoulders, Jashin-sama’s eyes looking up at him through hers. The years and years worth of suffering for the things she troubled over accumulating around her, saturating the air.

Nanami was the most blessed creature he had ever come across, and it only endeared him more to her.

She suffered constantly. 

Jashin-sama loved her for it. 

Hidan… loved her for it. Or whatever the feeling in his chest was; because he kind of doubted he was capable of anything like love. Not in the way that Jashin-sama loved, and certainly not in the way that Nanami loved. 

(Hidan had never thought that anyone might suffer over the idea of losing him, of losing any of them, and of course she was still a heathen but Nanami was… less tainted with sin than others. If only she would convert; then she would be truly as blessed and pure as he knew her to be.)

“He’s the Nara.” She said plainly, her voice level, empty, and at complete odds with the turmoil in her eyes. She sounded like Itachi again he registered in the back of his mind. 

She had said  _ The Nara. _

Not A, The.

His face split into a shit eating grin as he looked over at the boy who was now taking careful, measured steps towards his teammates.

They all looked ready to flee. They clearly had no interest in engaging the two of them.

“That one?” He laughed with a pointed finger that made the boy’s shoulders go stiff and knives drop into the Jonin’s hands. “You can’t be serious, he looks like a scrawny little shit!” He cackled like it was a good joke, but Nanami’s lips didn’t even twitch.

His laughter petered out.

“Yea, alright. Fucking spoil sport.” He acquiesced after another split second of silence. “So he’s the one then,” The group of leaf-nin all shifted, absorbing the Nara into their midst and bringing him to the back of the group, the three others (and one dog) presenting a united front.

A weak one, but united all the same.

Hidan really,  _ really _ wanted to kill them; his usual appetite for blood only bolstered by Nanami’s killing intent rolling around the field like heavy fog in water country.

“So what do you wanna do about it. You got stuff to do-” another quick glance above the trees, “-should we kill him now or later?” Because of course there was no question, Nanami  _ clearly _ wanted him dead and Hidan was only too eager to give her the opportunity to slaughter the boy.

A shuddered went through the group in front of them at his words.

For a split second, Nanami looked torn, and Hidan wasn’t sure why.

“Where is Beating Hearts?” She asked instead, and his brow furrowed at the deflection.

“He went to intercept the other team.”

Her hair, feather braids and all, flung to the side in a wild arc as she snapped her head to look at him, eyes startled and fearful.

“Kakashi and Naruto are there!” She hissed like that should mean something to him. Her left hand grasped the handle of her kusarigama, and she unsheathed it in a motion Hidan thought might have been on reflex. The chain rattled, and apparently that was enough to set the leaf-nin into motion.

In a millisecond they flickered up into the trees and moved away from them at a hard pace; making a bee-line towards the direction Kakuzu had set off.

Hidan’s knees bent in preparation to leap after them, only to have Nanami bar his way with a little arm.

He looked down at her in confusion, and she looked up at him with a torn expression.

“I know I can’t stop you.” She whispered, and Hidan could hear the worry in her voice. “But please, be careful- Kakuzu is going to need backup. If it looks like things are going south,” She took a watery breath. “Please just run.” The last part came out as a broken whisper, and Hidan knew just as well as she did that he didn’t run from anything.

He was immortal after all.

Hidan didn’t say anything; he thought her worry was unnecessary, he could handle himself. (But he supposed if you could see the future or whatever the fuck it was that she did he might feel the same way about things.)

Regardless, he really wanted to lop those kids heads off.

His tongue tracked a wet line across his lower lip in anticipation; he could taste their blood on his blade already.

His face slipped into another vicious grin, but Nanami only gazed back at him with resigned eyes.

“Be safe.” He heard her say even as he took to chasing after the brats with a loud whoop of joy.

He couldn’t wait to teach these brats the true meaning of suffering.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Really Long AN: So I tried really hard to do Hidan some justice here. Really dig into the way he thinks through the eyes of someone who thinks suffering is a blessing, but it’s difficult because, well… Hidan is batshit y’all. Like, genuinely nuts. 15 gallons of crazy in a 10 gallon hat. (you get the point) So it’s difficult to make sense out of something that clearly makes no sense whatsoever. But! I did try, maybe i’ll expound more on that later. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this point because I wanted it to come out well. (I love Hidan, He’s fascinating to write.)
> 
> We will get to see more of Nanami’s perspective in the next chapter, including Shikamaru’s. (and maybe Ino too just for a reference point idk yet honestly.)
> 
> Kakuzu will be coming around soon as well and I expect things are going to turn into a clusterfuck sooner rather than later. It’s kind of difficult juggling so many different things going on at once, but it’s a fun challenge. I’ll do my best to not leave behind any of the characters I’ve included in this arc and make sure they all get an appropriate amount of verbiage and screen time.
> 
> Some of y’all might have noticed that I took the advice of a couple of my reviewers and looked up the episode where Sasuke fights Orochimaru (and wow, canon really just dropped Orochimaru off the face of the plot, it was kind of lame actually) Though I promise this was only for the purpose of finding out what his weakness was. For the most part; this arc will be nothing like canon, nor the Fire Temple arc. (If you couldn’t tell already there a bit of mushing together going on)
> 
> Please let me know what you think, or if you have any suggestions to add to the story, they are always welcome! I’m not 100% happy with this chapter, but at least it’s done now and we can move forward to more interesting things. I’m super excited for what I have planned for Sasuke, I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback on including him in the story so it’s been really motivating to do something fun with him. (Poor, poor abused Sasuke can’t seem to get a break)


	43. Lamb Calls (Wolf Strikes)

Chapter Forty-Three: Lamb Calls (Wolf Strikes)

This chapter was Beta-ed by: Wistfuldaydream

“Never one-” Said Lamb, “-Without the other.” Echoed Wolf. 

* * *

It was the way she moved that initially made him suspicious. One moment it was just his team, all packed up and ready to move out; and then Pakkun went still, very still.

“What’s wrong?” Shikamaru brought attention to himself, only for the others to notice his attention was directed at the little pug. Asuma though, Asuma-sensei seemed to have already caught on and his gaze was steady on the canopy of trees before them. Shikamaru couldn’t sense anything, but then Asuma-sensei and Pakkun had been fighting in wars before he had even been born.

One moment it was just his team, and the next she was there.

A silent body flicker and an almost soundless, muted thud of her bare feet on a thick branch. She was young, he noted immediately. Awfully young to be moving like that. She crouched, hands and feet on the branch in an animalistic quality. Not unlike the way he had seen some of the Inuzuka clan move when they were especially close to their ninkin. She lacked any facial markings that would have made her a part of that clan however.

She paused at the sight of them, her eyes gaining shadows. There was an intent look about her; a girl on a mission. He didn’t miss which way she was heading, either. She was either very confident in her skills or stupid enough to consider walking into a battle between two Konoha missing-nin a viable option. Or she felt she had no choice in the matter. The resigned determination on her face lended credence to that theory.

She flickered again, a silent flash of movement that he knew for sure should be way too quick for anyone that young. Perhaps it was a genjutsu? He gave a small flare of his chakra just in case, and when he felt no pressure relieved he had to accept that she was simply skilled for her age.

Her image solidified before them; she remained crouched, bent forward onto her hands in a particular way that suggested she was used to this posture. As if she had been doing it her whole life. He wasn’t sure what to make of that at all. 

When she began to rise slowly his teammates shifted below him, hands twitched towards weapons reflexively.  He cursed silently for his less than ideal positioning on the outcropping of rock that had him higher than their positions; separated from the group. He started inching towards them, just in case.

“It’s just a little kid.” He heard Ino murmur, and out of the corner of his eye he saw her kunai lower.

That was a foolish assumption.

His eyes narrowed on the small child. Her eyes found his blond teammate and her head tilted just so. A little bell hanging from the bottom of a braid that fell from behind her ear chimed sweetly, and Shikamaru assessed this as well.

She was clearly a shinobi. He easily classed her as unusually skilled for her age and well trained; but further categorization of her actual level would require more information. In the very least, he knew that the kind of speed she had displayed and the shunshin itself was a high chunin skill. On par with himself, and probably above his teammates as they had only just been promoted. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he even matched up with that speed. He was fast, but he hadn’t even been able to follow the motion she had made.

She couldn’t have been older than ten; maybe seven or eight at most. Short, sandy brown hair that looked wind blown from a long run, bare feet, her voluminous black cloak shifted around what he thought was probably a kunai pouch on her thigh, and an odd shape on her back: an unidentified weapon. Her eyes were a brown colour, but shadowed with deep lines of exhaustion beneath them. She looked… stressed. It was in the tenseness of her shoulders, her twitching fingers and the deep bite marks on her lower lip. Shikamaru surmised that her state wasn’t anything new. She’d been in an elevated emotional state for a while; her gaunt expression wasn’t from a lack of any one single night’s sleep lost.

It looked chronic.

He watch her eyes cataloged them in return even as he assessed her threat level himself. He didn’t like the conclusions he was coming too, however she hadn’t displayed any aggression yet.

“Pakkun?” She sounded like she wasn’t sure, blinking down at the little dog who went stiff under her scrutiny.

He felt his breath catch. Perhaps she was a spy of some kind? He noted her lack of any village insignia and something in his chest tightened.  _ That was not good. _ No village meant no loyalties, at least, no obvious ones. 

She was a shinobi, so that meant someone had trained her. He had never heard of anyone becoming a missing-nin at her age.

The little dog slunk backwards, farther behind Ino’s legs. Pakkun seemed to have a better idea of who she was than they did, and Shikamaru didn’t like the pug’s reaction.

The girls eyes flickered up to look at Asuma when the man smoothly interjection himself between her line of vision on Ino. Choji shuffled on unsure feet, looking between the girl, himself, and Asuma. He kept his lips firmly sealed and Shikamaru followed his best friend’s example.

Shikamaru felt his heart skip a beat when a look of distaste crossed her features at the sight of his sensei; it was the slight curl to her lip, the subtle scrunch to her nose.

He quickly set his own emotional reaction to this aside, and asked himself  _ what does it mean. _

She knew them. Clearly.

She disliked his sensei, a Jounin of Konohagakure. Asuma-sensei was a good man, well liked by his peers and a known name amongst the monks of the Fire Temple. She was far too young to have known him when he was a younger man, wild and arrogant. Perhaps it was his family name, Sarutobi. 

Shikamaru restrained himself from grumbling a complaint. There just wasn’t enough information.

And then she looked at him, and everything went to  _ shit. _

She  _ snarled  _ at him, like some kind of rabid animal, all teeth and lips pulled back to show a string of saliva trailing from the end of a canine tooth. She hunched forward, and he knew with a small amount of momentum she would pitch forward onto her hands and lunge for him. He also knew there was no way he could keep up with her speed; if she chose to attack the probability of successfully blocking her strikes would be minimal.

His thoughts stuttered to a halt the second her killing intent unfurled, like a thick, ugly cloud of death reaching out to choke him. His vision went white around the corners of his eyes, his muscles froze and oh gods  _ hecouldn’tbreath- _

_ “Nara.” _ Her voice was so full of hated, and he was drowning in her chakra. He almost didn’t hear her and he wished he hadn’t because it only made the tension in his neck tangle further. 

Visions of her teeth sinking into his neck, the perfect shape of her sharp little incisors that she bared at him tearing out his flesh assaulted his senses and he was  _ so sure he was going to die here- _

His knees locked, the blood rushed in his ears, pounding behind his eyes and suddenly there wasn’t enough air in his lungs; he gasped for it, muscles tense and body shaking. His thoughts jumbled together in a panic and he desperately tried to grasp onto any sense of logic to clear away the fog of this little girls chakra. It wouldn’t come, oh, gods it  _ wouldn’tcomehedidntwanttodie- _

Shikamaru’s breath left him with a hissing sound when her attention was diverted to a man who was suddenly at her side, her killing intent lessening but not disappearing completely. He blinked harshly, having not realized the creeping white over his vision had very nearly consumed him. He hadn’t even seen the new comer arrive he’d been so floored under the heat of her gaze. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt anything that  _ potent _ before.

He was shaking. He was shaking so badly he irrationally worried he might fall apart right there.

The Ichibi had been a wild, untamed sort of killing intent; unfocused and desperately angry at everything and nothing with a slick, poisonous quality to it. It had been horrid, but he had slogged through it because of it’s lack of focus.

This girl though, this girl. Her killing intent was something else. Something on another level. It was a muted swipe of a kunai in the dead of night; it was grim and determined. Focused, pointed like a blow that struck true with the resigned understanding that  _ this was necessary. His life was a hinderance and his death was necessary. _

She wouldn’t kill him because she liked death, and she wouldn’t do it because a Kage had ordered her too. No, this girl would kill him because she genuinely believed the world would be a better place without him in it.

For a split second he was thankful to the newcomer for distracting her because he could think again, the haze, and that horrible, terrible knowledge that his death was coming ebbing away-

Right up until he saw the cloak.

And the man’s crazed, too-wide eyes and cackling laughter pierced his brain in a different kind of fear.

He completely missed what the Akatsuki member was saying, too focused on keeping his hands from shaking in fear and leveling himself upright. 

Everything made sense then.

Her lack of village insignia, her ahead-of-her-age skill level, her distaste for a Konoha Jounin.

Everything of course, except for why the Child of the Akatsuki would harbor such a malicious hatred for him  _ specifically _ .

Perhaps it wasn’t personal, a very, very small part of him that wasn’t desperately trying to keep from passing out whispered. Perhaps it was the Nara name, and not him.

Somehow he doubted that though.

* * *

Nanami watched Hidan’s retreating back, and the sudden lack of his presence and body heat beside her felt heavy, excruciatingly heavy. It settled on her shoulders so abruptly she couldn’t help but raise her shaking hands to her temples to cradle her head and sink down to the ground in a crouch.

She ducked her head between her knees, breathing heavily with eyes squeezed shut. A dry sob sounded in her ears, and she knew it was hers but she felt disembodied enough to question it. 

She stayed like that for a few long moments. (It felt like forever)

Eventually her breath evened, her mind emptied (A dead, stagnant sort of empty. The kind that took over when your mind could no longer compute the stress and worry.) and so she tipped forward; just enough to spring off hands and feet and dart back into the brush as if the last five minutes had never happened at all.

She didn’t have long to worry, because in the next few minutes as she approached the sounds of battle Sasuke’s emotions were so thick they nearly took over her own.

She very nearly let them; but this was not the time to lose her sense of self. So she carefully, methodically separated what she felt and what he felt and boxed them away for later retrieval. It was sloppy, but it would have to do for now.

She bounced from the high branch of a Fire Country tree, skirting around the edges of a crater that ringed with fire and smoke. She looked for a way in, a possible advantageous moment to interject herself into the ensuing battle. 

The animals in the area had long since fled, and only the chakra signatures of the trees and earth remained around the combatants.

Except-

Nanami blinked, pausing mid leap to turn her head to look up and slightly to her right.

Above, looking down at her with a tilted head was the stark orange mask of Tobi. His chakra was still there, but it was compressed into a tight, dense ball of raging blue. She could see the tips of his gloved fingers curling around the edge of the branch he was leaning over.

“Swirly Face,” She greeted, eyes darting back towards the distant figures in the center of the crater that kept leaping at each other with flashes of metal and bursts of fire. “Be careful.” She told him on reflex.

He was still one of her Red Clouds after all.

“Try not to fall.” She added, eyeing the precarious way he was tipping over the edge of his perch.

“Tobi will be careful!” He cheered, and she could hear the grin in his voice, so she smiled slightly before darting off again.

She wondered for a moment why he was here, but dismissed it immediately after as none of her business. If Swirly Face wanted her to know he would have told her.

She halted again in a gap between the blazing flames that licked up the trees on either side of her position. This seemed as good a place as any, and her eyes narrowed when she watched Sasuke stumble to the side and Orochimaru’s arm pulling back to take advantage of the boy’s mistake.

Nanami lunged.

They were deep inside the crater, but the distance meant nothing as she exploded off the tree, bark flying everywhere with a loud  _ crack. _

Distorted colours flashed past in her peripheral.

She barrelled into Sasuke, her body making contact with his with the smack of flesh and the hiss of chakra. An enormous green snake shot past, its length leading back towards Orochimaru’s sleeve.

Bitter Wings was panting heavily, and his eyes were rapidly gaining a glaze as he lay pliant beneath her. His skin was a stark white against the crimson of blood that was splashed across him, his clothing torn to shreds in some places. There was a kunai held limply in his dominant hand. His hair was more of a mess than it usually was, the wild spikes invading his face instead of smoothing back like it normally did.

The most worrisome part however, was his left eye which was squeezed shut tightly, blood welling from the tear duct. His other spun in rapid circles, the single sharingan working hard to make up for the loss of the other.

She hoped he hadn’t lost the eye completely. She frowned, it didn’t seem like it would be advantageous to damage Sasuke’s eyes if Orochimaru was planning on taking his body. The Sannin had put a lot of work and effort into obtaining the young Uchiha after all.

What did that mean?

Nanami rolled off of him, yanking Sasuke to his feet with her. (It was an awkward motion, he was much taller than her and her body instinctively wanted to crouch even lower to the ground.) They both leapt backwards in tandem, a seamless movement as if the two had never been separated at all.

“Wake up!” Nanami snapped at Sasuke, and he seemed to startle enough at the sound of her voice to shake the confusion off.

“Why are you here.” He growled down at her. 

Orochimaru started laughing. It was a tired sound, edging on hysteria. 

“I just got rid of you.” Bitter Wings said lowly; in an almost lost, desperate tone.

She ached for him.

“I couldn’t let you do this alone.” She told him truthfully, apologetically.

“It’s none of your business!” He snapped right back with a curl of disdain to his lip.

Nanami gave a one-shoulder shrug, turning towards Orochimaru whose golden eyes were pinning her in place. His chuckles were tapering off.

“You aren’t Akatsuki.” She explained as if he would understand. He probably didn’t. He wasn’t one of her Red Clouds, and despite the pressing need in her to defend this boy, he would never be afforded the same rights that her brothers held.

“Hello, child.” Orochimaru’s voice was slick and quiet, but she heard him all the same over the roar of fire and crack of falling trees in the distance.

“Hello Orochimaru-san.” She greeted pleasantly, because Raven Eyes had shown her how easy it was to set your opponent off balance with apathetic pleasantries.

The Sannin seemed unphased however.

Bitter Wings grunted for breath at her side, and she could tell he was worn thin.

But so was Orochimaru.

Her eyes narrowed on the older man.

“You seem well.” She added sarcastically, because as much as she followed Raven Eyes teachings, Oceans had had a hand in her upbringing as well.

Orochimaru scoffed, it was an ugly, twisted expression and in the back of her mind Nanami tallied a point towards herself. In the end though, it would be teeth and the pointy end of her blade that decided the winning mark.

She was fully prepared to show him how capable she was. None of the apprehension of their last meeting lingered in her; save for what Sasuke was feeling, but that was a distant murmur of unease as she forcibly moved his thoughts and feelings to the back of her mind.

Nanami could smell weakness on the Sannin like a wolf chasing after a bleeding hare.

With Sasuke's help, (perhaps even without) she was confident she could kill him this time.

Nanami’s dominant foot slid across the scorched earth, pitching her balance forward in preparation. Orochimaru’s eyes didn’t move from hers, but she saw his lips twitch in what might have been an anticipatory movement.

But then his gaze left her and slid behind to Bitter Wings.

His grin widened. 

She heard Sasuke stumble again, and it took everything in her not to whirl around and catch him.

He fell, hitting the ground with a hard thump.

Nanami’s muscles tensed. 

There was no way she would have the opportunity to remove him from the field, and she knew Orochimaru wouldn’t leave the boy alone.

He’d take Bitter Wings and run at the first opportunity.

A heated breath of resignation escaped her, and her eyes slipped shut for only a moment in the space between Orochimaru’s tensing limbs and his forward momentum.

Her chakra strings uncoiled and she snapped them across the surface of Bitter Wings’ weakened core.

It wasn’t the only option she had left, but this did have the highest probability of both hers and Bitter Wings’ survival. There was always a choice, but she wasn’t going to chose to let Orochimaru take him just to avoid taking him herself.

The familiar sensation of Sasuke’s emotional state returned; the full-bodied force of it swamped over her, stealing her breath. It was almost like comparing the memory of the way something tasted, to actually tasting the thing. 

Their previously tattered link flashed white hot in her mind’s eye. Now a steady thrum of even exchange between them. Nanami became fully aware of his fear, his apprehension. His anger and hatred and frustration. It all came back as if it had never left at all. She ground her teeth against it.

_ Move! _ Her thoughts screeched the command so loud she wasn’t sure if she had spoken it aloud or not.

Sasuke was up and leaping backwards with her, despite the absence of his fully conscious mind. She watched his good eye crack open and black bleed to swirling red once more in her peripheral.

Orochimaru landed with a snarl in the space they had occupied only a moment before, unfocused rage crossing his tired features.

Nanami reached into her cloak and curled her fingers around the hilt of her weapon. The chains clinked together softly. Her bare toes dug into the soot and dirt beneath her.

She would have to finish this quickly, and she knew she could; just like Sasuke was vulnerable to her kekkei genkai because of his seal; Orochimaru was weak against her for almost exactly the same reason. The Sannin’s chakra core was even more animal than human, even more corrupted and twisted than Sasuke’s would ever be.

All she needed was one touch, and all of this would be nothing but a bad memory for Bitter Wings. She just needed to get close enough. (It would be easier said than done; Nanami knew this.)

Orochimaru’s hands came up to form an unfamiliar seal.

His fingers were shaking.

* * *

“Is this guy even human!” Naruto shouted in alarm as he threw himself backwards- right into Sakura.

Kakashi saw her eyes widen and her muffled “Idiot!” as the two collided. He resisted the urge to facepalm.

The Akatsuki member who stood calmly before them rose an eyebrow at him, as if to say, “Seriously?”

Kakashi just shrugged at the dark-skinned man, completely at a loss as to how to explain his students lack of spacial awareness.

There was another, horrendous  _ crack-snap _ and a large, black creature made of threads rose from the man’s exposed back.

It wore a white mask like the other, which hovered to the left; both of the creatures waited patiently for orders.

The ground between them hissed and smoked from the fire that had resulted from the first things arrival. It had completely obliterated the wood Tenzo had been holding the man in place with.

Kakashi felt his trepidation rise into his throat.

_ Shit _ . How many of those things did he have?

His gaze wandered for only a split second towards where he knew Team Ten’s location was, and he could feel Asuma’s familiar chakra signature headed towards them at what he assumed was the top speed his students could reach.

He hoped they would get here soon- his current team lacked the cohesion to fight an opponent of this caliber.

In the opposite direction, the copy-nin noted that the sounds of battle had silenced and he wondered what that meant for Sasuke.

“He’s stalling.” Tenzo breathed heavily, chakra depletion creeping up on the man. Thus far his kekkei genkai had only provided a lot of firewood for their opponent.

Kakashi grunted in acknowledgement.

The real question though, was why an Akatsuki member would want to distract them from a battle between the last Uchiha and one of their former members. Something told him this probably had to do with the little kid that trailing along after them.

Her involvement with Sasuke made him nervous, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to think of that.

Was she out to help him, or hinder him?

Mismatched eyes caught disturbing acid green and deep red, and he suppressed a shudder of unease.

He needed to get over there as soon as possible.

* * *

  
Omake

Nanami squinted at the handful of berries Tobi had handed her. They were a nice purple colour, a shade that reminded her of a certain Jashinist’s eye colour…

But it was more than that. There was something about these berries, something that rang familiar in the back of her mind. She couldn’t quiet place what it was though.

Nanami took a delicate sniff of the handful of sustenance Tobi had handed her. The man himself had retreated back towards the campfire, leaving Nanami to her own devices.

“These taste like shit, un.” Deidara said from where he sat in a squishy pile of grass. He made an interesting face, somewhere between disgust and consideration before popping another one into his mouth.

“Where did you get these Tobi?” Nanami asked carefully, plucking one from her palm and rolling it between her fingers. When she squeezed hard enough it oozed a liquidy black juice. The smell became even more pungent.

Like rotten bananas and aloe.

It certainly didn’t seem appealing enough to eat.

“Tobi collected them from that tree vine we passed on the way here.” The man in question chirped, shoving a handful of the icky things underneath his mask with a black gloved hand.

“Eww…” He said a moment later, the eye hole to his mask peering closing at his hand as if it had betrayed him.

Nanami stilled at his words and turned to look at the man with an incredulous expression.

“The vines with the star-shaped leaves?” She asked slowly. Tobi nodded vigorously, and in response Nanami was on her feet in a flash and slapping the berries out of Deidara’s hand.

“Don’t eat them!” She cried in a panic. Deidara’s mouth dropped open in a half formed protest and one of the chewed on things rolled off his tongue and plopped onto his lap.

His face crumpled into despair.

“Are they poisonous?” He asked her, and then immediately turned on Tobi.

“You fucking poisoned us, un! What the hell is wrong with you!” Tobi leap to his feat, his pile of berries littering the ground around him to lie forgotten until some other foolish beast came along to eat them.

“Tobi didn’t know!” He cried, waving his arms up and down.

_ Yeah, right. _

“It’s okay, we can fix this.” Nanami tried to placate Burning Earth with little hands and soft gestures. 

“You know a cure?” He sounded hopeful.

“Noo…” She hedged looking away. “But they won’t kill you, just…” she trailed off, shoot and disgruntled look at Swirly Face. 

“Just, what, un?” He prompted.

“You’ll be a bit… delirious for a few hours. Unless you can make yourself throw up before you digest them.”

Deidara was up in a flash, stalking toward Tobi who had his hands up in the universal ‘I surrender’ gesture as he backed away from his teammate. Burning Earth cocked his arm back with a thunderous expression and punched the man in the gut hard enough for him to double over.

He didn’t vomit though.

Too bad.

Four hours later found Nanami chasing after Burning Earth in a futile attempt to get him to put his pants back on.

“I can’t!” He  _ screamed _ , as if his pants were the most horrifying and vile thing he’d ever seen. (Thankfully, he had boxers on. Cute blue ones with little white doves all over them.)

His blue irises were completely swallowed by the massive black of his pupils. He was covered in sweat.

“Nanami! Quick, put them down, un!” He whipped around so quickly she startled to a halt. Burning Earth lunged for her, tackling her to the ground and ripped the offending article of clothing from her hands before throwing them for all he was worth.

The pants gently fluttered to the ground two feet away. 

He gasped dramatically and leapt backwards before turning on heel once more and darting off into the brush.

Nanami sat up, rubbing her butt where she had landed. “Ow.” She said to no one.

Except Swirly Face who was lounging on a tree branch above her. She’d never seen the man look so… relaxed.

He swished a black gloved hand in the air idly, humming a tune she didn’t recognize.

“You okay Swirly Face?” She called up hesitantly. He gave a lackadaisical, “Mm-hmm.” before going back to humming softly.

Well, at least someone was having a nice night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN has been cross-posted form FF.net
> 
> Inspiration for the wolf-lamb comparison to the Nanami-Sasuke link came from here:   
> www . youtube . com / watch?v=8LfUP_9TpMI (Just remove the spaces) 
> 
> I like it enough that y’all will probably see it again.  
> Please review and let me know what you think! 
> 
> I’d also like to mention that the last chapter brought us over 400 reviews and 700 favorites! Thank you all so much for all your kind words and inspirations! I am beyond pleased, and humbled that my story has garnered this much attention. Honestly, I really hadn’t expected it to get this far, but here we are and I can’t thank you all enough.  
> The new image cover for this fiction was created by RaeneeAutumn, she did a fantastic job!  
> There is also a new Poll on my Author’s page concerning this fic if anyone is interested.


	44. Ashes on Wool

Chapter Forty-Four: Ashes on Wool

“I know that everyone needs to go. But don’t everyone go, don’t everyone go at once...” -Modest Mouse

“I wonder how they see me…” Lamb murmured softly. “Ashes on wool.” Wolf gruffed in return.

* * *

“Ka- _ ku- _ **_zu!_ ** ”

The man in question gave an inaudible sigh before pausing his forward momentum enough to turn and look towards the line of trees.

Hatake Kakashi took advantage of the short reprieve by dragging the barely conscious young girl with pink hair away from the line of fire. Kakuzu didn’t care. If the man wanted to waste his time saving useless shinobi let him.

Although her strength had been impressive, her chakra reserves were garbage. Not much better than Nanami’s, and that was really saying something. Pinky had much better chakra control though, but that didn’t really matter to Kakuzu either.

A flock of birds burst from the treetops along with a group of four shinobi. A blond girl and a large boy had stricken expressions; the other two seemed to be holding it together better. Regardless, all of them appeared hassled and fearful.

This was a common marker for Hidan’s involvement with most people.

The Kyuubi Jinchuriki called out a long string of names to the group that Kakuzu didn’t care to remember.

He hoped Nanami finished quickly. He was losing his patience.

Hidan exploded through a tree, cleaving it clean in half with a powerful downward stroke of his three pronged scythe. The white haired man gave a loud whoop of excitement as he landed on the ground with light feet.

He paused briefly, violet eyes sweeping over the gathered shinobi before trotting over to Kakuzu, completely dismissing the Konoha-nin.

Kakuzu watched him approach with an unimpressed look.

“Where is Nanami.” Kakuzu grunted the second he saw his nuisance of a partner open his massive mouth.

Hidan scowled at him before waving his hand vaguely in the direction he knew the Uchiha brat and the deserter were trading blows.

“I don’t know what the fuck she’s up to but she chased after the Uchiha.” Hidan told him. Out of the corner of his eye he watched the gathering of Konoha-nin regroup, the blond girl made a beeline for the pink one and dragging her off towards the treeline. The droopy-eyed Mokuton user looked ready to follow under the direction of Hatake. A haggard looking ninkin danced from foot to foot in a small anxious movement at Hatake's feet. 

Kakuzu wondered if he might have the opportunity to collect the copy-nin’s bounty; at least that would make this whole thing worth his time. He had a sizable price on his head. He knew several collectors in Iwa that would pay an arm and a leg to have his corpse.

The sun would be coming up soon Kakuzu noted idly. Dawn was turning the edges of the distant horizon a dusty grey, the bottoms of fat clouds not quite ready to rain yet reflected a dull red in combination with the fires burning behind them and the rising sun. 

Hidan made a distressed noise that caught his attention and acid green eyes slid over to look at the younger man.

He was making a strange expression, as if he were disgusted and shocked at the same time. Hidan’s mouth opened and Kakuzu held back another sigh; hopefully the leaf-nin would get their shit together and they could continue the battle so he wouldn’t have to listen to Hidan.

“You don’t think she- she- fucking, likes him or something?” Hidan stumbled over his own words.

Kakuzu gave the man a flat look. “You are an idiot.”

The blond Jinchuriki stepped towards them, much to the alarm of his companions. He held up a fist in a threatening motion that Kakuzu didn’t find particularly impressive and started yelling.

“What does Nanami want with Sasuke?”

Holy crap, this kid was as loud as Hidan.

Not to be outdone, Hidan whirled on the boy with a cackle and a too-wide smile. “Shut your fucking face dipshit.” 

Kakuzu recognized the deflection for what it was; because neither he, nor Hidan had any idea what the answer to that question was. Then again he rarely ever understood what motivated that girl to do anything she did.

The blond kid didn’t seem to realize this however and his blue eyes darkened a few shades; his whisker markings taking on a jagged edge.

Hidan licked his lower lip, an anticipatory gesture that Kakuzu found both abhorrent and disgusting.

“Naruto.” Hatake stepped forward, away from the other jounin that had joined them in the large grassy field. 

Hidan adjusted his grip on his weapon; the long chain clinked together with the chime of metal. His violet gaze intent on the group before them. Kakuzu noticed however, that his obnoxious partners gaze seemed to keep sliding towards one of the younger shinobi.

A boy with spiky hair and almond shaped eyes.

“Nanami really wants that one dead.” Hidan said, turning back to him with a pointed finger at the kid. Kakuzu felt something akin to surprise flash through him, but he kept the feeling to himself. Nanami had never particularly shown a desire for blood simply for its own sake; if she wanted that kid dead she probably had a reason.

The leaf-nin all stiffened, some glances were quickly thrown at the boy.

“Shikamaru?” Naruto questioned at a slightly lower volume, to which the boy gave a disgruntled look and a one-shoulder shrug.

Hidan’s grin took on a feral edge, and Kakuzu recognized it as the one he got before he did something incredibly stupid.

“She said he’s the Nara.”

Aa, that explained that then.

“What does the Child of Akatsuki have against my family?” Shikamaru called out to them, a calculating look in his dark eyes.

Hidan gave a bark of laughter that startled Naruto and had the exhausted Mokuton user inching back another step. The dog summons shot the two of them a nervous look before dismissing itself with a puff of white smoke under the copy-nin’s direction.

“Not your family.” Kakuzu humored the boy.

“Just you, you little fucker.” Hidan added with a low giggle. 

* * *

When Shikamaru had been a young child, whether or not he would join the ranks of Konoha’s shinobi had never really been a question. His father was a great asset to his village, the Jounin Commander and a veteran of the last war. Well, to be fair most of the previous generation were veterans of the last war, but his father had played a key role in more than one battle’s tactical advantage. He’d earned two field promotions in less than three years, and had become Jounin Commander shortly before he’d married Shikamaru’s mother.

His mother… was a fearsome woman. 

Sharp and pointed, a firm believer in ‘actions speak louder than words’ and at complete odds with the lackadaisical nature of her husband and son. She had never become a jounin; retiring at the rank of chunin, but anyone would be a fool to miss the deadly edge of experience to her steps.

He loved his family dearly; they were his guideposts, his light when he lost his way.

So, no. It really never had occurred to him that he could just,  _ not _ become a shinobi. He was born for it, bred for it. He’d always thought he had the right mind for it .

Sharp like his mother, quick to learn like his father.

But as these things usually are, Shikamaru had been told on many occasions that it took more than just this, but he had never really comprehended their meaning until now. 

Eyes wide and leaning farther back onto his elbows from his vulnerable position on the ground in a futile effort to add space between his neck and the wicked curve of the scythe.

He was cornered. The other Akatsuki’s strange black elemental creatures pushing back his comrades from reaching him in time. (Somewhere he could hear Naruto screaming his head off) It was as if the two criminals hadn’t even needed to speak to each other to flesh out a plan that would separate the Konoha-nin. Shikamaru had always though cooperation to this degree was a staple of his own village; he certainly hadn’t expected this seamless kind of strategy from these two.

His wire traps lay in shreds around him, useless in the face of this man who hurdled forward without a thought or care for his own well being; as if death was only a nuisance he could shrug off.

Shikamaru could predict a lot of things- but this man was seemingly immortal, and that was not something he would have considered within the realm of realistic no matter how fantastic he knew shinobi could become.

It was in this moment that Shikamaru realized how arrogant he had been. Arrogant to think that he had understood what a real battle would be like, what it meant to leap at someone with steady hands and the intent to kill.

He lacked experience, he hadn’t given himself enough time adjust and learn what his opponent was capable of. He’d allowed himself to become separated from his teammates.

Maybe, if he had known when he was a much younger child that he would die like this he would have chosen a different path.

He chuckled lowly under panting breaths and the Akatsuki’s crazed violet eyes crinkled at the corners when his grin widened in response.

_ Probably not though. _

* * *

Hidan enjoyed games. He liked to play with his food and play with his opponents.

This boy was no exception. 

Hidan’s eyes stung from flash tags and his skin hissed where it was healing from explosive ones, overall he thought the boy was probably a lot smarter than he was.

Given enough time, he could see Nanami’s prediction coming true. With enough preparations and forethought he supposed this boy would be capable of putting together a plan that could exploit the only crack in his defense; this Nara seemed sharp enough to find it.

But right now, with Nanami’s forewarning, the child with eyes wide with fear and sweat slicking down his brow was nothing but that; a child.

Hidan’s scythe came swinging down.

* * *

In the space between one breath and the next Sasuke’s mind shifted into place. There was an involuntary blink and then another that registered more fully.

His muscles were on  _ fire _ . Every breath was agony as his body moved under the gentle, but demanding pressure of Nanami’s chakra.

He thought he had at least two broken ribs, his left eye was throbbing and swollen shut and his right was drawing on chakra like a fish on land gasping for air. There wasn’t anything left, but that didn’t stop his sharingan from sucking up the dregs.

Sasuke cut the flow immediately, the pains of chakra depletion already in full swing. He didn’t want to die from something as pathetic as chakra exhaustion. 

The last Uchiha griped his short sword in one hand, he had no recollection of retrieving it from where Orochimaru had ripped it from his grasp at the beginning of their fight but he supposed it didn't matter now.

His ears filled with the sound of roaring fire, his one good eye seeking through the clouds of smoke and upset duty earth.

His arm trembled, fingers gripping tighter around the hilt of his sword in an attempt to control his exhausted muscles. He stumbled forward a step and a scowl immediately set itself firm onto his features over the display of weakness. 

Uchiha Sasuke  _ was not weak. _

“Did you think I would meet you again so unprepared little girl?” Orochimaru’s soft hissing filled his ears behind him, barely audible over the raging fire and cracking trees. The triumph in the Sannin’s voice had dread dripping down his spine.

Slowly he turned, Nanami’s chakra sputtering weakly in his mind and relaxing its grip enough to free him from her influence. (He bottled up the familiar rage that single realization had boiling inside him for a more appropriate moment.)

Nanami was afraid. He could feel her still, as if he were looking at the naked expression on her face, or even more than that it was as if he was producing the feeling himself.

It was hard to tell if it was his fear or hers. Sasuke gave a small shake to his head, not enough to draw any attention to himself but enough to try to dislodge the sensation of the child’s emotions. (It of course, did nothing.) A cloud of soot fell from his disarrayed hair to dust gently across his already ash covered shoulders.

A dark, vicious kind of feeling that Sasuke was all too familiar with rolled through him. It was ugly, and hateful and oh so triumphant; Nanami must have something ready for Orochimaru as well. It was with this sensation permeating their link that his good eye found the two very different combatants a scant inch from one another.

They were just as filthy as he was, both torn and ragged looking. It seemed he’d come to just in time to witness the last leg of the fight.

His scowl deepened.

Nanami’s hands were clapped to either side of Orochimaru’s face, extended by the neck as it was with long teeth just barely removing themselves from her neck.

Black ink began to swirl across her flesh, dark and contrasting to its porcelain surface.

Blood trailed between snake fangs and the little girls skin but she didn't look bothered by it. She hardly seemed to notice at all in fact. There was a look in her eyes, a kind of expression that didn't suit her features; cheeks still slightly plump with baby fat and round, doe eyes.

The last of the chakra she had been feeding towards himself snapped away, leaving Sasuke momentarily reeling by the sudden loss of it.

And then the Sannin was shrieking, a loud keening sound like a dying animal that quickly tapered off into a gurgle as blood began to well from the snake mans mouth and spill across the girl.

“Me either.” Nanami murmured, her eyes never leaving the quickly darkening gold of Sasuke’s former mentor's eyes.

Orochimaru's head slipped from between her hands to land heavily on the ground, the sound it made completely smothered by the sound of a tree crashing to the ground in the distance.

Sasuke coughed raggedly, as if his body was just now realizing it didn't like inhaling a bunch of smoke. The involuntary reflex had his ribs in further agony, and he pulled his tattered sleeve in front of his face in an attempt to block the smoke filled air from suffocating him.

“Nanami.” He called to the girl, taking another precarious few steps towards her. She blinked and turned towards him, doe brown eyes hazy and tired.

“Bitter Wings” She greeted him like an old friend when he arrived at her side, and he was unsure how to receive her familiarity with him. Half of him hated it, and the other half felt it was perfectly acceptable.

“I think I’m going to pass out.” She told him, distinctly sounding like she was perfectly fine. But then her eyes rolled into the back of her head, just as she reached up to clap a hand over the mark that Orochimaru had gifted her with.

Sasuke was left as the only one standing (barely) with two unresponsive bodies at his feet.

He held in a sigh.

It came out more like a huff of irritation anyways.

The next five minutes found the Uchiha hacking off the Sannin’s unnaturally long neck without the aid of chakra. A difficult matter with all the bone and muscle in the way. Sasuke knew a severed head probably wouldn't hinder the man on a good day, but he seemed dead enough and he supposed it didn’t hurt to make assurances. 

He tossed the head into the fire burning around the outer circle of the battle field; his good eye squeezed tightly shut against the smoke it spewed into the world around it.

When he reached Nanami again, he gave a few long moments of consideration to just leaving her there before deciding against it.

_ Why? _

He didn't want to think about that right now. So he didn’t. (Mostly it was because he didn’t know  _ why; _ he just knew that he couldn't leave her. He _ couldn’t. _ ) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, been a hot minute hasn’t it? Sorry for the long wait, as always nothing is abandoned I just have a lot going on atm.
> 
> So this chapter was pretty vague at some important points, partly because i’m being purposefully obtuse and partly because i want to leave you wondering. You’ll get all your nitty gritty details in the next chapter and so forth.
> 
> So, what do you guys think Orochimaru did to Nanami that he was so confident about?
> 
> Also, is Shikamaru dead?
> 
> ...I wonder…
> 
> Leave me a review with your thoughts and ideas because I want to eat them for breakfast.
> 
> Also a little while ago i posted a one shot story about an OC/SI i found in my google docs, it’s pretty dark and grungy but if you like that sort of thing go check it out! It’s titled “Fugue”.
> 
> Thanks to all my readers and reviewers for sticking with me through this fic, see you at the next chapter! (Which i'm working on right now and i swear won't take 2 months to post.)


	45. Sleep at Last

Chapter Forty-Five: Sleep at Last

“Well, you can sink down deeply- and find the children lost at sea. Find the children who, discreetly, were killed in infancy. To stop them holding you and screaming, that you’ll lose your wildest dreaming.” -Lifeforms, Daughter

* * *

  
-Several Days Earlier-

Orochimaru folded his arms over his chest, hands slipping into the opposite sleeves in a well practiced motion. There was a bustle of activity behind him as a few men went about moving test equipment and bringing in his next subject. Orochimaru paid them no mind for now; his subjects would wait as long as he demanded they do so.

There was a low moaning sound as the man from Kumo was strapped to the table, drugged to his ears and one of Orochimaru’s more valuable test subjects concerning this particular experiment.

He needed to get this right if he was going to have the opportunity to capture the child. He has spent a brief amount of time considering just killing her, a dead subject was better than none after all; but he really didn’t want to risk losing any valuable information her still flowing chakra would provide.

But, therein lay the issue of course.

He wasn’t stupid. He had seen the end results of what she had done to Sasuke-kun, and he had a decent hypothesis on _how_ she had brought him to that state. Still, he couldn’t risk her being able to do the same thing to him. That just wouldn’t do.

With impassive features that belied his churning thoughts the Sannin unrolled a large scroll; sketchings of a variety of seals packed tightly across its surface. He placed a scalpel on the end of it to keep it from rolling back up again as he considered the markings and the different combinations he could try to achieve the result he wanted.

His first attempt accidently killed the Kumo sensor he had gone to questionable lengths to procure, and it left him feeling frustrated despite the knowledge that the first attempt was rarely successful.

(Orochimaru did not enjoy failure, as much as he recognized it was necessary to achieve success.)

Golden eyes surveyed the dead man before him, chakra still and quickly ebbing away as the soul left the body.

Orochimaru made a length of notes at the bottom of the quickly growing list of notes on his clipboard.

He had started off with a common seal array that could be found in almost any village’s T&I department, stamped firmly across metal and bound tightly to prisoner's wrists.

It was a simple matter for him to adjust the array to block out the subjects awareness of outside chakra instead of internal, but somehow he had overlapped something that shouldn't have been and instead of blocking out the subjects sensor abilities it had clamped down on his internal chakra reservoir and killed the man's core from the inside.

A neat trick but not what he was looking to accomplish.

Perhaps a visit to his protege was in order? He needed more information if he was going to contrive a seal from scratch for the sole purpose of bringing that child to heel.

* * *

-Now-

Shikamaru grunted at the sudden weight against his chest, and it took him a few, precious seconds to register what had just happened. A long time for a Nara, a long time for the boy who was renown for his quick mind.

This however, this was probably the last thing he had expected to happen in the moments he had squeezed his eyes shut against the inevitability of his death. He was a trained shinobi, from a prestigious clan of Konoha; and still, he couldn’t find the courage to watch the weapon plunge into his chest.

Something hot and wet was pouring down his side, and for a moment Shikamaru thought that perhaps he had died too quickly to feel any pain and his blood was pooling out around him.

But no, he realized quickly. This blood wasn’t his.

“Chouji?” It came out like a confused whimper.

The insane Akatsuki made an unhinged sound, rusty and cackling in a way that set his teeth on edge in an instinctive warning.

Chouji made a gurgling sound, crimson spreading across the seam of his lips before it began to spill down his best friends chin.

The two boys looked at each other with wide eyes, and Chouji, bless his heart, managed to curl bloodied lips into some semblance of a reassuring smile before his always bright eyes swirled with darkness.

Chouji’s arms shook for a moment before the remainder of his weight fell forward onto Shikamaru, pinning him to the ground. The topmost blade of the red scythe pierced the back of Chouji’s neck, the tip peeking out from the hollow of his best friend's throat.

For what seemed like an eternity, Shikamaru did nothing except lay on the cold hard ground and experience the sensation of hot blood rolling down his skin.  

 _Shock. He was in shock._ He knew this, just as he registered that voices were screaming. Shrieks of rage and despair crying out for his teammate to get up, stand up-

_“Chouji!”_

The sound of Ino’s voice confused him enough to roll his head in her direction, brows furrowed. She was running towards him from the cover of the tree line. An exhausted Sakura watched from behind her, a jounin he didn’t recognize with a firm hand on the medic’s shoulder.

Ino tripped over nothing, pupiless eyes wild with grief and she ran full-tilt into danger, her long blond hair swishing behind her.

“Ino! _No!”_

Shikamaru had never heard Asuma-sensei raise his voice before, and it was enough to jolt Shikamaru into realizing that his remaining teammate was headed right for him- right for the missing-nin that was tugging his bladed weapon from his friends body with an arc of blood.

The Akatsuki watched Ino coming with a crooked grin and bright, violet eyes.

The youngest Nara’s unpinned arm shot out across the dirt, smoothing across the rough surface in search of the wire he knew hadn’t fallen too far from where he was. With some effort, he crawled out from underneath the body of- Shikamaru choked down a sob.

He heaved for breath, his own eyes probably a mirror of Ino’s wild look.

Hot skin found cold metal and Shikamaru shoved himself upwards, chest tight and throat constricting in grief and desperation.

 _Ino._ He couldn’t lose Ino too.

The Akatsuki’s back was to him as his female teammate got closer by the second, and Shikamaru didn't hesitate to take advantage of it even as the man’s red scythe rose into the air, ready to rend flesh in half.

Ino didn’t even seem to notice, her eyes locked solely on Chouji.

Shikamaru refused to look down.

* * *

Kakuzu scoffed with no small amount of derision as he watched the Nara boy get to his feet behind Hidan from the corner of his eye.

His partner really was an idiot.

Not as stupid as the Konoha girl though, she was clearly trying to get herself killed.

Kakuzu unfolded his arms as he swung his body to the left on reflex to dodge another carelessly thrown barrage of kunai from the blond Jinchuriki.

Is this all Konoha had to offer these days?

_Pathetic._

“Now!” The boy screamed, gaining all of Kakuzu’s attention. Acid green eyes narrowed on the boy as he made a nonsensical hand seal that he recognized heralded the mass of shadow clones the boy seemed to favor.

As he expected a mass of twenty clones poofed into existence and the Taki-nin scowled. Was this kid going to continue to do the same thing over and over? Was he stupid?

The _crack-snap-snap_ of his Kinjutsu creatures sounded across the field as another blazing hot ball of fire scorched its way across the dry earth towards the charging blond clones.

Only for something to smash into his side. His mask tore from his face and his clothing whipped to the side as his feet left the ground. Kakuzu's eyes widened in surprise and he sucked in an involuntary breath- except that there was no air, only water.

He growled without sound as his Air Kinjutsu blasted a hole through the stream of water that had managed to swallow him.

He landed hard on his feet  onto soaked earth with a squelch. He knew without looking that the mass of stitches across his body began to ripple with irritation. Kakuzu spat water onto the ground with a harsh glare at the copy-nin who stood farther off, hands held together in the final seal of whatever jutsu he had used.

_This was really starting to piss him off._

Hidan’s hysterical laughter distracted him once again and Kakuzu’s fury smoldered even hotter at the sound of his teammate. A quick glance revealed the young Nara had managed to tear one of his arms off with nothing but a roll of wire.

But not before Hidan had impaled the idiot blond girl and flung her like a rag doll clear past were the pink haired one stood with wide, horrified eyes. Kakuzu didn’t spare her a thought outside of the fact that she had practically run herself onto the end of Hidan’s scythe herself.

The jounin that had shown up with the three children made a distressed choking sound next to the Copy-Nin. Kakuzu noted that the man’s hands were shaking. He had probably been their Jounin-sensei.

Well, if the man made it out of this alive perhaps he’d teach the next batch of bratlings better. Nanami was a clear example that children could live up to something worth Kakuzu’s time. These Konoha children were just a waste of the air they breathed.

“Ino…” The jounin murmured just within Kakuzu’s range of hearing, right before angry eyes turned on him. This didn’t surprise Kakuzu as he was the obstacle standing between the adults and the weaker members of their entourage.

It did serve however to make a small, practically miniscule trickle of trepidation enter his thoughts. Up until this point, the second jounin had solely focused on getting past him, and hadn’t yet engaged.

Kakuzu was an S-class shinobi, over a hundred years old and experienced from more battles than he could count. All this served to bring him an intimate understanding of his limits; and facing sharingan Kakashi, a quickly devolving Kyuubi Jinchuuriki and the jounin-sensei to now two dead kids was pushing it.

(People could get stupid over their kids, Kakuzu knew this first hand.)

He needed Hidan to quit dicking around and get with the program. Fat chance of that happening though. His partner was much to preoccupied with the little Nara kid.

He grunted lowly in irritation. This would be a good time for a tactical retreat; but he had something at stake. Something worth risking his much too long life over. A small glance towards where the deserter Akatsuki chakra signute still raged in the distance told him Nanami wasn’t ready yet. Smoke plumed into the sky, dark and cloying.

He brought his attention to the matter at hand and mentally readied every skill he knew to buy her more time.

Hatake’s eye began to spin faster and Kakuzu flared his chakra into jagged patterns to ward off any genjutsu the man might be trying to trap him in.

Behind him Hidan made a low humming sort of noise that he had only heard the man make when overly distressed about the smallest of their members.

It grabbed his attention faster than anything the man could have said and acid green eyes swept across the tree line in search of her, only to realize that Kakashi wasn’t actually looking at him- but behind him.

His shoulders sagged slightly before he even realized he had become tense.

Of course. Hidan had no defense against genjutsu.

The man really was an idiot.

“Nanami?” Hidan whimpered, his scythe rolling from his remaining hand to clatter uselessly against the ground.

* * *

Tobi watched the young Nara’s shadow creep towards Hidan with amusement.

His unusual purple eyes were glazed, and Tobi’s sharingan could clearly see the cloud of strong chakra that held the man underneath a basic Hell Viewing genjutsu.

What would they do now?

His silent question was answered when Kakuzu leapt backwards and snatched at the cuff of Hidan’s cloak as if he were picking up a petulant puppy by the scruff. Smooth cut bone was protruding from the man’s severed arm, but he hadn’t seemed to pay it any actual thought outside of his regular complaints about the pain.

Tobi didn’t think he’d ever really understand Hidan.

(He wondered if Hidan even understood Hidan.)

The Nara boy dropped his shadow, the two Akatsuki now too far out of his range to reach as Kakuzu gave a sharp jab of chakra to snap Hidan out of whatever Kakashi had chosen to show the man. The flash of despair through purple eyes as the chakra cloak faded from around him suggested to Tobi that whatever it had been- it was clearly unpleasant.

Kakuzu looked pissed off with what Tobi would have assumed was a permanent scowl if he hadn’t caught the man quirking miniscule smiles at the brat before.

Tobi hummed a mildly interested sound.

Two young ones dead, another two retreating with weak chakra signatures, and four left.

If the Konoha-nin knew what was good for them they’d retreat.

But Tobi knew that look in Kakashi’s eyes, and as red began to bubble over the hunched form of the blond Jinchuriki he knew this wouldn’t be ending just yet.

* * *

She dropped her weapon.

_She dropped her fucking weapon._

Irrationally she spared a second to hope that Swirly Face, wherever he might be, hadn’t seen that. She’d never live it down.

Nanami’s thoughts quickly centered back to reality as she ducked beneath the swipe of a water clone and make a quick roll across the ash blanketed ground in an attempt to reach said dropped weapon.

Her fingers brushed against the chains, the metal made hot from the fire around them, only to snatch the appendage back as a kunai thunked into the soil between her and her destination.

In the next millisecond Sasuke was swooping her up again without even a grunt of effort despite the fact that she knew he had at least one broken rib. Maybe two.

His skin was burning.

She glanced up, the wind from his speed sweeping her ashy locks away from her face and caught his eye- sort of. His one good eye had a very vacant look, the pupil blown wide inside the spinning tomoe. His chest rose and fell against her back in even, purposeful motions that told her even his subconscious was aware of the pain. His other eye had stopped bleeding but still remained closed, useless and a mystery to her as to how he had come to receive the injury.

Sasuke dropped her unceremoniously in the next instant, his short sword coming up to deflect a barrage of senbon gleaming with some sort of purple substance from thunking into the flesh of her leg.

Nanami glanced back behind them as Sasuke inched between her and the form of Orochimaru’s water clone, her eyes sweeping for the real man and her fallen weapon.

She caught the glint of snake scales to their left, but her weapon was probably buried in soot by now.

Kakuzu would be so disappointed in her if he found out what a shit show this confrontation had turned into.

 _“Always know the facts before you make a decision.”_ His gruff voice floated through her mind, making her lips twitch into a soft smile involuntarily. Well, she’d failed that tidbit of advice the second she’d left home to chase after her little lost Uchiha. Sometimes her obsessive character trait didn’t leave a lot of room for forethought.

Nanami reached out on reflex with a tendril of chakra for said Uchiha on the thought of him, only for the world to stutter to a sudden halt around her.

Even the dust and ash motes hung suspended in the air as Nanami bit down on her breath, holding it tight in her lungs under the force of her shock.

_Where was all the chakra._

Any of it- all of it- Sasuke's, Orochimaru’s- the trees, the ground, the air, _anything!_ Nothing. _There was no chakra anywhere._

Nanami made a strangled choking noise. The images around her faded and black ink began to circle across her neck in a sensation that was not unlike having Hidan carve pictures into her flesh with his scythe.

She hardly noticed this, to consumed with the sudden loss of a sense she had lived with her entire life. It was for her as if she had lost the ability to see, so ingrained was her ability to sense chakra. (Even in her sleep.)

Her own internal chakra core flickered wearily; the only signature she could find. Nanami was alone, and that scared her more than anything in that moment.

“Please let this be a dream.” She murmured in the quiet, her little hand seeking Sasuke’s in the sudden dark. Her hand met warm flesh despite the fact that there was nothing to see.

* * *

Sasuke felt her skin slide across his and the contact made him twitch with discomfort. Still, he let her fingers curl loosely around his wrist.

She wasn’t particularly heavy, even without the aid of chakra, but Sasuke was tired and his injuries did him no favors either. Sweat made his clothing cling to him and he could feel the grit of dirt and ash slide between layers. It put his teeth on edge.

His next step faltered slightly and he had to adjust the child in his arms to keep from dropping her. He blinked and shook his head lightly before bracing his right shoulder against the rough bark of a tree. He slid down its length, doing his utmost to ignore the bend to his broken ribs. He grunted with the effort of bring himself down.

Nanami lay pliant across his legs in her unconscious state, but Sasuke knew her mind was working through something with feverish abandon. Her wild emotions curled around him flying from one extreme to the next. Luckily for him, they felt dull and distant in her unconscious state, but there all the same.

He wondered if he would ever be free of her.

(He wondered if he wanted to be.)

Idly, as his good eye and what little amount of sensor skill he had searched the area for any of her companions (and he fervently ignored who that meant he might have a run in with because he still couldn't put his finger on how he felt about that subject.) His fingers brushed curls of Nanami’s dirty hair away from her face.

It was quiet here, far enough away from the remnants of their battle that the air was clean of smoke. A few morning birds warbled softly to each other in the distance, and Sasuke’s tired mind wondered how far off dawn would be.

His eye slipped closed in an exaggerated blink. (because he would never admit he was falling asleep in a situation like this.)

And between one blink and the next; a form was crouched in front of him. The light was marginally brighter and Nanami had managed to curl both arms around his upright waist and lay her head on his thigh.

Sasuke’s back tensed, fingers itching towards the hilt of his chokuto while the other came up around Nanami’s back.

“Maa, maa. Is that any way to greet your sensei Sasuke-kun?”

* * *

  
Omake

This wasn’t her house.

Although there was an odd, distant sort of familiarity that made panic flash through the back of her mind. She didn’t want to think about this place, she didn’t want to dream about this place. She wanted _nothing to do with this-_

Thick blue carpet swallowed the sides of her bare feet, dirty and scuffed from running across tree tops. Her skin still smelled like smoke and she took comfort in the fact that at least her body was still Nanami.

She resisted the urge to chew at her lip and her hand came up to gasp her upper arm in an attempt to stave of the mild self harm. Her gaze swept across the hallway; it was clean, with off-white plaster walls and the plush blue carpet that stretched towards a bend and out of sight.

She took a silent step; achingly slow and careful.

Her head was pounding.

Her skin was hot.

She very carefully did not look at the picture frames on the walls. She knew what she would see. She didn’t want to remember, she had tried very hard not to think about any of this for two _entire lifetimes and she didn’t want to look-_

She took another step, and another, the front door was… somewhere. Maybe she could just leave- her throat was too tight, she couldn’t be here her brothers needed her-

A bright pink door on her right cracked open with a squeaking sound that made her flinch with its familiarity.

A tall head of brown hair poked out and his eyes caught hers. ( _A ghost, a specter, a thing long past)_

He didn’t seem to notice, or care that she was a stranger to him in this child’s body.

He held a finger up to his lips in a ‘shush’ gesture and stepped out into the hall. The man held the knob until the door was sealed before letting it turn into place to avoid the clicking sound. (She knew, she’d done that very thing a million times before. A million times she didn’t want to remember.)

“I thought he’d never get to sleep.” His voice rumbled lowly like thunder and he flashed her a lopsided grin slathered with self-satisfaction that he had managed to escape the room without waking the-

 **(** **_Don’t.)_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to iterate because some of my reviewers over at FF weren't sure but- at no point in this chapter is Nanami awake, as is implied by the title. She asleep for the whole thing. 
> 
> AN: Uh, hey guys. Been a hot minute hasn’t it? Things have been a bit… uh, well much this year. Honestly I won’t lie to you guys and say I’m totally back into the swing of writing this fic, but I am still writing. Quite a few things actually so I’m not totally AWOL. I’ve decided to take another turn with this arc which is really what’s brought about the interest again.  
> Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers who keep coming back even though it’s been damn near a year since my last post.  
> You’re all the reason I’m still here. Thank you, really.


	46. The Ants Go Marching

Chapter Forty-Six: The Ants Go Marching

This chapter has been Beta-ed by the fantabulous: Wistfuldaydream

“You echo from side to side, pacing in your clumsy balet. Based on the clothes and the books on the floor I don’t think this is even your place.” - Modest Mouse

* * *

Kakashi watched Sasuke’s eyes roll into the back of his head in a sudden bout of unconsciousness; the Jounin-sensei couldn’t say he blamed the boy.

The kid looked like absolute shit.

Orochimaru, or what Kakashi’s clone had actually managed to recover and seal, looked a lot worse.

The girl, so much smaller than any genin, clung tightly to the young Uchiha as if her little life depended on it. Sasuke seemed to return the embrace, even if it was with one arm. A strange, outlandish gesture from the Uchiha Clan Avenger.

Kakashi, for all that he was a grown ass man, felt an irrational flare of hatred for the child. Who was she to meddle with _his_ student. Who was she to accomplish what he had tried so hard to bring about in the boy for years?

Sasuke, for as long as anyone had known him, had never displayed a shred of empathy for anyone since the day his family had been buried. Then along comes this child who’s entire existence seems to be a contradiction; juxtaposed to shinobi life. It irritated him. It raked at his nerves because Kakashi was a smart man, and he didn’t like this unfamiliar feeling of not understanding.

His teeth fit together with a grinding motion as his jaw reflexively clenched and then relaxed behind his mask.

A blink, and the feeling was gone.

What was done was done, Kakashi couldn’t change the past, (his failures) no matter how heavy the guilt that weighed his shoulders down became.

Not that it mattered now anyways.

He moved quickly, gathered the small child to his chest, and turned to leave. Her chakra core weakly flickered; the unknown seal burning red hot against the skin of her soot-caked neck. He could feel the unnatural heat of her through his gloves. He didn’t need any medic training to recognize the fever that dusted across her face and caused her breath to come in shallow little pants. Her eyes roved franticly behind closed lids.

He left Sasuke there against that tree, because it wasn’t his orders to capture the deserter. (It wasn’t in Kakashi to bring him home kicking and screaming like Naruto insisted. As far as Kakashi was concerned, the boy had burned his bridges.)

Today, Sasuke was not his problem.

_“There is no point in bringing him home if he’s just going to leave again,”_ Tsunade’s resigned grumblings echoed in his head. _“It’s a waste of resources, doujutsu or not.”_

Kakashi had to agree; it was a waste of manpower.

For now.

He turned his back, eyes forward on the path that would eventually bring him home.

He needed to hurry. The girl was in critical condition and in need of a medic-nin. If he had the luxury of time, he might stop and attempt to unravel the seal on her neck, but as it was he knew his shadow clone would only fool the two Akatsuki for so long.

It was likely the two had already discovered his ruse. He could only hope Naruto, Shikamaru, and Asuma had managed enough destruction to buy him time.

That and he prayed Naruto hadn’t decided to be a knucklehead and throw the “flee at the signal” plan to the wind and keep fighting anyways. Knowing Naruto, it could be either. The boy was nothing if not unpredictable. The Kyuubi chakra cloak didn’t help one lick either, and without Tenzo readily available to keep Naruto in check, it was anyone’s best guess how that confrontation would turn out.

But Kakashi had his orders, and he had to trust his comrades to flee - even if Asuma had to knock Naruto out to do it.

Two klicks closer to Konoha had him pulling a kunai from his pouch, flicking it behind him on reflex and regaining his hold on the child before she even began to fall.

It thunked heavily into a tree, and Kakashi’s brain caught up with his reflexes as his eye snagged on the sight of the last thing he expected to see.

Sasuke leaned heavily against the same tree, filthy and panting for breath. His eye was weeping fresh blood and his free arm was hugging his middle, like the effort alone could hold what Kakashi knew must be broken ribs in place.

Kakashi said nothing, waiting for the boy to speak - to explain himself.

“You can’t take her,”  the Uchiha huffed between breaths. Petulant and demanding to the last.

Kakashi’s brow rose as the wings of surprise fluttered in his belly once again at the out of character display.

“I don’t think you’re really in any state to stop me Sasuke-kun,” he said gently, trapping the desperate _why_ behind mental walls. Now wasn’t the time. He absently adjusted the girls bulk in his arms, and didn’t miss the way Sasuke’s attention snapped to her. The strangest look crossing over his swollen, abused features.

(To Kakashi, world weary and wise despite his demeanor, it looked as if it might have been of concern, but that couldn’t possibly be correct.)

If Sasuke had been himself, the self that Kakashi knew him to be, that statement would have invoked anger and hatred.

_“Don’t treat me like a child!”_ a twelve year-olds voice rang through his mind. An echo of a time long past.

Instead, Sasuke’s features slackened with resignation; displaying a heretofore unseen capacity for acceptance, and dare he say - patience?

Kakashi’s brain floundered, unsure how to respond to the boy who was clearly not in his right state of mind. (He wasn’t sure yet if this was a good change, or why it had even come about.)

“Then I’m coming too.”

Kakashi felt his entire worldview tilt at the declaration.

“Okay,” he head himself say.

Because - _what the fuck?_

* * *

Normally when she woke, Nanami experienced a soft sort of shifting as her mind slowly rose to the surface. She could see familiar chakra moving all around her long before she opened her eyes. Some dreaming, some occupied in their own matters, others mixing together as they interacted, but it was always there. Familiar, serene, comforting. (Violent, abrasive, incorrigible.)

Her world, these men, confirmed all around her before her eyes even opened.

For the first time in her young life, Nanami awoke with a sensation like getting punched in the gut full force by an angry Oceans. There was no soft shift, no familiar chakra. (or any at all..?) It was sudden, jarring and _painful._

She groaned, ash caking her eyelashes, her skin on fire and body slathered in sweat.

The world exploded before her in colours and sounds; nothing fit as it should as her eyes opened and she saw but did not _see._

Someone was carrying her, (and she didn’t know _who_ because all she had were her eyes and she _hated it.)_ a smooth steady gait that glided more than walked, one arm under her curled legs and another around her back.

Her arms were numb, itching with pins and needles from the lack of blood flow.

Her head was pounding.

Everything hurt.

“Bitter Wings?” she murmured, and even that took great effort.

“Hm,” was the response, but the sound wasn’t right at all. Her brows furrowed and she spent a great deal of energy to lift an arm and grasp for a chest clad in a flowing cloak.

Her finger met fabric that was all wrong, a smattering of zippers and pockets and a rough texture that spoke of function and use for repeated wear.

What little of her thoughts she managed to drum up slammed to a halt long before she managed to actually turn her head and look at the mystery person.

Everything was all wrong.

Sunlight glinted off a sideways Konoha headband, rough from use and scratched. A shock of white-grey hair defying gravity’s pull rose in careless spikes.

The man’s one visible lazy eye curved in a weird sort of smile even though she could see the shadow of lips in a hard line beneath a skin tight black mask.

“Put me down.” she demanded weakly before her brain could catch up with her mouth.

Kakashi stopped walking, and even that small shift of momentum had burning discomfort rippling down her spine like fire.

“As you wish.” his tone of voice was cordial, pleasant even.

And he dropped her, literally.

She hit the ground with a hard thud and a scream of agony.

“Although I can’t imagine why you’d want me to.” he continued, casual as you please as she curled tight around herself in a ball of shivering pain, tucking in limbs and squeezing eyes shut.

The world blacked out the moment her eyes closed, and she found herself opening them back up as wide as she could. (Eye closed, there was no light, there was no chakra; life was chakra and if there is no chakra then that meant she was-)

A warm hand curled over her shoulder and wild eyes found the familiar shape of Bitter Wings. Something undefinable loosened inside her at the sight of him. He was just as dirty as she was; his other arm fisted tightly into the exposed flesh of his side that mottled an angry blue and purple across the exposed stretch of skin.

One side of his face was badly swollen. Dried blood flaking from the mess of his eye.

“Nanami,” he murmured her name, a soft sound.

Something in her mind clicked back into place beyond the panic and loss of one of her most heavily relied upon senses.

She breathed raggedly, coming back together to assess what was clearly a captive situation.

Sasuke’s good eye darkened, lips quirking ever so slightly at one corner as if he could hear her thoughts.

She supposed that even if she couldn’t feel the link between them, the look on his face told her it must still be there.

It made her feel marginally better.

Kakashi's shinobi sandal clad foot gently toed at her arm.

Sasuke held her gaze for a moment longer with a barely perceptible nod.

* * *

Izumo was having a terrible day. First, his alarm hadn’t gone off in time, and then he’d spilled his coffee all over his band new sandals. The lovely blue fabric was forever stained with the remnants of what would go down as The Day of Hell.

The coffee maker in the break room was empty, the can of grounds that always sat beside it suspiciously missing; an extra ten minute detour wasted. He knew he should have just stopped and bought some.

He sat down under the gate kiosk with a huff, wallowing in self pity another ten minutes later.

Kotetsu, who had probably arrived at their assigned post hours ago gave him a peeved look.

“Don’t ask,” Izumo pleaded.

Kotetsu opened his mouth, ready to let fly some sarcastic quip. Izumo was sure that it would have been a scathing one if it hadn’t been for the little dog summon that went flying through the gate at a speed that screamed _emergency!_

“Isn’t that Hatake-senpai's summon?” Kotetsu murmured instead, dark eyes following after the little pug as it made a beeline for the Hokage tower.

“He didn’t sign in,” Izumo said absently, but regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. Everyone was required to sign in. Shinobi, summons, civilians and their cattle. Everyone.

Kotetsu folded his arms over his chest and leaned further back into his seat. “I got here on time.” He deadpanned, making a statement without actually saying what he meant, as was the man’s way.

“Fine.” Izumo all but whined, getting up from the chair he had only just sat down in to follow after the dog.

The moment he got up to the Hokage’s waiting room he could hear her indefinable screaming from inside, and he knew his day was about to go from bad to worse. He hadn’t even had any coffee yet.

The door slammed open, making the young secretary at the sign-in desk jump. Izumo could see the pug panting on the floor behind Tsunade as it caught its breath.

Her imposing form took up the archway, eyes scanning the room before alighting on him.

_Fuck._

“Get over here Kamizuki, I’ve got a lot of paperwork and not a lot of patience.” He bowed his head in acceptance as she turned to her secretary.

The man’s pen stilled under her scrutiny.

“Get Morino Ibiki up here now, and I mean an hour ago!” she barked causing the man to jump to his feet and begin gathering papers on his desk in a flurry of motion.

“Leave it!” the Hokage snapped again in irritation and papers rained from the secretary’s arms in a  flutter of mess to layer across the floor.

He turned and ran for the door.

“Hoshi-san.” Tsunade’s posture shifted subtly as she called for what Izumo could only assume was the secretary’s name. The man paused at the outer door confirming it.

“Yes ma’am?” he said hesitantly.

“Best bring up Akimichi Chouza and Yamanaka Inoichi while you’re at it.” her tone of voice marginally softer, tinged with something Izumo didn’t want to examine too closely.

As a daily gate guard, he was all too aware that the children of both men were out on a mission. Although Inoichi did work in the T&I department with Ibiki, somehow he doubted that was the reason for the call.

Hoshi-san hesitated a moment too long. “Should I get a medic?” he warbled slowly, and Izumo had to force himself not a face palm.

“I am a fucking medic!” Tsunade screeched, her face turning a shade of red that usually only appeared when she was beyond sloshed.

The man was out the door and tripping down the stairs beyond before Izumo could even blink.

And so began The Day of Hell.

* * *

Kakashi did his best not to think about the weight of the girl lying limp on his back. Small, fragile and burning hot enough to make his own skin sweat despite the crispness to the air.

It was stretching into late afternoon, the sun high above the canopies that served as their highway, and not a single sign of Akatsuki had reared its head. Kakashi wondered where the stroke of luck had come from, but couldn’t help feeling wary of it.

Beside him, Sasuke stumbled for the umteenth time. A grunt of exhaustion leaving his lips as sweat dotted his brow and mixed with flakes of dried blood as it rolled down his face.

And still the boy persisted.

“Bitter Wings,” the child on his back murmured. An involuntary spasm rolled between his shoulders at the sound of her voice.

Too many emotions rolled into that sound. Something desperate, something worried, angry, hopeful, and far too mature for her lips. Kakashi knew something about mature children, having been one himself. This girl however, threw him through a loop. Something off about her carriage, the expressions he’d seen on her face, her tone of voice. There was something entirely… unnatural about her.

“What?” Sasuke grunted, his tone prickly and curt. Kakashi was surprised he’d bothered to acknowledge the strange name regardless.

_Bitter Wings?_ Perhaps it was oddly appropriate in a grossly poetic sort of way.

“I can’t see.” The girl muttered into his vest clad shoulder. Sasuke seemed to hear her fine, his one good eye flicking to her face, searching.

His feet landed on the next branch in time with Kakashi’s pace.

There was a moment of internal stillness, a moment where Kakashi waited to see if Nanami would explain the statement further. The less he interjected between them, the more likely they would be to continue a conversation.

“I know,” Sasuke replied, expression soft for the barest of seconds. “We’ll get it figured out.” Kakashi’s brow furrowed at his phrasing. Confused by the dynamic between the Unknown and the Deserter, and not enjoying it at all.

Talking seemed to exhaust Sasuke further, and the Jounin wondered not for the first time why he was even bothering to begin with.

“You shouldn’t come,” her voice came like a breath of air. “It’s too soon. Everything is too soon.” he strained to hear the last part as her voice trailed into nothing.

“Shut up Nanami,” Sasuke murmured back, far to gently, “I do what I want.”

Kakashi questioned that too.

* * *

There were a lot of things Sasuke had considered happening, a few more he considered that probably wouldn’t. Yet in all his musing about his return to Konoha, never had he imagined himself walking through the front gates of his own free will at his former sensei’s side.

A small voice in the back of his head was struggling, screaming in panic and agitation.

The rest of him was determined to stay with Nanami. As much as he would like to blame it entirely on her strange chakra’s influence over his psyche, he knew a conscious part of him needed to be near her too.

He felt put together around her. Perhaps not put together in a shape he quite recognized, something malformed and lumpy, but at least the hallucinations had been chased away; at least he had a grasp on his emotions (and reality) for the time being.

Sasuke was desperate to be in control of himself once more. He didn’t think he could stand to have a repeat of the last time they had parted. He wasn’t even sure how much time had passed between then and now, his awareness a complete disaster. He felt _truly_ _awake_ for the first time in what felt like a very long time.

He’d stick by Nanami to hold onto that, even if it meant following her into the bowels of his once home. (However reluctantly on the inside.)

There was only one gate guard underneath the sign-in kiosk, and Sasuke noted the man seemed too stunned to stop them when Kakashi just shifted Nanami’s weight across his back and walked right past without bothering to register. It seemed to him as if the crunch of their sandals on the gravel path was the loudest thing he’d ever heard.

One entire side of his face was throbbing; his eye socket was a constant irritation and the _plip plip_ of blood mixed with sweat off his chin was an unwanted distraction.

Sasuke ambled after; he was beyond tired and falling to pieces as the minutes ticked by. Only Nanami’s bleary, soft brown gaze kept him following after. The chakra tether between them shifting from taunt to slack with no rhyme or reason, her emotions a swirl often too fast for him to follow. Above all, exhaustion reigned supreme between the two of them.

Nanami’s cheek pressed into Kakashi’s shoulder, neck boneless and limp, a blush high on the bridge of her nose and a sigh of discontent on her lips.

Still, she watched him.

Sasuke didn’t need to see her face to know how she felt. He could feel it thrumming through their link, her chakra wild and uncontrolled as it flailed blindly. Panic, desperation, _fear_ , and some god forsaken feeling that Sasuke had no name for but recognized anyways. Like a child reaching for a parent; a gaping maw of emptiness that craved reassurances.

Her mind clung to his like a drowning man to driftwood in the sea.

His gaze snagged on hers for the millionth time as they trudged through familiar streets.

Masked ANBU silently flickering to their sides like dark shadowy escorts in the late afternoon haze.

Kakashi hummed under his breath, Nanami’s fingers curled harder into his flack jacket and Sasuke shifted closer to his… ( _Friend? Ward? Mental Captor?)_

Whatever she was to him.

The civilians they passed openly stared, stopping in their daily tasks to whisper to one another as they trudged by. The Konoha shinobi tried a little harder to seem subtle about the openly curious gazes, but only marginally.

Sasuke thought he might have heard a few gasps of recognition, but he only had eyes for the little girl laid across his former sensei’s shoulder. His world, his awareness, and his sanity breathing her in with great gasps of air.

An odd role reversal had him trying to reach out to calm the panic that didn’t show on her features. Her face smooth and blank; eyes hazy. (He’d seen the look before, so well-practiced on the face of his elder brother.) Her chakra was out of control, or at least what was left of it after Orochimaru had run the both of them into the ground. Sasuke wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong, but he could read context clues well enough.

She couldn’t feel any chakra, probably even her own. Her eyes constantly on him in a way he had previously felt her chakra- reassuring herself that he was there, but without her sensor abilities that sight was lost and her control and emotions along with it.

Sasuke ached, his ribs burned, their combined chakra depletion dragging at him with the claws of impending unconsciousness, and still his determination to stick by her side pressed at him with an iron will.  

An ANBU was nice enough to hold the door to the Hokage tower open for the impromptu entourage; admitting what had once been three but had grown to eight.

Sasuke was aware of someone sliding his sword from his belt as they ascended the staircase in a neat, orderly fashion. Glances were exchanged when he made no outward protest with the exception of a clenched jaw.

It felt like hours before they stood in a disgustingly familiar office, a large mahogany desk piled with papers and one blond Hokage perched atop it.

Sasuke was aware that the room was full of people, all clamoring loudly. He didn’t look at any of them. It was bothersome. He was tired. Nanami was tired.

Tsunade sat with legs crossed, arms folded beneath her bust, and a nasty scowl writ across her face like the front line of a war party.

Kakashi and Sasuke stood amidst the chaos; the eye of the storm, the silent party waiting for a verdict. Nanami lay pliant at Kakashi’s back, one hand curled tightly into his vest with a vise grip and the other hanging limp. Kakashi had one arm tucked under her legs to hold her, the other palmed the pocket that Sasuke knew held a little orange book.

Nanami’s eyes watered, tear tracks cutting a path through the soot on her face to _plip_ softly onto Kakashi’s green vest.

Her fingers twitched, and Sasuke found himself responding to the unasked plea before his own thoughts could catch up. He stepped forward, ignoring the immediate ripple of aggression in the room. Kakashi watched him from his peripheral over the top of Nanami’s singed, soot-caked hair. An unnatural stillness fell over his person as Sasuke caught Nanami’s little hand in his own and held it.

A heavy silence fell over the room, but all Sasuke cared about was the quieting of the link between himself and the hurting child before him.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, the link muting suddenly, harshly, like a slamming door. His awareness of her plunging into the depths of the ocean. Murky and indistinct. The burning red of the seal etched into her skin cooling to a solid black almost immediately.

Sasuke crumpled to the floor, following her into oblivion not a moment later.

* * *

“Someone prep a secure room at the hospital.” Tsunade grumbled, eyeing the broken form of the last Uchiha who’d just cracked his head on her floor; like the kid wasn’t bleeding enough as is. She turned on Kakashi then, hopping off her desk to click high heels across her office with a firm stride.

Kakashi just stood there, one eye lazy and uncaring. His head listed to the side to allow more room for the unconscious child on his shoulder.

Movement burst from the back of the room. Shizune, bless her, gathered up half filled out paperwork and made for the door to no doubt follow her orders.

“Why’d you bring the Uchiha, Hatake?” Tsunade was not in a forgiving mood at the moment. All the liquor bottles under her desk were already empty.

“I didn't bring him,” the man grumbled, finally bring one grey eye up to meet her own squarely. “He followed us here.”

A clamor rose again, Yamanaka Inoichi stepping forward with a heavy scowl and red, tired eyes. “That doesn't fit his psych eval,” he contested. Kakashi just shrugged, uncaring. Sasuke’s Psych evaluation wasn’t his problem.

Tsunade swept a glowing green hand over the small child’s forehead and neck, tutting at what she found there. “She needs surgery, get her to the hospital I’ll be right behind.” The Hokage didn’t offer further reasonings to the room, too many prying ears and too many unmade plans. Kakashi turned, stooping to pick up Uchiha Sasuke by the thick purple rope looped around the boy’s middle with his free hand and drag him out of the room.

For the moment, Tsunade tuned out the group of shinobi in her office.

First, she needed to make sure the kids actually lived.

Then shed pry all the information she needed from their heads with every available tool in her arsenal.

* * *

The conversion from hospital room to prison cell hadn’t taken long, a simple enclosed space with no windows on one of the lower levels. The walls were a stark white, the hum of the halogens on the ceiling a familiar sound in the hospital.

Two twin beds took up the majority of the room; the now clean and treated prisoners tucked beneath thin white sheets. Inoichi walked past the last Uchiha, not terribly concerned with the boy for the moment. (He couldn’t help but notice that half the boys face was mummified in bandages.)

The girl however…

Tsunade’s heels clicked on tile behind him, the door sealing shut in their wake.

“It’s not perfect,” she murmured, inspecting the seals etched into the cuffs that held Uchiha Sasuke to the railings of his bed. “But it’ll do in a pinch.”

The small girl had a very similar set up. Her hair had been trimmed, the singed ends removed and washed with the standard abrasive disinfectant soap used for hair and skin. She looked… young. Small and fragile laying with eyelashes fanned against her cheeks. An IV drip line trailed from an upturned wrist tipped with blue fingers up onto the hook that held the saline bag.  

She looked underfed; bone thin, with stress lines beneath her eyes. Inoichi knew chronic insomnia when he saw it. Kid couldn’t have been any older than an academy student. How she’d even come to be mixed up with such an abhorrent group of S-class missing-nin he wasn’t sure; but he hoped to find out by the end of this.

“How long will they be out for?” Inoichi did his best to calculate average interrogation times, distracted as he was.

Tsunade made her way to the girl’s bedside, pushing her face to the left so she could once more inspect the now dormant seal inked into her neck.

“As long as you need.” was the clipped reply.

Inoichi folded his hands in front of him, and then moved them to his sides when that didn’t feel right. His Hokage look up at him from the corner of her eye, a piercing look that peeled him apart. She stood to her full height, hand on one hip.

“Can you handle this, Yamanaka-san?”

Inoichi did his best not to bristle at what felt like an insult to his abilities as a Jounin, but even he had to admit he felt compromised in this situation. So instead he took a deep breath; in and out, in a calming movement and did his best to compartmentalize the grief that threatened to overwhelm him.

Later.

Later when he buried his daughter.

For now, he had a job to do.

He nodded, and voiced his assent, “Yes Ma’am.”

Tsunade’s eyes narrowed, mouth twisting at the side in a way he recognized on her features. There was a long moment where she held his eyes, before her gaze dropped and swung towards the door.

“I’m aware that the mind walk can be difficult when children are involved.”

Inoichi remained silent, hands lax at his sides. What could he say after all? He wouldn’t refuse this job even if it was true. He _needed_ to do this. It had to be him.

“I understand it can be more difficult to keep a lid on your own emotions when using this technique on children.” she continued, and his heart thumped loudly in his chest with surprise. That was not common knowledge. The Yamanaka clan, like many others, usually kept the weaknesses of their techniques to themselves. Bleed through was not an uncommon situation when in the mind of an adolescent.  

Regardless of how Tsunade had discovered this tidbit, it didn’t seem like she’d be volunteering her source any time soon so Inoichi let it go.

Silence stretched between them, the Yamanaka clan head counting his breaths like he had so often done as a younger man.

“Just get the job done, Inoichi-san,” Tsunade said, tone soft this time. He swept his gaze away, refusing to find the pity in her eyes that he knew was there. His hands clenched into fists, nails biting crescents into his palms.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He just needed to hold it together for a while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, as always I love you all and thank you for taking the time to review. I hope you are enjoying the story so far. The turn out for my last chapter left me breathless!  
> I’m so excited about the next couple of chapters! I’m already knee-deep into them which is a huge relief for me you guys have no idea how good it feels to get back into the swing of things.  
> I’ve gotten a lot of requests for something a little more light hearted so I’m working on it, but again please everyone be aware that this is not a happy fic, I don’t write lighthearted very well.  
> No sign of the Leaf-nin and the Zombi-Combo this chapter and I’m sad to say maybe not the next one either- but I won’t leave you guys hanging forever I promise. 
> 
> As always the continued legibility of the fic is brought to you by: Wistfuldaydream
> 
> Special Thanks to DominoDuh for being a good friend. 
> 
> Next time: Chapter Forty-Seven: Descent (Rewind)


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